I haven't posted for a while and that's because I've been doing a lot of reflective meditation. Recently, a close friend passed away. This would make it the 5th friend within a year span. This one though, was a very close one, like a little sister... And about 2 weeks before that, a college friend passed away as well. Granted she was sick, it doesn't make it easier to process. For the first few weeks, I found myself digging through the archives to find all my photos of and with her, going through our old conversations, so desperately trying to relive the good times and not to forget her. And of course, the knowledge of the growing list of "Never again" realizations made me incredibly teary eyed when I wasn't bawling down the place.
When the first death happened last year, with Tony, I asked myself why. It was one of those deaths that didn't have to happen - likewise all that consequently followed. But they did pass away regardless whether it was preventable or not.
I've found myself looking within a lot more and having more conversations with God and taking a closer look at everything happening around me. The last year has had many deaths, not all literal, but each coming with their blow to the stomach, knock the air out of your lungs affect nonetheless. Each one surprising and shocking - like I said, because you can feel something coming doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and shock you when it happens.
This last death though happened in such a funny way that I couldn't help but laugh a little looking back at it. I just left my "dream job" to pursue my heart's desire of being an artist in February. Filed my 2 weeks' notice and by midmonth I started my life's dream of being an artist - a real one, registered business and everything. My friend passed away roughly 2 weeks after her birthday, 2 weeks into March. I remember praying to God actively to give her health and strength to make it to her birthday, but I never envisioned she would pass away after. 2 weeks into the first real month of my new career, I found myself blindly booking a ticket and hopping a plane to Guyana to bid a final farewell in body because deep down, I know it's what she would've done. That was my motivating thought throughout this whole thing, "I have to do it, it's what she would do."
While we had our fall outs as all friendships do, she was always there for me when I needed her and vice versa. Most of our conversations started with "I love you" so that if nothing else, regardless of vexation or not, know that the love is there when heated emotions subside. She was one of the most loyal friends I've ever had, in that I knew in all certainty, once she was able, she was willing to help me out in any situation. And I too, with her. Everyone has a crazy wild friend and while I'm that person to most of my friends, she's that person for me. She always had a bold, matter of fact approach to life. She did exactly what she wanted, said exactly how she felt and, even if she had any self doubt, approached school and work 150% energy... despite being sick for most of her life. I remember her telling me when she was 16 that would die young because of it but I didn't want to accept it. Now that it's happened, looking at her life story, at the path she's left behind for others, the lives she impacted upon from professors to the student body at the University, to past workmates, to people who've just interacted with her... She didn't go too soon - she served her purpose. She lived full, and taught everyone around her to be full of life and go hard at everything you do because you don't know when that day will come when you don't get that chance anymore.
After she passed away, I was surprised at those I heard from and those I didn't. Over the last year I've learned the hard way that most times in a crisis, you're alone, and the person you find sitting next to you most likely is not the person you'd think.
Now that she's passed away, I'm sad. However, after looking back and going through everything, she told me everything that I needed to remember. In fact, there's things that only now, I understand.
This past year of deaths has taught me...
Love everyone but don't give everyone all of you. I found myself emotionally exhausted - a lot - due to this. Often times, especially if we're kind hearted, we find ourselves giving more than we should to others who don't appreciate it. We operate as fillers for the time they need to pass, or lesson to learn or whatever. I've learned that if I'm emotionally exhausted, that I won't even have the energy to love myself to do the things I have to do. And not everyone has to know everything about you.
Give your energy where it grows. People who love you back, give some of their energy to you as well. Therefore the bond leaves you feeling good and happy, not insecure and feeling like you have to try harder. If in any relationship, platonic or romantic, you feel like you're fighting for the attention or to be appreciated or competing then... that is not a healthy situation.
I've learned that it being unhealthy doesn't mean the person is bad, it could simply mean, I'm doing too much. Sometimes you simply have to match the energy you've been hit with. If it's 10%, then 10%, especially if it's been happening a while because... What's the point of investing more than that? The other person is giving 10% of themselves regardless of how much you put in.
Don't overinvest. Time is your most expensive resource. Who you choose to spend it with is your most expensive gift. It's important to examine your company and determine how much energy is to be given into the relationship. Relationships change at times, over time, sometimes. Other times, it could simply be we did a lot more than was asked for, more than the other person is willing to do. The latter is a personal decision of choice on spending. I still believe in acts of kindness regardless of returns, but I also believe in spending my time with those who show up without me having to ask, beg, persuade them to. If they can end up in other places without being begged or persuaded, then most likely I'm not their first choice of time investment and... that's ok.
Take note of who shows up in your down times and up times. I saw a meme circulating on Instagram and Facebook that says "Be mindful of 3 people: Who helped you in difficult times, who put you in difficult times, who left you in difficult times." So far, I've learned this to simply mean, expect the unexpected. The people who knew most intimately about my relationship with my friend, how I felt about her being sick, how I feel about death, I haven't heard from them at all. Who I have heard from are from people who remember seeing us around, giving us a ride here and there, hung out with us once or twice, etc. Most of these people are not even people that I speak to very often or regular... and they've checked in multiple times since. This period of quiet in my life has given me a chance to regroup and refocus and reexamine my direction, my purpose and my energies.
1) People who are always with you no matter what happens to you
2) People who are with you only when you are happy (or celebration time)
3) People who are always with you when you are in need. These people give you emotional help. They are there with you days and nights when in need.
4) People who are always with you and want to see you regress (or downfall)
5) People who are praying for your downfall from behind you; You don’t see them. But they are watching you.
6) People who puts you in trouble. They are smarts who always know how to escape a situation to put you in the hot seat.
7) People who brings you out of trouble. These people differ from #3. They suggest you what to do and may also work with you to bring you out of trouble.
8) People who praise before you and bitch about you from behind. These are dual personality people who you would not even think tal bad about you. But shit happens.
9) People who always hates you no matter how nice you are to them. Dont know why but they are there.
10) People who think you are good and want to see you grow personally and professionally. They believe in you and they stand by you.
11) People who are role models for you in some categories of life.
12) People who use your relationship (with them) to get their work done. They neither like you nor hate you but you are a means to their end
Because someone doesn't call or check in though, doesn't mean that they don't love you. But it does mean that there's a fair chance that you're both approaching the friendship with different energies or perhaps they have major things going on in their life that they haven't shared with you. Whichever the case is, tell those you love that you love them often, see them or speak to them as often as you can with our busy adult lives, and show up if you can regardless because you never know who is feeling overwhelmed, alone or unloved...
"If I ain't going to get it, the day is going to waste"
-Big Sean, 'Sky Scrapers'
- @ Instagram - OfficialBadGyalDyDY
I overheard an interesting interaction recently between two people. One was asking the other why they continuously go to a particular place and consistently bring business there. The other person replied simply, "The more business I bring, the less I have to pay when I need stuff done."
It had me thinking that on one hand, that's smart. However, that's a great short term plan designed to keep you in the lane that requires a discount. Sure everyone likes discounts and freebies. On the flip side though, the time and effort it takes to recruit clients to a business or store just to secure a discount could be used for something else... like recruitment to your own business or dream.
That time and effort is an investment. Since the most expensive commodity that one can give is time, if you're dedicating it towards an investment... why not invest in yourself?
I thought about the conversation in terms of how I view my own life these days. Many moons ago, I had a friend named Chad (who's since passed away, God bless his soul), that tried to dispel this same knowledge onto me. He was very business driven and he'd always ask me, "Shellon, how much is one hour of your life worth?" At first, I did think it was conceited to think that way. Who am I to say I am worth X dollars per hour? I'm just a little island girl right? Let me keep my little backside quiet and work for my discount.
But as I interacted with him more and more, I understood what he meant, more so today, what he was trying to teach me. I remember once the topic of laundry came up and he told me he sends it to the laundromat. Of course, I protested. It's a simple task no? But then he explained, to send it to the laundromat takes him about $30 an hour, but in that same hour he could make $100. Should he then forfeit the $100 an hour his life is worth, for the $30? (keep in mind this was a long time ago and I don't remember all the exact figures but that was the rough message) In that hour, he still wins at success by securing $70 minimum. After applying that logic to my own life, even though I'm not in the position to make it as strict as he did (he was really focused by the time I met him and he worked for the things he accomplished - no hand outs), sometimes that hour you place the worth is actually minimum. There have been times when I may not have produced anything tangible art wise to sell, but I invested my time in planning and securing ideas that are worth more than my hourly rate. Meaning that some day, maybe, possibly, hopefully, that hourly value will increase. You will always gain something or learn something when you take time to invest in yourself. There are no losses. I'm not where I want to be, but I have faith I will get there.
If you invest in yourself, at some point, a discount would just be a nice plus, but it certainly won't be necessary. I've since decided to work hard towards my own goals, the way Chad did, so that in time, when I reap the benefits it'll be like a Big Sean song "...I started from the basement, made it to the sky scraper."
Even though Chad was actually only in my life for about a lil over a year from the point of meeting to his passing, he achieved every single goal he told me he had planned during that time frame from finances to education. He had a plan and worked his plan.
Do you have a plan for this 2016 on how you're going to conquer it?
As Chad always used to say, "I refuse to end where I started."
I'm back after taking a short hiatus to sort through my life. All of those reading this, this means you've made it into 2016. Welcome!
The latter part of 2015 was filled with mixed feelings for me. In the early part of the year, shortly after securing my new job, I lost a friend and past classmate, Anthony. Shortly after that, I lost another, Romero. Just as things were looking up, I lost another in December, Anton. Between all of these deaths, I was hit with a phone call that a very close friend now has stage 5 kidney disease and may need a transplant.
Suffice to say, 2015 represented the best of times and the worst of times sprinkled with lessons. Today is Anton's funeral. I have yet to reconcile his parting and often find myself browsing through his Facebook page looking at past photos and memories. It was this death that I realized how trivial Facebook was to some sorts. There was no point of posting "RIP" on his wall, or mine. To what avail? It wouldn't bring back my big little brother.
At the end of 2015, as I struggled to think of gifts for those close, I finally understood the fragility of life, the importance of prayer and the greatest gift you can give someone - that is time. All of the friends above mentioned, I had allowed life to get too busy and fall out of contact. I would peep here and there on Facebook to check in on their pages to see if all is well... but I failed to meet up and hang out or call. At least with Anthony, I saw him a little over 24 hours before his tragic accident... but still. You never know when it is going to be the last moment nor how unprepared you're going to be for it.
Throughout 2015, I met many folks speaking of God and spirituality and trying to get me into church. By the end of 2015, after all that trauma, I finally opened up to being receptive to prayer. I finally started seeing changes in my life. I made the effort to send a message to those close more often. My friend who's very sick, is thankfully, still alive. It's hard but with life there's hope and I'm eternally grateful of each day that myself, those that I love that come to mind immediately, and those that don't, are still here with me fighting the good fight.
Aside from all the deaths, there was much internal family turmoil. However, somehow, someway, it has all worked out. I've graduated from crying in the bathroom in my office from all my worries to quietly saying a prayer of thanks for life and protection of their spirit, wherever they are in the afterlife.
Despite all the tragedies that caught me off guard, I was privileged to be able to meet lots of wonderful people that helped shaped who I am and my experiences like the staff at the dive shop that became like family. The new family formed at my current workplace. The two little fluffy bundles that have entered my home (one is in the picture above).
I must say, getting the pups was a decision that I had to toy with for a bit since my past two had passed away. However, I must say, I have no regrets. There was one scare when my pup Snowie became very ill, very suddenly, but thankfully the vet was able to save her and she survived the ordeal. The two of them have brought great light into a dark period and have continued to be a source of happiness for everyone in my home, bringing great laughter and cheer from their many antics and strong personalities.
The funeral is happening as I type this; I'm at my desk in my office tearing up. I feel guilty for not going, but not sure if that's how I want to remember Anton. In December, one of my other little brothers from the group messaged me shortly after the death and told me that's what he'd like me to draw, Anton. I didn't know how to respond so I didn't. But I think that's what I'll do today in his memory. I think I'm finally ready.
And when I get home, I know those two bundles Amber Rose and Snowie (aka Snow Belle) will be there to topple me with love kisses and bites and remind me that despite all of this... it's ok and be thankful.
On a positive note, I am finally at a the proper starting point I desired to be with my art. In upcoming posts, I'll finally update you guys on what happened with my art while I was busy being too preoccupied with life to update here.
2016 is a wide open road full of endless possibilities, hope, change and opportunity to love. Plan well, act well. This is the year to get your dreams started if you haven't yet. My mom insists leap years are playgrounds for what you'd like to make it.
Let's make it a great one, if not for ourselves, then for those we've lost along the way in honour of them.
I got two puppies earlier this one. The brown pup is named Amber Rose and the white one is named Snowie. They're super cute and fluffy as you can see. These photos were taken on one of their earlier trips to the beach when they were still afraid of the water but in love with the sand. Since they discovered the sand, these two won't stop digging and trying to eat it. I have no idea what is truly so fascinating about the sand.
Here are the pics and a short video of them digging to China.
Advertorial
So folks, Christmas is coming and the struggle to find the perfect gift is upon us. I personally have changed my mind at least 5 times on gift ideas for the special people in my life. In fact, Liz from over at Sandals and Sunnies gives the most thoughtful gifts that I'm racking my brain as to what would be a truly special gift for her, as well as a few others that have been kind to me and brought sunshine into my life.
This year my gift ideas have been revolving around unique jewelry. I've been digging through the webosphere on Etsy, Pinterest, etc. looking for the most unique ideas and stumbled across this little gem. In my searching, I stumbled across the Emma Winston collection of floating jewelry.
Photo Credit: Emma Winston
Of course, as an artist, this instantly made it into my list of bookmarked gift ideas. It was the first time I saw these type of earrings made where it has the appearance of "floating." I've been granted the good fortune to be able to offer not only a giveaway on my blog BUT a 15% off discount to my readers (Promo code: AUDIENCE15OFF and you can click on my sidebar picture to go directly to the site).
Feel free to enter! You may win yourself a perfect gift for you or someone special in your life... and if you don't win, use my code to score any of your favourite pieces at a special discount!
*** Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post, however I did receive a discount for myself and my audience. All opinions are my own and not influenced in any way.
Thanks to everyone who took part in the giveaway! The winners have already been notified privately by the main host and received their prize. The two winners were Kristen S. and Joanne G.
My projects at work are finally picking up momentum and having me busy making sure everything is in order. In the midst of that has been bouts of sickness. I caught a bug going around locally that is like gastro or is gastro. I don't remember what the doc said but I do remember how miserable I felt, it being the worst tummy pain ever and how weak it made me after.
With that said, I have a few adventures to post soon.
I found myself scrolling through my Blog Lovin' feed and stumbled across a post about a young woman Megan that had a series of unfortunate events and decided to do her life long wish which was to visit the 7 wonders of the world. In less than a month she fell hiking in Yosemite National Park, got hit by a car and then got diagnosed with skin cancer. Despite life tossing those lemons like balls on a tennis court from the ball machine, she decided to do that dream she had been planning for the last 3 years. (Read more about the story here from the blog post I saw it on)
I've had such a plan too. There are times I've tried to figure out how to recruit friends to tag along. Other times I've reconciled I can go on my own. However, the one thing that stands true is that I intend to go. There's a website that is linked to called New7Wonders that has them all by cities, nature and of the world.
Turns out I have been blessed and fortunate to have ventured to a few of these far lands.
I've
been to Foz do Iguaçu. Where
and what is it? This is one of the world's largest waterfalls and one of the
7 wonders of nature. I believe 275 waterfalls make up Iguacu along the
Argentina and Brazil borders. The tallest is the "Devil's throat" at
80 m high. I had the privilege of being at a resort literally at the side of
the Devil's Throat. I was constantly serenaded by the sounds of the water
crashing in the pools below and being covered by the sprays of water if I
ventured to the railings. I also went on a tour in the river that took us under
the waterfall in a speedboat. Awesome memories. I loved Iguaçu. I
thought it was so beautiful. The hotel looked like a pink palace from the
outside... and on the inside it was very old fashioned with wooden floors, a
fireplace, old school door handles, etc.
By virtue of being born in Guyana, South America, I've been able to see and cross some of the rivers that originate in the heart of the Amazon. I've witnessed some of the wildlife and in the future...? I intend to venture into the depths of the forests as well.
And with regards to the 7 wonders of the world? I've seen, touched, and stood in front of Christ the Redeemer in Brazil.
My next bucketlist trip is the Tobago Cays.
For more pics and wonderfulness click here and here for the posts about those Brazil trips.
Where have you been so far? Where do you want to go next?
Hey everyone! Hope everyone's been doing awesome - it has been awhile - not intentionally though.
Since my last post, I've been busy planning my direction for my life. I became a certified scuba diver as of last Sunday. It's absolutely beautiful down there. My absolute favourite reef thus far is in Dragon Bay. Why? Well... It looks like clear defined patches of forest, except underwater. Being a Wildlife Conservation Biology major, and doing most of my research work to date in forests, I was enthralled and fascinated at seeing something that replicated it underwater. There's lots of tall sea plumes, corals and lovely fish in the little patches. There's also a small wreck nearby. Perhaps I'm a strange diver. As much as the fish and coral fascinate me, I find it far more interesting how each little community of corals is clearly separated by a bed of clean sand. It creates a sense of order and balance in my mind... or at least the illusion of it.
My Society6 store has finally started receiving sales. If you haven't peeked it yet, you probably should now. --- Shellon Art
To start, in case things look a bit different. I have Lizelle (Sher in my posts here) from Sandals & Sunnies helping me with some housekeeping and blog template tweaking get here looking like a loved place.
For the new year, I intend to be here more often so look forward to more regular posts. As per usual, my posts aren't clearly categorized as it tends to follow wherever my spirit goes. However, expect to see some travel posts *fingers crossed* and adventure posts. As well as a few of the art tutorial posts that I used to frequent here.
***
Even though I'm late, I'm still going to do a reflective piece of 2014. I strongly believe that last year I came significantly closer to getting on my path. They always say it's important to know what you want and don't want. As well as to go beyond your comfort zone.
My life took me to work briefly on a sailboat at the end of 2013 going into 2014. It was my first taste of being at sea, all day, everyday, surrounded by water entirely. There was a point where my fear was the ocean, but I can safely say that fear has diminished greatly and I keep pushing the boundaries of it. For the period of working on the boat, I had the amazing experience of being in the underwater sculpture park in the MPA (marine protected area) everyday. I got to see all the pretty fish swarm the boat as we arrived, waiting impatiently to see what goodies we brought for them. There was always a beautiful stingray that would come out and glide effortlessly over the coral almost every time we were there. I cannot even begin to express the sense of peace I felt being on the boat travelling between destinations, watching the sea look like an undulating dark blue blanket.
From there I was granted the opportunity to work with toddlers. I must say that if people think teenagers are difficult. I found being a high school teacher to be an easier task than managing toddlers. However, I found working with toddlers to be very fulfilling. I initially had reservations but in the end I learned so much about myself from these little ones. The way they see the world is so much simpler than us. Their midlife catastrophes stem from simple resolvable things like retrieving their favourite truck for them, or taking them to the beach to play in the sand. The special challenges I encountered required me to simplify my thought process and exercise patience. I had one precious darling of a boy that, at the time we didn't recognize it, had a language barrier. Thus, his disobedience stemmed from him not understanding what we were trying to teach him. I was able to work with him and an amazing 2 year old girl with an expansive vocabulary simultaneously, and before I knew it, he started saying little words in English. I can't find enough words to express how happy and excited I was at his progress. Also, collectively, being tods, they said and did the cutest, silliest things. There was one precious little boy that would steal raisins when he thought you weren't looking. Another that would whisper to you for his milk, so as to not alert the other kids and get his milk organized first. I had a little girl that was mesmerized by letters, numbers and books. She would always get a book and come ask me to read to her, and loved to play with the blocks with the letters so I could quiz her.
*sigh* the joys of children.
Then I decided to become an artist full-time but got offered a job at The Computer Store. That too was an interesting experience. I was blessed with the opportunity of learning to use software that appeared similar to Microsoft Access that I've never had reason to use since high school, a decade ago. I got to manage the database input for the service department and learn how to create purchase orders and the technical stuff for getting parts. Additionally, working in the service department meant working with the technicians, an amazing team of 2-3 guys. I learned so much from them about how computers worked internally software-wise as well as the internal parts of the computer. That's not to say that I can take apart and fix a problem, but I am now better at identifying the potential problem and suggesting a solution. I admire their patience to answer my many questions in trying to understand what and why they did certain things upon solving customer issues. That way, I could answer the preliminary questions from the customers without having to interrupt them while they were busy at work.
I then decided to become a full-time artist again, took part in the True Blue Bay Christmas bazaar and an exhibition at the Francis Gallery in Westerhall... and I got offered another job part-time at Dive Grenada. An offer that brought me back close to the sea, if not near it, on a regular basis. My soul feels at peace again. Plus, my days are flexible so I can still be a full-time artist.
I started the year, where I ended the previous one, by the sea.
***
With all that said, I was forced out of my comfort zone several times to see things about myself.
So my word for this year is, focus. I've learned last year that I can be good at any job I put my mind to... but I need to learn to tailor that inquisitive energy and focus it.
Hope everyone's year is off to a great start or at least started with some ideas on how to make this year greater than the last.
It was only recently I realized how easily music can bring me back to specific time and place with specific people. I've always heard my parents speak about it but I just assumed maybe I'm too young to have that much to look back on.
However, I realized something. How can I look back with music if everything is so present tense with what I listen to?
I proceeded to dig up my archives. I found my old Linkin Park, J.E.W., T.B.S., etc collections which brought me back to my teenage days and college days. I found that "When I grow up" song by the Pussycat Dolls that reminded me specifically of a trip to New York. "Bombs over Baghdad" by Outkast and "Raise up" by Petey Pablo reminds me of my last trip to Chicago when I was 16. My cousins and I had gone to an amusement park and one I the rides played Outkast on repeat.
Most recently, I visited Dominica and my friend was more up to date with current music than I. So now every time I hear certain songs, it transports me to a time and place of night escapades and adventures and car rides. Ahh yes... youth.
I remember when I first heard "Get free" by Major Lazer. It played at a rave she convinced me to go to and I remember it playing and asking her who it was and she looked at me incredulously. Needless to say, I killed this track when I visited her in Dominica.
And my title? Many a day of loud singing and giggles with Sherry in our late teens/early 20s strolling through town or dancing in my room.
Then there are specific Movado an Vybz Kartel songs from circa 2006-2007 that bring me back to when I first started seriously going to parties and now entering college. The beginning of my young adult experience.
It's amazing how vivid and transforming each memory attachment to these specific songs are. I guess now that I'm more open to the experience I shall be more aware of connections.
Believe it or not, there is a perfectly good explanation for me almost year long disappearance.
My laptop issues were at an all time high, that culminated in me simply not having access to one. Yes, I had bought my tablet with a keyboard over last summer but I could not find an app that allowed me to layout my posts in a uniform manner the way I try to do. There were limitations with basic edits, photo placements, watermarking, etc.
Then later on that same year I got an abscess on the center of my chest. I never knew how traumatic the doctor's office can be when you have an abscess nor how painful an experience it is. Although many thought I was exaggerating, that's the closest I've ever come to being afraid of dying. There's something about your doctor going "Oops.." when pumping a syringe of hydrogen peroxide into your chest when the tissue bursts and you can feel the burn shoot across your shoulder and the bubbles under the skin up your neck, that doesn't resonate with reassurance. Not to mention the emergency surgery that ensued. I was in so much pain that when the surgeon asked if to do a quick incision or give me anesthesia, all I could do was cry. The anesthesia didn't work earlier, what difference would it make now?
This was me after the first visit and had antibiotics pumped in.
The wound had a tiny piece of plastic that felt like a scapel slice each time it was reinserted after cleaning at the doc's office. This was to make sure everything drained out and that the wound heeled properly from the inside. Who ever knew what significance the center of your chest has until there's a tiny piece of plastic in it. When I went to bed, I had to stay in the position and not move. I walked hunched. Even breathing required conscious thought in certain positions because it was that painful.
How I look now, after surviving, rocking my scar with shades and lipstick.
But I'm grateful for the experience. It is in difficulty who see who will be around and who's genuine.
Plus, I worked on a boat, taught toddlers, had a co-exhibition, took a spontaneous trip to Dominica, fete the rest of summer and now.......I have access to a netbook again to resume posting again.
I shall be doing some posts on my trip, art, and other random tidbits past and present.
This year officially marks my presence on Earth for a quarter century.
***
Following photos are from my birth week..!
I got treated to sushi lunch...
Sushi and sashimi
First time having saki
Green tea ice cream
Went to dinner with my boyfriend at Rooftop... Food was yummy (but expensive), service was rush rush. I don't even think we got a chance to look at the menu properly.. *frown* Hence, I don't feel motivated to go back.
Mahi Mahi & shrimp creamy cheesy pasta...
Sher dropped by...
..with gifts of cake and a party popper thingy (that fortunate malfunctioned and didn't stream ribbons all over the office for me to clean up haha)
smiles!
Check out my new shorts from Sher! And my new hair! lol
Late this afternoon a friend of mine has been messaging me talking about an old casual youtube interview clip I did that was "ocean floor deep" when I was looking all cute, sad and angry. For the life of me, I could not figure out what he could possibly be talking about...
The only videos that I could remember are those I've posted myself - none of which have anything to do with any real sort of deep thinking, me going on screen all depressed or talking about forgiveness... and I don't ever recall being filmed like that either.
So... I did what anybody would've done - I youtubed what he said.
What do ya know? I clean forgot I had a personal paparazzi for the last couple years to play guinea pig on her camera. *cough* Sher *cough* But since she's been busy with classes, same as I, the random camera clicks have since ceased...
Here's the clip
And here's her new blog if you haven't been there yet... "She must be new"
How 'bout them apples huh? That's it for today's randomness.
As I approach my 25th birthday, I find myself realizing once more that while I'm making progress towards my bigger picture, I'm not quite at the check points I identified for myself when I was younger. What happened? Life happened.
I remember when I was a teenager feeling certain about everything while not wanting to admit that I felt like I knew it all and was mature. As I've become older, my perceptions of the world around me has changed, as have my goals and desires. The things I wanted at 20 are no no longer what I want at 24. This regard flows over into everything from what I look for in a relationship to what I want to do career wise... well almost anything, I still love to go on swings in a playground.
I've changed majors 5 times in essence. I completed my Associates in Arts & Humanities with the intention of becoming a lawyer and artist... but then I became a teacher and wanted to open a learning center and when I went back to school became a Business major. While knocking out electives for my Bach in NY, I encountered an amazing Biology professor and I switched degrees into a double with Biology & Psych. Then I transferred to SGU where (at the time) doing a double in both wasn't possible and a straight Biology degree was unavailable - only Life Sciences... So I switched into Liberal Arts with the desire of double majoring in Politics & English Language. Then I had an amazing Grenada Wildlife course and BAM! I was back doing Biology - this time Wildlife & Conservation Biology. I briefly switched into a double with Marine & Wildlife but ended up switching out so as to not extend my personal graduation deadline.
At the end, I have a whole collection of experiences and knowledge. I got up to 400 level courses in all subject areas believe it or not, just short of 3-4 courses to complete the cores for any particular field. At 171 credits going strong I believe hahahaha...
I still want to go into education, law and art. All of my experiences helped define what I wanted to do. Currently, the realm of wildlife biology encompasses all three and I'm well on my way to becoming an established artist (hopefully). My blog has been a testimony of those journey struggles of indecision to an extent as well.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm in no way advocating switching degrees multiple times nor am I saying that you will end up switching, if you do decide to pursue it's ok. And that you're going to find yourself making a lot of changes in your late teens-early 20s and that's fine. Your perceptions would change as you mature into adulthood.
I had a rather eventful weekend- an epic win and fail at the same time...
For some inexplicable reason I was a bit sad for the whole day Friday. I'm inclined to think that I'm still getting used to having classes on a Friday, coupled with the recent heat wave we've seemingly been having the last couple of days. After moping around campus I finally left and came to town and decided to make the best of my afternoon while I waited on confirmation of the night's events.
Funnily enough, I met up with Sher and we went to Jazz & Poetry upstairs the museum (1st Friday of every month). The Museum Bistro was also opened for service as advertised on this month's Jazz & Poetry flyer. Why is this a "funnily enough" moment? It is because this is the first time I've been to the event for the year. I've been hiding and scheming to avoid performing as sadly... I haven't really written that many fresh pieces for the year as I've been more caught up with trying to get my art off the ground. And having been one of the regular performers from last year, I feel somewhat guilty about going to the event and not performing.
This time I made it to the event, all happy and inspired to perform and participate in the event. The piece I wanted to perform was a piece I wrote a long while back about someone dear to me at a point in time when our relationship was very dramatic. Now, the piece ironically is as is and still relevant. It's not a love poem but a happy poem about being in love perhaps? And normally I perform according to which of my pieces speak to me, as that would also be the piece I could immerse myself in best and fall into character.
What ended up happening? Sher and I made it to the event. Neither of us performed. Algie wasn't there so the show took a different path than it usually does - good nuntheless just different. Algie normally would host and call the performers onto the stage once he's well aware of your capabilities to perform well - hence why I went into hiding and I didn't want to perform unless I was up to my par.
The night was still just as fun though. I've been bouncing into lots of old friends these days. Friday night... Eamon randomly popped up to collect his phone from Cemal, who also I didn't expect to see. Then Richie surprise visited with his cousin after work. Russel and his belle dropped by too, haven't seen him since earlier up this summer. A couple of Sher's friends that I met from previous excursions dropped by as well... Thus, it was an adventure.
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Sitting by the Museum Bistro
Sher decided to be a girly girl for once, decked out in a flouncy skirt.
Richie finally got around to peek-see the event since he's also a poet/musician.
I left Sher's friend with my camera and she ran around taking shots of everyone, whether they were paying mind or not.
So the heart of Sher and Eamon's relationship lies with an onslaught of insults as greetings and such --- this is how their love. Thus, a "let's hug" photo is not unlikely since they are friends but a mean mugging shot is more possible...
Eamon n Sher. Mind you, this was the second time I've seen this dude over the entire summer! And it's fortunate we ran into each other 'cuz he flew back out already...smh
Kevin & Russel (Russel is the Russo from earlier posts). Now, Kevin is Richie's cousin. Richie is among a few close friends that calls me 'Shells' so he introduced me as much subconsciously without thought. His cousin in turn called me by my right name and said that he knows me from school. Now it's easy for me to timeline people because very few people call me by my right name today as 'Shelli' is easier to remember and pronounce. Turns out we went to kindergarten together. Small world huh?
Cemal a.k.a Shamz (if you've read my earlier posts)
Then it was time to leave the Museum Bistro. How'd we realize this? One of the caretakers came and showed us where the light switches were along with instructions on how to padlock the gate properly... It was only then that we took the time to look around and see that not only was the restaurant locked up but so was the room where Jazz & Poetry gets hosted. Naturally, who wants the responsibility of locking up a property that isn't theirs? The group of us started walking out to meet the tunnel and head to town to catch a bus.
Upon which we discovered there's a new Blackberry and Android store in town downstairs Bruce St. Mall.
Avi, Eamon & Shamz
Sher and I slightly perturbed at not getting the perfect shots we wanted.
The shots we wanted were by the clock directly in front of the Esplanade Mall. It was the perfect time, hardly any college kids sitting around with their large groups chattering excitedly. No one sitting by the clock either, just a few empty vodka bottles to kick out of the frames... And what happened was, we asked Cemal to take the photos but he decided to get creative with lighting and failed to capture the whole structure in the frame. Instead, we had a series of (mind you, beautifully taken) half shots that were difficult to place at location.
Where are those photos you ask? I lost them. My memory card had an error upon direct insertion into my laptop. I circumvented that using the usb cord only to fail to realize that all the photos did not transfer, although the laptop said it did, prior to permanently deleting the files off the card...because for some strange reason I decided to clear up my memory for the first time in ages.
This is as good as it got with Sher's iPad...sigh
Don't ask me when this happened...
And then Saturday night, Sher and I got bored and decided to dress up pretty and head to umbrellas. Sher lost one side of a pair of earrings that I gave her for her birthday before I even got to town. So she was sulky... When we got to Umbrellas the service was the fastest ever --- I think we got served within 10 minutes of our order. But the food was sub-par to what we're accustomed to, but ok nuntheless.
Upon leaving Umbrellas, we heard music coming from the SGU campus and decided to take our fastness and go see. We made it all the way into the yoga gazebo area only to realize that the party wasn't on campus but on the other side of the fence. Despair not, we had fun taking shots as I doubt we'd be willingly walking all the way back on SGU Grand Anse campus just for fun...
Myself
Sher
And then we got stranded in town... We took the chance as Bingo was happening at the stadium, therefore buses must run late right? Correct. However, it's more of a matter of when will the buses leave than it is whether you'd get one - it took Sherry until minutes to 2 in the morning to get home.
Posed off in front of the stadium waiting patiently...
Welcome to my little piece of the blogosphere. I'm a Caribbean artist/ wildlife conservationist/ adventure enthusiast. Hope my blog brings a bit of sunshine into your life.
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