I know I promised a post... I know I promised myself an awesome post... BUT I got caught up painting and I've been super tired. I had two Biology quizzes (Monday and today), a Political Science exam (yesterday), and a Business exam coming up on Friday. It's been hectic...
However, I will make a special concerted effort to write my post that I wanted to do today, tomorrow before the ideas leave my mind.
Oh. I found the most blissful song by Dido. It's called 'See you when you're 40'. I shall post the lyrics and the video at the end of this post, if you're so interested in hearing/reading the lyrics. It's calming and self-explanatory. It's one of those post-event songs where she realizes and sees for the first time all the real flaws that existed, without the hopeful glasses altering her vision.
It made me smile. Dido was tonight's inspirational painting music.
My progress thus far...
At the end, it's going to be two lily flowers in a pond/swamp. The motivation for this piece is based on some ideas I've been posting recently, ie, life is but a swamp with lilies. Or rather, we should aspire to be like lilies in this life. A lily grows despite the ugliness that surrounds it and blossoms into a beautiful flower. We too, like the lily, should make an effort to not bend to the world's evil ways, and strive to be good, and blossom like the lily despite the adversities faced on this journey.
This piece has been taking longer than expected. I started it over the weekend, and I didn't like how it was coming out. However, for the mere fact that I'm doing it on canvas, and I don't want to "waste" a whole canvas sheet... I decided to slow down and take my time. It's not a race...right?
When finished it's going to be my largest oil painting thus far (18 x 24) and also my first painting, oil or acrylic, on canvas since I've been in the States. I have a few oil pieces on canva-paper... and I've been trying to make a special effort to diligently upload pics of my work.
Well, before this post becomes much longer than initially intended and its length registers in my brain... and I start to rationalize typing my original post at this ridiculous hour... I shall depart.
Muah. G'nite NY & Grenada... and where ever else my readers are from. Shelli out.
"See you when you're 40" Dido
I've driven round in circles for three hours It was bound to happen that I'd end up at your I temporarily forgot there's better days to come I thought that I would give it just one more chance
Cos' I want, tonight, what I've been waiting for But I found, tonight, what I'd been warned about
You think that you are complicated, deep mystery to all Well it's taken me a while to see, you're not so special All energy no meaning, with a lot of words So paper thin that one real feeling, could knock you down
And I've seen, tonight, what I'd been warned about I'm gonna leave, tonight, before I change my mind
So see me when your 40, lost and all alone being comforted by strangers you'll never need to know not sad because you lost me but sad because you thought it was cool to be sad
You think misery will make you stand apart from the crowd well if you had walked past me today I wouldn't have picked you out I wouldn't have picked you out
now I've seen, tonight, how I could waste my time and I'll be on my way, and I won't be back cos I've seen, tonight, what I've been warned about your just a boy, not a man, and I'm not coming back
I had an interesting idea posed to me today by my aunt. I'm not sure why I won't let it go, or why it seems important to me or not.
It seems as if she has very fixed ideas on what is Christian and what isn't.
First of all, every person suits a purpose in the balance of society. Each job is important - I guess not the murderers and thieves (but that's a different story... I think they indicate where the role of society is not functioning properly).
The issue was whether or not models are immoral.
Back home, I was a model. At no point did model ever equate immoral, ungodly slut in my mind. I knew lots of models who were intelligent girls/guys on the straight and narrow with real goals and admirable accomplishments under their belts. And, if they desired to be a full-time model, I didn't see a problem with that either.
Now, this isn't going to be the most in depth, intellectual discussion... but here goes... read on if you may...
a standard or example for imitation or comparison.
2.
a representation, generally in miniature, to show the construction or appearance of something.
3.
an image in clay, wax, or the like, to be reproduced in more durable material.
4.
a person or thing that serves as a subject for an artist, sculptor, writer, etc.
5.
a person whose profession is posing for artists or photographers.
6.
a person employed to wear clothing or pose with a product for purposes of display and advertising.
A model is a set example or standard for imitation or comparison purposes. The issue was related towards people models... so we're talking of models for clothes, commercials, magazines, all sorts of products, all shapes and such. All of these people are bad...?
Ok, I'm not arguing fairly. She was questioning female models who advertised clothing or wore very little in commercials. I agree to some extent some models may appear to have questionable characters due to the nature of the photo shot and who its for - but that is not for me to judge. However, I do not agree that clothes models, e.g, those who model for Victoria Secrets because they model lingerie makes them immoral. People like to see how things look on other people. Despite how much we wouldn't want to admit it, we are a monkey see monkey do nation.
George Carlin made a point in one of his stand-up shows that the Commandment "Though shalt not covet thy neighbours goods" (...? I'm not sure I quoted this properly.. feel free to correct me...) that that is hardly a valid commandment. (Remember this was in good humour people) He said that coveting is what gets the economy going, i.e, you see your neighbour's car - you like how it looks, drives, economics with gas, perfect - BAM - you want it too.
I agree. These models aren't modelling for the sakes of having people lust behind their bodies. The fashion industry desires to reflect fashion ideals, which have been going in cycles. Thus, "slutty clothing" was "cool" in society's "conservative" existence decades ago. Mini skirts, poom poom shorts/hot pants, crop tops, etc these aren't new concepts. My mom and aunts all wore mini skirts "back in their days" which was a long time ago. Does that make them a slut? No it doesn't. Not in the least. They wore heels too... *gasp* prostitutes wear heels... do you think...?
no... I really don't.
Back to my example, the purpose of Victoria Secret models modelling the season's line is not to have people lusting after their bodies - it is to show how the clothes look on real people. Not just a mannequin or on a clothes hanger.
Based on my little knowledge on the industry, I'm aware that there are even plus size models. Why would you get plus size models and not just buy/make a bigger mannequin...? Because people like to see other people wearing/doing things suited to their character/lifestyles/tastes. God doesn't necessarily enter at this level. This is mere business.
Furthermore, I enquired about Miss World competitions and such... she said that she wouldn't let her daughter do it because, again, it's not moral to reveal so much of your body.
Now, thousands of girls, if not millions, enter competitions from the local levels go right up - applying from the most conservative nations to the most liberal ones with full advertance of the nature of the show. Does it make them immoral to wear bikinis on live televison? Does it make me immoral to wear a bikini on the beach? No.
These competitions on face value stand for with very high standards. I remember the at the local level all the rules regarding whether you're allowed to enter the pagent - must be of a certain age group, never married, never had children, etc. When one wins, you're in a position to advocate some great change in the world. Whether or not you choose to make a moral contribution is dependent on the individual - you can't condemn the entire pagent for it.
I'm not sure if that makes any sense...
If one is dressing conservative, but by night isn't behaving very conservatively with multiples of multiples... then does that mean they are morally correct?
So that brings me back to what I was talking about last post... who's to judge? Sin is sin... and since we are all sinners, we should all be the poster children of advocating positive change and inspiring those around is to better as opposed to looking at something and knocking it as irrationally bad.
Also, you can't not support something and support it at the same time. You can't want to look at the models in the magazines and see whats in fashion, and argue that the girls are misrepresenting their characters. Likewise, the commercials and such.
Don't half-support it in the smarts...
And again, if you feel so strongly about an issue. Not because you are but one means change can't happen... It's only takes one extra to make an even number odd, one extra/less chromosome to bring about deformities, one act of kindness to bring forth and inspire multiple acts... just one.
I implore, be the change that you wish to see in the world.
Listen to those who question your beliefs, because they help to do two things - show you the flaws in your thinking, or strengthen your beliefs, or even more.
I've lost my train of thought again...
All in all I conclude, I doubt it's really modelling that is bad. As I read once when I wrote a post on GaiaOnline against the content on television, the media is merely a reflection of what society is - it isn't what cultivates it. It's not just modelling, it could be being a lawyer, a doctor, an artist, a teacher, a Christian.... it could be anything. There are always going to be a few bad ones amongst the set, but you shouldn't condemn it in its entirety because of the stereotype...
Because if we were to sit down and really check it... we all fall into some stereotype at one point or another.
In Boy A, Jack is Boy A. At the age of 14 he was sentenced to jail for being an accomplice to a murder of a little girl.
The story starts when he is released from prison. His mentor/parole officer/social worker helps to create a new life for him in a different city.
He gets a job, makes new friends, gets a girlfriend... experiments with drinking and drugs. Mind you, he's seeing things through the eyes of practically a teenager as he missed out experience the "come of age" period whilst in jail. Almost everything is a wonder for him in the beginning... and then he gets into life.
During the time spent in the city, he manages to rescue a little girl in a car accident about the same age that was murdered. He also saves his friend from getting attacked and seriously injured from these two HUGE men.
He suffers from internal debates as to whether to tell his gf and best friend the truth about his past, as opposed to the version his officer advised him to do. However, because of the level of passion of the families vengeance and anger, the officer implores and discourages him from doing so.. no one must know he's here or who he really is/was. Later, a 20 grand bounty is placed for his murder. The newspapers did a "future/how he should look now" picture... and his past just kept following him round like a bad habit.
The tagline of the movie is : "Who decides who gets a second chance?"
Now the above explains the storyline... And when you put all the elements together, it's gripping. Atleast to me.
The movie is expressed so delicately... that everything about it seems so fragile. Throughout, there are a series of flashbacks that explains who Jack was prior to his re-invention as a boy and how he got there.
As a boy, he lived a very wounded existence. His father had no time for him, and his mother was dying of cancer and too caught up with herself to care about raising a son. Thus, he was alone. Neither of his parents were willing to give him a listening ear, and later on, they didn't really fight to keep their son out of prison either.
He was bullied and beaten up daily by his classmates... and with having to deal with all his difficulties, he could hardly focus on anything school related whilst in class. He eventually meets his best, and only friend, Phillip. Phillip is a very angry, abused lost soul as well. He was sexually raped/molested by his older brother repeatedly... and gets very violent and defensive in situations outside of the sexual abuse. I assume, since he can't stop his brother, he figures he could at least control what happens to himself outside of it and protect those he cares about.
His violence is seen in how quickly his anger flairs with protecting Jack (aka Eric) and later on with the eel/snake/fish (whatever it was).
The little girl, was a classmate of Eric's. She sits at the same table... the two boys caught her making out with an older boy on the lawn...in the bush... However, they care very little, and were sharpening a knife, I guess for their next fishing expedition.
She appears and questions what they're doing... Eric defends their actions in a gentle way... after all, they're just doing little boy things. She then insults him and Phillip, calling them spastic and worthless. Phillip gets upset and slashes her hand to make her stop.... she says basically he's unimportant and no one cares about him and she will tell her father... and Phillip becomes enraged, to me, more by what she's saying about him than about her going to complain to his father, and starts to slash her more and they tumble their way downhill where the fight and screams continues. Eric watches helplessly, uncertain what to do... How the flashback is told, very little is revealed about how much of a contribution he makes to the murder beyond not stopping it... But I believe he didn't want to disappoint his only friend regardless of what he did/didn't do.
The movie in no way, makes less of the murder. It is gruesome and it is not right. However, it paints a sympathetic tale of the young boys and their state of mind.
Phillip "killed himself"... but in reality, he was murdered. Eric knew this, but no one would believe him or care even if he explained it.
Like I said... his past follows him around like a bad habit. His officer works so hard to keep Jack's fragile life afloat, up until his jealous depressive bum of a son appears. The son then sets out, maliciously reveals Jack's identity and sits back and watches smirking as Jack's life falls apart.
Jack's best friend turns his back on him.. He gets fired from his job... and his gf refuses to see him.. the officer's son hides the officer's cellphone so Jack can't get in contact with him... and the media is at his door.
The fragile soul escapes through a window in his roof, walks the train tracks to the station and catches a train. He meets his gf there where she says "she would've forgiven him... in time" had he told her the truth... He leaves parting messages on everyone's phone and kills himself.
Now, who decides who deserves a second chance?
Like I was telling Russel, people don't run to bring in psychologists into the courtroom because we don't want to know what factors really led up to the crime. Hell, we don't even want to know why the criminal did what they did - unless its on some grandeur level that the media gets a hold of and it becomes a curious spectacle. What we want to do is judge the crime and put the criminals behind bars, where they belong. *evil laughter* We'd make them stay there forever if we could... because once you hit prison, no matter what you don't come back better, unless Jesus finds you there.
Ok... right.
End sarcasm.
So... what happens to these people after their time is up? We didn't care that much for their backgrounds, so we don't have that much to work with... do we even really want to rehabilitate them?
This movie shows all this. It brings up all of these issues surrounding such a touchy subject. It's not advocating that murder is an ok crime, nor am I. But it is also saying, who are we to judge? What gives us that right?
We are humans... A religious society supposedly - be it Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, etc... We're supposed to be striving towards being better people. Not striving towards being better people with some exceptions to the rule. This being one of them. We're supposed to want to help fix each other, make each other whole... and yet we wonder why there are so many divisions in such an individualistic society where no one really wants to help anyone without some direct benefit.
---
The little boys parents, didn't give a hoot hoot about them. They had to fend for themselves, teach themselves what they know, and all they had was each other.
It wasn't right, the way they were bullied as kids by their peers. And I'm sure those kids didn't mean to bully them either - it's what they know. They are the products of a mean vicious society. Kids aren't born inherently evil, and even if they are, it's society from family to school to the community they live in that shapes it.
The officer's son is a bum. He's depressive and living a half existence... However, from the snippets being said, he was hardly given that much attention and he's trying to offer an olive branch and actually have a real father-son relationship. Again, you don't approve of what he does... but you understand the hurt he feels and why he did it.
Even his teacher... I don't remember ever picking on my students like that. And if I did, I'm sure I tried to speak to them afterward or find out more about what's causing them to behave like that... I only remember once or twice every really getting upset with my kids... but they're children.. and you never know what impact your words and actions may have on their lives. I wonder how she would feel knowing his story, why he never knew his work, the opportunity she had as an adult to be a positive influence in his life, and how she closed and padlocked that door shut.
The little girl was incredibly mean, especially for her age. I wanted to slap her and tell her have some respect. She was hardly a saint... just like all of these people in the movie.
No man or woman is a saint. We are all sinners.. so because we haven't been tried before a court jury and judge does that make us less of a sinner? Does it make our sins that much acceptable? Why? Sin is sin.
Knowing this... one should be able to forgive and let go. If you could forgive yourself for your sins, and your friends and family for theirs... why not other people?
Since we've established we're not perfect. Why can't we not work towards being better human beings... actually helping our fellow man/woman... do what the "scriptures" say... even if you are just one person, like Ghandi says, "Be the change you wish to see in the world"... or Smoochie in Death to Smoochie, "I can't change the world, but atleast I could make a little dent..."
All these collective dents bring about change... unless that is the real issue. We liked this crazy existence just the way it is? We don't really want to change it. We just want to keep it for dinner conversation and depressing newscasts headlines and newspapers. We like to pity ourselves. Damn depressives.
---
So... taking this all in.
This boy leaves prison at age 24, hoping for a second chance at life. After living a practically deemed worthless existence void of a parent's love, love of your peers, appreciation from society, etc etc. He reacted the way anyone would having been through those things during those tender years.
He's trying to make up for what he did. Who knows the wealth of positivity and change he could offer to the world? He could end up helping rehabilitate juvenille murderers... re-shape their thinking and make them proper, better human beings. He saved one girl's life. He saved his friend's life. He became a hero of sorts.... but he killed someone once. And that is all we see or care about.
We don't care about the change and effort he's making. We don't care about the potential of positive influence. We want him dead and out of our lives.. that wicked wicked boy.
In the end, he kills himself. It leaves you feeling everything but happy. It leaves your soul drenched in an inexplicable sadness with a complexed moral...
I stumbled across this song a couple minutes ago.... I think it poses a nice question to humanity and where would we be willing to draw the line with prejudice?
When I was back home, going to college, I was a member of the drama club. One of the poignant things that always stood out was some ideas that Mr. Amen always tried to get across to us. Mind you, in some ways, they weren't articulated properly.... but it was communicated in a way that you have some understanding of the message. It was also something that, ultimately, you need to quest for yourself.
Anyways... we, as humans, have gotten caught up in trivial-made-important matters. We're making trivial things major issues, which is preventing us from actually solving the worlds' problems. At the core, we all have red blood being pumped through our veins... and in dire desperate situations, when the strings that hold us pull us closer, we see this and look beyond the skin colour, the money, the gender, the sexuality, whatever...
If only we manage to keep this up for longer than a dire situation?
Look at Dark Knight for example... (at least I hope it was in Dark Knight)
The Joker put two bombs on two boats trapped with people. He was counting on one boat to rush and detonate the other before the other party detonates them. One boat filled with prisoners, the other filled with ordinary citizens. Despite the obvious reasons why you would think to blow up the boat of prisoners... or to blow up the citizens... neither party did.
They recognized we're all human... no matter what... and furthermore, who gives us the right to judge or the right to take the life of another on the mere basis of what we think : be it our opinions, biases, so forth...
Ok, I believe I lost my train of thought. I forgot what I was trying to illustrate...
***
Anyways, the song poses two situations... Firstly, a member of the KKK many years down the line needing a liver, the only available one is from a black person. Does he still care about skin colour? Would this stop him from accepting the transplant?
And secondly, a poor black youth growing up in Jamaica where they are particularly homophobic, ends up in a shoot out and his friends drive off and leave him lying by the road side bleeding and a homosexual sees him and takes him to the hospital. Does he care about the sexuality of his saviour?
Where do you draw the line? Do you still care about these minor technicalities? Are they still issues?
***
Shelli out for now..
I have some other things to post about.. perhaps I shall do that later on this evening.
Welcome to my little piece of the blogosphere. I'm a Caribbean artist/ wildlife conservationist/ adventure enthusiast. Hope my blog brings a bit of sunshine into your life.
