Everything happens for a reason...

By 7:56 PM , , , ,

"This could never be Providence.
Stop trying to convince me otherwise."
Everything happens for a reason -

Or so they keep trying to convince me.

I've officially reached a point of being tired of hearing "think positively".

People say you must avoid things that stress you, for life has so many natural stresses everyday. Yet I find myself, in order to make everybody happy, taking on everything that would ultimately stress me. I find myself taking the routes to stress me out, and take one for the team... you know, sacrifice yourself for the sacrifice of it all... You know, hope that this all counts for something in the end.

The amusing part is that after all this sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice, in the midst of others sacrifices, I'm hearing I have a choice in the matter and 'Life is stressful, deal with it'... I don't have a choice in the matter. Choice is an illusion. Choice is a mirage in dessert from dehydration.

I don't even have the comfort of being between the rock and the hard place.


Two words.

One meaning.

"Fed up."


-"All my life" Foo Fighters

All my life I've been searching for something
Something never comes never leads to nothing
Nothing satisfies but I'm getting close
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope
All night long I dream of the day
When it comes around then it's taken away
Leaves me with the feeling that I feel the most
The feeling comes to life when I see your ghost

Come down don't you resist
You have such a delicate wrist
And if I give it a twist
Something to hold when I lose my breath
Will I find something in that
So give me just what I need
Another reason to bleed
ONE BY ONE hidden up my sleeve
ONE BY ONE hidden up my sleeve

Hey don't let it go to waste
I love it but I hate the taste
Weight keeping me down... 


I'm exhausted. Life exhausts me.

I've got a headache since I've been here and I have the sneakiest of suspicions its going to last a while longer.. that's as positive as my thinking is going to get. I've succumbed to reality.

Are you happy now Universe?

Despondent Shelli out.


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