Being able to survive it... doesn't mean it was ok.

By 11:09 AM ,
Separated by routine,
we are all mourning in
parallel form the same silent tragedies...
...everyone has a secret
that would break your heart...
...if we could just remember this,
I think there would be a lot more
compassion and a lot more
tolerance in theworld...
-Mississippi

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Do you still care...?

By 1:55 PM , ,



Lyrics | Do You Still Care lyrics

I stumbled across this song a couple minutes ago.... I think it poses a nice question to humanity and where would we be willing to draw the line with prejudice?

When I was back home, going to college, I was a member of the drama club. One of the poignant things that always stood out was some ideas that Mr. Amen always tried to get across to us. Mind you, in some ways, they weren't articulated properly.... but it was communicated in a way that you have some understanding of the message. It was also something that, ultimately, you need to quest for yourself.

Anyways... we, as humans, have gotten caught up in trivial-made-important matters. We're making trivial things major issues, which is preventing us from actually solving the worlds' problems. At the core, we all have red blood being pumped through our veins... and in dire desperate situations, when the strings that hold us pull us closer, we see this and look beyond the skin colour, the money, the gender, the sexuality, whatever...

If only we manage to keep this up for longer than a dire situation?

Look at Dark Knight for example... (at least I hope it was in Dark Knight)

The Joker put two bombs on two boats trapped with people. He was counting on one boat to rush and detonate the other before the other party detonates them. One boat filled with prisoners, the other filled with ordinary citizens. Despite the obvious reasons why you would think to blow up the boat of prisoners... or to blow up the citizens... neither party did.

They recognized we're all human... no matter what... and furthermore, who gives us the right to judge or the right to take the life of another on the mere basis of what we think : be it our opinions, biases, so forth...

Ok, I believe I lost my train of thought. I forgot what I was trying to illustrate...

***

Anyways, the song poses two situations... Firstly, a member of the KKK many years down the line needing a liver, the only available one is from a black person. Does he still care about skin colour? Would this stop him from accepting the transplant?

And secondly, a poor black youth growing up in Jamaica where they are particularly homophobic, ends up in a shoot out and his friends drive off and leave him lying by the road side bleeding and a homosexual sees him and takes him to the hospital. Does he care about the sexuality of his saviour?

Where do you draw the line? Do you still care about these minor technicalities? Are they still issues?

***

Shelli out for now..
I have some other things to post about.. perhaps I shall do that later on this evening.

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Do we even need a black president?

By 11:52 PM

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"Experience is just a euphemism we use to feel better about our mistakes" -Daniel St. Bernard

By 10:54 PM

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Are you serious....?

By 9:30 PM ,
Shelli is currently peeved with American racism and ideals.

***

Ok... so my knowledge is not as vast nor as deep with regards to American politics...

But I'm watching the Presidential Debate now as I type.

Are the American people listening to the Republicans..? Are they hearing the words that are coming out of McCain's mouth?

The Republicans are the reason why the economy is the state that it is in as of current. I remember reading "Dude, Where's my country?" by Michael Moore, where he spoke about the tax cuts for the big wealthy business/men. They believe in the trickle down economy, whereby - give the rich some more money and maybe it would eventually trickle down to the little man. It doesn't work, hasn't been working... and looking at the state of current economic affairs, it could only get worse.

The Treasury Secretary of the American gov't put no caps on CEO severance pay offs... soooooo, as the companies fail or whatever, the CEO walks off with a nicely filled pocket.

Now, like my friend Daniel said, one of the worst moves the gov't made was to buy out the companies. It sends a bad message. It practically allows the companies to get away with their blunders, and sends the message that the gov't would rescue you from your mistakes so long as your mistakes are bigger than you thought it was, and the mistake would create global ripples... What difference does the bail out make? And... how much can the taxpayers' dollar really help one company that affected the economy that much...?

***
Newsweek excerpt.
Ada vs. Wall Street
"An 80-year-old grandmother who took control of her finances wonders why bankers can't do the same."
26th Sept. 2008

According to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke and President Bush, that's pretty much what's happening to several major financial institutions in the current economic crisis. In the last month, the government has brokered three bailouts (Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG) totaling nearly $400 billion. In Washington and on Wall Street, there are dire warnings that more corporate failures are awaiting us in the months ahead. While a solution is being debated, the front-running fix is Paulson's original $700 billion bailout. Taxpayer funded, it's designed to steady the markets by strengthening ailing companies and easing the current credit crunch.

..."The corporate people that are getting all the big bucks—they should investigate them and see who's to blame before they bail out anybody," she said.

...Noda says there are already criminals who need punishing in the financial fiasco: "Get rid of the CEOs and prosecute them—get rid of all these people getting the big bonus," she said. "All these other Enron people who did something—they prosecuted them and they went to jail. If you or I did something wrong we'd go to jail."
***


The fact that there is no caps on the pay offs... now the workers within the company won't benefit. But the CEO walks off with all the money? Doesn't this mean that the severance pay would be in turn the equivalent to a buy out?

Doesn't the buy out make a mockery of what America stands for? Considering that capitalism rests on the foundation of no real gov't interference with private companies...?

Again, like Daniel put it, not only do the CEO's walk away scotch free and filthy rich, they jacked most of it from tax payers money.

***
Opinions about the AIG bail out
Lisa Williams

"...A husband and wife have $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family? Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved. Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads Put away money for college - it'll be there Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs. Buy a new car - create jobs Invest in the market - capital drives growth Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( 'vote buy' ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President. If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up. Here's my rationale.

We deserve it and AIG doesn't. Sure it's a crazy idea that can 'never work. 'But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam."

***
***

Convo with Daniel on msn.


Dvs says:
why was this company saved anyways? like what made
them so special that the government
decided it was necessary to keep them around?

Shelli...... rocks says:
yep
Shelli...... rocks says:
aig... they're insurance GLOBALLY
Shelli...... rocks says:
so if they went down... they take everything down too
Shelli...... rocks says:
im not sure if thats the one they bailed out.. was it only one?
Shelli...... rocks says:
but i think thats one
Shelli...... rocks says:
and another one i heard about was a mortgage company
that handled over 50% over mortgages in america

Dvs says:
ok, so they went bankrupt, theyre an insurance company........

Shelli...... rocks says:
yea
Shelli...... rocks says:
and insurance handles everything

Dvs says:
oh no now if my car crashes i wont be gettin my money back

Shelli...... rocks says:
its not like abank... its bigger than a bank.. the banks
invest with insurance companies
Shelli...... rocks says:
your car, your house
Shelli...... rocks says:
your backside (beyonce)

Dvs says:
lol

Shelli...... rocks says:
and j. lo
Shelli...... rocks says:
lol

Dvs says:
you would wonder how an insurance company goes bankrupt....all things
considered the only time money leaves is
when something happens (ie: buildings are destroyed)
why in the world would they go bankrupt?
Dvs says:
was it the hurricane?

Shelli...... rocks says:
precisely
Shelli...... rocks says:
i doubt
Shelli...... rocks says:
in my business class all i kept hearing was wall street greed
Shelli...... rocks says:
a lot of these companies had greedy intentions
and it collapsed in and of itself
Shelli...... rocks says:
they held out longer than they should
Shelli...... rocks says:
and made a series of business mistakes
Shelli...... rocks says:
and bad decisions
Shelli...... rocks says:
and it led to great losses

Dvs says:
so basically in a last ditch attempt to get out
of paying for all of the damages, they just
filed bankruptcy?
Dvs says:
wow
Dvs says:
....

Shelli...... rocks says:
pretty much
Shelli...... rocks says:
if you cant pay.. file for bankruptcy

Dvs says:
kinda proves the use of insurance now dont it

Shelli...... rocks says:
and their stocks are still being sold

Dvs says:
a victory for capitalism
Dvs says:
if the ppl want your product they will buy, even if its an illusion
Dvs says:
youd think the ceos would be taken to court
Dvs says:
i guess the buyout was necessary, not to save the
company so much as repay the citizens

Shelli...... rocks says:
yea pretty much
Shelli...... rocks says:
and yea you would think so...
Shelli...... rocks says:
but dan, they're greivin... give them more more
Shelli...... rocks says:
money
Shelli...... rocks says:
lol.... it would be unconscionable to take them
to court in their depressive state

Dvs says:
dont tell me thats actually why theyre gettin
away with it? greiving? because ofcourse
its in the name of the now-homeless survivors,
god forbid it be because they have to
part with their precious money

Shelli...... rocks says:
amen

Dvs says:
its a sad time to be an american
Dvs says:
and to imagine, voting for mccain is a matter
of values to alot of americans
Dvs says:
...well smalltown values
Dvs says:
or so they claim

Shelli...... rocks says:
one of the issues i keep hearing is...
he doesn't have experience...

Dvs says:
lol dailyshow was interviewing some of them at
the republican convention, askin what those values
were and the only answer that came out was church attendance

Shelli...... rocks says:
dan how do ppl get experience? furthermore, the ppl
with experience are makin crappy decisions
Shelli...... rocks says:
LMAO

Dvs says:
i kid you not
Dvs says:
lol yea, exprience
Dvs says:
i dont think spending time as a prisoner of war
really teaches you how to run a country
Dvs says:
kinda unrelated topics

Shelli...... rocks says:
exactly

Dvs says:
well im sad, cause my * extended family member*
was gonna vote hillary,
but since hillary lost she wants to vote mccain
Dvs says:
it doesnt make sence, i couldnt even reason with her
Dvs says:
experience indeed
Dvs says:
but pailin definitely takes the cake

Shelli...... rocks says:
can i post our convo in my blog?

Dvs says:
only if it includes you asking if it can be posted
Dvs says:
:P

Shelli...... rocks says:
lol ok

Dvs says:
and only if its used with comic intent...or at least satire
Dvs says:
ok scratch the last part

Shelli...... rocks says:
you know palin has her name associated with a party
thats tryin to remov alaska from the us and
make it independent
Shelli...... rocks says:
you know palin has her name associated with a party thats tryin
to remove alaska from the us and make it independent

Dvs says:
yea, i thought i told you that...or maybe the
other way around i dont remember
Dvs says:
ive been telling ppl that myself tho
Dvs says:
lol

Shelli...... rocks says:
imagine if there was a mere RUMOUR of this
attachment to obama

Dvs says:
well i just think its too funny, who woulda thought that
pandering for womens votes would go so far

Shelli...... rocks says:
lol

Dvs says:
yea, no i think the way everyones handling her
kids pregnancy is whats a bit much
Dvs says:
i couldnt quote it to save mylife, but jon
stewart made an excelent point about it
Dvs says:
basically saying, its amazing that theyre asking
everyone to respect their decision as a family
to keep the child, but denying all others (they even
included rape victims) the ability to make the same
choice themselves
Dvs says:
well theyre offering the same solution, but not the same choice

Shelli...... rocks says:
interesting point
Shelli...... rocks says:
ahh... you mean they made a choice in a matter that
shouldnt have to be decided on
Shelli...... rocks says:
based on her beliefs?

Dvs says:
no i mean they MADE a choice, they were giving one
regardless of the influences involved in it

Dvs says:
no i mean they MADE a choice, they were giving one
regardless of the influences involved in it

Shelli...... rocks says:
ahh..
Shelli...... rocks says:
same thing

Dvs says:
and theyre using it to set an example,
essentially denying others of the same

Shelli...... rocks says:
ohhh

Dvs says:
i mean, theyre arguing respect our descision and at
the same time trying to decide for women themselves

Shelli...... rocks says:
right

Dvs says:
its rediculous

Shelli...... rocks says:
yea
Shelli...... rocks says:
a paradox in and of its own

Dvs says:
and she also brings up the whole experience thing too
Dvs says:
yea

Shelli...... rocks says:
again
Shelli...... rocks says:
imagine if that was obama's daughter
Shelli...... rocks says:
i think the whole thing is being blown up
into something greater jus because he's black
Shelli...... rocks says:
i dont remember all this publicity with john kerry...
Shelli...... rocks says:
hell i had to rack my brain last night to remember his name
Shelli...... rocks says:
and if its for experience.... america picked bush over
kerry for experience... he created the mess and
they were too scared to change captains mid-flight. understood
Shelli...... rocks says:
but theres no excuse to keep someone..
or a party... that wasn't working in power
Shelli...... rocks says:
because of experience
Shelli...... rocks says:
how does one get experience? if not been given a chance?

Dvs says:
lol
Dvs says:
experience is just a euphemism we use
to feel better about our mistakes
Dvs says:
and yea, its sad but it really is beiing blown up this
big because he's black, i think alot of other candidates
were in no better shhoes and no more capable than
he is anyways






***
Jamaica Gleaner
Will conservative ideology let Wall Street destroy capitalism?

We knew this would be the fallout. Conservative philosophy denounces ideologically the practice of government regulation. Further, it sees bail-out intervention as wrong. The market must self-correct as part of capitalism's creative destruction. Yet, today President Bush supports a bail-out.
Republican presidential candidate John McCain supports government intervention in campaign speeches, attacking greed on Wall Street. Obama supports it too, with caveats. What's new? Politics gets inextricably intertwined with economics once financial sector crash and rehabilitation turn up. We have our own FINSAC debates to guide us - what's new indeed? A bundle.
...Innovative and risky new financial instruments, once hailed as remarkably elegant, now defined as toxic, once created and marketed worldwide, take on a life of their own. The US budget deficit, according to Congressional Budget Office analysts, is $486 billion. This does not include ad hoc commitments for Bear Stearns, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac of $240 billion. Top this up with $85 billion for AIG and $700 billion for a comprehensive programme a la Resolution Trust Corporation for an unprecedented commitment of taxpayer funds and the yet unborn.
The blame game will continue and intensify. Yet the process is not new. Financial crises and their resolution evolve like this. Innovation and lax regulatory oversight, for whatever reason, are followed by ad hoc responses, which fail to contain the crisis. Comprehensive solution follows with appropriate recrimination, significant policy and legislative regulatory changes - the classic process.
The problem, however, is that this situation represents conditions underlying both the way the world economy now works and the way the international monetary system evolved haphazardly, to facilitate it. The US dollar is the world's currency despite the emergence of the euro and Britain's insistence on maintaining sterling in its effort to provide some independence for domestic economic policy and the place of the city of London as a major financial centre.
...He wants a blank cheque with no oversight. Some see Paulson as making a power grab from an unpopular lame-duck President who must stay out of the public square. While Lou Dobbs calls the plan idiotic, its Liberal critics insist the bail-out should not simply hug up toxic assets no private entity would buy off Wall Street's books without potential taxpayer benefit. The bail-out must buy a stake in the business. Politically, the bailout as currently proposed - no possibility of judicial review, no relief for small banks, credit unions, homeowners - may prove more difficult to achieve than bi-partisan authority to make war in Iraq. This is why world financial markets continue to be spooked.
***


I heard this in the debate....when I was momentarily able to stomach the level of b.s. I was ingesting through my ears.

Should they have gone into war? I personally think the war was unnecessary. I don't believe 1/10th of what the gov't had to say. I believe the war was just an excuse to get over to the East. It's shrouded in too many question marks regarding how the whole thing was handled. I'm not even sure why they went over there... and no, I don't believe it really had to do with Al Quieda.

I'm even on the borderline of believing the conspiracy theories behind WTC attacks. Too many plausible question marks I say.. too many. Furthermore, you could see the details on your license plate from satellite. But they can't find ONE man on a DIALYSIS machine? C'mon... people are foolish, but not that foolish. What does he do? He has solar powered dialysis machines in every cave to help out his situation?

Anyways... that being said.

***

I find it even more annoying that many people are missing the value of what Obama is saying because they're too distracted by the colour of his skin. America prides itself on supposedly overcoming the evils and detaching itself in some ways from the legacy of slavery. They believe they have let go racial discrimination, and opened the doors to equality amongst everyone despite gender or colour...

Here's their objectivity proof test on these beliefs. Guess what, they're failing.

It's absurd how one track the critical thinking arguments are with this whole matter. They're not even paying attention to what policies are being advocated much less whats being said about the current state of affairs within the country. This is the time to make use of all the mud slinging transparency that's being brought to the table with the American gov't and how the country is being run. Your country.

Instead, the debate revolves around experience, skin colour, the reverend's statements, Palin "is a MILF" and super hot. *ahem* This isn't going to save the economy.

And frankly, it isn't going to save America either.

Shelli out.

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Liar, liar

By 8:39 PM
Now let's say I said I could seriously drink 25 bottles of water straight without stopping on Monday 22nd, 2008, commencing at X hours.... That means you'd expect to see the proof of my fulfilling this claim of ability at the specified time. Should I pause at any point, it automatically translates as failure to complete my claim.

Therefore, my response of well "Why don't you do it then? It's hard..", "Or... I'm human.. sue me..." becomes hardly irrelevant. I would be the one running around claiming I could do it, not the other person. I would be full aware of the potential risks and consequences of my actions should I follow through with the claim.... My only response should be "...so I guess I can't..."

***

David Blane was NOT 5 stories high... he was about 4-5 feet above the ground dangling by his feet..... FOR about 15-20 minutes.

Next thing I know, he's on his feet for the next half hour : fixing his pants, "urinating behind a blanket" for like 10 minutes, drinking water.

He's supposed to be peeing through a TUBE for christsakes...! I don't care about the repercussions of his actions... I'm not the one that committed myself with full advertence of consequences. And I'm sure as hell not going to feel any more sympathy for such a person more than I'd feel sympathy for someone strapping on freshly cut bloody meat and jumping into a tank full of Great Whites (sharks)...

Then resumes hanging while the females swoon and gush "OH look how blue his eyes are...", "Oh look how cute he is...".... While others stand in disbelief "Oh my God...! How could he do that...? *gasp*" and those who saw him standing for that extended period were all sympathetic.

I'm sorry. That's cheating. You can't do it, you can't do it.

Simple. Don't expect sympathy for any illness you brought upon yourself through your idiotic, fruitless, risk/danger inclined claim. That has nothing to do with me.

After the first break he should call it quits.

I don't care that your eyes are bloodshot and you have a headache. Naught to do with me.

Below are the pics...


Quaina and I have just arrived...
Zoomed up pick from a distance... at first we were trying to
figure out where he was..
realized we had to look closer to the ground,
than up in the air.
BTW the structure isn't even 5 stories...
Unless they meant 5 midget stories.
We're wondering why is he talking,
to the media so much..
and so many fans.
*perks eyebrow*


I persuade her to go closer to the guy...
So we go close.
His head is horizontal in a head rest...
and he's alternating his legs,
giving them occasional breaks.
*ahem* he said 60 hours upside down...
How does horizontal enter the picture?


Ow it hurts it hurts...
Boo hoo hoo...
I'm kidding.
He's adjusting his straps.


More adjusting...
Dash sensationalist...



Oh puh-lease...
Shall I even comment?
I would do this without
needing to notify the media.
Infact, that looks hella comfortable.



Dangle.. Dangle..


Bu...bu...but...
Um...
You're standing David.
Awfully stable too for someone
who's not supposed to have any
feeling in your legs.
*perks eyebrows*



Stall for some time...
Fix his pants...


The other guy's hand really was
in his pants...
All over... in his pants...



Minutes trickle by...



*gasp*
He's doing it again..




Two words.
One meaning.
WHAT... EVER.
*rolls eyes*
Shelli is not impressed.


I'm sorry... after knowing the absurd punishments as a kid from back home.. having to stand with your hands in the air indefinitely without break, much worse, with a chair in the air in the hot sun on the lawn.... LYING DOWN with ropes is all goody goody and exciting for these sensational thrill loving Americans who are uncertain about what they're aiming for... but THIS is cheating.

***

Chuts.

I'm learning the train station. 6 Train runs on Lexington. Central park is on 59th with the D train, 5th Ave... 6 brings me to 59th & Lexington.. I had to walk over Park Ave, Madison Ave, umm.. and one more... I can't remember what comes after Madison.. and then I land at 5th Ave... Delightful. I love the city.

Aside from that... Central Park was beautiful. We sat on the rocks by the pond/lake... watched the pretty duckies... I shall take some pics next time I go.. My memory card got filled with ... stupes... Oh and he was on the platform again when we were leaving...

Shelli out.
***

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She hit the main stage... she made the people say - "Yeahhhhhhhh"

By 2:12 PM , , , ,
I miss my little woof woofs.

On my way to building 23, I saw the most adorable big white fluffy dog at the end of the block walking with its owner in my direction. This quickly help me get over my guilt over making my final art purchase... (which was an absolute necessity... it's a sketchbook filled with black paper, so I could finish up the pieces that require techniques on black paper... MUAHAHAHAHAAA... my repertoire is complete. Now I shall go forth and reproduce... digression complete.)

But it caused a new emotion to set in... I stood before the steps to enter the building in complete indecision as whether I should walk down the street and greet the owner and ask to touch the cuteness, or.... m.m.o.b. (mind my own business) and go inside... I looked into the doors of the building, I looked at the dog. Building. Dog. Building. Dog. Building. Dog... *sigh* I went inside.

The security, looked at my sympathetically and asked, "Whats the problem? I know something is wrong.. I saw how you were looking at me indecisively outside...? You forgot your ID didn't you?"

LOL. Actually, I wasn't looking at any one thing inside the building... but... I said, "Naw.. *dips hand in jeans cargo pocket and flashes it* I just miss my doggies..."

She says, "Well.. hmm.. why don't you get a new one...?"

*Eyes widen briefly*... Now even if my doggies had passed away.. that's a rather insensitive thing to say. That's like saying, "Oh your baby died... get a new one..."

I then said, "...nothing like that.. I miss my doggies... It's different having a dog in NY than in the Caribbean.." and walk off to the elevator.

***

On a side note... I feel really weird.

My head feels faint. I ate a hearty bowl of Manhattan Clam Chowder, with wheat bread, coffee and a banana. I also had two snicker mini bars for extra energy boosts. It doesn't feel like it's an energy problem though... Perhaps it's the studying for the library... I wrote 4 (back and front) index cards worth of notes for Political Science... 2-3 hours of writing and research and neck being cricked in one position... that might not sound like much, but considering how small my handwriting gets when frugality (aka save the rain forest/paper conservation) and laziness (desire to have all my notes on one page) kicks in, it's atleast a couple well typed pages long...maybe like 2-3 at most.

You know... I was in the study pods, which thus far, only seem like a handful in the library. I realized that it took me at least 15 minutes to find it... this is my rationale for why there is atleast one always free. It comes equipped with a comfy sofa-ish chair, which a mobile desktop attachment and the 3 wall (separator) has 4 electric ports to plug in laptops, ipods, etc... The first time I came here last week, I thought it was so nifty an idea....

So this week, I kicked my shoes off. Tucked my feet up. Swerved my comfy movable chair. Laid back and started to delve into my work............

....AND then across the partition in front of me I hear voices. -.- .... A female student talking to someone else about her Spanish teacher giving her a text on the syllabus and how stupid it is... REALLY. I agree.... BUT... *ahem* We are in a place of silence conducive for studying... If I could hear your voice a passageway, studypod, and perhaps another passageway away - trust me - that is too loud. I'm sure she was 8-10 ft away... -.- *exasperated sigh* THEN after she finishes her convo, I resume my work... Next thing I hear a techno radio approaching me. This guy is walking with HEADPHONES on blazing techno or spanish music, I really don't care what KIND of music it was... but it was loud. He goes into the pod right next to me. *SIGH* He turns it down slightly... Then like a memo went out it's ok to play music audiby because someone started playing a game or something loud enough that I could hear... I put on my mp3 to tune them out....

Somehow it's ok to talk incessantly, play music and such and such and such in the library... Perhaps I'm just picking the wrong spots.

I really shouldn't have to suffer like this in a study environment... I don't recall SGU library ever having this problem. You could hear a pin drop in SGU... and the only sounds were the occasional sounds of footsteps, the rustling of pages turning and the occasional printing of paper.


On a good note... I'm going to be swimming. That shall be my fitness activity. I brought up my goggles (knew they would come in handy) and I have to get a shower cap... then I'm good to go. YAY.

Take that any illness coming my way. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

***


I have class at 2.55pm... *sigh*

Good news, thats 10 minutes away... Bad news, it took 6 hrs and 45 minutes for it to become 10 minutes away...

Afterwards I'm heading down to 59th street to go see the crazy guy hanging upside down. Pity I can't throw paper balls 6 stories high. Shucks.

Shelli out.
Holla back young'n TooT TooT

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I see them... jockin jay-z, jockin jay-z

By 9:30 PM , , ,
Lord Jesus please be my savior
Lord knows I got a whole lot of haters
But I... dust 'em off... I dust 'em off
-"I'm on the rock(remix)" Movado feat. Jay-Z


***

So I was walking idly down the hallway of the Baruch building on 23rd (4th Floor) when I remembered that Roxie once told me to always check the bulletin boards. As my eyes scanned the board, I saw other (medicine) school offers, LSAT classes, CPA classes, etc..... then I started to ask myself, "How come I don't see SGU? I see schools in St. Kitts... but none in SGU?"

And then.....


I couldn't help but gleefully whip my camera out and snap pictorial evidence. SGU, Grenada, West Indies. We're on the map... lol

***

School is going pretty good.

I really love my Bio class. I'm considering changing into medicine. According to the SGU ad, it's only four years. *wink*

Today we learned about steroids. Yummy.

Steroids are cholesterol derivatives. There are natural levels of these present in your body like estrogen and androgens.... However, some people take anabolic steroids to build muscle mass.

When a boy hits puberty, the testosterone in his body - regardless of exercise - builds up skeletal tissues. When one takes the anabolic steroids, it helps to build these some more. However, taking anything in excess into the body is hardly healthy.

Anytime testosterone levels are raised in any excess in the body, there are side effects. Whenever an anabolic androgenic steroids are being used, it could result in impotency/sterility, kidney failure, liver failure, mood swings (i.e, rage), bone deterioration and an increase in the risk of getting cancer.

Worse off if you start at a young age.

Phooey...

***

I had a good day. No complaints. Taking everything in stride. Irie mon. Good vibrations flowing.

Positive.


If you get down and you quarrel everyday,
You're saying prayers to the devils, I say...
Say you just can't live that negative way,
If you know what I mean;
Make way for the positive day...
Jah love - Jah love (protect us).
*Positive vibration, yeah! (Positive!)
-"Positive Vibration" Bob Marley

Anyways.. how could I possibly be upset when there are idiots proving far worse could happen when one decides to do things to themselves like... David Blaine. His latest stunt is hanging 6 stories high without a net upside down Central Park for 60 straight hours.

I heard about it on 101.0 radio this morning while getting ready for school. I think my West Indian maco-ciousness (fastness/inquisitiveness) insists that I go camera in hand to squirm in person.

Health risks of what he's attempting to do are limitless... First of all, he's hanging upside down. That's a literal rush of blood to the head. There's going to be a build up of pressure. Gravity takes the blood away from the brain, so that there isn't a build up. Unlike the male nether regions, there's no blood vessel mechanism in the head to control the blood flow if it becomes too much. He could go blind, hemorrage, and such... As for his legs, the heart has to work several times as hard to get blood all the way up there defying gravity. Yea, right. So, the consequent result could be.... since your muscles need oxygen to survive... lets just say they die off one by one.

Idiot. I really don't see the value, or purpose of this...

Idiot.

Read more at the links below...


***



That is all for now.
Shelli Out.

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These are the places where I can feel....

By 6:55 PM , , ,
..Torn from my body..
...My flesh it peels...

...Break...
*echoes*


...



***

I don't remember when last I felt this exhausted. My mind feels hollow and aches at the same time... My body is rested, but my mind is weary...

The only consolation lies in the sole reality that this day too shall pass...

Tough times don't last... but tough people do.

Everything is ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end.

It doesn't matter how many times you fall... its about rising each time after you fall...

That's all.. for now..
***



I cannot take this anymore,
Saying everything I said before,
Right when the answers are so clear...
All these words they make no sense...
I found bliss in ignorance.
Nothing seams to go away....
...Over and over again
Just like before...

Everything you say to me,
One step closer to the edge...
And I'm about to break.
-"1stp Klosr" LP

***

Shelli out.

P.S. I posted a number of Postsecret secrets on the page today.. but I backdated them to scatter it.. click HERE to see them all on one page within the blog.

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Postsecret day...

By 1:06 PM





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Why does a willow weep, when all I see is a tree grow?

By 6:06 PM , , ,
The chromosome divides, multiply and thrive
And the strong survive, and the strong survive

We're lacking something - good
Something good, yeah
...Is this all for nothing?
oh.... Good, something good, yeah
-'Darwin' 3EB

***

I'm trying to inspire myself into finishing my paper. Yesterday I hit a peak with my happiness levels... I haven't been that high in a while, and I think I got stuck there. I was so hyper happy I could hardly contain my excitement for anything... I was so excited I could hardly focus on my work, but I was so unbelievably optimistic about everything, and confident that I would finish what I needed to do, I wasn't worried.

I'm ready to pop this bubble of mine. I need something humbling, because I can't focus... and that's driving me crazy... Is this all for nothing? Something good?

***

I have so much to be happy about. I finished my first paper. Bus1000, I hope I do well.

I'm getting two of my pieces published in the WAG anthology. A part of me is nervous because well, I may think my work is good... but who's to say others would like it too? Furthermore, one of my pieces is controversial...

I bought pretty, new art supplies... yummy.

ok... so my high is coming down...

***

Nah tek worries.

Shelli out for now.



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Postsecret day...

By 12:51 PM



"What I love...walking down the street, music in my ears. I feel free!







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I'm on the go.. I'm on the go, but bad mind ah try to stop me now...

By 11:12 PM , ,
I'm chill.

I can't say I feel infinitely more stable now than before. But what is life without a little excitement? What I can say is that I can see a bit clearer. With new found clarity one can chart new paths in the hopes of bringing about some solutions... right?

So with regards to school, things are looking more optimistic. I could feel my awkwardness and reservations lifting from my soul. I just finished my first paper that's due tomorrow. It was mostly finished yesterday, I went to see my professor today to see if I was on the right path and she said it was so fine. It's so weird writing essays again. I was a strong essay writer. *correction* I am a strong essay writer, I will get my confidence back. *correction* I am getting my confidence back.

***

I'm not sure if I told my "how I ended up on the pending list to get my English credits transferred".

I had to do an English placement exam prior to starting my classes. It's mandatory to do English courses and it's also school policy not to generally accept foreign English credit transfers.

Hoping that it would speed up the process of getting my name into the system, ie, getting my prerequisites into the system so I could register officially, I did a walk-in. When I went to the English department at Baruch to find out which dates are available sooner, than what was on my ticket, they informed me that I could just walk-in. So I did.

I was nervous. It flashed through my head the possibility of not doing all that great. It was an option question on a persuasive/opinionative essay. I was an English teacher... that could hardly reflect good on me.

After I finished the exam, I still had to end up doing the ticketed exam a week or so later. *mutter grumble mutter*. The second exam was considerably more depressing a topic than the first. I'm not even sure which exam was marked - the first or the second, or perhaps both.

The professor who marked the exam, called me and inquired that I come see her. When I went, she told me my writing was very strong and I don't need the English classes that they have... and that she will allow the transfer of ALL of my credits. All I would have to do, more for my personal development, is a Literature in Translation course. I informed admin of this, here I met opposition... With the assistance of my dad, sourcing my course descriptions from back home, I was able to prove that I did cover the college level English courses so I could get my courses transferred despite not doing a course inherently titled "English". She even wrote an email to Admin, and sent me with her card for the Admin people to contact her.

I still have to go check on these disorganized folks to see whether my credits have started being processed or what...

So there we have it. I still have flair... and my boss was right to recognize my competence despite my laziness/reservations about my ability in English, on a level suitable to teach students.

***

You know... on a side note. For all of those who thought T.A.M.C.C. was bad and horribly disorganized... Imagine that Baruch, a reputable is school, is just as horrible if not worse. Since I've been here, every student I've encountered thus far has some horror story about their credits that haven't been transferred as yet (and it's not their first term), or mass credits that weren't transferred, and lost documents such as transcripts.

As Russel would say... le sigh.

***

I'm feeling slightly exhausted. I believe my sugar levels are running low. That's code for "Go drink some orange juice" and then go to bed.

***



No compromise...
No compass
comes
with this life,
Just eyes....
So to map it out,
You must look inside...
....Sure books can guide you...
...But your heart defines you...
Life is nothing but a beach chair

Shelli out.
I hear my angels singing.

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Like mountains round Jerusalem... so is Emperor Salassi I... around I and I and I and I...

By 1:46 PM ,

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Postsecret day...

By 12:27 PM




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For years I've held it all together, but a night like this... is begging to pull me apart.

By 2:32 PM ,

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Cuz you look so good... tell me why you wanna work here?

By 7:23 PM , , ,
OooOoo I can't believe it...
She hit the mainstage..
...she make the people say "yeaaa...yeahh"
-"Can't believe it" T-Pain

***

Today was chill. Literally.

I feel unprepared for the cold. *correction* I feel like I keep underestimating the cold. *shakes head* I don't know how these people do strap tops in this weather. They must not have blood or something in their bodies.

Anyways nothing much to report on.

School was alright today. I had one class. I came better prepared, i.e., I did some reading on the train ride there, ate breakfast, got a good night's rest. Turns out these things work.

Tonight I plan to sit down and will myself to finish my paper off.. at least most of it.

This weekend I'm going to figure out a nice student diet plan, sleep plan and study plan. I'm going to find a way to program myself and make it work.

C'est tout.
I'm going to go chill now...
*snaps fingers rhythmically*
Shelli out.

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Make it secure...

By 7:40 PM
Heraclitus

***

A friend and myself were musing to each other about our lil' struggles recently and how difficult it seems to make progress. It feels as if you're rowing for hours at sea, our to move mere inches the harder you try.

We realized, as Liz put it, we were rowing in the same boat struggling a while now, and failed to see each other. The more I think about it, we're not

I guess when you have a fixed idea of what you want it's difficult to move slowly and through the usual protocol to get to that desired destination. Even though I have to learn and master all these new things... it's frustrating because I want to know it now and get it over and done with and be ever so closer to where I want to be...

I was complaining about my courses and how intimidating it seems as it's more or less new things... I never touched American Gov't before. This isn't significantly important to us islanders where I come from... We could care two hoots about the intricacies and political history about American politics aside from vague references skimmed in history class. Now I have like 2 & 1/2 hours per week dedicated to this alone. Then I started doing Philosophy as well...

I must admit, despite all my reservations and struggles with my subjects thus far, I feel like I'm learning. And all this means is that I'm not doing enough work on my own like I should be doing... and if I'm honest with myself, I know I haven't put my best approach to these classes. Now that I recognize this... I can do something about it.

So Heraclitus... as I learned in my Philosophy class was a philosopher who believed that you couldn't go to the same river twice, much step in the same river twice.

Since the water is flowing and is comprised of many particles, after that initial step, those particles have long flowed along and mingled elsewhere, separated, joined, deposited in other areas. He believes that the sun isn't the same everyday, nor is the moon, nor are the trees, or anything...

I'm not sure if this would be interpretting it and taking it too far, but it's like life is always in constant motion... nothing remains static - ever. Therefore, change is happening, every single second of every minute of every hour of every day, etc.

Gives a whole new spin on Martin Carter's poem... which I can't seem to remember what it's called or if my next words are accurate but - you change with the change that changes you, yet remain unchanged.

Every day is a new day, new in a every way. A new opportunity to deal with a situation that is different, even if in the minutest of ways... and if we should look for these minute cracks to find handholds and footholds to hoist ourselves out of the situation, we'd find progress.

And there will be progress... and even if it's a long tedious progress, it's progress nuntheless.

That knowledge alone, should inspire one to keep going.

***

So now with this new yet old philosophy on life... comes a new maturity and understanding in the fluidity of life. Trust that literally, and figuratively, this day too shall change. This moment can't last forever. This story can't have a fixed ending determined by the past lest you decide to let the story end like that.

Shelli is done musing to herself.
Shelli out.



Holding Firm - Sizzla

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Postsecret day...

By 12:12 PM




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I'm going to send a little rain... your way

By 8:52 PM , ,
Oh my god...
this hurts like hell.
I had that dream again
Where I was lost
...for good in outerspace
So tell me doctor,
how to shake
A waking a nightmare...
that is only worse...
When I am sleeping
-"Kill the messenger" Jack's Mannequin

***

Yea yea yea... you swear it's not you, it's someone you used to know... blah blah blah.

I seek solace in the knowledge that karma is a b*tch on training wheels.

Today was exhausting... I had a 6 hour break between classes. I must have been an idiot to not see this being a potential issue when I was planning my class schedule. It's thoroughly depressing to be in school for so long... studying, or trying to find something to keep you awake.

Also, I discovered playing with Pandora's box isn't that fun afterall. In a quiet corner, I find out more than I ever dreamed of...

Now if only all this information excess was of some academic value....

And since it isn't it shall be disregarded and discarded as unimportant...

Explanation - I Demand One Demotivational Poster


Just remember like our faithful ex-PM used to say...

"Brothers and Sisters... what goes around, comes around..."

Shelli out.

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Postsecret day...

By 11:13 AM




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You see me... Hi hater

By 11:09 AM , , , ,
I think I just like to think too deeply about unthinkable things.

That's my problem... yes yes... I just like to think too much.

Ever feel out of your element but not quite? Ever feel like there's so much more you could be doing, but you're doing what you can... and it still doesn't feel like enough?

There's so much I want to achieve this term... Adjusting back to college is... well it's awkward being on the other side of the classroom now. I find myself even more quiet in the classroom not because of shyness but for the reason of not wanting to offend the professor when things are said that make my eyebrows raise... Or perhaps, in some instances, it is shyness because I feel as if I should know the material already even though I never did it before - because I was a teacher, regardless that I never taught the subject or desired at the point of initial college days to do the subject.

And I still don't know what I really want to do.

I wanted to be a lawyer so badly... but now it just seems like a nice big compromise to my principles, of course it would depend on what area of law I go into... but yea.

oOOoOoo... I'm going to practice being a Life Coach. My godsister Devian, wants me to come practice with her church's youth group. I've been invited to come give a talk when I so desire and am ready.

I have a paper to write on the legalisation of Gay marriages, whether or not it's a violation of the constitutional rights and etc etc. Oh joy.



Anyways, that ends my mini-morning Sunday rant.

Only positive vibrations for the rest of the day..

Shelli out.

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If I could be your angel..

By 8:30 PM ,
So... backtrack a little... I'm still super tired. School is exhausting.

***

Yesterday was the NFL kickoff concert in Central Park/Columbus Circle.

I had my first class, Political Science (7.50-9.05 am) and afterward I decided to explore Manhattan a little.. or rather try and find Manhattan Mall on 34th St. (I was unsuccessful yesterday, and I my luck was not any better today). Somewhere along Staples on 34th and umm... Park Ave.? I think Aquaina mentioned Usher is in Central Park.

Now... my response went like - "He IS?! Where?! How can I get there from here?! OK I'm on my way..!"

I caught the D train to 59th.

As I stepped out I could hear the music from the subway stairs. I was wondering on the train if I'd be able to find the place... But I realized all I had to do was follow the music.

Anyways, right now music and I are just chill buddies. I don't really have any real favourites... but after this concert, it kind of makes me want to go out and buy three new albums, Usher, Keith Urban and Natasha Bedingfield.

Keith loves his fans and his (unfamiliar to me) music has a nice beat.

Natasha... I LOVE her song "A.N.G.E.L." and "Piece of your heart". I heard it for the first time yesterday and I absolutely fell in love...

And Usher... *sighs wistfully* And that's all I have to say...

***

Below are some photos from the concert
taken with my crappy phone camera.
I had too many people in front of me
to take proper pics of the stars
themselves, but at least I could
see the screens right? And every
so often I could glimpse them on
stage when the tall people in front of
me shifted a little.





***

Anyways I'm sleepy.
Good night world.
Shelli out.

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By 9:57 PM
How about this for randomness?

On the way home on the D train, somewhere between 59th St. and 167th (Manhattan-Bronx) there was a woman reading Anita Desai's CLEAR LIGHT OF DAY.

The last time I saw that book was back in Grenada during college days when reading it was mandatory for class... Now as I traverse home there's someone else reading this same book, voluntarily... well at least I think it was voluntarily...

***

I only had one class today.

Political Science 7.50-9.05 am. Afterward I wandered down to 34th St. on a personal hunt for Manhattan Mall.

Aquaina called me and gave me a heads up about an Usher concert on Columbus Circle on 59th....so I rushed up.

I'll write more about it tmrw.

Nite.

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