Don't play with it

I'm in a low mood. I'm confident that it would pass... But that knowledge doesn't stop me from feeling how I feel right now.

Have you ever felt inexplicably sad...? And quiet...? Not necessarily lonely, but wanting to be alone...? And just wanted to sleep the day away...? But you don't feel you deserve to sleep because there's just so much more you could potentially be doing with your wake time...? Papers to write, courses/material to study, yet you just can't summon the energy or willpower to do anything. To want to do anything... because you just feel low..?

I feel perhaps maybe I've been too positive over the past couple of days... My cup runneth over with sheer positive thoughts and good vibrations... (lol)

A friend of mine was worried about the Business exam Friday and I convinced her she could do it despite obvious hindrances, and I convinced myself I could teach myself the material... And I did. I didn't fully grasp the concepts in class, but between using the textbook and getting Russel to walk me through and fine tune little concepts here and there, I got it. But the exam was a disaster. I felt so optimistic about the first exam and I did so horribly. Now I'm sure I was more thorough for this one, yet all my optimism has exited through that exit *points* stage left. (Snagglepuss)

Then the day before I made a special effort to get to school early... That is I tried to get up at 4.30 am to leave by 5-5.30... to make it to school on time for my 7.55 am class. My aunt woke me by accident, fortunately or unfortunately, at minutes to 6.30 or 6.40... I can't remember... All I know is that I reached there half an hour late. I was so annoyed... And I really tried.

Perhaps I'm not trying hard enough... yes yes... that must be it.


Sigh... Oh well...

On a plus note, I was craving junk food so I went to the deli 'round the corner and got me some.... cheesy popcorn, onion rings, snickers, marshmallow treat squares, cake and Italian ice. I finished the popcorn, onion rings, half of the cake slice and I'm going to be moving on to the Italian ice in a minute.

Bleh.


I've lost my zest to finish this post.

Perhaps I shall write a fresh one with my new philosophy on life as I intended to do days ago (but I've been so busy)... Anyways...

A humble Shelli,
Out.