Don't play with it

***

A friend and myself were musing to each other about our lil' struggles recently and how difficult it seems to make progress. It feels as if you're rowing for hours at sea, our to move mere inches the harder you try.

We realized, as Liz put it, we were rowing in the same boat struggling a while now, and failed to see each other. The more I think about it, we're not

I guess when you have a fixed idea of what you want it's difficult to move slowly and through the usual protocol to get to that desired destination. Even though I have to learn and master all these new things... it's frustrating because I want to know it now and get it over and done with and be ever so closer to where I want to be...

I was complaining about my courses and how intimidating it seems as it's more or less new things... I never touched American Gov't before. This isn't significantly important to us islanders where I come from... We could care two hoots about the intricacies and political history about American politics aside from vague references skimmed in history class. Now I have like 2 & 1/2 hours per week dedicated to this alone. Then I started doing Philosophy as well...

I must admit, despite all my reservations and struggles with my subjects thus far, I feel like I'm learning. And all this means is that I'm not doing enough work on my own like I should be doing... and if I'm honest with myself, I know I haven't put my best approach to these classes. Now that I recognize this... I can do something about it.

So Heraclitus... as I learned in my Philosophy class was a philosopher who believed that you couldn't go to the same river twice, much step in the same river twice.

Since the water is flowing and is comprised of many particles, after that initial step, those particles have long flowed along and mingled elsewhere, separated, joined, deposited in other areas. He believes that the sun isn't the same everyday, nor is the moon, nor are the trees, or anything...

I'm not sure if this would be interpretting it and taking it too far, but it's like life is always in constant motion... nothing remains static - ever. Therefore, change is happening, every single second of every minute of every hour of every day, etc.

Gives a whole new spin on Martin Carter's poem... which I can't seem to remember what it's called or if my next words are accurate but - you change with the change that changes you, yet remain unchanged.

Every day is a new day, new in a every way. A new opportunity to deal with a situation that is different, even if in the minutest of ways... and if we should look for these minute cracks to find handholds and footholds to hoist ourselves out of the situation, we'd find progress.

And there will be progress... and even if it's a long tedious progress, it's progress nuntheless.

That knowledge alone, should inspire one to keep going.

***

So now with this new yet old philosophy on life... comes a new maturity and understanding in the fluidity of life. Trust that literally, and figuratively, this day too shall change. This moment can't last forever. This story can't have a fixed ending determined by the past lest you decide to let the story end like that.

Shelli is done musing to herself.
Shelli out.