Don't play with it

you want to be dressed in poetry
but imagery doesn’t fit
and you want resizing
but darling dear get a grip
-'Lyrical Lies' Cute Is What We Aim For

So its been yet another long while since i've posted. Gee... i realize how ambitious i was to actually think i could manage like 6 blogs simultaneously. The group blog hasn't even picked up since there has been a minor chink in our plans... a strangely unforeseeable...unrealistic... ok, we're busy. Liz is busy with work. I'm busy with work. Shamz is on the hunt. Rus is about to start.

I remember back in college, i used to be tired... but THAT tiredness compared to THIS tiredness. It's like the complete feeling of being drained emotionally, physically, mentally... in every sense. In order to string two words together to form a phrase, much less a sentence, requires deep contemplation as to whether it's worth the energy to open your mouth an articulate... because it's going to take up just that much more effort. In addition, during that period your brain is cursing you, going "PLEASE NO... not more... i can't do it...!!"

Then after a while you begin to ramble incoherently, picking words out at random as they flicker across in your brain engaged in their own little mind games. Soon you can't even remember what you're talking about... and then before you know it, you hear the alarm and open one eye as you reach absently to turn off the annoyance, only to realize... it's morning. You don't even REMEMBER falling asleep in bed, much less how you got there... furthermore any conversations with anyone.

This whole working experience taught me that i lie in my sleep. I'm currently hoping to do over an exam and do it better... Thus, since during the night nothing could wake me up after i've fallen asleep, i've resorted to asking Ru to wake me. Apparently one night, he called and instructed me to get up and go study and do the thing for Listra... BUT i didn't. I told him in my sleepy state i already did everything and i don't have to get up anymore. I lied. I don't even remember that conversation.

Hmm... so what do i think about my job? Sometimes i love it, sometimes i don't. I'm often torn between being the nice teacher and being the mean teacher.. I mean, you want your students to like you but at the same time, they shouldn't think they could have their own way.

My mark scheme for this semester was 80% for their individual work, 20% for their group project. I extended the deadline 3-4 weeks for the individual work.. and about 3 weeks for the project. The majority handed up ATLEAST one out of the two individual pieces. Then even less handed up the group projects... I was left to decide whether to just forget about the group project or take the marks... The students who DID do the project took time and effort to finish it so that they could get a grade... Whereas those who didn't, didn't make an effort at all. By forgetting about the project was like punishing those who did it and rewarding those who didn't... i reluctantly took the marks... many got zeros... many didn't pass.. I felt awful. I feel awful.

~~~

Ru got a job. Awesomeness.
Liz's job seems to have settled on one location.. she's happy. Awesomeness.

~~~