Tiny Little Fractures

By 11:35 PM
Gee whiz, it's Christmas.

~~~

Christmas officially less than 20 minutes away and i quite can't decide if it feels like Christmas or not. We didn't put up a tree this year. It wasn't intentional, it's just that the cleaning took longer than usual due to impromptu trips and dengue-like flu.

I made a list. I bought went shopping and bought gifts. Wrapped it. Went to a party. Helped to clean the house and put up new curtains. But i don't know... hmm...

We're stuffing the chicken tomorrow...
Yummy.

~~~

Merry Christmas everybody.

~~~

When everything is wrong
we move along.
-All-American Rejects

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You live your life, you live like an island.

By 10:58 PM ,
I saw the most delightful film tonight, 'Crash'. Not in its entirety unfortunately, but sufficient enough to recognize it's poignance.

Two of the issues that I feel most passionately about are that of racism and discrimination. This movie encompasses these issues in such a manner than if i find it impossible for the coldest person to leave not having been touched, atleast a little.

Prior to watching it i heard several reviews that didn't seem to work in its favour. The movie sounded like a series of random events that lacked direction and purpose.

Au contraire. The movie makes plenty of sense. The end ties up all loose ends, with a pinch of life's cruel irony, and a dash of the harsh reality and truth.

It breaks the barriers of stereotyping, racial classification, and cultural biases. At the end of the day, when it counts we can't hide behind those. We're all common on the inside... with a common conscience and that annoying thing called humanity.

At the end of it all... i believe it just says 'try humanity for a change'.

~~~

I got into several arguments during the course of the movie... One of which went something like "thats all fine and dandy, so long as it doesn't affect me".

What is that supposed to mean?! "So long as it doesn't affect me". Little Black Book covered this whole issue of lives being a spectacle. Often in today's society people complain about how impersonal the world is becoming, how unneighbourly we are as a people, how inhumane we can be as a nation. Yet, you find that these same people do nothing to make it less impersonal, more humane, more neighbourly. Everyone is too absorbed in their own lives and problems to bother with another beyond the mere gossip and speculation level because it doesn't affect them directly. We can turn on the tv, probably feel a twinge of sadness at the news, then turn off the screen and sleep soundly.

In LBB, it made the point that we all like to spectate on someone else's life for entertainment and then leave and continue merrily with our own lives... but in a single instance that should the odds have the situation reversed and you're the spectacle, we demand that people understand and sympathize and empathize... quickly forgetting that we were part of that uncaring, untouched, unaffected group.

In Crash, another argument i found myself hearing that 'i'm being idealistic and that is the real world... don't be foolish'.

That is the real world because we make it that way. We created these problems, these stereotypes, these different phobias... and now that it's blown into something far greater than we can handle we remove our hands from the pot, sit back and point fingers of responsibility other than ourselves. I'm sorry but i don't believe shooting the hitchhiker was justified because you thought he was going to kill you due to paranoia. The conversation was easy going, now because of a stereotype and racial classification you suddenly feel threatened and decide to shoot the person in self defense. SELF DEFENSE is only a defense when reasonable force is used to protect oneself. That, my dear, is unreasonable in my book. Furthermore, if you felt so threatened, why pick the hitchhiker up to begin with. If we went around killing everyone on a mere whim of feeling slightly threatened and felt justified... where's the justice in those innocently killed? Furthermore, one might argue that indeed the hitchhiker was a bad person. He stole, he hustled, he had a gun. BUT he had an epiphany, one that every human is entitled to... one that i believe every human stumbles upon at some point in their life... one that enables change. He recognized his demerits and decided to turn his life around... Who knows what could've happened? We'll never know, because he was killed.

Good things have come from people with not so great beginnings and ambitions... as one of the calypso/comedians (i can't remember who exactly) artists from the show at the Trade Center said last night - he came from the ghetto and look where he is. Not everyone fell from the lucky true and landed on the road to rightness every branch down. Not everyone had the right people guiding them into the right paths... To pass judgement is not fair.

Furthermore, my stance on the subject is to beg to differ with those who merely want to blow hot air on the integral issues with the world. They're wasting oxygen to discuss the issue with such indifference. By such you absolve all rights to speak of the problem if you can't be part of the solution or offer one... One cannot exist here on earth as if by oneself.

P.S. as a last note on the movie talk... while it is true that I live in the Caribbean and am not directly exposed to racism to the extent portrayed in the movie, one cannot delude oneself into believing that it does not exist. Being ignorant about the matter doesn't mean that as a black person you won't get a D.W.B.(driving while black) somewhere else, or as an indian person you won't be stereotyped and classified automatically as a muslim terrorist, or being a jew, etc etc etc... Ignorance is not an excuse that shall protect from the harsh reality.. Nor does it aid in you helping fix the problem.

*sigh* maybe i am being idealistic...
Just watch the movie.
It's good.

~~~

You can't change the world, but atleast you can make a little dent.
-Death to Smoochie (awesome movie)

Change your thoughts, change the world.

Shelli out.

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And i think about the waiting, and the people we are fading into...

By 2:20 PM
you want to be dressed in poetry
but imagery doesn’t fit
and you want resizing
but darling dear get a grip
-'Lyrical Lies' Cute Is What We Aim For

So its been yet another long while since i've posted. Gee... i realize how ambitious i was to actually think i could manage like 6 blogs simultaneously. The group blog hasn't even picked up since there has been a minor chink in our plans... a strangely unforeseeable...unrealistic... ok, we're busy. Liz is busy with work. I'm busy with work. Shamz is on the hunt. Rus is about to start.

I remember back in college, i used to be tired... but THAT tiredness compared to THIS tiredness. It's like the complete feeling of being drained emotionally, physically, mentally... in every sense. In order to string two words together to form a phrase, much less a sentence, requires deep contemplation as to whether it's worth the energy to open your mouth an articulate... because it's going to take up just that much more effort. In addition, during that period your brain is cursing you, going "PLEASE NO... not more... i can't do it...!!"

Then after a while you begin to ramble incoherently, picking words out at random as they flicker across in your brain engaged in their own little mind games. Soon you can't even remember what you're talking about... and then before you know it, you hear the alarm and open one eye as you reach absently to turn off the annoyance, only to realize... it's morning. You don't even REMEMBER falling asleep in bed, much less how you got there... furthermore any conversations with anyone.

This whole working experience taught me that i lie in my sleep. I'm currently hoping to do over an exam and do it better... Thus, since during the night nothing could wake me up after i've fallen asleep, i've resorted to asking Ru to wake me. Apparently one night, he called and instructed me to get up and go study and do the thing for Listra... BUT i didn't. I told him in my sleepy state i already did everything and i don't have to get up anymore. I lied. I don't even remember that conversation.

Hmm... so what do i think about my job? Sometimes i love it, sometimes i don't. I'm often torn between being the nice teacher and being the mean teacher.. I mean, you want your students to like you but at the same time, they shouldn't think they could have their own way.

My mark scheme for this semester was 80% for their individual work, 20% for their group project. I extended the deadline 3-4 weeks for the individual work.. and about 3 weeks for the project. The majority handed up ATLEAST one out of the two individual pieces. Then even less handed up the group projects... I was left to decide whether to just forget about the group project or take the marks... The students who DID do the project took time and effort to finish it so that they could get a grade... Whereas those who didn't, didn't make an effort at all. By forgetting about the project was like punishing those who did it and rewarding those who didn't... i reluctantly took the marks... many got zeros... many didn't pass.. I felt awful. I feel awful.

~~~

Ru got a job. Awesomeness.
Liz's job seems to have settled on one location.. she's happy. Awesomeness.

~~~

"Wind in time rapes the flower trembling on the vine"
-Gregory
i just love this screen name of his...
like saying that eventually we all hurt pretty things and
people we love atleast once... no matter how innocuous

~~~

You want to be dressed in poetry.. but imagery doesn't fit
Shelli out.

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Nothing like getting your daily fix to make you feel better...

By 3:53 PM
I LOVE POSTSECRET!!

I mean, everyone... and when i say everyone, i mean EVERYONE should stumble across that little wonderful website atleast once..

Every Sunday, i jokingly tell whomever i'm on the phone with that i'm going to get my weekly fix and that "there's nothing liking reading over people's secrets to kick off my week on a good note". That's just me.

The site has an array of secrets... all anonymous and all genuine. Some simply hilarious, others incredibly sad.. and some downright silly.

You never know... some random day you could be caught up in some emotion and wondering if you're the only one who feels like that (not limited to depression.. you could be extremely happy as well... or just mellow, etc) and go there and find a secret you can almost completely identify with.

I don't know... i can't explain it better...

Just check it out.

Post Secret

~~~

i'm still sick. *sniff sniff tear tear*

Panadol tablets taste awful. They're wicked strong, but i can't tell if that's to say they work well yet... just that they succeed in putting me in handicap.

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khabi kuchi .... khabi gham

By 5:51 PM
(sometimes happy, sometimes sad)



WOW... Did anyone see this coming?


I mean... i found out a couple days ago, from AIM.com (homepage) i believe... But i couldn't believe my eyes... REESE AND RYAN?!!!

*gets down on knees* God i was joking about them getting divorced those years ago!! Please get them back together...!!

*stammers* i still don't understand... i mean, i was in love with Ryan when i was 11... BUT i didn't REALLY want Reese and Ryan to get a divorce some odd years later. They make the most adorable couple... I held them up highly in the book of 'Actual Hollywood Role Models' and 'Successful marriages (in Hollywood and the real world)'... And now they're getting divorced?

~~~

Britney gets a divorce. *sigh*

Am i shocked?

I believe the question is... do i care?

In my little world, Britney has fallen from grace a long time ago... and has a long walk ahead to be redeemed. This, however, does not mean i do not like her music (for i secretly own all her albums). It simply means i am not a fan of her character.

I really do wish her all the luck with whatever redemption plans she has... do protect the children :P. I pray that another repeat of what happened to her first son doesn't happen to her other son. (ie, being changed by the cashier on a departmental store floor; driving with the baby in her lap; nearly dropping the child) Just google it...



~~~

Anyways... moving along.

Teaching is finally becoming fun. I adore my students... They bring me such delight. ^^* (no seriously).

However.. i'm sick.

Dawn just said "do what your body tells you".
My body is more confusing than the conscious parts of my brain. I'm sick enough to feel weak and get dizzy spells and have an aching throat from all my coughing... Yet not sick enough to NOT be able to walk to go to classes... Sick enough to get very weary from projecting my voice. Yet not sick enough to will myself to project my voice and deal with the consequences after...

I don't know.

~~~

I'm going to go nap.

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Looking back, we stop and think.

By 11:48 PM
Liz got a job. *clasps hands gleefully*

She shall be doing something close enough (for now) to what she would have preferred to be doing - teaching a primary school (rather than a secondary school). I'm thrilled for her... because now - we like, have a job. And like, we can like, buy stuff.
*smile*

Today Shamz, Liz and I went out to celebrate the moment. OMG she looked adorable ^^*. She got her hair done and everything.

We bought chicken. Sat on the benches in Camahogne park like a couple of college kids backpacking across some continent. Just there huddled on the bench chatting away. Liz brought a dress wrap that was converted to a makeshift blanket. Then Shamz and I wanted more chicken and there was a divine intervention against spending money wastefully on mere wants.

'Twas much fun.

Liz's a dear... 'twasn't for her i'd be broke and cold. I have such wonderful friends on a whole.

~~~

Again we spoke and deliberated on the facts at hand with a certain pertinent issue. Some circumstances are just too uncannily familiar and common to us. Who are we to debate mind games with mirrors?

What do i know anyways...?

Easily the tiredness from the beach talking. (i went to the beach with my parents prior to the get together)
Night peoples.

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Fighting Providence...

By 9:55 PM ,
As we stood quietly facing the sunset, our feet sunk into the sand as we stood at the edge of the sea in our part of the world. The Foursome. One of us under a tree simply morose, to say the least. Another one deeply fascinated by sea birds overhead and the capturing the double rainbows... And the two of us, we stood pensively. When the silence was finally broken, it was to merely comment on the eerie feel in the air... the feeling of finality that when sun sets, as does this period in our lives. It was like something out of a movie.

Coincidentally, it was the last day of our lives as children. Every step henceforth took us closer to the ending of this chapter. Ironically, we glanced up only to be awed by nature's splendor at a path being formed in the sky. Scientifically and logically, it was simply the sun having shadow games with the clouds. But as littérateurs, we begged to differ. This moment validated and mimicked our feelings that we were well on our way to a higher level of thinking, of living... of being. The path paralleled that of the new paths that each of us shall be taking as we become who we are.

Today, Liz and I reflected on that moment standing there looking at the sunset, and how indeed so much has changed. That was the last day of freedom and absence of "very adult" responsibilities. Now we're all trying to find a job... Trying to figure out where the hell is that destination we're trying to find and how do we get there... We're figuring out that it was tougher than we expected... Some of us have found our happy endings (and beginnings)... But more importantly, that in so many ways ... we've all grown. And in so many ways, we've remained the same.

That day, it was us, as we always were.

'Every new beginning springs from some other beginning's end'.

Today, some of us are still fighting that chapter's end. Desperately, painfully clutching to every last letter in that closing paragraph. Inherently reluctant to admit that the chapter's end is imminent. Adamant that admitting such removes everything clean from once existing. A closing doesn't discard all that was scribbled on the pages. It doesn't change all that happened. It doesn't tarnish the good times, nor does it cast a lovely glow on the bad times. But it does mean that at this point, we move on.

We be happy.

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Stupid boy at the bus terminal.

By 11:30 AM
In retrospect we think of all the means things we should've said,
But didn't due to seeking an immediate get away.

~~~

I was well minding my business. Yes that i was. All i wanted was to find my way home asap. Poor me, i looked up and made eye contact with this ok looking guy - mind you, i wasn't interested. Next thing i know, he's winking at me and then he's not on the bus anymore. He moves to lean against the wall. THAT's when i realize that this boy despite having an ok face, is a train wreck when it comes to clothes. The number of fashion faux pas committed in those couple minutes. *shudders at memory* His outfit made straight guys look queer.. and queer guys wouldn't even dare to go that route. *gag*

He comes close to my window talking to someone. I look bluntly away from him. He comes straight to the window. I should've just closed the window. But i didn't. I got involved in silly meaningless conversation. At the end of it all, he gave me his number.

See boy well lickin' his lips inquiring about how close i live to the terminal and whom do i live with. See me so unattached to the conversation to post-witness his oh-so-feeble attempts at indicating his attentions.

Needless to say... i never called. Furthermore, i deleted the number seconds after the bus left the terminal.

~~~

Retrospectively
Meandered annoyance brought
Grave disinterest

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Just peachy...that's all

By 12:15 AM
Today, or rather yesterday, since it's past midnight... shall be dedicated to one song by one of my favourite artists.

In advance, i must warn you before you continue it's sad... horribly sad... but so beautiful and quiet. Also, if you're happy - scroll to the entry after this one.. because the song changes your mood to something sombre and retrospective. It was on my playlist tonight. It just came on... and it instantly changed my mood.. and i haven't been able to muster the strength to change the track (its on repeat). It's so beautiful. *sigh*

~~~

The track is no other than 'Foolish Games' by Jewel. *wistful sigh*. Jewel's voice is clear and tranquil... the instrumentals are soft in the background... she sounds so wounded... her description of the guy so clear...

Here are the lyrics....

"Foolish Games"

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,
You're always crazy like that.
And I watched from my window,
Always felt I was outside looking in on you.
You're always the mysterious one with
Dark eyes and careless hair,
You were fashionably sensitive
But too cool to care.
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather.

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Well in case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see,
This is my heart bleeding before you,
This is me down on my knees, and...

[Chorus]
These foolish games are tearing me apart,
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.
You're breaking my heart.

You're always brilliant in the morning,
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee.
Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you.
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar.
You'd teach me of honest things,
Things that were daring, things that were clean.
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean.
I hid my soiled hands behind my back.
Somewhere along the line, I must've gone
Off track with you.

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Well, excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else,
Somebody who gave a damn,
Somebody more like myself.

[Chorus]

You took your coat off,
Stood in the rain,
You're always crazy like that.

~~~

*sigh* these foolish games... i've mistaken you for somebody else

If i were to create a playlist to suit the tone of this song it would be...
  1. 'Torn' Natalie Imbruglia
  2. 'Flinch' Alanis Morisette
  3. 'Foolish Games' Jewel
  4. 'Don't speak' No Doubt
  5. 'Maps' Yeah Yeah Yeahs
  6. 'Linger' The Cranberries
  7. 'Against all odds' Phil Collins
  8. 'In the arms of an angel' Sarah McLachan (If you saw City of Angels... you'd cry with this song)
  9. 'Screaming Infidelities' Dashboard Confessional
  10. 'Empty Apartment' Yellowcard
  11. 'Kill' Jimmy Eat World
  12. 'My Happy Ending' Avril Lavigne
  13. 'My December' Linkin Park
  14. 'Something to sleep to' Michelle Branch
  15. 'Creep' Radiohead
  16. 'Till i get over you' Michelle Branch
  17. 'If you're not the one' Daniel Beddingfield
  18. 'Emotions' Destiny's Child
  19. 'It's too late' The Streets
  20. 'How's it gonna be?' Third Eye Blind
  21. 'Sweetest Goodbye' Maroon 5
  22. 'Let go" Frou Frou
  23. 'Sand in my shoes' Dido
  24. And finish with... 'That particular time' Alanis Morisette
~~~

*sigh* my mood's shot to hell now.

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Is it fair to say we are all hopelessly romantic?

By 11:02 PM ,
Conversation Excerpt from Msn Messenger.

Improvise in the blank spots in the excerpt.. as the msn
emoticons don't exactly quote over onto blogger
Midas: Back in action says: watcha up to

Shelli... says:
nuffin
Shelli... says: reading and critiquing lyrics

Midas says:
I seeeeee
Midas says: lyrical analist

Shelli... says:
yeppers
Shelli... says: im studying alanis's latest album (that i have)
Shelli... says: the tone is different.. and everyone admits it too
Shelli... says: she has a song defending men

Midas says:
oi

Shelli... says:
one about self less love
Shelli... says: one about self discovery
Shelli... says: one about letting go of her illusion of a love

Midas says:
I still hate her

Shelli... says:
etc etc
Shelli... says: i love her even more

Midas says:
enjoy your love then I'll fester in my dislike of her consistent bashing
Midas says: of course her next album will return to normal
Midas says: by that time the man she just got would have left her

Shelli... says:
no
Shelli... says: she's married now
Shelli... says: i just found out that the guy that spirited all these songs was...
Shelli... says: Joey from full house apparently...
Shelli... says: he had an affair with her when she was 14..

Midas says:
nice
Shelli... says: he was 15 years older.. and she was in love with him
Shelli... says: and well.. man knows no fury as a woman's wrath

Midas says:
n she's so innocent in the matter eh

Shelli... says:
aka.. you oughta know (the most bitter pissed off of her anthems)

Midas says:
cause I mean he's only 15yrs older n showing interest
Midas says: its all his fault
Midas says: oi
Midas says: women
Midas says: tell alanis to donate to me all her cash n get over it

Shelli... says:
she's happily married now

Midas says:
happy - alanis (oxymoron)

Midas: Back in action just sent you a Nudge!

Shelli... says: i beg to differ

Midas says:
of course u would
Midas says: but deep

Shelli... says:
oh wait

Midas says:
deep down we both know better

Shelli... says:
apparently its not true
Shelli... says: its some other guy
Shelli... says: that broke her heart

Midas says:
ah Oh well
Midas says: should I empathize or something

Shelli... says:
idk stupes
Shelli... says: aint nobody askin you to empathize

Midas says:
she should write a song thanking that guy
Midas says: if it weren't for him she wouldn't have been so successful
Midas says: but I doubt she'll see it that way

Shelli... says:
stupes
Shelli... says: life would've thrown ome curve ball for her to write about

Midas says:
yea cause she would have to learn eventually therefore instead of b*tching for money why not see itt as lesson learnt - stepping stone to something greater instead of kill the male species

Shelli... says:
she wasn't "b*tching" for money
Shelli... says: she was expressing how she felt
Shelli... says: not all of her albums were famous
Shelli... says: not all of them sold out in stores

Midas says:
take it easy I'm just playing at cha

Shelli... says:
they were just her thoughts and i doubt she relies on her music entirely for an income.. no celebrity relies entirely on it
Shelli... says: heh

Midas says:
oi you're so easy to get riled Up in defense of women \
Midas says: *sigh* that was fun

Shelli... says:
lol

Midas says:
got anybody else for me to twist

Shelli... says:
umm
Shelli... says:
How long can a girl be shackled to you
How long before my dignity is reclaimed
How long can a girl stay haunted by you
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name

Midas says:
flich - Alnis Morissett

Shelli... says:
you know it?!
Shelli... says: how'd you know?

Midas says:
u were listening to it this evening

Shelli... says:
i listened to many songs this evening
Shelli... says: want it?

Midas says:
hell no

Shelli... says:
its quite beautiful and calming
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
What's it been over a decade?
It still smarts like it was four minutes ago
We only influenced each other totally
We only bruised each other even more so

Midas says:

it's quite alnis so spare me

Shelli... says:

What are you my blood? You touch me like you are my blood
What are you my dad? You affect me like you are my dad
Shelli... says:
Where've you been? I heard you moved to my city
My brother saw you somewhere downtown
I'd be paralyzed if I ran into you
My tongue would seize up if we were to meet again

What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin

Midas says:

u obviously didint see the spare me part
Midas says:
nudge me when yr done

You have just sent a Nudge!

Midas says:
hi

Shelli... says:
its a lovely song
Shelli... says: you should give her some credit
Shelli... says: its not even sad like 'foolish games'

Midas says:
I did I give her lots of credit
Midas says: I just dont like her n nothing's gonna change that - to we HOPELESS HOPELESS ROMANTICS people like her we can live without
Midas says: so all props to her
Midas says: she's prolly great
Midas says: but spare me
Midas says: I'll survive without her

Shelli... says:
she's a hopeless romantic
Shelli... says: haven't you heard "precious illusions"?
Shelli... says: she threw in knights on white horses and all

Midas says:
very nice to know - trust me she aint no hopeless romantic - she's female
Midas says: big difference

Shelli... says:
so your premise is that females can't be hopeless romantics?
Shelli... says: bc she's female the knights theme is cliche and expected?
Midas says: my premise is that most if not all females are romantics
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
fyi, males are not generally deemed and considered hopeless romantics
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
poor chap
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
i beg to differ
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
i believe that the roles are shifting... i'm not sure about whether its for the better
Midas: Back in action says:
I know u would
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
but there's one too many independent stubborn career oriented women out there to say such a statement
Midas: Back in action says:
yr like chicken Licken
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
maybe a decade ago you could have risked that statement
Midas: Back in action says:
bullsh*t at heart they all want to be swept off their feet n they all enjoy the romance of a relationship
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
but not in today's society where alot of girls see guys as dispensable as a toothbrush if it comes in conflict with their bigger picture
Midas: Back in action says:
men as well as women are romantics no matter how stubborn we pretend to be
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
stupes.. at some level, it's human nature to feel wanted
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
but that doesn't fall into the category of a romantic
Midas: Back in action says:
at core level we were made to co exist - its our nature so we are all romantics
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
sometimes, the luxury of such might be inviting... but they get over it
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
co existance is not synonymous with romantics
Midas: Back in action says:
co existence is consistent with the need for interaction n socialism which stems the furits of courtship n need I say more
Midas: Back in action says:
unfortunately being human we get it wrong n we screw with in turns makes the one thing that we all search for so much greater when its found hence why love is ineffable
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
co existance stems to a lot of things.. but that doesn't always necessitate courtship
Midas: Back in action says:
because its beyond our comprehension but the reality is it 's not to be comprehended
Midas: Back in action says:
where male female co exist there will be attraction shells dont be naive
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
not every relation between male and female leads straight to romance... unless you're moving onto another false premise of friendship not being possible
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
i have friends who are just friends and are male.. no attraction on either end
Midas: Back in action says:
no one said every relation
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
your generalized statement implied such...
Midas: Back in action says:
but on the basis of co existence shells attraction will arise
Midas: Back in action says:
bullsh*t
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
thats not true
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
"co existence is consistent with the need for interaction n socialism which stems the furits of courtship n need I say more"
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
co existance is the foundation on what everything is based upon
Midas: Back in action says:
had we not the need for companionship then there would be no need for the female race
Midas: Back in action says:
deny it as much as you like but we need you you need us
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
heh.. the direction the world is going, there will be no need for the male race
Midas: Back in action says:
bullsh*t
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
in a bit it would be possible to create a baby using the mothers dna and such only
Midas: Back in action says:
that my friend is only an illusion
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
1. To exist together, at the same time, or in the same place.
2. To live in peace with another or others despite differences, especially as a matter of policy: “recognize and accept, as every President in the nuclear age has, that this means coexisting with the Soviet Union” (McGeorge Bundy).

Midas: Back in action says:
wats dis
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
thus by dictionary definition, co existance has nothing to do with relationships to be exact, not in the sense you're speaking of
Midas: Back in action says:
oi
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
it basically says that we're tolerant of each of other based on cultural values and in some innate level we need each other for help with survival
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
like how wolves operate
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
in a pack
Midas: Back in action says:
such the mind of the primal
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
bc i'm on a logical level and not with my head in the clouds i'm primal?
Midas: Back in action says:
just hitting below the belt for fun
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
actually... that makes my point further
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
of first importance; fundamenta
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
definition of primal
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
thank you for validating my point
Midas: Back in action says:
I argue with a on my face n rarely get set unless I feel extremely strongly on the matter
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
its FUNDAMENTAL
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
im not upset either
Midas: Back in action says:
u lost me
Midas: Back in action says:
where are u now
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
where am i now?
Midas: Back in action says:
u lost me at my primal comment
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
you called me primal... but at its best and worst... primal means fundamental, of first importance
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
so i was thanking you for validating my statements, being the gentleman that you are
Midas: Back in action says:
n which statements we validating now

Midas: Back in action just sent you a Nudge!

Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
my entire arguement which you aptly chose the word 'primal' to summarize
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
thus cancelling your arguement and undermining your argument.. if we shall stoop to the level of debating semantics
Midas: Back in action says:
right Shelli u cannt tell me that co existence does not bears the fruits of courtship which in turn fuels the romance ppl like me enjoy
Midas: Back in action says:
I'm not telling you that co existence bears only one fruit
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
coexistance is like the roots and trunk of a tree..
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
courtship is but a twig leading to a leaf on such a tree
Midas: Back in action says:
nor am I saying that every co existant relationship leads to such
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
NOT a root
Midas: Back in action says:
cause we are all created with individual needs
Midas: Back in action says:
thus too each his own
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
individual needs which are highly influenced by culture
Midas: Back in action says:

Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
and today's culture preaches too much about feminism, independence (not INTERdependence), progress, money, career to place the notions of yesterday on it
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
like i said, maybe back then it would be safe to say such a statement as we are all romantics at the core
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
but some people are just too heartless to be a romantic muchless harbour romantic thoughts
Shelli... to say these things i dun wanna say but have to say them anyway... says:
i was reading a book today that touched the cultural difference with the western civilisation and how greatly it differs to the east just today
Midas: Back in action says:
the circumstances of life create the persona to which one is identified which does not lend to the truth at heart of this particular individual, even the most heinous of men women which graced our planet had the concept of love romance at heart, we a re born as such the changes we undergo will either bring that to surface or hide such until the time when it is to be shown
Midas: Back in action says:
we create culture in turn culture creates us but we are not defined solely by the environment in which we exist
Midas: Back in action says:
at heart there is something which links us all, which allows us to bear witness to the label human n this extends far past the reach of the physical attriebutes of man
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
many of those whom you speak of... indeed have the kindness and romance at the innermost core... but it doesn't always manifest itself, and many go through life in the absense of romance despite their abilities
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
AND furthermore, society is at its most insular and cut off than its ever been
Midas: Back in action says:
the absence of romance seen in their lives does not eliminate the existence of romance at their hearts
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
you can take it straight down and strip it to the common day village life and bear witness to the grave differences to that of the past
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
stupes
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
you're being foolish
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
i don't understand your argument
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
everybody harbours the will to kill given the right circumstances deep within them.. but not every individual becomes a killer
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
your point?
Midas: Back in action says:
see wat I mean you will not be able to comprehend the matters which you blind yourself because logic creates a wall which inhibits the comprehension of things yr "logic" deems impractical
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
logic means "inexorable truth"
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
i still think my point stands
Midas: Back in action says:
logic is logic - the dictionary was created based on logic by a man
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
at the very core each human harbours the qualities to do anything from romance, to murder, to peacefulness and harmony, to stealing and envy, lust, greed.. etc you get my point.
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
Due to circumstances, certain qualities manifest much stronger than others
Midas: Back in action says:
exactly wat I've been trying to tell you
Midas: Back in action says:
maybe yr not so dumb after all
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
lots of things were created by man lik.. heh.., i'm not going into atheistic arguments tonight eh
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
what you've been saying is different russel
Midas: Back in action says:
why not
Midas: Back in action says:
wat u understood by my words is different
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
i've been saying whole night that today's societies does not contain a majority of (hopeless) romantics
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
you said it does bc at the core everyone can be romantic
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
-.-
Midas: Back in action says:
I havent been trying to prove the existence of Hopeless romantics rather the existence of romantics in each of us, never said that every romantic was a hopeless romantic thus yr logic again confuses you little one
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
stupes
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
easy for you to change tune so late in the discussion
Midas: Back in action says:
i havent
Midas: Back in action says:
its hard for you to admit a mistake o logical one
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
yes you have
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
if you could show me the mistake.. then i'd admit it
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
but i don't see one
Midas: Back in action says:
u already see your mistake its yr admittance I'm waiting on - My arguement was on the sole basis of romantics within each of us stemming from my comment that Alanis is a female n not a hopeless romantic
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
very nice to know - trust me she aint no hopeless romantic - she's female
Shelli... says: so your premise is that females can't be hopeless romantics?
Shelli... says: bc she's female the knights theme is cliche and expected?
Midas says: my premise is that MOST if not ALL FEMALES are romantics

Midas: Back in action says:
see the word there ROMANTICS
Midas: Back in action says:
dO YOU SEE HOPELESS BEFORE
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
men as well as women ARE ROMANTICS no matter how
stubborn we pretend to be
at core level we were made to co exist - its our nature so WE ARE ALL romantics

Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
stupes you're arguing semantics?
Midas: Back in action says:
exactly again I say ROMANTICS
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
the debate wasn't about HOPELESS.. it became romantic being common today
Midas: Back in action says:
wat are u blind deaf or maybe u r dumb
Shelli... in the exact same way you never did. says:
-.-
*********


On a random side note... quote of the day
well.. humourous folk quote of the day
if you make yourself grass,
ass gon eat ya.

I'm out.

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There are easier things in life than finding a good man...nailing jell-o to a tree, for instance

By 1:34 AM
"Boys"
A heart is not a play thing,
a heart is not a toy,
but if you want it broken,
just give it to a boy.

Boys like to play around with things,
to see what makes them run.
But when it comes to kissing,
they do it just for fun.

Boys never give their hearts away,
They play us girls for fools.
They wait until we give our heart,
and then they play it cool.

You will wonder where he is at night
You will wonder if he's true.
One moment you'll be happy.
One moment you'll be blue.

If you get a chance to see him,
your heart begins to dance.
Your world revolves around him.
Theres nothing like romance.

And then it starts to happen.
You worry day and night.
You see, my friend, your losing him.
It never turns out right.

Boys are great though immature.
The price you pay is high.
He may seem sweet and gorgeous,
but remember, hes a guy.

Love is fair, but hurts so much
the price is very high,
If given a chance of life or death,
I think I'd rather die.

Don't fall in love with just a boy,
that takes alot of nerve.
You see my friend, you need a man,
to get what you deserve.

So when you think that you're in love,
be careful if you can.
Before you give your heart away,
make sure that he's a man.
~~~

i forgot to post this as well... Ladies, please heed the simple words of wisdom expressed in the poem above. A friend of mine told me about it... so i Googled it myself to find the whole poem. And there it is...

Every girl should see it once to serve as a reminder when they feel like wavering... and every boy should see it when he is past a certain age and granted adult responsibilites, and childish behaviour is deemed unacceptable.

Ciao

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Small mercies.

By 12:19 AM
I am extremely tired... I just finished my first week at work - as a teacher. ^^*.

It was a bit odd, or rather still is, being called "Ms." by my students. Not so long ago (try a couple months) was i trailing behind my teachers singing "Ms." and "Sir" with every (un)necessary question or statement i felt like making. It's fun. I believe i'm going to enjoy it. The only catch is the lesson planning. I can see myself having a drama session with this marking. Oh its going to be hilarious. Wish me luck.

~~~

Back in high school, when i was a senior, i stumbled across the most delightful novel by Sophie Kinsella called 'Can You Keep A Secret?'. It was one which was written in first person stream of consciousness. The main character, through whom we (the readers) live vicariously through, is Emma. She represents the large section of the females society who live ordinary lives, doing ordinary things, with ordinary friends... but are special in their ordinary way. It's easy to empathize with the character because while Emma is the typically average, Kinsella created a personality with whom any girl can relate - extraordinary, weird, invisible, etc. Emma goes through so many experiences in the 362 pages.

As mentioned above, you live vicariously through Emma. Every emotion that Emma feels, you feel. Kinsella writes the novel so well that from the very first word, you have already been invited into Emma. Through out the entire novel, you ARE Emma. Every hurt/betrayal, every happy moment, every internal conflicting thought, becomes yours.

If anyone has the dumb notion of tagging this book as a typical romance, they are deeply mistaken. Romance in actuality, while is a integral part of the novel, it doesn't consume it either. CYKAS, in my opinion, can be summarized as the growth of a young woman into the woman she ought to be, and the journey that brought her there. At the end of the novel, an emotional bond is formed with Emma... and most likely, reading about her journey to self-discovery would leave you in tears... of sorrow, of happiness, of confusion.

Also, you shall be left with the thoughts such as "This would make an awesome movie!" or "Wouldn't it be lovely if this was produced in film?".

Many years later...

While trying to locate a quote online to post in my blog (because i feel particularly lazy to go and look for the book and type it out) i stumble across a link to CYKAS the movie on IMDB on Google. Out of mere curiosity, i click the link. Lo and Behold.... someone has actually thought about making the novel a film....!! The producer is Kate Hudson. She's also playing the role of Emma. *sigh*

I adore Kate... but she's no Emma. Emma is chubby, quirky, and unforgetably English. Kate is slim, sweet and quite American. Oh well... grateful for mercies right?

Atleast they discovered what a wonderful idea it would be to turn the novel into a film.

All is well in my world.

Shelli out.

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World gone mad.

By 7:13 PM
My friend Sergey's screen name said 'Where is your God?'.

Being who i am, i couldn't but help my curiosity being piqued just a little (to say the least). So, i proceeded to question him about such a public broadcast of such words, wondering whether he was implying something to a class of people regarding something i must've missed in the news. There's so much of that going on these days...

It turns out... He says the one thing i didn't expect. Maybe i'm just behind the curve because my location is on this little spice isle of mine. Or maybe its just me who missed it because i rarely find time to watch news anyways.

NUNtheless... let me not digress any further - Burger King.

Convo excerpt below.

Sergey says:
it's just a fad circuling around
Sergey says:
and the presence of the burger king is related to that question, apparently
Sergey says:
no deeper meaning
Sergey says:
no "in-between-the-lines"
Shelli... Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue. says:
burger king?
Sergey says:
apparently
Sergey says:
I agree, it's silly
Shelli... Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue. says:
-.- people

Ofcourse yours truly needs no more prompting. I Googled it one time - Burger King... where is your god?. So it seems there is indeed some association with the phrase and Burger King. Also, it is some fad of sorts...But then i stumbled onto this article.

Excerpt below

The Sun has a bizarre story today (thanks Laura) about Burger King recalling its ice-cream cones that have a swirly design that offends some Muslims....

...It beggars belief that the Muslim Council of Britain keep giving credence to these stupid stories with their own quotes. For god’s sake, it only gives the impression that all Muslims are hyper-sensitive. BK should never have changed this, I haven’t seen a single campaign or email about this issue...

Read more here...

... and an ironic cartoon on the subject shall be posted as soon as i find it... -.-

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I got a job.

By 10:19 AM
The long search is over... I, Shells, have decided to discontinue my intense search for a job... because I found one. ^^*

I shall be teaching Art at a high school. Hopefully I'll be a good teacher. I would HATE to be the teacher that I used to complain about when I was a student.. ie, can't teach, too young, can't teach, fresh out of college, can't teach... etc etc.

As fate should have it... My dad was telling me that when he was looking for a job back when he was younger, for the first time after getting his qualifications. He was called into interviews and such, but he didn't get called back to work..... Until one of the best companies to work for, took him in. Then all of sudden, all the job offers started pouring - especially those that were cutting styles on his application/interviews.

The same day I got through with the Art teaching job, I found out the Ministry wants me to teach Literature at some other school. Mind you, I had indeed wanted to teach Lit. but i got over that want when I realized (or thought it to be...) futile. Then I found out yesterday that there's an availability at a law firm for me. The whooper would be if RBTT calls. I wanted to go to RBTT -.-... They pay very well (much better than a teacher), take good care of their employees.. and I haven't received a response from them yet. *sighs* oh well...

I GOT A JOB.

~~~

I'm sleepy. I went to the beach yesterday with some friends. Yesterday was officially the last day of being 18, first time not being in school, not working anywhere, being innocent to the tough ways of the world when it comes to work.

It was much fun. The water was very warm and lovely.

...

I'm sleepy.
Ciao.

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Oo la la... 'Tis a new season for all

By 12:51 PM
Is it just me... or has television gone in the wrong direction?

What ever happened to quality, good shows that when you leave and turn off the screen, you leave content, knowledgeable whilst maintaining morals and values. (Don't get me wrong. My concensus is not that ALL shows have gone down the gutter, there are some good shows out there...)

Today, I can't even look at Cartoon Network properly anymore. Who ever thought there would come a time when you'd actually have to go search the TV Guide to find out when Tom & Jerry would be scheduled to show? All the good cartoons have been replaced by... these cartoons, the majority of which i could barely stomach.

No more... Johny Quest, G-Force, Scooby Doo, Flintstones, Pink Panther, The Jetsons... etc

Also, what ever happened to the children shows? Me and a friend of mine, Liz, were discussing this just this morning. Children shows as we know it - are long gone.

'Barney' has changed. It's no longer fun and 'Barney' with a few friends... it's tragically different now. Everytime i look at it, or try to, there's someone new and everything has transformed into something *perks eyebrow, weird gaze* different. Hell, even 'Seasame Street' has transformed into something yucky. 'Arthur', one of my childhood favourites, is not the same. The voices have changed... No more 'Mr. Roger's Neighbourhood. No more 'Wishbone', which was always a delight to watch... who can't help but love a show with man's best friend AND storytelling/re-enacting pieces of history and folklore. No more 'Reading Rainbow'... and 'Shining Time Station'... 'Lamb Chops Playhouse'... 'Theodore Tugboat'... 'Book of Virtue'....'Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?'...

Maybe one or two mentioned above are still running... but it's not the same. This Teletubbies... Could someone please tell me what exactly are children learning from big odd creatures with televisions on their stomachs and a baby in the sun? Are they trying to help children take longer to speak? Thank God i didn't grow up in that time. I was spared the nightmare of it all...

On a slight digression... what about all the shows that created and nurtured a bond between man and animal? Rin tin tin, Lassie, All Dogs Go to Heaven.. *sigh*

~~~

Just look at the values today's shows present?

Remember the good old days of Family Matters where pertinent realistic issues arise, humour is maintained and the moral not missed.

One of today's biggest hits is "Two and a Half Man" which admittedly is funny. But i'm still debating whether or not i truly appreciate the show, or understand and agree to the mixed values it is sending out.

In the show, there are 3 main characters - Charlie, his brother and his nephew. Charlie sleeps around, and that is no secret. He has very little value for women other than their purpose in bed. His brother on the otherhand, tries to bring forth the importance of family, respect and discipline. YET, this is lost because his character has the weakest personality to convince anybody even though he tries. However, his credibility twindles soon as he finds an.... air head (to say the least, for the lack of a better word/phrase) who he sleeps with and tolerates because she likes him (or what he can give her) despite his weak personality. His son, has absolutely no respect for his elders. I remember one episode where Charlie was entrusted with his care, and you would think he could control his nephew. Everytime he told his nephew no, he winded up getting his nephew what he wanted. What ever happened to 'who's the adult and who's the child?'.

That's not the only show that promotes such... there are those that promote promiscuity, drinking, smoking... and MANY of the shows that children get to see contain adult content and suggestive language - like Spongebob Square Pants. Then again, the parents should be doing their duty and being responsible with their children viewing television... i could go on and on about this.. i'll stop now. *sigh*


Wishbone Redemption Wrote:
Personally, even if that is the case, I don't think it matters much.

Why?

Because what kind of culture are we if our only source of 'traditional morals and family values' comes from the television? If parents already have out-of-control kinds, a sitcom isn't to blame, other factors in their family life are (such as how they were raised themselves.) And if a family is well-adjusted and respectful of one another, it's not because the parents watched TV that reflected common, well-liked values.

The media reflect the society; I think you've got it backwards. The show you described isn't encouraging anything, it's merely portraying a common or relatable incident. So our society degenerated the supposed 'values', not the TV show. It's just playing off of that.

Exactly, the media DOES reflect society. However, the media also influences what people condone and what they don't condone. Television in today's society along with the other forms of media is extremely influential on our train of thought with many issues, whether we admit it or not.

But that just proves my point even more. They have the option.. the power.. the ability to convey what is right and not condone and encourage what is wrong... YET they don't.

Saying that the problem is just society and its not the media's fault does justify it. If you're in a position to make something better, change it for the good, shouldn't you do it? Change your thoughts, change the world.

Quote:
*Mitani_Yuki*

It's just a sitcom. It's meant to be funny. Aparently, somebody thinks its funny. I think you're overanalyzing the show.


Overanalzing am i? Today's culture is to make important issues seem trivial. Promoting promiscuity is trivial? Hello - there's an increase in teenage pregnancies and all those wonderful delights related to it.

I highly doubt i'm over analyzing it. You can make a joke but you don't have to promote something thats wrong. If you do, then where does that leave us? If we laugh at the wrong things and condone the wrong things as a nation..? As a people?

Then again... i posted a similar topic on Gaia "Values presented in new shows"(excerpt above).. On my poll "TV sitcoms have undermined family" only 27% responded in absolute certainty against such notions... and one of the responses argued that television is a reflection of society.

Shows should have a stronger family value atleast..(like Diamondz said) Kids today are alot more disrespectful to their parents than those of yesterday... If we can't get the family value in real life... can't we not atleast get it on tv before its all extinct?

If that's the case... then i reluctantly admit, it's not tv that's gone down the gutter... it's us.

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Talk about dishing out a can of whoop-@$$

By 1:19 AM
After talking so much smack about how good i am at tennis, and how athletic i am.... I lost horribly. As i walked onto the court, and observed Adam playing doubles i realized there was ZERO competition.

~~~

Mind you, in my defense, I was athletic. I was to do cross country every year. I even placed in the top 10 once, in the early days. I grew lazier with age and mom would end up joining me half the journey discouraging any thought of dropping out. She was one of the teachers in charge of our House (Red Team) and she sure as hell wasn't going to let a contributory point pass by. Besides, i didn't mind. Gives me something to tell my grandkids when i have them.

I also did high jump (once), swimsplash (every year... infact my mom sent me to swimmng lessons just so that i could learn to swim and get points for the team. lol.) and I even took part in a interschool swimming competition (once). I did track every year and placed well in most of my races (with several medals as evidence). AND i did tennis.

So in my mind I was an athlete.

Now... two years later, after relinquishing all ties with sporty things and clingy solely to academics i find myself even worse off than i was before. I pride myself on not suffering from muscle aches and such if i should feel the impulse to go jog or do some sport, despite me being out of practice with sports of any persuasion. I had faith in myself that the average tennis player in me can reveal itself.

~~~

I was wrong.

I couldn't serve the proper way - i ended up doing the bounce the ball on the court and hit over the net. -.-

I couldn't hit the ball into the squares to prevent it from being outside - when i managed to make it over the net.

I missed balls that were coming straight at me - and for a good bit, if i managed to hit it... strangely enough i ended up hitting it onto the next court, above my head, or behind me.

I also became desperately tired (and thirsty) 15 minutes into the game.

I conclude,
I suck.

~~~

Fortunately, the perfectionist in me refuses to accept defeat (that's so blatantly obvious).

I've taken up jogging, which yes i know, long-term effects is that its bad for my knees. But screw my knees, must get better at tennis. I'm going and perform a full hunt for MY raquet. I also believe thats a reason for my defeat. I borrowed a racquet from Adam because I couldn't find mine. My racquet and I have a special bond... a special connection... Ok poor excuse.

I shall be fit again.

I seriously have to work on my forehand. -.- It's horrific.

Shelli Out.

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Another day in the jungle.

By 10:06 PM
I went out today on my jobhunt. Eekies.

I know how much i used to accuse some people i know living abroad of hiding behind the "the economy is bad" statement as a cheap excuse not to work. However, i realize now that i'm actually now struggling to get a toe, much less a foot, in the system it's pretty much the truth.

I can't vouch for the states. But i can speak for here.

Right now it's awful. The job market is flooded. I'm trying desperately to get into a teaching job but i can't.

It seems apparent that there is actually a decrease in the number of primary school students attending primary schools. Thus, there is a surplus of primary school teachers. As a means to rectify the problem, the Ministry of Education is trying find vacancies within the secondary schools to place the qualified (ex-) primary school teachers. Furthermore, i heard a rumour from Zel that what she's hearing is that Teachers who did Teacher Education courses have first priority over those who didn't do such courses. Essentially we're all here.

Sitting, waiting, wishing, hoping.

Shelli out.

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Feel Good Day

By 9:00 PM
Have some composure
And where is your posture?
Oh no no!
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger all wrong
-'Time to dance' Panic! at the Disco

Today was hectic but delightful.

What did I do? I went to college and tried to dig myself a path through this muck that is the *job hunt*. I dropped off my gift for one of my teachers (art), my small token of appreciation. She loved it.

When I first joined her class I really thought she hated me. Seriously. I had almost nothing nice to say about her. Not that I was hearing the sweetest recommendations overflowing about her. Coming down to the end of the course what I realized is ... she's a gem. Throughout your school life you quickly realize sometimes, unless you're one of the lucky ones, that not all teachers care. This teacher is one that does. I joined a 2 year course one year late and she pushed me. She was particularly tough, but then again, she was tough on us all. That behaviour is one of the unique traits of a teacher that cares.

*********

You know whats funny? Life.

So far in a short period of time...

I had the friendship that I idolized and dreamed of existing with a friend - "best friend"... And realized that what I wanted it to be, it no longer was... *sigh*

and a host of other things...

And while self-realization can be an unpleasant experience, I'm learning and I'm still alive.

Also, strangely enough... I'm happy today.


*********

On a way off note....

According to the Washington Post, it seems apparent that "Diddy" (Sean Combs) is no longer Diddy in the UK due to a lawsuit. His recent name change last year from P. Diddy to Diddy created some confusion regarding names with a London-based music producer Richard "Diddy" Dearlove. As a result of the name change, Dearlove started receiving emails sent by people who thought he was Sean Combs.

Hmm... what's up with all these name changes? Today everyone is fixing their name. 'Lil Bow Wow' is now just 'Bow Wow' and 'Snoop Doggy Dogg', as of 1996, became 'Snoop Dogg'.

*sigh* Is it all really that necessary?

That's all.
Shelli out.

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Musings on ...

By 8:58 PM
Listening to "The Bridge" by Elton John



SUCH AN ADORABLE BABY!!! SUCH A HAPPY FAMILY!! ^^*

OMG, am I the only one who thinks this child is gorgeous? Ok, so maybe I'm not the only one. Infact, several other blogs have made statements of the like. BUT she IS amongst the most adorable babies I've ever seen.

Despite the vast distance between the U.S. and my petite Caribbean isle, I have still managed to get involved in the drama that is the typical celebrity life. One of my aunts has subscriptions to all the juicy "reliable" celebrity magazines like People, National Enquirer, etc. and naturally I couldn't help but be taken in by it all. I was chiming away at the weirdness surrounding Suri's lack of presence and bordering on whether she does exist at all.... I mean I've heard versions of theories regarding it, as I'm sure the rest of the world has, ranging from Katie and Tom not even being together to begin with and it being all for publicity to... erm... just weird stuff.

BUT none of that matters anymore... I mean c'mon... JUST LOOOK AT THAT GORGEOUS bundle of joy. She looks so cute. So much like her parents. SO delightful. Congrats Tom and Katie. *big grin* Congrats indeedy. Best wishes.

(This is my fave pic of her... just look at the cutie pie)
For more pics, this blog has many. And this one.

*********

Ok enough gushing about the baby. I've already blabbed to ALL my friends, insisted that they MUST see Suri, and *attempted* to convert them on my "Suri is so gorgeous" bandwagon.

Now, due to the rising of my allergies i'm forced to acknowledge the heat. I know that I'm an island girl and this should be nothing, but geez, it's hot..! It's very humid as well. It's hot and humid. How lovely. One just has to love icky weather. Atleast the moon is out right?

You know, being 18, fresh out of college and jobless is quite an experience. Who ever thought finding a job would be this hard... AND its not that I'm not qualified, maybe I'm not searching hard enough. It is my understanding the job market is flooded. Thus, I should seek harder. But I figure I'm suffering from post-vacation-and-no-school(for the first time) syndrome.

I visited college to see a couple teachers and I felt so awkward. At first it was like - do they think I shouldn't be here..? Or even worse, do they believe I'm repeating because I flunked my classes? (which I did not, for the record.) Then I got over myself, and realized that I look like one of them. This realization dawned on me when a couple of "young'ns" were trying to hit on me as I walked pass "The Tree" on the hill. It was all in my head. It seems fortunate that I graduated when I did in a way though because all those jokes about school being a prison seem more of a reality. Although I'm sure there is a completely reasonable, justifiable, plausible reason (as in to make the environment appear more conducive and rid of the undesirables that wander into the college begging for money). There are all these gates and barbed wire fences. Yes indeed, I bet it is for our own protection. Yes that's what it is.

OOOH... I must say also that one MUST walk across the Carenage at night if ever on this beautiful isle (Grenada). Me and my friends walked across for old times' sake, Wednesday I believe it was. The moon was out, and the reflections of the lights of the town at night on the water... *sighs* I shall take a photograph someday and post it here.

*sighs contentedly*
Shelli out.

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By 1:40 PM
Ok. Here's to the first post.

*Cheers*

May this blog live up to my expectations.

Shelli out.

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