And everything he touches will be golden...

By 5:43 PM , ,
The whole truth and nothing but the truth
Stop me if you've heard this one before
The whole truth is nothing but a good excuse
So long as you don't torture me with my past
Let's be honest; a secret silenced is a secret safe
-"Miami" TBS


***

Who's the masquerader now?

I feel like my exterior
Unintentionally mocks who I am.
Goading me to do something,
Prove it different.
The skin that I'm within is
Old and aged and worn,
Ready to slither off and reveal
the newness underneath.
It's but fear of the unknown
The uncertainty of this altered destiny
That keeps my quick fingers,
Duck taping the tears as revealed.
The innocent exterior,
Shiny enough to blind,
But those who pay attention see the scratches
Along the reflective surface.
As my words slip past my lips,
Betraying a truth I wasn't trying to hide.
It's not living on the edge,
If you're right on schedule.
Right?

***

R&S
Girl says (5:04 PM):
lol
i made poli sci my b*tch today

Boy says (5:04 PM):
seems like someone's turning out to be quite the young lady

Girl says (5:04 PM):
and i tapped that a** on the table
LOL

Boy says (5:05 PM):
well scratch that young lady comment, more like young pimp but I guess somehow it equates

Girl says (5:05 PM):
lol
i blame boondocks

Boy says (5:06 PM):
your new rave eh

Girl says (5:07 PM):
lol i blame my cousin

Boy says (5:07 PM):
and he's the supplier to your new drug

Girl says (5:10 PM):
damn straight

Boy says (5:11 PM):
tsk and to think some people thought it was the American culture that would change you


***

Shelli out for now.

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I'm a...i'm a diva

By 12:11 PM , ,
You act like I just got up in it
Been the number one diva in this game for a minute
I know you read the paper, the one that they call a queen
Every radio round the world know me
Cause that’s where I be

I'm a...I'm a... diva...
Na na na diva is a female version of a hustla
-Beyonce

*perplexed face*

Moving along...

***

So it's been a long while....

Right now I'm in the library. I should be studying but my late night, last night is catching up with me. My large coffee is leaving, and just the weird buzz remains... you know like skating on the edge of thin ice.

Today was my last class... of my first semester back since my 2 year break.

So.... my half conscious post write now shall be callleeeeeedddd....... wait for it...
...

....
...
.........

...

...

What I've learned, being back at college :

Life Lesson #6: Pay attention to instructions


I've learned that no matter how complicated the professor... American professors(or all professors) are very clear about what they want/expect. If you pay attention from the get go, and play by the rules, there's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't get an A.

I realized that late. None of my classes were particularly hard. It's just that I was not paying full attention to the system and placing my focus accordingly. For eg., many American professors differ from school back home in that for some bizarre reason they love multiple choice exams. Anyone who's been through the English system, or CAPE, learned that they don't give two hoots about M.C.... the entire CAPE exam is writing and more writing... You learn how to write 4+ pages in an exam. Whereas, over here, they focus more on M.C. To me, M.C. exams require a more detailed throrough study as opposed to mere understanding of basic theories, supported with selective (supporting) details.

If you understand this from the beginning and wrap your head around it... things are easier.... which brings me to the next point... of studying..

Life Lesson # 7: Start studying early.... why yuh lazy so and so not studying every night huh?

This technique is more a tool for college, not just applicable to prepare for m.c. exams. Reality is, if you're doing a little revision every night from day one. Then you're studying as opposed to cramming. The work ends up being stored in your long term memory as opposed to there up until two minutes after the exam has passed. That way, you actually learn something. Some how, I have the most ridiculous notion that the purpose of college and university is to learn the skills and material that will last with you and be helpful with your career choice. Not, have a degree on paper, but only remember a fraction of the material.

Ofcourse, it helps if the teachers are interesting and passionate about the subject. My Bio teacher made it very easy to get interested and stay awake during classes because he made the subject so much fun, and practical. Everything was related to how it affects us as individuals and how simple things that happen within the body are not complete rocket science.

My 7.55 am class was a pain, because it was so early and I was always late... but in my most waking moments that was interesting too.. The prof was very passionate about Political Science... and really tried to convey this passion to us... Perhaps, if I drank more coffee in the morning, and actually did my readings prior to the lesson, and overall, came more prepared for class, I would've done better. However, like Bio, I remembered certain topics, such as welfare and the Judicial branch of government, that was discussed in class almost vividly because of my interest(in law and some politics) and background (coming from a 3rd world country...). However, some parts were frustrating because I don't agree whole heartedly with some of the American ideals. It sounded like a nation of scared, confused people that are so caught up with having rights that they found even better ways to trap and delude themselves in some not-so-free ways unlike other democracies......but that's another story.

Point I'm trying to make is... try to find something that is interesting about the course. You're doing it for a reason, whether mandatory or optional, and so long as you're there might as well make it worth the while....so making a special effort to find a topic of interest, or angle of interest, helps to keep the focus and retain more in class.

....

This will have to be continued.... my coffee buzz is wearing off now... now I just feel like seconds away from my head hitting the desk.

Ciao for now...... till later on tonight or this week.
Deuces...!

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I trust less than I admitted.

By 11:49 PM ,
You and your series of odd events.
Honestly, I could explain...

***

But I've,
heard it all before...
Baby this..
Baby that..

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The behind the scenes of a gathering of wolves at 5 am.

By 7:02 AM
When wolves gather close,
preparing for their next attack,
You must stay quiet...

So you find yourself holding your breath,
till your body screams at you for oxygen...
You then despite the distress let the air out
With tight control,
despite your body's cries...
let it out little by little,
to avoid the sudden "whoosh"
And deep intake "GASP"
sound.

So you sink deeper under the covers,
Like it means something,
Like a child,
Wishing that when you finish praying
over and over and over
It will make a difference.
That there is no impending doom
Looming around...

I open my eyes to the darkness that surrounds,
I could still hear the voices,
It hasn't gone away...
And I start to cry,
Not because this could end badly for me if I say something...
But because I feel helpless,
And uncertain of the magnitude of consequence,
If I do...

So at 5 in the morning.
You camp out in your covers,
Praying for the best,
Knowing the worst....
And wait.

The time before the kill,
And wait...

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By 11:05 PM
Stop telling me to "think positively"

Thinking positively here....
Is like looking at the bright side of a catastrophe.

Shelli out.

Real post later.

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Take a chance...

By 11:14 PM
I saw flurries today. Yippee.. I'm lazy to type so I'll post pics. I promise an update before the week is up...



This is from last week
it was misty out and I was so surprised.
It was with my camera phone...
hence the semi-poor quality.
But yea.

Shelli out

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I temporarily forgot there were better days to come...

By 6:51 PM , , , ,
I got back my results for my exams. Yay...or Boo...

I got an A on the Bio quiz on Monday. I'm not sure how I did on Wednesday, I have a sneaky suspicion I messed up the "write numbers in order" question. I should've written it out full. Oh well, I know better for next time.

Now... for those who said I should be optimistic about exams...

And.... Poli Sci.... Umm... to make myself feel good I shall split the results into two - 30 Multiple Choice questions at 2.5 points each (75%) and an essay worth 25 points (25%). On the essay, I made a couple errors on one of my points but I still did ok, I got 22/25. But, I got full marks on the last essay so I know I could've done better. And then.... -.- ... Along came multiple choice. I took my time, there were only about 6 that I was unsure about. I left the exam optimistic and nervous but by the end of Tuesday my confidence grew... And..... I got 11 wrong. -.- ... 11 * 2.5 = 27.5.. Fortunately the professor gave us a 6 point curve which brought me up from the 60s to a 76. Last time I got 15 M.C. wrong and full marks for my essay.

She made the point that if we're doing poorly we're probably not studying or probably misreading. I think, in my case, I'm just horrible at multiple choice... I mean after doing poorly at M.C. for 5 years that's the only theory I could come up with. After she went through the answers, it seemed obvious... and I felt silly because I knew the right answer for like 8 or 9 of them. I just missed the wording. The other 3 or so, were just facts that I glossed over that I thought I knew but couldn't recall perfect in the exam. Still an excuse is an excuse... and it doesn't change anything... It's just one class. Once I'm done with it I won't have to do it again... Hopefully between my late attendance and C grade average thus far, I don't do too horribly... But I'm learning about optimism and politics - they don't go hand in hand.

I'll study harder... Next exam, the last exam, I will do better. Yes, I will.


***

Now time for my best trick yet. (lol) My-oh -so - interesting- post.

We are doing the lungs now in Biology. Fun stuff. I'm really loving that class.

Firstly, my unrelated note, having an allergy is like having a cold - mucus build up leading to increase in sinus pressure leading to sinus headaches, watery eyes, etc etc. Everything that occurs with a cold because of irritations. So, for all of us who go "no I don't have the cold, it's just allergies", we're right. So tell those cynics, no you don't have the cold it's really just allergies.

So air gets into your body through your nose, or mouth (whichever you're inhaling with at the time). **Breathing through the mouth can result in a sore throat because you are drying out the cells along in an effort to moisturize the air. The air has to to saturated with water. So folks, you really shouldn't breathe through your mouth, lest necessary.** It passes down your trachea, to your bronchi, then to your bronchioles. The bronchioles are surrounded by muscle.

This muscle is needed as a defense mechanism, which automatically contracts (which would prevent toxic gases from being absorbed into the body by contracting around and closing off the bronchioles before gas gets to the aveoli..I think...I need to check it).

Now for the fun stuff. For people with asthma, this muscle contracts the bronchiole, so air carbon dioxide(CO2) gets trapped in the lungs. This results in a build up of carbon dioxide in your blood, and your brain sends a message to your heart saying to pump more blood to get rid of the high level of carbon dioxide in the blood... which is all fine and dandy except for one problem, the CO2 isn't leaving the body, and oxygen isn't entering the body since everything is closed off. This process keeps on going, getting worse and worse. When the carbon dioxide and water mix it creates carbonic acid and your body goes into respiratory acidosis. Your heart keeps speeding up, the levels of carbon dioxide keep increasing, leading to an eventual heart attack.

The asthma inhaler dilates the air passages, so you could breathe again.

On a good note, the professor told us that should someone we know have breathing difficulties generally or go into an attack and we're there - give them caffeine aka caffeinated tea, coffee, etc (not decaf, must be caffeine) because the caffeine dilates the muscles in the lungs, and soon enough the person shall continue breathing normally.

That's enough for tonight. My next post shall be about "People who smoke have a death wish."

***

Shellll-ayyyy out.

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And now I've see... tonight... what I've been warned about.

By 1:33 AM , , , , , , ,
I know I promised a post... I know I promised myself an awesome post... BUT I got caught up painting and I've been super tired. I had two Biology quizzes (Monday and today), a Political Science exam (yesterday), and a Business exam coming up on Friday. It's been hectic...

However, I will make a special concerted effort to write my post that I wanted to do today, tomorrow before the ideas leave my mind.

Oh. I found the most blissful song by Dido. It's called 'See you when you're 40'. I shall post the lyrics and the video at the end of this post, if you're so interested in hearing/reading the lyrics. It's calming and self-explanatory. It's one of those post-event songs where she realizes and sees for the first time all the real flaws that existed, without the hopeful glasses altering her vision.

It made me smile. Dido was tonight's inspirational painting music.

My progress thus far...



At the end, it's going to be two lily flowers in a pond/swamp. The motivation for this piece is based on some ideas I've been posting recently, ie, life is but a swamp with lilies. Or rather, we should aspire to be like lilies in this life. A lily grows despite the ugliness that surrounds it and blossoms into a beautiful flower. We too, like the lily, should make an effort to not bend to the world's evil ways, and strive to be good, and blossom like the lily despite the adversities faced on this journey.

This piece has been taking longer than expected. I started it over the weekend, and I didn't like how it was coming out. However, for the mere fact that I'm doing it on canvas, and I don't want to "waste" a whole canvas sheet... I decided to slow down and take my time. It's not a race...right?

When finished it's going to be my largest oil painting thus far (18 x 24) and also my first painting, oil or acrylic, on canvas since I've been in the States. I have a few oil pieces on canva-paper... and I've been trying to make a special effort to diligently upload pics of my work.

Check it out if you get a chance... My artwork collection blog is called 'I Hope You Take a Piece of Me with You..." and I'm willing to do commissions... If you know someone or you personally would like something done... don't hesitate to email me or something. ( shell.e@gmail.com)

Well, before this post becomes much longer than initially intended and its length registers in my brain... and I start to rationalize typing my original post at this ridiculous hour... I shall depart.

Muah.
G'nite NY & Grenada... and where ever else my readers are from.
Shelli out.



"See you when you're 40" Dido

I've driven round in circles for three hours
It was bound to happen that I'd end up at your
I temporarily forgot there's better days to come
I thought that I would give it just one more chance

Cos' I want, tonight, what I've been waiting for
But I found, tonight, what I'd been warned about

You think that you are complicated, deep mystery to all
Well it's taken me a while to see, you're not so special
All energy no meaning, with a lot of words
So paper thin that one real feeling, could knock you down

And I've seen, tonight, what I'd been warned about
I'm gonna leave, tonight, before I change my mind

So see me when your 40, lost and all alone
being comforted by strangers you'll never need to know
not sad because you lost me
but sad because you thought it was cool to be sad

You think misery will make you stand apart from the crowd
well if you had walked past me today I wouldn't have picked you out
I wouldn't have picked you out

now I've seen, tonight, how I could waste my time
and I'll be on my way, and I won't be back
cos I've seen, tonight, what I've been warned about
your just a boy, not a man, and I'm not coming back

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My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard...

By 8:21 PM
Today was chill.

I'm still super busy with school work. Yes I know, how depressing.

***

On the plus side.... Funny pics





***

Real update by Wednesday.
Shelli out.

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Only in Grenada....

By 7:33 PM , ,
Canada Press

Grenada Cops arrest an American man for celebrating Obama's win.
ST. GEORGE'S, Grenada — A New York man's noisy celebration of Barack Obama's victory landed him in a Caribbean jail.
Police in Grenada say Roy Coutain was honking his horn and relentlessly shouting, "Obama! Obama!" as he drove through the streets of the capital in a car covered with U.S. flags.
He wore an Obama T-shirt - in case his allegiance was in doubt.
Island police arrested Coutain and charged him with disorderly behaviour, obscene language and resisting arrest.
Coutain is from Grenada but has lived in New York state and is a U.S. citizen.
Coutain was recorded on video telling police: "The entire world is excited and you don't want me to celebrate! I voted and I have a right to celebrate!"

Now should you click on the link... you'd see they went so far as to show us the location of Grenada on a map.

Of all the things for us to make news with, we just couldn't help ourselves.

***

Maya sent me some delightfully funny links... I'll post my fave pics below and the corresponding links.









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Ok... so my official-ish election-ish post.

By 9:22 PM
Now I have been super busy recently. Turns out being a student is disastrous to the rest of your social life. I lay on my bed each night with the lingering thoughts, "...I will get up and paint in a moment..." I wake up the next morning. -.-

***

Moving along. Turns out Tuesday was a remarkable day. One that must be marked off on calenders. One that must be entered into updated textbooks.

Here was I moaning and groaning (to myself of course) that all the eventful stuff happened in other eras, nothing good is happening in mine. I was alive to experience the first hurricane to hit Grenada since Janet 50 years back. I am alive to see the huge economic crash that's going on...

My mind flutters back to Tupac's 'Changes' - "...And although it seems heaven sent, we ain't ready yet to see a black president....It ain't a secret don't conceal the fact, the penitentiary's packed, and it's filled with blacks...But some things will never change..."

I guess he was right, up til Tuesday. Of course, the prison situation hasn't changed....BUT Rome wasn't built in a day. America now has a black president. Maybe now that there is a black role model that just proved 'yes you can' do it, we'll see some changes. Pun intended.

***

On Election Day itself... I must be living in one of the 'boring-est' places in NY, that is Wakefield Bx, because nothing happened. Or rather nothing seemed to happen. I woke up late to the sound of my phone alarming. I got up, trudged around the house...got ready for school and left...

...It was warm outside. I saw the occasional person walking along the streets but not much...not even that much traffic. Then again, it was past midday. But the polling station was supposedly right next door in the school.

After class I asked a couple of my classmates what were their views on the election and whom they voted for. To no surprise, my classmates that I asked that I asked all voted Democrat. One of the girls had voted absentee due to originally being from Connecticut and not having had the chance to re-register. I asked them why they voted Democrat, most of them replied that they voted based on the basis of being very liberal. However, two made the point of their parents being Democrats, and having grown up in a Democratic household they just never thought to question it. I met one Asian guy who did not vote because he said he wasn't really that interested in politics, nor was he really following what was going on. I think that's a bit strange, it's almost as if one would have to put in an extra concerted effort not to be even remotely cognizant of the strong campaigning that was happening. It was on tv, the internet - especially Facebook, newspapers, etc... at risk of being cliché, it was what "all the buzz was about" in the media. Anyway, different strokes for different folks, right? One of my male classmates who is Democrat made mention of one of his friends that's just plain out controversial and was overly passionate about Obama for just that one reason. I mean, he said his friend made the occasional valid point, but for the most he was just loving the controversy of it all.

One of my closest friends, Joe, from upstate (Rochester), said he didn't vote because he doesn't think the electoral college is very democratic... However if he was to, he would've voted for Obama hands down because he, my friend, is liberal and "it scares the bejesus out of him, the idea of Palin being a heart attack away from being president." *shudders* Palin would have surely made America the laughing stock of the world. Another friend of mine, Ryan, from Virginia, who was a diehard Republican voted Democrat. He refuses to see this as jumping ship... and me being me, I can't help but relentlessly tease him about his lack of party loyalty. His rationale was that, he wasn't concerned with most of the policies either party was dealing like health care and so forth because it doesn't affect him. He also rationalized that both parties, regardless of who becomes president will have dealing with the economy of their main agendas and are aware of public scrutiny with how it is handled. His deal breaker was that Obama would help to change the perception of Americans outside of the US. America is diverse and open-minded enough to have a black president. He also thought Obama has a more charismatic, soothing persona amidst everything that is happening.

Well.. Obama won... by a landslide. With, not surprisingly, record breaking turn outs from the youths... who said the youths don't vote? :P

Anyways, being an international student and not American I couldn't vote.

My aunt who was Republican, didn't vote. I personally don't believe she was pleased with either candidate, but her rationale was a discrepancy in her address and registration since her recent change of residence.

The street was quiet. Our house was quiet. My aunt was flicking between channels and then eventually went to sleep early.

At that point, I near forgot it was Election day. I remember being in my room Tuesday night trying to study for my Biology lecture midterms the next day, when my dad called me from Grenada all excitedly, around 10-11 pm shouting happily over the phone "Obama won Obama won...! It's not official but he's winning...!" For someone who wasn't American, nor even living in the country, he's been following the campaigning very closely. As have many of my friends from back home. One of which called merely 5-10 minutes after my dad to make a similar announcement. Then my other aunt upstairs called and announced that Obama was president and everyone got up and gathered around the tv waiting for the speech. I walked with my laptop and signed onto Facebook while I waited. All my friends from back home were changing their statuses every 5 minutes like they couldn't decide which words revealed the true intensity of what they were feeling... Overall, everyone seemed so excited at the promise of a change with Obama and that this change would renew the hope with the state of the economy, and its transcending global effects.

I have a friend that came up from Grenada over the weekend that was staying in Brooklyn. She was telling me how crazy it was down there. It looked like there was a carnival going on like we were back home. People in the streets, black, white, latino, etc all making noise and shouting and screaming happily. On the TV, I got to witness the celebrations going on in Time Square... I thought it was touching to see how teary-eyed people were in the crowds. It was one of those "Wow" moments. One random woman told a brief story that touched my heart. It brings me back to my quote from Tupac. She said a couple years ago her young black nephew said he wanted to be the President of the United States when he grew up. She said she didn't want to shatter his dream, but nuntheless she didn't want to tell him how absurd a notion it was from her perception of America and who is considered eligible race-wise for certain positions... She says it brought tears to her eyes to see Obama win. She never thought she would see it in her lifetime and her was the proof. Her nephew isn't dreaming the impossible dream.

So... yea... Tupac was wrong.. we are ready. Let's just hope they give him a fair chance to do his job.


Shelli out.

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Yes we did...!

By 12:29 AM
Barack won!!!!!

It sucks not being able to paste multitudes of emoticons here...!

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Yes we can.

By 12:41 PM
Today is Election Day in the US.


Although I haven't stepped foot outside as yet, nor so much as put on a t.v., I feel as if it's my duty to write a pre-post entry on such a momentous day.

What are my views? Who do I want to win?

Now, sad to say, I haven't been following the election that closely nor did I really care for it that much. However, I do believe it's time for a change. Obviously Republicanism is not working too righteously, therefore give the Democrats a chance. I fail to see how the situation could get worse... Well, that's a lie. If the Republicans remain, that's a sure fire way to dig the hole a little deeper into middle Earth. Reach new unimaginable depths.

Anyways, I must depart for school.
Joyful, joyful.
Perhaps I shall walk with my camera and capture a couple moments.

hmm....
Shelli out.

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By 11:06 PM
There seems to be an error in my template html... *cries* or perhaps it's just my browser... oh the disaster... grr.... *skims through msn contact list desperately looking for daniel..*

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I miss my woof woofs.

By 10:59 PM , ,

Cuddles, and in the background..Cutie

The End.

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It's not that you're good at playing...

By 9:56 PM ,
It's that I'm reluctant to admit I'm wasting my time here...
-Shelli

***

Hopefully hopeful and all that jazz. It's ridiculous.

***

I've been incredibly busy. This is but a quick post... I shall post lengthily tomorrow.

Shelli out.
Midterms suck major.. *ahem*

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Have you ever felt low...?

By 6:57 PM
mm Mm Mm mm...
Let me talk to 'em...
Let me talk to 'em...
mm Mm Mm mm...
Shorty had them apple bottom jeans...
-'Low' Flo Rida

***

I'm in a low mood. I'm confident that it would pass... But that knowledge doesn't stop me from feeling how I feel right now.

Have you ever felt inexplicably sad...? And quiet...? Not necessarily lonely, but wanting to be alone...? And just wanted to sleep the day away...? But you don't feel you deserve to sleep because there's just so much more you could potentially be doing with your wake time...? Papers to write, courses/material to study, yet you just can't summon the energy or willpower to do anything. To want to do anything... because you just feel low..?

I feel perhaps maybe I've been too positive over the past couple of days... My cup runneth over with sheer positive thoughts and good vibrations... (lol)

A friend of mine was worried about the Business exam Friday and I convinced her she could do it despite obvious hindrances, and I convinced myself I could teach myself the material... And I did. I didn't fully grasp the concepts in class, but between using the textbook and getting Russel to walk me through and fine tune little concepts here and there, I got it. But the exam was a disaster. I felt so optimistic about the first exam and I did so horribly. Now I'm sure I was more thorough for this one, yet all my optimism has exited through that exit *points* stage left. (Snagglepuss)

Then the day before I made a special effort to get to school early... That is I tried to get up at 4.30 am to leave by 5-5.30... to make it to school on time for my 7.55 am class. My aunt woke me by accident, fortunately or unfortunately, at minutes to 6.30 or 6.40... I can't remember... All I know is that I reached there half an hour late. I was so annoyed... And I really tried.

Perhaps I'm not trying hard enough... yes yes... that must be it.

***

Sigh... Oh well...

On a plus note, I was craving junk food so I went to the deli 'round the corner and got me some.... cheesy popcorn, onion rings, snickers, marshmallow treat squares, cake and Italian ice. I finished the popcorn, onion rings, half of the cake slice and I'm going to be moving on to the Italian ice in a minute.

Bleh.

***

I've lost my zest to finish this post.

Perhaps I shall write a fresh one with my new philosophy on life as I intended to do days ago (but I've been so busy)... Anyways...

A humble Shelli,
Out.

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Calling all widget addicts....*edit*

By 10:48 PM
Isn't it amazing how interactive sites are becoming these days?

Little by little everyone is joining the wagon of getting technologically advanced... Some of us are creating blogs for our businesses to market our companies as being more people friendly...Others are creating interactive software that you can embed very easily into your blog/website/facebook/myspace (etc) called widgets.

A very popular magazine, Reader's Digest, has joined along to "get with the program". The site now features several widgets such as:

Word Power: It reminds me a bit of wordchallenge, for those who have facebook. You could challenge your friends in it as well.

Daily Laughs: have daily jokes in the form of cartoons, photos and videos from RD.

Prop my photo: This is targeted for Facebook users. You can have fun with your pickets and download the application on your profile page. A fun easy way to share pics with your friends and family. You could also enter the RD funny photo contest. Click here RD Laughs Main for more info.

Toolbars: For information junkies with IE or Firefox, you can add the toolbar and have a world of articles right at the click of your mouse button.

Here is one that fascinated me.... challenge me... I dare you.

Take the challenge and play Reader's Digest Word Power -- build your vocabulary, boost your brainpower and challenge a friend to beat your score! Our readers love the wordpower game. Where else can you test your knowledge, increase your vocabulary and have fun at the same time? <br>And now you can challenge your friends on word power and try to beat their best score. What are you waiting for? Play the word power game! <br>

To get this widget, and more... visit the widgets and download pages on ReadersDigest.com Widgets.
Add them to your blog...facebook...where ever your fancy is... It's fun...!



Post?slot_id=22422&url=http%3a%2f%2fsocialspark

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A girl like me...

By 8:15 PM ,
I was reading a review about Lost in Translation and I stumbled across this vid..



You could check out the post "The Modern Face of Racism" and how it integrates the clip in here...

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Fortunately for you...

By 5:20 PM , , ,
Life Lesson # 5: Racism is stupid.

***

...I was brought up a peaceful child,
and not brought up in a land of warriors.

***

Where Bubba Grew Up, Kept his tobacco chewed up,
And when they used to hang ropes, they always kep two up,
Had crosses burnin all night like the church blew up,
And if you didnt look like them, they would f*ck you up.

Time passed, and Bubba turned 40 years old,
And all them Jack Daniels started taking a toll,
Seem like Bubba was about to make a final bow,
None of his friends from the clan couldnt help him now.

Family gathered at his bedside, ready to sing the blues,
When the doctor rushed in and said "Ive got some news!!!"
"The good news is, Bubba, Ive found you a liver, only bad news is, it belongs to a Nigger"

Do you still care, about the texture of his hair or the cocoa brown colour of his skin,
Do you still care, do you still give a damn now you're in the predicament you're in,
Do you still care, does it still mean a lot now,
You're the one who's needin the help,
Do you still care, do you still find it hard to love your neighbour as you love yourself now,
Tell me why cant you accept me as I am,
Just as I am now.

...And thats the reason why, war cant cease,
If yuh nuh look like me, me ago pop mi piece,
And thats the reason why we cant get along,
If yuh nuh do it my way then you doin it wrong,
And thats the reason why, Iraqui babies gonna cry,
And more Palestinians and Isrealies gonna die,
Thats the reason why the world is in pain,
We say we want peace fi reign, but a bullets again,
Now tell me why cant you accept me as I am,
-'Do you still care?' Tanya Stephens


***

You know, I realize in order to reach that peak of compassion I'll have to let go of some things.

I thank my parents for being who they are and for being my parents. This I believe was not coincidence... For had I not been their child, I would not have grown up and lived through the experiences that have shaped me into the person that I am today.

Because of my heritage, it's difficult for me to truly understand several concepts or theories that many people still cling to (absurdly) in this day of modern living. For example, racism. Now, I'm not going to go all out and state that I have never made of laughed a racist joke or encouraged a stereotype, but for the most part I try to stay clear of it. Why should we cling so dearly to the colour of skin as a monumental issue when there's so many more important severe issues at hand.

I was talking to my God brother Boni earlier and I was asking him if he was going to vote. He said no. I asked him why not. He said because he, as one person, would not make a difference and we need to be changing the world not America. We need to heal global perceptions.

Now I beg to differ. Right now, America is still the current super power. The crash of their economy is creating Earthquakes across the globe. One reasonable step would taking a chance and vote for the lesser evil in the elections. America cannot endure another 4 years under a regime that follows Bush. The world cannot endure such either...

Now the issue here is not my God brother Boni and his willing to vote or not. It's not whether America has a great influence of the world...

The point of my rambling today comes down to racism.

People have been walking around in self-delusional perception that racism doesn't exist. The main issue I'm hearing... what it all comes down to is white man vs. black man in this elections....

Sure we're tuned in every night watching the debates... but many people are closet racists. Hundreds of years after the abolition of slavery the racist philosophies still persist in the hearts and minds of people . I'm not saying all Americans are racist, mind you, I'm saying many more are racist than those that are openly admitting that they are.



Those people, be it in reality, a majority or a minority (we'll see in November), are not judging Obama and McCain on the basis of their policies and beliefs fairly... the deciding factor is skin colour. They are spending time looking for faults... God forbid a black man rule over a white mans country. *rolls my eyes*

As an artist, the shades I see are merely to enhance my perceptions and colour my soul to convey my message to the viewer. I don't discriminate against my purple pencil crayon anymore than my green pencil crayon. I may not use them all as much, but I love all my colours.

Each race has gone through their fair share of racial prejudice... so I'm in no way advocating that Black prejudice is the only one that should be recognized.

However, what I am saying is... get over it already.



You are not indian, black, white, whatever... purely. No race is pure today... and if you so want to debate semantics, races aren't real. We don't discriminate against dogs... we pick them based on functions and purposes. But we don't hate on puppies for being white and black dalmations, or brown labradors, or one blue eyed huskies. We see them as dogs. Likewise, lizards... we see an iguana - we say a big lizard. We see a bearded dragon - big lizard. We see a gecko - small lizard. They are all collectively lizards. We don't criticize them for being inherently something thats coded in their dna.

Likewise, people are people.

And since we're supposedly such religious based people... because on some level, at some point we want to be spiritual...

So ask yourself... what would Jesus do? What would Mohammed do? What would Vishnu do? Who ever you believe in... would they condone your prejudices? Your destructive beliefs? Your attempts to take away from harmony and unity in God's society... Your attempts to fuel the destruction of His/Her ideal plans...?

Does this bring you closer to God? Does it make you sleep better at night?

People... let it it go already.


***

Had many people had their way... I wouldn't be here today. I'm sure I am not the only person with such a testimony.

The knowledge of my heritage and the pride of being fused with so many cultures has helped me to see the world through colourful lenses with a smile, as opposed to artificially colour stained lenses... I've met so many wonderful people throughout my life thus far, black, white, mixed, indian, etc... All special in their own way... And I assure you what made them special had nothing to do with race. And if we had problems, it had to do with issues of being human, not issues of skin pigment.



I'm not sure how well I typed this all out...
It's just something that entered my mind based on something that just happened at home here. Nothing to do with race... But let's just call it flashbacks, to a flashback, of a flashback to a time when racism did exist.


Shelli out.
Leave any comments have you any.

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Are you... lonely tonight?

By 7:54 PM
Natasha Bedingfield said it perfectly in 'Soulmate', if everyone has a soul mate and there's one for every one, why is she still on her own? Why indeed?

I hardly think she's unique in her dilemma. The reality is whilst there are so many couples out there, lining the benches, walking the streets hand in hand, sitting on the lawns with their picnic baskets looking annoying adorable, there are so many more singles out there.

One of the main reasons we tend to notice how many couples are there and the level of their cuteness is from the mere fact that we're not a part of such a union... at the moment.

Of course, with the rise of technology there are so many different avenues to cut through all the protocol and the hunt and find exactly what you're looking for, especially with the increasinly hectic lifestyles. Think the 'Do you like pina coladas?' song. In the song, the guy replies to a column in a newspaper where the female listed what she likes and what she's looking for. No longer do you have to hunt through classifieds... The hunt has been made simple with True.com... and unlike many of the other popular online dating services like match.com the service comes with no charge.

True not only helps with the search, but they recognize that even though they could bring you to the individual, sometimes the wrapping may imply a safety that doesn't exist. Mind you, this isn't true of just finding a date online, you don't always run a background check on every person you come across on your daily walks of life. With True, you are able to control who can see your profile. There are proactive processes that ensure safer, smarter dating. There are a host of articles guiding you and explaining various safety tips and suggestions with regards to dating and making one aware of the existing risks... and if one is too nervous, there's always the option of going on a virtual date. (Those can be just as adorable and twice as safe...)

Thus, I conclude, whats the worse that could happen in totality? You remain single all the days of your busy life... At the very least, it's impossible to not meet someone you atleast share some interest and click with... And for the very best, you could meet your true love.

...And that, isn't what we're all seeking after anyways?

...And it won't even cost you a penny....you could search for free.



Post?slot_id=22657&url=http%3a%2f%2fsocialspark

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One by One

By 1:54 PM , ,
"One by one" Ky-mani Marley and Cherine Anderson
(I translated by ear... so pardon any mistakes)


What am I to do today...
So that I could leave,
this world tomorrow?
...Knowing I've done all that I could,
To heal the wounds, and lift all the sorrow...

Well, let righteousness
Be your guiding light,
And let love keep you warm
All through the night

Oh...
Maybe one by one,
We could see that something
Can be done...
With a little piece
From everyone
We could make a stance,
We could heal this land...

Jah is my inspiration,
My dedication,
My motivation,
Ways to heal the nation..
Rasta music is my only occupation
So to Babylon I have no obligation.
...Check the situation
Political manipulation
While the youths of the land en have an education,
So to prune tribulation
We burn segregation
And revelation will bring our redemption..
Ey

Oh...
Maybe one by one,
We could see that something
Can be done...
With a little piece
From everyone
We could make a stance,
We could heal this land...

What am I to do today...
So that I could leave,
this world tomorrow?
...Knowing I've done all that I could,
To heal the wounds, and lift all the sorrow...




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The sweetest taste of sin....

By 7:54 PM
It's not the way you walk,
It's not the way you talk,
It's not your beat up car
-you definitely ain't no supastar,
It's not the clothes you wear,
It's not your nappy hair,
It's not your gangsta flex,
Baby... it's all about the
-Tanya Stephens "Boom wuk"


***


The Hidden City Cafe

I discovered this cute little basement cafe recently. It has such lovely ambiance. I believe its like 24th St. & between Park & Lexington Ave... or somewhere there about... If you stand in front of the Vertical Campus of Baruch on Baruch Way you see it across the road.

It's a halfway basement cafe. I say halfway because even though its in the basement, I mysteriously still get cellphone signal.

Anyways, it's cozy and cute. So far, I've experimented mostly with their reasonably priced soups. Thus far, I've had Lobster Bisque, New England Clam Chowder, Manhattan Clam Chowder, Chicken Noodle, Chicken and Vegetables. I absolutely love their New England Clam Chowder... so as long as I could get that on the menu I don't look at much else. Oh, I sampled their Cream of Carrot - that's quite sumptuous too. I bought a poppy seed bagel with cream cheese, ham and a slice of American cheese and it was delicious.

With regards to the ambiance, you have the option between sitting at a table with the normal chairs, or claiming a booth. The lighting is warm and welcoming...nice lamps at the side. The employees are very friendly, service with a genuine, sincere-looking smile. If their cups said "We're happy to serve you" like the busy-body guy's (that I think robbed me two dollars with my coffee and bagel) coffee cup says, I would believe.

I usually claim a booth up to the front. There aren't that many customers there so one whole booth to myself is hardly an inconvenience... and there's two rooms of chairs and booths. I like to be on the right side. The photo I have above was taken with my phone camera from one of the booths. There's these partitions with a swan engraved on the glass. The lights are surround by canvas cylinders. It's so pretty... Perfect for relaxing, studying, reading a book/newspaper, a lil' get together for a chat, or just to have a pensive moment to yourself.

I adore it. Absolutely. I implore you visit someday.

Here are some more reviews...

***

Tmrw is school. Bleh... I find these Jewish holidays are a real set up. Fall smack in the middle of the week, every week... I mean, I like the days off and all... BUT I'm in college now. I wanna learn the most I could in my one semester as opposed to half due to time/lesson limitations...

Corny isn't it?

That's what happen when you get into your classes.. *mumble grumble* vacation time gets in the way of your intellectual growth.

***

Oooo.. I just got signed up for socialspark and payperpost... we'll see how that goes. I love bloggginnnnnggggg... let's see if my passion for it balances off and my blogger voice gets recognized... (lol)

***

Shelli out.
Yay.
Happy voice.

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Everybody get random...

By 5:03 PM , , , , , ,
Ey, Facebook is a kinda ting eh? A jus dey browsing good good an nex ting ah jus dey stumbling upon d births of d juiciest scandals... wha kinda ting is dat? I fine ppl need to b real careful wha dey postin dey eh... especially if you dun fren dem ppl yuh doh wha see.

***

Life Lesson #4: The universe does not exist in complete chaos... or any kind of chaos for that matter. Because you don't understand something doesn't mean it fails to work due to your lack of understanding.


Life has a funny way of working itself out. I believe the complexities and trials are just there to make it a retrospective exciting memory, some of which take longer to appreciate and find the humour than others, but excitement nuntheless.

It's a cold day in NYC, but then again, what would be a day in Fall if nothing but cold? This is a check that you are living, and the systems of how things are supposed to be and ought to be are working. The bit of discomfort of the cold I'm experiencing is just to reassure my existence and the normalcy that... yea...

When I first came up here, it was interesting. I mean that in all ways, negative, postive, neutral, whatever... Readjusting to being back at school. Having people constantly trying to create little earthquakes and fractures in my path. Learning to manage funds tighter because of the allure of the city makes it necessary.

I lost confidence in my academic ability. I'm doing 4 subjects - Ancient Greek Philosophy, Biology, American Governments and Introduction to Business. I have done a bit of work in all these areas prior to starting Baruch. However, having not been in school for 2 years kind of makes my return a bit daunting.

After much (constant) complaining, I've got the results back from my first set of exams. Not that this is particular unusual for me, but I've seen my errors and how simple they were and I've accepted my grades. I realize most of my errors in the multiple choice was due to glossing over some major points as opposed to taking it seriously. It has naught to do with detailed studying, but more to do with focused studying. You could know a little and do as well at m.c. exams as opposed to being able to b.s. your way through essays. It's about being thorough in the little that you do know, so as to be able to rationalize your points.

I entered those exams with a defeatist attitude. In my Political Science (Amer. Gov't) exam, the questions that were supposedly difficult acording to the professor, when I went through my paper as we were discussing answers - I got them right. I got really obvious answers wrong. If I think back to the day of the exam, I had very low expectations. I practically gave up and made a personal promise to myself to take the next exam more seriously. I got full marks on my essay in the exam. I was so pleased... and surprised. I would've gotten an A+ with the essay alone. I ended up with a C for landing smack on the 50/50 line in the M.C. (which was 75% of the grade). I ended up with 76 which is a C. But I'm not upset... I now how I could've done better.

I got a B+ in the homework assignment. I recognize my faults there. I know how to improve it.

I got an A on my Bio quiz. I'm so pleased... I got 76 (a B or C) last quiz. I studied hard, made a couple more simple mistakes, I ended up with 90. YAY me.

As your Business... my essays are fine, A+ in the last(and only, thus far) one...and 76 in the m.c. exam... Again, I'm working on the problem.

I say life is so funny because sometimes you need to be humbled and be in a bad position to appreciate and understand what a good position is.

One cannot say there is too much chaos in the world. Everyday I realize more and more that the universe has a plan that we're not privy to. Everything balances itself out, despite man's attempts to ruin and destroy in their efforts to make their existence more "pleasing". But there is a method to every bit of madness. It's not pure chaos. It's just chaos because we cannot understand it with hindsight.

I've been through a series of questioning periods... I realized that the universe provides all the answers with time and patience. Thus, it's not whether you find solutions... It's whether you're asking the right questions.

Mmmmm... I love life.

***



Beres Hammond - 'Step Aside' (live version)

***

Ohhh.. and this is a good friend of mine Thamz.... I love her version of the song.. clickety click below and check it out...



Thamara - 'Closer' (cover)

Shelli out...
.....come closer....

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Look at my pweeettyyy Barbie doll colour nails...

By 9:38 PM ,
And now for a moment of vanity....

3 shades...!


I'm so vain.. and yes I know this song is about me....

Shelli

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Pre-ty face an ah bad char-act-ar....!

By 9:00 PM , ,
I had an interesting idea posed to me today by my aunt. I'm not sure why I won't let it go, or why it seems important to me or not.

It seems as if she has very fixed ideas on what is Christian and what isn't.

First of all, every person suits a purpose in the balance of society. Each job is important - I guess not the murderers and thieves (but that's a different story... I think they indicate where the role of society is not functioning properly).

The issue was whether or not models are immoral.

Back home, I was a model. At no point did model ever equate immoral, ungodly slut in my mind. I knew lots of models who were intelligent girls/guys on the straight and narrow with real goals and admirable accomplishments under their belts. And, if they desired to be a full-time model, I didn't see a problem with that either.

Now, this isn't going to be the most in depth, intellectual discussion... but here goes... read on if you may...

Models by dictionary definition is....

a standard or example for imitation or comparison.
2.a representation, generally in miniature, to show the construction or appearance of something.
3.an image in clay, wax, or the like, to be reproduced in more durable material.
4.a person or thing that serves as a subject for an artist, sculptor, writer, etc.
5.a person whose profession is posing for artists or photographers.
6.a person employed to wear clothing or pose with a product for purposes of display and advertising.


A model is a set example or standard for imitation or comparison purposes. The issue was related towards people models... so we're talking of models for clothes, commercials, magazines, all sorts of products, all shapes and such. All of these people are bad...?

Ok, I'm not arguing fairly. She was questioning female models who advertised clothing or wore very little in commercials. I agree to some extent some models may appear to have questionable characters due to the nature of the photo shot and who its for - but that is not for me to judge. However, I do not agree that clothes models, e.g, those who model for Victoria Secrets because they model lingerie makes them immoral. People like to see how things look on other people. Despite how much we wouldn't want to admit it, we are a monkey see monkey do nation.

George Carlin made a point in one of his stand-up shows that the Commandment "Though shalt not covet thy neighbours goods" (...? I'm not sure I quoted this properly.. feel free to correct me...) that that is hardly a valid commandment. (Remember this was in good humour people) He said that coveting is what gets the economy going, i.e, you see your neighbour's car - you like how it looks, drives, economics with gas, perfect - BAM - you want it too.

I agree. These models aren't modelling for the sakes of having people lust behind their bodies. The fashion industry desires to reflect fashion ideals, which have been going in cycles. Thus, "slutty clothing" was "cool" in society's "conservative" existence decades ago. Mini skirts, poom poom shorts/hot pants, crop tops, etc these aren't new concepts. My mom and aunts all wore mini skirts "back in their days" which was a long time ago. Does that make them a slut? No it doesn't. Not in the least. They wore heels too... *gasp* prostitutes wear heels... do you think...?

no... I really don't.

Back to my example, the purpose of Victoria Secret models modelling the season's line is not to have people lusting after their bodies - it is to show how the clothes look on real people. Not just a mannequin or on a clothes hanger.

Based on my little knowledge on the industry, I'm aware that there are even plus size models. Why would you get plus size models and not just buy/make a bigger mannequin...? Because people like to see other people wearing/doing things suited to their character/lifestyles/tastes. God doesn't necessarily enter at this level. This is mere business.

Furthermore, I enquired about Miss World competitions and such... she said that she wouldn't let her daughter do it because, again, it's not moral to reveal so much of your body.

Now, thousands of girls, if not millions, enter competitions from the local levels go right up - applying from the most conservative nations to the most liberal ones with full advertance of the nature of the show. Does it make them immoral to wear bikinis on live televison? Does it make me immoral to wear a bikini on the beach? No.

These competitions on face value stand for with very high standards. I remember the at the local level all the rules regarding whether you're allowed to enter the pagent - must be of a certain age group, never married, never had children, etc. When one wins, you're in a position to advocate some great change in the world. Whether or not you choose to make a moral contribution is dependent on the individual - you can't condemn the entire pagent for it.

I'm not sure if that makes any sense...

If one is dressing conservative, but by night isn't behaving very conservatively with multiples of multiples... then does that mean they are morally correct?

So that brings me back to what I was talking about last post... who's to judge? Sin is sin... and since we are all sinners, we should all be the poster children of advocating positive change and inspiring those around is to better as opposed to looking at something and knocking it as irrationally bad.

Also, you can't not support something and support it at the same time. You can't want to look at the models in the magazines and see whats in fashion, and argue that the girls are misrepresenting their characters. Likewise, the commercials and such.

Don't half-support it in the smarts...

And again, if you feel so strongly about an issue. Not because you are but one means change can't happen... It's only takes one extra to make an even number odd, one extra/less chromosome to bring about deformities, one act of kindness to bring forth and inspire multiple acts... just one.

I implore, be the change that you wish to see in the world.

Listen to those who question your beliefs, because they help to do two things - show you the flaws in your thinking, or strengthen your beliefs, or even more.

I've lost my train of thought again...

All in all I conclude, I doubt it's really modelling that is bad. As I read once when I wrote a post on GaiaOnline against the content on television, the media is merely a reflection of what society is - it isn't what cultivates it. It's not just modelling, it could be being a lawyer, a doctor, an artist, a teacher, a Christian.... it could be anything. There are always going to be a few bad ones amongst the set, but you shouldn't condemn it in its entirety because of the stereotype...

Because if we were to sit down and really check it... we all fall into some stereotype at one point or another.

Shelli out.

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The drums keep pounding a rhythm with my soul...

By 11:59 PM ,
I just saw one of the most poignant films, for the first time, in a long time called 'Boy A'.

The setting is English, the characters (I think) are English and they perform convincingly before the cameras.

Anyways...

'Boy A' is about a young boy who was convicted as a young age for a murder and the story begins at his release.

Tagline: "Who decides who gets a second chance?"

See it here...... Boy A

Read the reviews on IMDB.com (Internet Movie Database)

------


STOP READING NOW if... you intend to watch the film... because the following may/will contain spoilers. Click anywhere here to see the movie...


------





In Boy A, Jack is Boy A. At the age of 14 he was sentenced to jail for being an accomplice to a murder of a little girl.

The story starts when he is released from prison. His mentor/parole officer/social worker helps to create a new life for him in a different city.

He gets a job, makes new friends, gets a girlfriend... experiments with drinking and drugs. Mind you, he's seeing things through the eyes of practically a teenager as he missed out experience the "come of age" period whilst in jail. Almost everything is a wonder for him in the beginning... and then he gets into life.

During the time spent in the city, he manages to rescue a little girl in a car accident about the same age that was murdered. He also saves his friend from getting attacked and seriously injured from these two HUGE men.

He suffers from internal debates as to whether to tell his gf and best friend the truth about his past, as opposed to the version his officer advised him to do. However, because of the level of passion of the families vengeance and anger, the officer implores and discourages him from doing so.. no one must know he's here or who he really is/was. Later, a 20 grand bounty is placed for his murder. The newspapers did a "future/how he should look now" picture... and his past just kept following him round like a bad habit.

The tagline of the movie is : "Who decides who gets a second chance?"

Now the above explains the storyline... And when you put all the elements together, it's gripping. Atleast to me.

The movie is expressed so delicately... that everything about it seems so fragile. Throughout, there are a series of flashbacks that explains who Jack was prior to his re-invention as a boy and how he got there.

As a boy, he lived a very wounded existence. His father had no time for him, and his mother was dying of cancer and too caught up with herself to care about raising a son. Thus, he was alone. Neither of his parents were willing to give him a listening ear, and later on, they didn't really fight to keep their son out of prison either.

He was bullied and beaten up daily by his classmates... and with having to deal with all his difficulties, he could hardly focus on anything school related whilst in class. He eventually meets his best, and only friend, Phillip. Phillip is a very angry, abused lost soul as well. He was sexually raped/molested by his older brother repeatedly... and gets very violent and defensive in situations outside of the sexual abuse. I assume, since he can't stop his brother, he figures he could at least control what happens to himself outside of it and protect those he cares about.

His violence is seen in how quickly his anger flairs with protecting Jack (aka Eric) and later on with the eel/snake/fish (whatever it was).

The little girl, was a classmate of Eric's. She sits at the same table... the two boys caught her making out with an older boy on the lawn...in the bush... However, they care very little, and were sharpening a knife, I guess for their next fishing expedition.

She appears and questions what they're doing... Eric defends their actions in a gentle way... after all, they're just doing little boy things. She then insults him and Phillip, calling them spastic and worthless. Phillip gets upset and slashes her hand to make her stop.... she says basically he's unimportant and no one cares about him and she will tell her father... and Phillip becomes enraged, to me, more by what she's saying about him than about her going to complain to his father, and starts to slash her more and they tumble their way downhill where the fight and screams continues. Eric watches helplessly, uncertain what to do... How the flashback is told, very little is revealed about how much of a contribution he makes to the murder beyond not stopping it... But I believe he didn't want to disappoint his only friend regardless of what he did/didn't do.

The movie in no way, makes less of the murder. It is gruesome and it is not right. However, it paints a sympathetic tale of the young boys and their state of mind.

Phillip "killed himself"... but in reality, he was murdered. Eric knew this, but no one would believe him or care even if he explained it.

Like I said... his past follows him around like a bad habit. His officer works so hard to keep Jack's fragile life afloat, up until his jealous depressive bum of a son appears. The son then sets out, maliciously reveals Jack's identity and sits back and watches smirking as Jack's life falls apart.

Jack's best friend turns his back on him.. He gets fired from his job... and his gf refuses to see him.. the officer's son hides the officer's cellphone so Jack can't get in contact with him... and the media is at his door.

The fragile soul escapes through a window in his roof, walks the train tracks to the station and catches a train. He meets his gf there where she says "she would've forgiven him... in time" had he told her the truth... He leaves parting messages on everyone's phone and kills himself.

Now, who decides who deserves a second chance?

Like I was telling Russel, people don't run to bring in psychologists into the courtroom because we don't want to know what factors really led up to the crime. Hell, we don't even want to know why the criminal did what they did - unless its on some grandeur level that the media gets a hold of and it becomes a curious spectacle. What we want to do is judge the crime and put the criminals behind bars, where they belong. *evil laughter* We'd make them stay there forever if we could... because once you hit prison, no matter what you don't come back better, unless Jesus finds you there.

Ok... right.

End sarcasm.

So... what happens to these people after their time is up? We didn't care that much for their backgrounds, so we don't have that much to work with... do we even really want to rehabilitate them?

This movie shows all this. It brings up all of these issues surrounding such a touchy subject. It's not advocating that murder is an ok crime, nor am I. But it is also saying, who are we to judge? What gives us that right?

We are humans... A religious society supposedly - be it Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, etc... We're supposed to be striving towards being better people. Not striving towards being better people with some exceptions to the rule. This being one of them. We're supposed to want to help fix each other, make each other whole... and yet we wonder why there are so many divisions in such an individualistic society where no one really wants to help anyone without some direct benefit.

---

The little boys parents, didn't give a hoot hoot about them. They had to fend for themselves, teach themselves what they know, and all they had was each other.

It wasn't right, the way they were bullied as kids by their peers. And I'm sure those kids didn't mean to bully them either - it's what they know. They are the products of a mean vicious society. Kids aren't born inherently evil, and even if they are, it's society from family to school to the community they live in that shapes it.

The officer's son is a bum. He's depressive and living a half existence... However, from the snippets being said, he was hardly given that much attention and he's trying to offer an olive branch and actually have a real father-son relationship. Again, you don't approve of what he does... but you understand the hurt he feels and why he did it.

Even his teacher... I don't remember ever picking on my students like that. And if I did, I'm sure I tried to speak to them afterward or find out more about what's causing them to behave like that... I only remember once or twice every really getting upset with my kids... but they're children.. and you never know what impact your words and actions may have on their lives. I wonder how she would feel knowing his story, why he never knew his work, the opportunity she had as an adult to be a positive influence in his life, and how she closed and padlocked that door shut.

The little girl was incredibly mean, especially for her age. I wanted to slap her and tell her have some respect. She was hardly a saint... just like all of these people in the movie.

No man or woman is a saint. We are all sinners.. so because we haven't been tried before a court jury and judge does that make us less of a sinner? Does it make our sins that much acceptable? Why? Sin is sin.

Knowing this... one should be able to forgive and let go. If you could forgive yourself for your sins, and your friends and family for theirs... why not other people?

Since we've established we're not perfect. Why can't we not work towards being better human beings... actually helping our fellow man/woman... do what the "scriptures" say... even if you are just one person, like Ghandi says, "Be the change you wish to see in the world"... or Smoochie in Death to Smoochie, "I can't change the world, but atleast I could make a little dent..."

All these collective dents bring about change... unless that is the real issue. We liked this crazy existence just the way it is? We don't really want to change it. We just want to keep it for dinner conversation and depressing newscasts headlines and newspapers. We like to pity ourselves. Damn depressives.

---

So... taking this all in.

This boy leaves prison at age 24, hoping for a second chance at life. After living a practically deemed worthless existence void of a parent's love, love of your peers, appreciation from society, etc etc. He reacted the way anyone would having been through those things during those tender years.

He's trying to make up for what he did. Who knows the wealth of positivity and change he could offer to the world? He could end up helping rehabilitate juvenille murderers... re-shape their thinking and make them proper, better human beings. He saved one girl's life. He saved his friend's life. He became a hero of sorts.... but he killed someone once. And that is all we see or care about.

We don't care about the change and effort he's making. We don't care about the potential of positive influence. We want him dead and out of our lives.. that wicked wicked boy.

In the end, he kills himself. It leaves you feeling everything but happy. It leaves your soul drenched in an inexplicable sadness with a complexed moral...

Who decides who gets a second chance?

Who are we to judge...?

***

Shelli out

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Being able to survive it... doesn't mean it was ok.

By 11:09 AM ,
Separated by routine,
we are all mourning in
parallel form the same silent tragedies...
...everyone has a secret
that would break your heart...
...if we could just remember this,
I think there would be a lot more
compassion and a lot more
tolerance in theworld...
-Mississippi

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Do you still care...?

By 1:55 PM , ,



Lyrics | Do You Still Care lyrics

I stumbled across this song a couple minutes ago.... I think it poses a nice question to humanity and where would we be willing to draw the line with prejudice?

When I was back home, going to college, I was a member of the drama club. One of the poignant things that always stood out was some ideas that Mr. Amen always tried to get across to us. Mind you, in some ways, they weren't articulated properly.... but it was communicated in a way that you have some understanding of the message. It was also something that, ultimately, you need to quest for yourself.

Anyways... we, as humans, have gotten caught up in trivial-made-important matters. We're making trivial things major issues, which is preventing us from actually solving the worlds' problems. At the core, we all have red blood being pumped through our veins... and in dire desperate situations, when the strings that hold us pull us closer, we see this and look beyond the skin colour, the money, the gender, the sexuality, whatever...

If only we manage to keep this up for longer than a dire situation?

Look at Dark Knight for example... (at least I hope it was in Dark Knight)

The Joker put two bombs on two boats trapped with people. He was counting on one boat to rush and detonate the other before the other party detonates them. One boat filled with prisoners, the other filled with ordinary citizens. Despite the obvious reasons why you would think to blow up the boat of prisoners... or to blow up the citizens... neither party did.

They recognized we're all human... no matter what... and furthermore, who gives us the right to judge or the right to take the life of another on the mere basis of what we think : be it our opinions, biases, so forth...

Ok, I believe I lost my train of thought. I forgot what I was trying to illustrate...

***

Anyways, the song poses two situations... Firstly, a member of the KKK many years down the line needing a liver, the only available one is from a black person. Does he still care about skin colour? Would this stop him from accepting the transplant?

And secondly, a poor black youth growing up in Jamaica where they are particularly homophobic, ends up in a shoot out and his friends drive off and leave him lying by the road side bleeding and a homosexual sees him and takes him to the hospital. Does he care about the sexuality of his saviour?

Where do you draw the line? Do you still care about these minor technicalities? Are they still issues?

***

Shelli out for now..
I have some other things to post about.. perhaps I shall do that later on this evening.

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Do we even need a black president?

By 11:52 PM

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"Experience is just a euphemism we use to feel better about our mistakes" -Daniel St. Bernard

By 10:54 PM

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Are you serious....?

By 9:30 PM ,
Shelli is currently peeved with American racism and ideals.

***

Ok... so my knowledge is not as vast nor as deep with regards to American politics...

But I'm watching the Presidential Debate now as I type.

Are the American people listening to the Republicans..? Are they hearing the words that are coming out of McCain's mouth?

The Republicans are the reason why the economy is the state that it is in as of current. I remember reading "Dude, Where's my country?" by Michael Moore, where he spoke about the tax cuts for the big wealthy business/men. They believe in the trickle down economy, whereby - give the rich some more money and maybe it would eventually trickle down to the little man. It doesn't work, hasn't been working... and looking at the state of current economic affairs, it could only get worse.

The Treasury Secretary of the American gov't put no caps on CEO severance pay offs... soooooo, as the companies fail or whatever, the CEO walks off with a nicely filled pocket.

Now, like my friend Daniel said, one of the worst moves the gov't made was to buy out the companies. It sends a bad message. It practically allows the companies to get away with their blunders, and sends the message that the gov't would rescue you from your mistakes so long as your mistakes are bigger than you thought it was, and the mistake would create global ripples... What difference does the bail out make? And... how much can the taxpayers' dollar really help one company that affected the economy that much...?

***
Newsweek excerpt.
Ada vs. Wall Street
"An 80-year-old grandmother who took control of her finances wonders why bankers can't do the same."
26th Sept. 2008

According to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke and President Bush, that's pretty much what's happening to several major financial institutions in the current economic crisis. In the last month, the government has brokered three bailouts (Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG) totaling nearly $400 billion. In Washington and on Wall Street, there are dire warnings that more corporate failures are awaiting us in the months ahead. While a solution is being debated, the front-running fix is Paulson's original $700 billion bailout. Taxpayer funded, it's designed to steady the markets by strengthening ailing companies and easing the current credit crunch.

..."The corporate people that are getting all the big bucks—they should investigate them and see who's to blame before they bail out anybody," she said.

...Noda says there are already criminals who need punishing in the financial fiasco: "Get rid of the CEOs and prosecute them—get rid of all these people getting the big bonus," she said. "All these other Enron people who did something—they prosecuted them and they went to jail. If you or I did something wrong we'd go to jail."
***


The fact that there is no caps on the pay offs... now the workers within the company won't benefit. But the CEO walks off with all the money? Doesn't this mean that the severance pay would be in turn the equivalent to a buy out?

Doesn't the buy out make a mockery of what America stands for? Considering that capitalism rests on the foundation of no real gov't interference with private companies...?

Again, like Daniel put it, not only do the CEO's walk away scotch free and filthy rich, they jacked most of it from tax payers money.

***
Opinions about the AIG bail out
Lisa Williams

"...A husband and wife have $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family? Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved. Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads Put away money for college - it'll be there Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs. Buy a new car - create jobs Invest in the market - capital drives growth Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( 'vote buy' ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President. If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up. Here's my rationale.

We deserve it and AIG doesn't. Sure it's a crazy idea that can 'never work. 'But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam."

***
***

Convo with Daniel on msn.


Dvs says:
why was this company saved anyways? like what made
them so special that the government
decided it was necessary to keep them around?

Shelli...... rocks says:
yep
Shelli...... rocks says:
aig... they're insurance GLOBALLY
Shelli...... rocks says:
so if they went down... they take everything down too
Shelli...... rocks says:
im not sure if thats the one they bailed out.. was it only one?
Shelli...... rocks says:
but i think thats one
Shelli...... rocks says:
and another one i heard about was a mortgage company
that handled over 50% over mortgages in america

Dvs says:
ok, so they went bankrupt, theyre an insurance company........

Shelli...... rocks says:
yea
Shelli...... rocks says:
and insurance handles everything

Dvs says:
oh no now if my car crashes i wont be gettin my money back

Shelli...... rocks says:
its not like abank... its bigger than a bank.. the banks
invest with insurance companies
Shelli...... rocks says:
your car, your house
Shelli...... rocks says:
your backside (beyonce)

Dvs says:
lol

Shelli...... rocks says:
and j. lo
Shelli...... rocks says:
lol

Dvs says:
you would wonder how an insurance company goes bankrupt....all things
considered the only time money leaves is
when something happens (ie: buildings are destroyed)
why in the world would they go bankrupt?
Dvs says:
was it the hurricane?

Shelli...... rocks says:
precisely
Shelli...... rocks says:
i doubt
Shelli...... rocks says:
in my business class all i kept hearing was wall street greed
Shelli...... rocks says:
a lot of these companies had greedy intentions
and it collapsed in and of itself
Shelli...... rocks says:
they held out longer than they should
Shelli...... rocks says:
and made a series of business mistakes
Shelli...... rocks says:
and bad decisions
Shelli...... rocks says:
and it led to great losses

Dvs says:
so basically in a last ditch attempt to get out
of paying for all of the damages, they just
filed bankruptcy?
Dvs says:
wow
Dvs says:
....

Shelli...... rocks says:
pretty much
Shelli...... rocks says:
if you cant pay.. file for bankruptcy

Dvs says:
kinda proves the use of insurance now dont it

Shelli...... rocks says:
and their stocks are still being sold

Dvs says:
a victory for capitalism
Dvs says:
if the ppl want your product they will buy, even if its an illusion
Dvs says:
youd think the ceos would be taken to court
Dvs says:
i guess the buyout was necessary, not to save the
company so much as repay the citizens

Shelli...... rocks says:
yea pretty much
Shelli...... rocks says:
and yea you would think so...
Shelli...... rocks says:
but dan, they're greivin... give them more more
Shelli...... rocks says:
money
Shelli...... rocks says:
lol.... it would be unconscionable to take them
to court in their depressive state

Dvs says:
dont tell me thats actually why theyre gettin
away with it? greiving? because ofcourse
its in the name of the now-homeless survivors,
god forbid it be because they have to
part with their precious money

Shelli...... rocks says:
amen

Dvs says:
its a sad time to be an american
Dvs says:
and to imagine, voting for mccain is a matter
of values to alot of americans
Dvs says:
...well smalltown values
Dvs says:
or so they claim

Shelli...... rocks says:
one of the issues i keep hearing is...
he doesn't have experience...

Dvs says:
lol dailyshow was interviewing some of them at
the republican convention, askin what those values
were and the only answer that came out was church attendance

Shelli...... rocks says:
dan how do ppl get experience? furthermore, the ppl
with experience are makin crappy decisions
Shelli...... rocks says:
LMAO

Dvs says:
i kid you not
Dvs says:
lol yea, exprience
Dvs says:
i dont think spending time as a prisoner of war
really teaches you how to run a country
Dvs says:
kinda unrelated topics

Shelli...... rocks says:
exactly

Dvs says:
well im sad, cause my * extended family member*
was gonna vote hillary,
but since hillary lost she wants to vote mccain
Dvs says:
it doesnt make sence, i couldnt even reason with her
Dvs says:
experience indeed
Dvs says:
but pailin definitely takes the cake

Shelli...... rocks says:
can i post our convo in my blog?

Dvs says:
only if it includes you asking if it can be posted
Dvs says:
:P

Shelli...... rocks says:
lol ok

Dvs says:
and only if its used with comic intent...or at least satire
Dvs says:
ok scratch the last part

Shelli...... rocks says:
you know palin has her name associated with a party
thats tryin to remov alaska from the us and
make it independent
Shelli...... rocks says:
you know palin has her name associated with a party thats tryin
to remove alaska from the us and make it independent

Dvs says:
yea, i thought i told you that...or maybe the
other way around i dont remember
Dvs says:
ive been telling ppl that myself tho
Dvs says:
lol

Shelli...... rocks says:
imagine if there was a mere RUMOUR of this
attachment to obama

Dvs says:
well i just think its too funny, who woulda thought that
pandering for womens votes would go so far

Shelli...... rocks says:
lol

Dvs says:
yea, no i think the way everyones handling her
kids pregnancy is whats a bit much
Dvs says:
i couldnt quote it to save mylife, but jon
stewart made an excelent point about it
Dvs says:
basically saying, its amazing that theyre asking
everyone to respect their decision as a family
to keep the child, but denying all others (they even
included rape victims) the ability to make the same
choice themselves
Dvs says:
well theyre offering the same solution, but not the same choice

Shelli...... rocks says:
interesting point
Shelli...... rocks says:
ahh... you mean they made a choice in a matter that
shouldnt have to be decided on
Shelli...... rocks says:
based on her beliefs?

Dvs says:
no i mean they MADE a choice, they were giving one
regardless of the influences involved in it

Dvs says:
no i mean they MADE a choice, they were giving one
regardless of the influences involved in it

Shelli...... rocks says:
ahh..
Shelli...... rocks says:
same thing

Dvs says:
and theyre using it to set an example,
essentially denying others of the same

Shelli...... rocks says:
ohhh

Dvs says:
i mean, theyre arguing respect our descision and at
the same time trying to decide for women themselves

Shelli...... rocks says:
right

Dvs says:
its rediculous

Shelli...... rocks says:
yea
Shelli...... rocks says:
a paradox in and of its own

Dvs says:
and she also brings up the whole experience thing too
Dvs says:
yea

Shelli...... rocks says:
again
Shelli...... rocks says:
imagine if that was obama's daughter
Shelli...... rocks says:
i think the whole thing is being blown up
into something greater jus because he's black
Shelli...... rocks says:
i dont remember all this publicity with john kerry...
Shelli...... rocks says:
hell i had to rack my brain last night to remember his name
Shelli...... rocks says:
and if its for experience.... america picked bush over
kerry for experience... he created the mess and
they were too scared to change captains mid-flight. understood
Shelli...... rocks says:
but theres no excuse to keep someone..
or a party... that wasn't working in power
Shelli...... rocks says:
because of experience
Shelli...... rocks says:
how does one get experience? if not been given a chance?

Dvs says:
lol
Dvs says:
experience is just a euphemism we use
to feel better about our mistakes
Dvs says:
and yea, its sad but it really is beiing blown up this
big because he's black, i think alot of other candidates
were in no better shhoes and no more capable than
he is anyways






***
Jamaica Gleaner
Will conservative ideology let Wall Street destroy capitalism?

We knew this would be the fallout. Conservative philosophy denounces ideologically the practice of government regulation. Further, it sees bail-out intervention as wrong. The market must self-correct as part of capitalism's creative destruction. Yet, today President Bush supports a bail-out.
Republican presidential candidate John McCain supports government intervention in campaign speeches, attacking greed on Wall Street. Obama supports it too, with caveats. What's new? Politics gets inextricably intertwined with economics once financial sector crash and rehabilitation turn up. We have our own FINSAC debates to guide us - what's new indeed? A bundle.
...Innovative and risky new financial instruments, once hailed as remarkably elegant, now defined as toxic, once created and marketed worldwide, take on a life of their own. The US budget deficit, according to Congressional Budget Office analysts, is $486 billion. This does not include ad hoc commitments for Bear Stearns, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac of $240 billion. Top this up with $85 billion for AIG and $700 billion for a comprehensive programme a la Resolution Trust Corporation for an unprecedented commitment of taxpayer funds and the yet unborn.
The blame game will continue and intensify. Yet the process is not new. Financial crises and their resolution evolve like this. Innovation and lax regulatory oversight, for whatever reason, are followed by ad hoc responses, which fail to contain the crisis. Comprehensive solution follows with appropriate recrimination, significant policy and legislative regulatory changes - the classic process.
The problem, however, is that this situation represents conditions underlying both the way the world economy now works and the way the international monetary system evolved haphazardly, to facilitate it. The US dollar is the world's currency despite the emergence of the euro and Britain's insistence on maintaining sterling in its effort to provide some independence for domestic economic policy and the place of the city of London as a major financial centre.
...He wants a blank cheque with no oversight. Some see Paulson as making a power grab from an unpopular lame-duck President who must stay out of the public square. While Lou Dobbs calls the plan idiotic, its Liberal critics insist the bail-out should not simply hug up toxic assets no private entity would buy off Wall Street's books without potential taxpayer benefit. The bail-out must buy a stake in the business. Politically, the bailout as currently proposed - no possibility of judicial review, no relief for small banks, credit unions, homeowners - may prove more difficult to achieve than bi-partisan authority to make war in Iraq. This is why world financial markets continue to be spooked.
***


I heard this in the debate....when I was momentarily able to stomach the level of b.s. I was ingesting through my ears.

Should they have gone into war? I personally think the war was unnecessary. I don't believe 1/10th of what the gov't had to say. I believe the war was just an excuse to get over to the East. It's shrouded in too many question marks regarding how the whole thing was handled. I'm not even sure why they went over there... and no, I don't believe it really had to do with Al Quieda.

I'm even on the borderline of believing the conspiracy theories behind WTC attacks. Too many plausible question marks I say.. too many. Furthermore, you could see the details on your license plate from satellite. But they can't find ONE man on a DIALYSIS machine? C'mon... people are foolish, but not that foolish. What does he do? He has solar powered dialysis machines in every cave to help out his situation?

Anyways... that being said.

***

I find it even more annoying that many people are missing the value of what Obama is saying because they're too distracted by the colour of his skin. America prides itself on supposedly overcoming the evils and detaching itself in some ways from the legacy of slavery. They believe they have let go racial discrimination, and opened the doors to equality amongst everyone despite gender or colour...

Here's their objectivity proof test on these beliefs. Guess what, they're failing.

It's absurd how one track the critical thinking arguments are with this whole matter. They're not even paying attention to what policies are being advocated much less whats being said about the current state of affairs within the country. This is the time to make use of all the mud slinging transparency that's being brought to the table with the American gov't and how the country is being run. Your country.

Instead, the debate revolves around experience, skin colour, the reverend's statements, Palin "is a MILF" and super hot. *ahem* This isn't going to save the economy.

And frankly, it isn't going to save America either.

Shelli out.

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