Don't play with it

~~~

Take it with a grain of salt. Everything. Don't just lick all that soup up like you've never had soup before... Listen as the story explains itself. The tale is retold - there are three sides to the story. Just listen, don't judge. The time for that is not now. Remain wary, but don't cast judgement. Things have a way of sorting themselves out... take it one day at a time.

Breathe in that fresh air. Take a deep breath in. Savour it.

~~~

My birthday was lovely. Sher dropped by to drop off my gift... I'm sleepy...

I'll continue this tomorrow.

Shelli out.

I'm sorry... I guess at this point it is highly recommended that you look away, change webpage, scroll down... if you can't handle pure, unadulterated.... happiness....!!




I think I should bag some of this stuff and save it for a rainy day. *looks outside* Well what d'ya know? It is a rainy day. The rain has finally come and ended the dry season. The blessings are showering upon us washing away all sad thoughts, all pity frowns, all... just look at this happy face. *points at face*


What's a day when you go out and realize that that myth about greener pastures... and find out the reality is that.... *in voice of red M&M when he saw Santa Clause* *gasp for extra effect* DoEs exist.

I went out with Micks today again. They were playing cricket. 'Twas great fun. Lots of good food. Great company. Lots of rain.

I can't really find the ideal words to express how I feel... so i shall leave you with a *hug* and *kiss on cheek*.

~~~
Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles.

There is yet hope for me... I can pull off this Law exam... if I really try. If i really make a conscious effort to try.

~~~
This has the potential to be amongst the best birthdays ever - if not the best as is...

Be happy..! It's my birthday(tomorrow)...!

MUAH!

Shelli out.

I shall leave you with a few meagre words of wisdom in the absence of my ability to produce such myself........

I am happy. I am... click your feet together with every other step Fred Flintstone style happy. I am a tough bubble to pop, floating up into the air to kiss the clouds happy. I am can't-stop-smiling happy. I am happy beyond repair of this happiness happy. I am dance-and-sing in the rain happy - or shall i say sit in the drizzle happy. I am... glowing happy.



I kicked off my birthday celebration last night. I went out with Micks to Free Drinks Club Bananas. No I am not an alcoholic and no i did not get drunk. So therefore alcohol is not the reason for my happiness.... It's just that it was something i really needed and i didn't realize how much until i did it. It was a truly liberating experience. Good company. Good fun. i can't find the words to explain it anymore... Heh... including a couple experiences for the grand kids like my dad taking forever to arrive...


Of course there were many open mouth insert foot moments. BUT what the hell - live without regrets right?


Oh and i saw Mekelia, one of my colleagues... 'twas a fun night.. i got home around 6.

Well I have nothing else really to post. Friday, I had confiscated some nail polish from one of my Form 3 students. Two students from the class ended up painting my nails. Heh.. A pretty shade of metallic baby pink. It's looking untidy now from cracking and my constant interference with it... I shall resume the scratch-nail-polish-of-nails process now.


Shelli out.

Ok it's 7.12 AM. I am almost ready for work... just have to eat breakfast and leave.


~~~

Hmm... I didn't update last night.

Nothing much happened yesterday. I went to work. I marked papers. I met up with Daniele and Shev. Daniele had a couple of Atwood's poems she wanted to hear me read aloud. I read them. C'est tout...

mais... the funniest thing happened... ok I'm sure this has happened to many people along with me... When I was walking through Sendall Tunnel to get to the Treasury, the lights were going on and off. It was daytime, but I didn't realize the great difference the light made until they came off. The strange part is that as I stepped through the lights went on in sequence - the one in front of me came on, as I approached. The ones that i had already passed under came off. Ok, so about 3 of the many lights didn't follow that rule. BUT that doesn't make it less appealing to let my imagination believe that it was some cosmic happening on a metaphysical level.

i'm off to bed.
G'night.
Shelli out.

What is a day, when pensive thoughts swarm your being? When unanswered questions dominate your vision... everything seen through those shattered rose coloured glasses. Nothing looks the same anymore. And when the light blinds your eyes, the burst of colour almost too much. When you sit and close your eyes and bid your time to adjust to the light... The reality of sight appears before you and you are torn... torn from the memory of your monochromatic vision to... to... accept that the prism, of that unwelcomed ray of morning sunlight through the edge the window's glass, separates into more than just one, single colour. It's almost hard to accept - all of the pretty colours. Rose has not become absent, it has just become in spite of. It is, right there, in the midst of colours still. Existing. It is in the painted wall of old bedroom. It is in the petals of my mother's Jerba flowers in her garden. It is in my favourite comfy t-shirt and those pants I rarely wear. It is in my Love-a-lot Care Bear from Nads...

Nothing remains static, yet change always seems to catch me off-guard. Not that I can't handle it, it just always seems to be shaking things up, like a snow globe. The snow bits settle and next thing I know they're all over floating again. Perhaps it's just me, but despite knowing better, things seem to freeze like a photograph in my mind when I leave. Yet I remain shocked when I change, and return to the places that have changed like I have.

But what about... there's nothing like returning to a place that has remained the same, to only find out how much you have changed?

Come on Shelli... You must get tired of retracing your footsteps, questioning your decisions. Final means final.

I honestly believe some of us have found heaven on Earth... whilst some have single-handedly made their way to hell... after all, that road is paved with good intentions.

~~~


~~~

Suspicion of lies is one thing. Confirmation of lies is another.
Shelli out.

~~~

Lie (?), n. [AS. lyge; akin to D. leugen, OHG. lugi, G. luge, lug, Icel. lygi, Dan. & Sw. logn, Goth. liugn. See Lie to utter a falsehood.]
1. A falsehood uttered or acted for the purpose of deception; an intentional violation of truth; an untruth spoken with the intention to deceive.

It is willful deceit that makes a lie. A man may act a lie, as by pointing his finger in a wrong direction when a traveler inquires of him his road. Paley.

2. A fiction; a fable; an untruth.
Dryden.
3. Anything which misleads or disappoints.

Wishing this lie of life was o'er. Trench.

To give the lie to. (a) To charge with falsehood; as, the man gave him the lie. (b) To reveal to be false; as, a man's actions may give the lie to his words. -- White lie, a euphemism for such lies as one finds it convenient to tell, and excuses himself for telling.
Syn. -- Untruth; falsehood; fiction; deception. -- lie, Untruth. A man may state what is untrue from ignorance or misconception; hence, to impute an untruth to one is not necessarily the same as charging him with a lie. Every lie is an untruth, but not every untruth is a lie. Cf. Falsity.

Do excuse that... i was just thinking about lies today... white lies... big lies... small lies... lies by omission... and how we're actually taught to lie in society... from since we're small...

Now that that's out of my system....
~~~

Today was a good day. I realize how futile it is to complain about my students. They have their moments, but i like them too much.

Today, i taught my hellish Form 2s Reported/Indirect speech. I was going in accordance to the textbook but then i realized that they were a) distracted, b) not following in the textbook c) ultimately not understanding and d) not making the least effort to try to understand. After I went through everything, possibly more than twice and reaching nowhere until i decided try another approach. I closed the textbook, leaned against the desk, and I re-taught the lesson trying to use their language, trying to make the lesson more practical. As students, inquisitive students, it's hard not to be involved in "he said/she said" throughout the day. Thus, what i did is point out and emphasize just that, and also when they're telling the story they don't tell the story in first or second person, but in third person. Also, that when you do so, tenses come into play - future, present, past. Also, that if we are speaking of something that always remains true (a true statement) then the tense remains in past tense. My objective with this practical approach was to demystify the topic and bring it down to a level where they go "OHHHH, thats what she means...!". Hopefully, my endeavors were successful. Next class, I shall have them give me everyday examples to make sure they understood.



As for my Form 3s, I reviewed an exercise they apparently did already. I was going in accordance to the pre-planned lesson and we've essentially covered most of what has to be covered for their end-of-term exams. The theme, I soon realized as the lesson progressed, was about fashion. There were two poems and two dialogues dedicated to arguing/defending fashion. It was a fun class. The lesson provided some leeway to prompt a discussion on their opinion on fashion - what's proper/improper, the attention attracted based on dress and such. Next class they want to have a discussion on folk tales such as Lagablesse, Old Higue/Ligaroo, etc. On Friday I plan to read an article from Cosmogirl magazine, from back when the magazines had more substance than fluff. It was one of my favourite magazines to read... very inspiring as a female, offered excellent advice on career choices/budgeting, and many stories of ordinary teens that have done amazing feats. I'm thinking of reading the Julia Stiles article on adhering to her values and pursuing further education despite her successes as an actress and the influence/pressure of the media. The characters she tends to play in her movies tend to be very strong, self-assured (not self-centered) characters, which seems to some extent imitate her actual personality. She's amongst my favourites... I'll stop now. Enough diversion... what I really meant to say is I'll be having that discussion about ghosts and such after my article reading.


Then my Form 1s... they're warming up to Sprat Morrison. Of course, since we are behind, they need to warm up faster.... but at least they are beginning to like it...

My children. *contented sigh*

The art of winning the war, doesn't come from fighting every battle but careful selection of the battles you are sure to win.

~~~

I am... easily amused again. I've seen so many things today that all i was able to manage was to shake my head and chuckle to myself.

This included the most amusing drive-by of drive-bys. It's amazing the things one can see when you're not looking (to see something particularly). *wink* Pay attention to the smaller/finer details of life sometimes folks, they help paint the bigger picture. My actually enjoying teaching today. My consumption of plums till it made me sick. My walking around the school with my plums so as to protect them. *laughs* You know you're in Grenada when plums and mangoes aren't safe lying anywhere that doesn't lock them in...like a safe...in a vault... underground... in a bank...! *giggle* Well, any fruit for that matter. Well, the whole Caribbean not just Grenada while we're on it.

Yesterday i was so frustrated with teaching. I was talking to Daniele (another art teacher) about my struggles, and she said she was experiencing the same thing. It's like uphill both ways. Some days it's great, but it's not taken seriously.

Art is one of those subjects that encompasses everything, in my opinion. It's like doing Literature class. Literature, as a subject, touches every other subject, every aspect of life. When I did Literature back in college with Mr. A., at the end of the 2 years I left with a bit of knowledge from all the courses taught at school.

WAITING FOR GODOT by Samuel Beckett, covered metaphysics, the World War II, a touch of European history, the change in direction of theatre from an Aristotelian structure (beginning, middle, end) to the Theatre of the Absurd, (which coincidentally, is thought to have originated with the cultural Dadaism movement that started around World War I). Also, we covered various theories on religion, ventured as far as Atheism and existentialism. Even Maths was touched. CLEAR LIGHT OF DAY by Anita Desai brought forth History class with Mohatma Ghandi, the Pakistan/India divide, European influence in India, as well as a new type of clarity regarding the differences between Hinduism and Islam. BELOVED by Toni Morrison dealt with the issue of slavery, the long lasting effects thereof, the emotional, physical, psychological scars that remained. And the poets that we were introduced to such as Margaret Atwood, Martin Carter, Olive Senior and William Wordsworth covered politics, history of their country/homeland, social inferences into society... The list is onwards.

Art is Literature in a visual form, not necessarily needing words. It's a frozen image of history. It's a collection of thought bearing witness upon itself. It, like Literature, touches a bit of everything. It touches every aspect of life. Infact, there was History Painting, a dominant form of the academic art movement, that was based on Historical themes. According to Humanities Web, History painting became such a prestigious striving for artists that they were reduced to combing through contemporary literature, Shakespeare and the like for even second-hand accounts from which to create new work.






The Spanish struggle is the fight of reaction against the people, against freedom. My whole life as an artist has been nothing more than a continuous struggle against reaction and the death of art. How could anybody think for a moment that I could be in agreement with reaction and death? ... In the panel on which I am working, which I shall call Guernica, and in all my recent works of art, I clearly express my abhorrence of the military caste which has sunk Spain in an ocean of pain and death.
-Picasso




This surging passion, hurt filled, of two people related to one another, struck by abrupt and brutal violence, is witnessed in varying lights by the grand forms of the arts. Pablo Picasso's Guernica is a painting of white and black and gray motion, mayhem, and mourning. A woman, her head cocked upwards, her mouth widely open in anguish (scream) clutches her motionless child. This mother and child have been described as descendants of the thirteenth-fourteenth century wooden sculpture Pieta. The brightly painted sculpture, the Madonna with her blood soaked grown son, the sadness and stunned disbelief on her face; his emaciated body draped in deflated posture on his mother's lap, supported by her arms and hands; while his left arm extends across the crook of her left arm, and his right arm looselyt hands down, his hand torn in an explosive crucifixion wound.- David Rasey




Well, I think everyone should know the Rosa Parks story... Her refusal to relinquish her seat on a bus to a white man. She was an African American civil rights activist. For more information on her, click here.



The Last Supper (1495-1498)
Leonardo Da Vinci


I shall look for more work... It's getting late... 12.23 am.I really should go to bed.

In conclusion, while people have been writing novels and plays about the different significant periods along the time line, simultaneously artists have been providing visual reference for these areas with the same strength.


~~~

Before i fall asleep on the keyboard. Good night.
Shelli out.

~~~

Today is Sunday. According to J.E.W., the haze clears your eyes on a Sunday. So by haze, for me, that means sleep. My mom woke me up from my afternoon nap to announce we had guests. Aunt Joylyn and Thandi had come over.

I haven't seen Aunt Joylyn since sports... and Thandi since like Christmas. It was fun.

Thandi and I were talking about schools and such. She was saying that she doesn't regret taking a few years off to work, rather than rushing to go straight to University. After working, one has a greater appreciation for university, if one intends to seek further education. Her arguments on the subject - I agree with.

When you're working and you're at the bottom, taking orders from those higher than you, it can be a frustrating and trying experience at times. For some, they grow to accept it with, what i would call, a defeatist attitude. They become accustomed to it, and whilst they complain it reaches a stage where it doesn't really matter. For others, they just run away to some other job, and keep running. And for the rest of people, it serves as a motivator. It compels one to strive to be the boss, the one making decisions - hopefully better, to be more....

Don't get me wrong, I am speaking generally and I adore my job - at times, the kids have their moments. I adore my colleagues and my boss, i couldn't have asked for a better work environment. But i would be lying if i didn't think they were moments when i thought to myself 'I want more than just this... there has to be more than just this...'.

And while i think i would like to stay in the teaching profession, i can see beyond the horizon a bit clearer. I have the clarity, the objectives, in mind to proceed (almost) surefooted into University and not waste too much time. I think as time progresses i may still end up teaching, if not full-time then part-time somewhere... I like it...

~~~

I have some plans in motion. Some things to be accomplished by the year's end.

Ooooh excitement.

Delightful.

Shelli out.

Ohhh...
P.S.

Despite all the stuff that went down.... here's one of the highlights... It made me laugh. It's a convo between Liz and I.

Clever lines is me.
Party without the ppl is her.

~~~

Friday, Sept. 8th, 2006

Don't play with it.

The thing about hitting rock bottom - there's only one way you could go - up.

~~~

I started typing a post this morning. Honestly, it would have been amongst my most depressing of posts. Fortunately, i was running late for work - as usual. By the time my old faithful got booted up and let me open up Firefox, it was minutes to 8 - as usual. I think i may have even performed an illegal shut down. - as usual.

Anyways, enough digression. I had a GREAT day. I think "GREAT" just about sums it up.

'Great' definition:

4.	wonderful; first-rate; very good: We had a great time. That's great!

5.	being such in an extreme or notable degree: great friends; a great talker.

6.	notable; remarkable; exceptionally outstanding: a great occasion.

(for the other #s click here)


Hmm... where shall i start? "That's Great", "Great Friends" or "A great occasion"?

Well work was ... well let's just say T.G.I.F. (Thank God It's Friday).

I have a Honda CRV backseat full of English notebooks and Art Sketchbooks waiting to be marked. Joyful, joyful. Glory, Glory. Before i depress myself further and kill my joy.... BACk to the GREATness talk.

```

After work i hitched a ride home with my mom. Changed. Deliberated around the house, picking up random items and debating whether or not to take it with me or not. I've been told i like a lot of junk, and i like to walk around with even more... I realized that. I put my little black sketchbook, my big poetry notebook, a pencil case containing everything from emergency pens to sketching pens to charcoal to 2 different types of erasers, and... etc etc etc... Then my eyes landed on my digital camera. It's been a while since it took any trip with me. Been a while since i cared to have my picture taken... As my hand hovered over it, my thoughts rationalized why i should add this extra weight to my bag, considering it was already heavy as is. Next thing i know, my brain is saying leave it home while i watch my fingers curl around the camera and then plop it in my bag. As i left the house, i convinced myself i was going to finally take some proper pictures for my blog.

```

Shawn finally brought that CD he swore he was making for me since 2005.... right. Pigs fly too? Anyways, finally have it... it's not bad (it's pretty good, laid back). It's hip hop in the true essence of hip hop. I'm talking hip hop so good it makes classic. I'm talking hip hop so good, the lyrics just pour over you, and you find yourself bumping your head to the words... to the rhythm. I'm talking hip hop so good, that you leave learning something, not feeling degraded, defeated, angry. I'm talking hip hop so good, you have to search to find a curse word, and i've been drawing blanks on my ctrl + F searches on the lyrics page. I'm talking hip hop one can actually defend on an intellectual level (like Chris Rock said) That. Is. What. You. Call. Good. Hip Hop.

I'm talking about Wyclef Jean, The Roots, Erykah Badu, Common, Nas, Mobb Deep, Luniz, Wu-Tang Clan, The Notorious B.I.G., 2pac, Cam'ron.


```

So i met Daniele at the Square. That's the meeting spot. Finally brought my Atwood collection for her to read. Bringing yet another soul into the wonderful world of Atwood. Introduced her to Shawn. We chilled for a bit, then walked over the Carenage to the Botanical Gardens. Bounced into Steff by Creole Shack. Then Shawn bounced into someone he knew. Then Daniele did. *laughs out loud happily to self*

Today was an awesome day. Eventually we made it over, in one piece.

Before i continue, when we were on the Square there was a pickup that drove by with some familiar faces. The people were Rasta, and i couldn't piece together the how i knew them or why it clicked.

```

So we arrive. I had called Shem on the walk across and informed him i was bringing some new talent to the group.

As we got closer, at finally became clearer... Lo and behold, the same Rastas were there. Being interviewed. Luciano. *gasp*

```

Following Shem, the rest of us - Daniele, Shawn and myself - went over to say hi. He asked us to read some of our poetry. He liked our stuff. He gave us his card with some extra information. He signed in my little black sketchbook. We're trying to organize a show at Club Deja Vu, upstairs Reno, for Saturday. Invite him to come see some local talent housed at one spot for one night. He's open to the idea. Let's hope Shem is able to pull the right strings and get it organized.


*cough* My autograph. So from now on... call me Empress.
*giggles happily*

Perhaps if i get brave enough i might post pictures of myself with him, and our poetry group. Granted i have the consent of the other people in the photos.

That's all.

```

Kaiz, a friend of mine just signed in. His sn (screen name) says 'Why is pain the only inspiration we have?'..... Why IS pain such an inspiration indeed.

```

'alright you have twenty seconds to impress upon me why you would be a worthy candidate in the race up to my elections...go!'
-Steff

After the Gardens, Shawn, Akilly and I walked over. Akil took a bus in Tanteen. We, Shawn and I, met up with Steff. Then Shawn left. Steff was there with some girlfriends. I was introduced. We had a good heart-to-heart, girls night out, bonding session. By bonding session, i mean we had a "we strongly dislike bOyS" session. Complained, complained, complained, till there was nothing left inside for us. It was all out.

Steff had a guy friend amongst us coming down to the end, and he had a beer. Lol. And started to confess the dirty deeds of the male species. He admitted guys inexplicably cheat. They have absolutely no real, valid reason to leave the gReAt girl they're with and cheat on her with some, random doesn't-hold-a-candle-to-his-girl kind of girl. Entering into these clandestine sessions knowing full well the consequences if such were to be revealed. Furthermore, females have an extra radar for this.

For another question we were not able to answer.... why do guys lie? Lie about little things that they don't have to lie about. Lie about big things they could just have said earlier. La la LIES...

```

Anyways, that was last night.

Shelli has recovered.
Shelli is happy.

~~~

One happy lark.
Shelli Out.

~~~

Today was a decent day. Bleh... I'm taking a break from talking about my kids. They seem to be working with the weather, some days fair to fine, some days a few scattered showers, other days ominous and looming.

SO instead I'll talk about the holiday tomorrow. YAY! Ok so it's not entirely a holiday. It's a working day without having to do work - for me. This is so... because my school happens to be Anglican and there is seem great religious gathering of the schools tomorrow. That's really awful of me i guess - not knowing exactly why the meeting or what it entails beyond a religious service and cultural presentation. I should know the reason for it being tomorrow interrupting the school week... BUT that's not really important. I have a holiday from work work.

~~~

I've introduced Margaret Atwood into my staffroom. It was most amusing. I'm not sure the writing appealed much to the males on staff. However, the females liked it. 'A Women's Issue' sparked great discussion, especially amongst the History teachers, as it dealt with traditions in some parts of the world.

Excerpt below...

...Exhibit C is the young girl
dragged into the bush by the midwives
and made to sing while they scrape the flesh
from between her legs, then tie her thighs
till she scabs over and is called healed.
Now she can be married.
For each childbirth they'll cut her
open, then sew her up.
Men like tight women.
The ones that die are carefully buried.

...This is no museum.
Who invented the word love?

that's just stanza 3 and the last stanza. Atwood doesn't mince words. She has a frank, almost clinical, feminist, raw approach in her writing. It's delicious.

From her book Power Politics (1971). She opens with a four line poem.

You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

And there's 'Hesitations Outside The Door', also from Power Politics.


I adore her writing style. Free Style... An ideal selection of simple words pieced together in the a brilliant manner. Her words tell an ambiguous story so that when you read it, it becomes a vicarious, nostalgic experience no longer Atwood's, but your own. You step into the shoes of the persona and you relive your experiences as you attach them word by simple word.

Her poems are succinct - and at risk of being cliché - short, sweet and to the point. She wastes no time with pretty words. If they're meant to hurt, she cuts deep. If they're meant to make you think, you end up in a introspective mood. Whatever the intention, she is successful.

This of course isn't the gospel truth, just my opinion.

~~~

Suffice to say.... I'm in a poetic mood. Going to Deja Vu has inspired me...

~~~

How about that... Sun kisses do fall upon me, for the love of irony. I was just scanning my other posts, as i usually do, for errors and i realized... the post on the fires were taken on that day and i didn't credit my photographer. *Ahem* Ru. Thanks for the shots Ru.


I'm sleepy.
And happy.
And content.

Shelli out.
For now.

I had a good day. I had good classes. I enjoyed teaching today. My students were compliant. I taught form 1,2 and 4 today. The rest of this teaching semester with my art students shall be practical work.

I really need to see my Form 4 art students... Being able to pull this off is getting slimmer every day we don't get to meet...

~~~

I went to Deja Vu tonight. It's this nice little jazzy club that opened recently. Location, on top of Reno Cinema. It has nice white couches, candles, curtains... I'm not a fan of the blue lights over the bar. But that's my prejudice. I think the place overall is alright, a lovely idea. It's something different, something we don't really have here on the island.

Tonight was poetry night. It's was ok. I read two pieces, "This is getting over you" and "Chivalry is dead". A bit sombre. A bit harsh. A bit direct. A bit very Alanis. I wrote two poems other poems while i was there, "Deja Vu" and "Pass that dutch (courage)".

I might go back some time to perform. I enjoyed it.

~~~

I was running on adrenaline today. It's probably not the best thing to do... I could hardly stomach lunch today. At least i drank a malt. Then i drank a malt at Deja Vu tonight. I just didn't have much of an appetite. I missed my schedule with my medication... oh well...

Now it's all catching up with me... I'm tired again. I'm at a stage of hunger that i'm confused. And i'm still angry. I'm still listening to Anna Davids. I still don't understand how it happened. I still don't understand how i didn't foresee it happening. I still don't understand how i wound up right were i left. I just don't understand... so much for trust(ing things to progress correctly). I should've known better. All these chances... it really shouldn't even matter...

~~~

The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. The grass is greener where it is watered.

While the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, it falls right in the midst of all the other apples. Among others, just like itself. Bearing strong resemblance, similar flavour, similar characteristics.

I'm not really an apple fan.

Sleep is getting the better of me... I'm not making sense... Goodnight.

~~~

FURB.... what ever happened to Furby toys?
Shelli out.

I have had one roller coaster ride of a day.

~~~

My kids were like spawns from hell today. I don't know if i seemed/sounded like it, but i felt horrible today. Every time i stood up in the classroom i felt so weak, like i felt as if i swayed slightly, that i sat right back down and tried to stay there. One of my Form 2s took so much of my already depleted, from this sickness, energy source that for the 2nd period i just sat and took names. I couldn't be bothered to raise my voice and force them to do anything. My voice was literally going because of this cough.

Hmm... i really do hope i feel better tomorrow.. I really do hope my classes are better tomorrow.

~~~

It's 10.57 P.M... I think i just may have seen the second saddest, if not the saddest episode of Y&R... I almost cried when they didn't find Dru's body... Now the Newman Jet has gone down... And they can't find Nick.

What is up with these writers? Nikki is behaving just like Sharon did when Cassie died. She's blaming Victor.

Nick... wow...there's something strangely disconcerting in Soaps lack of predictability these days... They're taking the tear-jerker route every opportunity they get.

When Phyllis found out from Michael about what happened... at that point did my eyes begin to water. Phyllis is such a wonderful actor... I felt her pain.

Lily and Daniel.. Jack and Sharon... Oooh.. the look of hope on everyone's faces as Sharon walked into the room oblivious to what had happened... Jack's reaction to seeing her.. thinking she was a ghost... hmm...

~~~

It seems everything about today finished with a sombre note. I guess in a way it was all very humbling. I mean, there were some highlights... that includes the meeting up with Danielle and Shev on the Square... seeing Brendon and Dri Dri... reaching home unscathed.... but still.

Life never promised there wouldn't be bad days...

'Tis how the cookie crumbles...

Just roll with the punches...

Ok, i think that's enough clichés for the night...

~~~

Could you walk and talk at the same time?

Has anybody heard the rap remix of "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce feat. Trina...? It's pretty good. Beware they use some *ahem* inappropriate language but.. i like it. Not bad. A nice mixture of rap and r&b, and the rap is in accordance to the original lyrics.

Don't make me remind you...
to the left to the left

Lyrics available here.

And this is the original.



Original lyrics available here.

You know what's the catch with really stupid meaningless songs? They're extremely catchy. So catchy that you start loving them... strolling down the street humming it... wanting to kick yourself in the shins and stop...

Here's some meaningless songs i've discovered...

• * Young B - "Chicken Noodle Soup"
  
  I Let It Rain Now Clear It Out [x4]
  And Lets Get It, Lets Get It [x7]
  Let It Rain A Clear It Out [x2]
  Chicken Noodle Soup Chicken Noodle Soup Chicken Noodle Soup Wit A Soda On Da Side [x4]
  
  
• * Buckwheat Boys - "Peanut Butter Jelly Time"
  
  Where he at 4x
  There he go 4x
  Peanut butter jelly 4x
  Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly,
  Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat 2x
  
  
• * D4L - "Laffy Taffy"
  
  Gurl shake dat laffy taffy
  Dat laffy taffy
  Shake dat laffy taffy
  Dat laffy taffy
  
  
• * Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps"
  
  What you gon' do with all that junk?
  All that junk inside that trunk?
  I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
  Get you love drunk off this hump.
  
• * Gwen Stefani - "Wind it up"
  
  They're trying to bite our style
  Trying to study our approach
  They like the way we do it, so original
  I guess that they are slow, so they should leave the room
  This beat is for the clubs, and cars that go
  
  
• * Fergie - "London Bridge" and "Fergalicious"
  
  I'm Fergalicious (so delicious)
  My body stay vicious
  I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
  He's my witness (oooh, wee)
  I put yo' boy on rock, rock
  And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)
  
  
• *Danity Kane - "Show Stoppers"
  
  We in the car
  We ride slow
  We doin things that the girls don't do
  The boys stare
  We smile back
  All my girls in the rainbow cadillacs
  
  (ok.. this is more of a female anthem... but its a catchy male version about cars..and riding in them...)
  
  
• * Mavado "Weh dem do" and "Dreaming" (i just know the chorus...from hearing it so much)
  
  gangsta fa life
  real bakkle is on
  anyway gangsta fa life
  weh dem a do weh dem a try
  marrow wi fly into di sky
  gun mi nuh barrow mi money buy
  a bwoie wi die
  
  
• * Mr. Vegas - "Hot wuk" (as a female... i shouldn't even like this song...but it's all over...)
  
  girl say wine wid it, wine wid it, hot wuk wid it.
  wine wid it, wine wid it, girl snap ur fingers and say.
  wine wid it, wine wid it, hot wuk wid it.
  Now really... c'mon....
  
  
• * Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz - "Get low" (it really is stupid... and like hot wuk...as a female...)
  This is the most PG part of their lyrics i could find... and THAT should say something in itself.
  
  3,6,9 damn she fine hopin she can sock it to me one mo time
  get low, get low, get low, get low.
  
  

There are some others... but as with catchy songs... when you get them out of your system, they're gone. At least until you hear them played once again.

Honestly, what meaningful intellectual understanding can you get from any of those songs? He loves her lady lumps? 3, 6, 9 she fine? *perks eyebrow quizzically* really now...?

Now that i have that out of my system....

~~~

Grenada has been so dry recently. Dry, hot and humid. You know how normally you complain about how cold the water is and pray for warm water? Well... the water is hot when you want it to be cold to cool down from the heat and humidity. So instead of leaving with a smile, all cool and clean and refreshed when you shower... you're more likely to 'stupes' and complain about how unsatisfying the shower was as you're STILL feeling hot.

There have also been a LOT of fires recently. We're being serenaded by sirens rushing to fires on a daily basis.

Below are some photos of a fire on a hill... They're not all that great as they were taken with a camera phone... but i tried.





The shots were taken at the Botanical Gardens, Friday 11th May... Sometime around 6 pm i think.

~~~

I'm off now...
Tiredness has once more set in.
Shelli out.
Updates postponed till tomorrow.

I went to the Poetry meeting yesterday. It wasn't particularly WAG related... The guy posed some very interesting ideas. I'm not sure if i have the time nor dedication the project would need, to put into it. I already am on such a tight schedule.

~~~

Earlier this week, or week before, Ms. G commissioned a painting on a dress. The dress was a strapless evening gown made of pink satin. Designed and tailored to fit one of our students that's taking part in a Queen show.

Below are some photos of the finished work...
(click photo to enlarge)

Sleep is overwhelming me. I have a delightful post to write on teaching, inspired by a talk with my Lit teacher's wife... it's always so much fun to speak with them... one learns so much.

I'm too sleepy to write it now.. But i will tomorrow.

~~~

First day back at work after my bout of allergies - not too bad. I forgot my medication home... and it feels awful... *shudders* my sore throat that is... i think i'm getting a cough as well... hmm...

I'm off to La La Land...
Shelli out.

Ok so my illness is easing up. I think night is when i feel my worst. Around midday i started feeling better... NOW my lower back ache is returning, as is my headache, as is dizzy spells, as is my skin aches...

I reckon this post shalt not be very long.

~~~

I went to the doctor today. After many extreme hypotheses ranging from West Nile fever to Dengue and all sorts of extremities (much thanks to Google... for making me worry more) it turns out this may all be due to stress, allergies (and the flu). Nothing that can't be cured with sleep, antihistamine and lots of liquids.

MNIB is launching this soup-a-day thing. I tried it. Today was the first day. My taste buds are all on vacation, so all i can taste are the reaalllly strong seasoning and such. Thus, i *think* it tasted not too bad. I'll surely try it again sometime - granted i am in town coincidentally, i want soup, and they still have this soup-a-day endeavour running.

~~~

I've been studying. Better late than never right? I'm actually growing in confidence for this exam. Naturally, i came up with all sorts of ridiculous justification not to do it as well as shifting and allocating of blame in the event of failure. However, this exam is for me. I can totally do this. And like i always say, people have done more with less before... so why not me?

I've been pounding Real Property. It all makes sense now... Just need to get a handle on my cases and i'm good to go.

~~~

With the exception of this post (post # 70) i have 69 posts... hehehe

~~~

Oh and Ames, when and if you read this... remember all is not lost. What does not kill makes you stronger... and every obstacle is a potential opportunity to rise above if work it properly.


This day too shall pass.

~~~

With a grimace ...
Shelli limps away in pain ...
to her bed chamber ...
in hopes of a quick recovery ...

Shelli out.

I'm sick...
i feel absolutely horrid...
as in teeth chattering cold (while dressed particularly warm), as in joints ache, as in skin hurts, as in... i think i have a temperature... as in i have a headache... as in ... i feel oh so weak...

but my classes...

*trimbles* *gets up and closes windows*

Must get better....

I feel awful.... somebody make it stop.

i'm going to snuggle in bed.
good nite.
shelli out.

And so there i sat, submerged to my chin in 2-3 feet deep water, my back to the sun. I smiled to myself. The irony is that i had three epiphanies in that single moment - firstly, it was a good idea to come back into the water. It no longer felt freezing cold. Secondly, most of my grand epiphanies happen on Grand Anse beach. Thirdly, i had my decision.

The water was nice... and calm. It didn't crash against the shore, it was all smooth and gentle movements - like a caress... like a whisper against the sand...

I looked on. After frolic and moments clandestine, there isn't much one can do but sit and look on...

I acknowledged that when i finally decide to rise out of the water, i would be different. I acknowledged that every footstep left a definite footprint walking away... something visual, something tangible, something that can't be ignored.. And every tentative step towards the tree, where my clothes was, was one step closer to the person i am becoming...

Scary, but reassuring at the same time. For once, life is going in the direction it's supposed to. For once....