Don't play with it

"It burns and it hurts and I sit and I take the burn and I take the hurt. I don’t do it because I like it, because I don’t. I sit and I take the pain and I ignore the pain and I forget the pain because I want to learn some form of control. I believe that pain and suffering are different things. Pain is the feeling. Suffering is the effect that pain inflicts. If one can endure pain, one can live without suffering. If one can learn to withstand pain, one can withstand anything. If one can learn to control pain, one can learn to control oneself. I have lived a life without control. I have spent twenty-three years destroying myself and everything and everyone around me and I don’t want to live that way anymore. I take the pain so that I will never suffer. I take the pain to experience control. I sit and I burn and I take it." - My friend Leonard, James Frey

A photo of Tracy and Stacey that I borrowed off this website.

Again, for those who missed my first post on the exhibition... It's located opposite the museum, on the same side and lower down from MNIB. You should see the above "Grenada Arts Council sign"

Lilo Nido Kinah Networking Textile Sculpture

Junetta Noel Message in a boli Collage on calabash

Amanda Hage Untitled Acrylic on paper

Andrea McLeod The seeing unseen Chalk pastel

 This piece (above) was my favourite. It's sold already, as indicated by the red dot. *sad face* I made mention of it in my prior post. The background is filled with lines about 'seeing but not being seen.' I interpret it to be in the 'women must be seen and not heard' context. Nuntheless, I loved it.

Suelin Low Chew Tung (That's her in image...and she's the head of the Arts council) Ladies in red Acrylic & oil pastel

 Now the following picture was most interesting to me. Sher and I were walking around, snapping pictures, trying to gather up information to do up our posts and then we heard male voices... It wasn't the male voices that were most surprising though but the context of the conversation. I swear it went something along the lines of "...and she made good use of the canvas..." and "...you could see the brush strokes in the work, I like da piece.." Umm... Really? This is wonderful. I know there are male artists... But I didn't quite realize there were young men coming in and appreciating art and able to take apart and criticize the art on a deeper level beyond "I think this looks pretty." I believe it was an art teacher and a few of his male students. So what did Shelli do? I proceeded to follow them with my macco camera.

Regardless, I don't believe they were attending under duress... And more guys, who didn't appear to be students did come in and peek.

My macco shot. And yes, I did make them aware of my intentions after.

Maryse Faure-Taylor  Where It All Started & Women's Curves

Ursula Williams

I didn't get a chance to scribble down the title of this piece. My inner (lazy) genius thought it would've been clever to snap photos of the labels as well rather than do the intelligent thing and write it down... The shots came out blurred. However, I do know this was made with the stem of the banana tree. Creative isn't it? And yes, it's a necklace.

That concludes my exhibition post.
Go check it out in person.
C'est tout.
Double kisses
Shelli

-Aundrea, farewell maiden

Khalifa live right now... http://www.killerslaserspapers.com/

YAY!
*wistful sigh*
...now I shall resume watching the stream.

-Myself

OH! P.S. My friend Sher did a beautiful post on this(the photo shoot), describing St. George's and the route to get there in a very picturesque way.. So if you're local and feel like having a quiet reminder about where we live check it out... and if you're tourist, check her blog out as she paints a beautiful picture with her words.



And for you conservationists...how many of you actually regarded that tree in Willis with great reverence. I never did much follow up on it. I know, I know, I'm a horrible local. However, I heard the residents of the area were complaining about it being an eye sore and then it collapsed. Why is it everything ancient, old, vintage, traditional, historic is an eye sore and needs to be done away with but traditional values which we're clinging onto as a nation that don't work anymore we don't want to let go of?

Jamaica had their silk cotton tree that was one of their tourist attraction (Tom Cringle's Cotton Tree I believe). Guyana had their silk cotton tree that could not be cut down to build a road so they had to build around the tree in Perseverance on the East Coast. As Caribbean territories there's so much folklore surrounding everything that's ancient and old. I remember my mom used to tell me stories about Guyana and that the reason why the trees are so hard to cut down is because the Dutch plantation owners would bury their overseers or someone alive with their money and treasures to protect it. As a result, the spirits linger around the tree. I love telling the story about the tree in Guyana because I like that kind of stupidness/folklore. I like no better fun. She, my mom, even went on to say that long after every time someone would try to cut down the tree, that was in the middle of the road, they would die in the process or soon after and the one time they got a cut in, the tree bled blood. Hence, they built around the tree. Heck, I would build around it too. The original tree fell and a seedling grew back in its place...Mom also said the folklore with silk cotton trees is that you walk by them at night because of all the spirits lingering...

Sher was telling me the folklore is similar here. She knows the local tale as don't walk past at noon nor midnight or else 'booboo gon grab you.' She outlines the tale pretty well... and even if you've never seen the tree I do encourage you to check out her post because it's so well written you can feel looming presence of the tree and the heat of the midday sun as she describes walking past it.

The depressing story is... the tree is no longer there. Funny story is, she said locally, because of all the folklore  it's hard to find someone willing to cut down a silk cotton tree. The irony is, they cut it. Not all the way down because "the tree supports the road." I don't know... they weren't thinking that all the time? They could've trimmed it or something. What if the tree dies now and collapses? Then self its real problems in camp.

And aside from that. It was a landmark.

...And when we did [the passing bus], almost like slow motion, i say almost because it was never slow enough, i took it all in, how thick the trunk was, how wrinkled and just how deep set those wrinkled WERE. I marveled at how high it stood, how far back it leaned like a tired but accomplished grandmother in her easy chair, sitting on her stoop, watching the neighborhood children walk past, their hands tightly clasped in their parents hands...remembering effortlessly when their parents were kids and their grandparents were parents....

...I breathed in the air that surrounded it and wondered, like I’d always wondered. What was the air like in this spot 200 years ago? Who stood at the base of this tree 200 years ago? Was it a slave hating it for what it stood for? Or one appreciating it for it’s merciful shade and lack of judgment? Who stood here 100 years ago? Was it a young couple courting? Was it a teacher and his or her students trying to escape the heat of the classroom? Who stood here 50 years ago? Who was she? Who was he? What did they think of this tree? Or more importantly…what did the tree think of them? Did it smile down at them? Resent them? What had it seen? So so much it must have seen!

Sher's Blog... Click here to see the rest of the post 

'Booboo gon hold you under the Silk Cotton Tree'

I concur. Imagine how many stood before the same tree admiring it throughout history? The same tree we can't cut down fast enough.

C'est tout.
Enjoy.

Saturday I somehow managed to get sick from the night prior - don't ask me how. I sincerely thought I lost my voice from all the karaoke. I reluctantly dragged myself to town minutes to 3, convincing myself that the art exhibition would be opened late because it was only running for a short time frame to maximize visitations - but I was wrong and they closed at 2. That's understandable I guess, it's Grenada. I should've listened to dad when he was trying to herald my sniffling, sneezing, possibly slightly feverish backside out of the house.

After I arrived, late, Sher managed to persuade me to come check out Dwight's photoshoot at Modern Photostudios for his 'Mute' clip. MUTE is an idea of his that he's been molding a while now which stands for 'Must Unfold The inEvitable.' The inevitable, in my interpretation, relates to your ultimate destiny - your true potential, tapping into every creative bone in your body to achieve your dreams to their fullest. For the time being, he's developing his Youtube channel and doing short clips to develop his ideas until he writes the full script of a film short.

During the shoot...

Dwight is the official camera man. Photo of him centering the camera on Cemal.

Dwight explaining to us how it works...

Me filming Dwight's clip.

Dwight

Fooling around afterwards.... Cemal

Sher

...and that's a wrap folks! Cut!

...Lest I forget Friday evening was an adventure as well.

As is customary, I overslept and deliberated on leaving the house until I actually ended up leaving late. However, that was ok because Sher was running a tad late herself. The irony of ironies is that we were going to the Bistro again for an evening of jazz and poetry and instead... before I could even get to town Sher called to tell me that not only was there no jazz but it was transformed so dramatically into a dance studio that it was as if the hardwood floor was picked up and rolled to a corner... and then I got another call saying it's now an Italian restaurant and she's ordered for us.

The menu... The chef only cooks Mahi Mahi when he gets it fresh the same day.

I must say that while it was disappointing to know the event was cancelled. Additionally, it was annoying that it seemed such a casual 'by the way we're cancelled today' notice... However, I never knew there was an Italian restaurant/cafe in town. Mind you, it's been there all the time and I just never noticed. I had my mind set on KFC so I basically sample ordered stuffed tomatoes and stuffed potatoes. It was delicious. I normally don't like tomatoes but it was pretty good. It had a mixture of cheeses in it... yummy goodness. The potatoes were stuffed with minced meat.




Afterwards, we went to check out the Art Exhibition directly opposite (the museum/restaurant). It's running now until the 25th of March. I suggest you check it out.

The theme is 'Woman' so all of the pieces are centered around an interpretation of the word. First of all, I don't even know what was in that particular space before (I hardly walk through town like that) but it's a lovely location for an little art gallery as the rooms just flow one into the other into a circular fashion. All that was missing was wine and cheese, but then again we arrived a few minutes before it was about to close. I have to pass back again and when I do I shall put up more photos from it.

It was very inspiring. There were some very simple pieces with powerful messages. I remember one in particular that struck me was a simple pastel/charcoal portrait done on black paper of a muslim woman. The background comprised of text, written in what I assume to be white pastel pencil, of different phrases along the lines of "I must be seen but not heard [as a woman]." Another piece I found interesting was a collection done with 4 varnished and painted calabash halves - one for the head, two for the naked breasts and another for the exposed large tummy. I interpreted it as a pregnant woman.

The following are some quick snaps I got before we left... I shall go back and get some proper photos and hopefully a proper write up.

Some pieces by Francis Frances... she passed away recently. :(

Maryse Faure-Taylor - Where It All Started Maryse Faure-Taylor - Women's Curves

Stacey Byer - Forged

Judith Jarvis - Sifting the Sand "What we will be when we grow up?" Believe it or not, this painting is almost as wide as a small wall - prolly about 4-5 ft. wide or more. I only got a quick glimpse and it was a quick blurred shot I took and tried to do some edits... But it's amazing in person. At least from my quick glimpse. I did a double take because it looks almost like a photograph...

So... this is all until I get my formal shots of the Exhibition. Do check it out if you get a chance.


Deuces.
Shelli out.
xoxo

... to be sick.

Stupes.

It's been so long since I've been sick that I don't even know how to cooperate with sickness properly. Do I laze in bed all day? Do I ignore it and push ahead? I'm reluctantly taking meds because I absolutely can't afford to be sick for the remaining of this semester... grr...

So I've been sick the past couple days and I've been deliberating on my posts. In fact I have a few half-typed posts that I shall officialize in due time.

Now onto greater matters...

I've heard time and time again people of both genders, but more so male, state that 'every time they get into a relationship suddenly the world of women become aware of their existence and attempt to pursue a relationship.' This has never been the case with me. I've never met a guy and thought to myself 'HEYYY... you have a girlfriend? Ok, I'm going to try harder to get with you.' *big bright perky smile*

No. Just no. This is not the Olympics. We're not trying harder to break any records. Why the hell would I want to pursue someone who has already found someone else? Like seriously? Who does that? 'I have a girl' does not equate 'let me try harder.'

So my interest in this topic has been piqued by an observation I made amongst acquaintances and for the sake of ease of explanation I'll try and create the hypothetical story as simple as possible.

Imagine you're a girl and you have a boyfriend. At the present moment, you're going through relationship problems and get close to an old male friend who's also in a relationship. As time progresses, the both of you become closer however in a platonic sense. The guy then starts to push for something romantic, to which you decline for obvious reasons. And for those who don't deal with the obvious, that is --- he has a gf, and even if he didn't you have your bf that you love, and even if that wasn't the case nobody wants to get with someone that's willing to cheat with them anyways. Right?


Fast forward a few months later... The guy confesses that he was lying about having a gf the entire time and the said girl 'failed his test.' I know you're curious as to what exactly was this test. So was I... so you could imagine the onslaught of curious questions I had in mind to wrap my mind around how exactly one rationalizes this 'test,' i.e., what sort of motives are involved? How does one get oneself into such a situation? How can it be avoided?

Apparently, as the story unfolds, the guy wanted to see whether she was interested in him. If she 'passed the test' her response to his 'Umm... actually, I don't have a gf...' was supposed to go like,'Really? Well... that's even better! ...'cuz even if you did have your girl I love you so much that I was willing to take what I can get and wait for you meanwhile...'


Pardon me? You're joking right? You can't possibly be serious?

There's so many things wrong with that equation. I was literally stuttering when I heard this story. It's so ridiculous it's difficult to take serious. People say this kind of stuff? And by people I mean 'Grown Folks.' I can't even begin to describe the level of dotishness that is.

First of all, you meet someone and they're in a relationship. In my world, if I'm single, you're automatically in the brother/friend zone. You could be Tyson Beckford for all I care... it won't make a difference. I wouldn't think 'Oh, let me try harder..!' What kind of sick, low self-esteem person does that? Perhaps 'sick' is not the right word... To be succinct, what kind of person aspires to be a home wrecker?

Which leads to my next point... My consequent question would be 'Why would you want to be with someone willing to cheat on the person they claim to love... and additionally, be ok with you cheating on the person you're with?' Whatever happened to the 'If they cheat with you, then they'll cheat on you' rule? Who's to say this person won't fall for the next friend in line should you end up in a relationship and end up in some rough waters for a while...? Furthermore, what kind of girl would put herself in said situation? Why would she consent to this?

I can't imagine me and my guy in that situation... and he gets a new girl and I say 'Babe, I know you have a new girl and ting... but I just want you to know I love you and always will... and I'm willing to wait for you...'

Umm.. No. Just no. It just won't happen. That's just setting yourself up for abuse. That's setting yourself up for being a quotable to his friend's when he's talking about all the girls that he no longer wants that are still begging to be with him, have his kids, etc. Bragging rights I believe? I'm tired of hearing guys refer amused to the long list of ex-es that they have that are 'begging to get pregnant for them' and 'regret cheating/breaking up.'

I mean... I'm still baffled... confounded... by the whole story. It's so absurd, it's hilarious.

Meh... what do I know? My logic has failed me to understand this situation. Fortunately, it's not for me to understand henceforth. Best wishes to the parties involved. Thank God it's not my problem.

Folks, there's too many fishes in the sea to be fighting over fish that's been caught. Leave that for the people who like dramatic stories.

Anyways, let me resume typing my summary for class...
Shelli out.

I don't have much to post on tonight per se. I went to the sulphur springs in Bylands (sp?) yesterday and I shall post about that later I guess. I'm too lazy to type up a proper post about it nor upload pics.

Sharks populations can't withstand commercial fishing the way more fecund marine species can. Unlike other fish harvested from the wild, sharks grow slowly. They don't reach sexual maturity until later in life — the female great white, for example, at 12 to 14 years — and when they do, they have comparatively few offspring at a time, unlike, say, big tunas, which release millions of eggs when they spawn. (Not that overfishing has left big tunas in much better shape than sharks, but that's another story.) As a result, the sharks that are netted are either adolescents that have not had a chance to reproduce or are among the few adults capable of adding new pups to the mix — and never will. "The shark stock on the Great Barrier Reef was hit hard when fishing started in earnest here 30 years ago, and it hasn't recovered at all," says Fitzpatrick [a marine biologist]. - Time Magazine

- Jamal G.

Cookies for breakfast on a Sunday morning. That's what happens when you're pressed for time with an impending exam and lingering guilt from not studying as much the night prior. Therefore, this shall be a short post.

This weekend has turned into poetry weekend for me. I've been trying to resurrect 'girls night' this year. So far we've pulled off a few movie nights where we did things I didn't even do as a kid at slumber party such as watch movies and paint our nails in wacky colours. So for all of you who've seen me in person recently and been looking at my nails curiously wondering what the hell is going on......... girls night + laziness to remove nail polish has been going on... well for the most part that is, I've gotten comfortable with the crazy colours since.

This Friday I hung out with Sher. As is customary with me, I arrived in town about 15-20 minutes late after deliberating on what to wear for 2 hours. Needless to say, she left my backside and gave me directions as to how to reach the location. Hmph, in all fairness, she could've done like Carly and snooks and tell me they've arrived/left the house --- when in reality they haven't and they're factoring in my twist and turning time so we actually in the end arrive at the same time.


We went to this poetry/jazz chill spot that I never knew existed. I think it's called Le Bistro and my assumption is purely based on a memory of Sher snapping a photo of the dangling outside sign. Guilty consciences about late arrivals always beg for a quiet, discrete entrance with very little observation to details beyond getting to a seat. Now I'm almost certain you already have an idea where it is. I believe I've heard the music before on evenings walking past the building on my way to Josef's, I just could never figure out how to get upstairs and wasn't too bothered to get off-route to find out.

So I shall give directions from the tunnel because it's the flattest route. After passing the tunnel, approach the museum building. Take a left going up the hill. You will see a huge gate with a cannon in the yard. The gate is also roughly opposite of MNIB...and voilà you have arrived. Enter the gate, proceed up the stairs, it's the door on the left.

Apparently, this goes on every Friday evening from about 6-8 pm. I was in love. I made it in time to just hear the last poet... as she was finishing. *sigh* But it was still amazing. Then there was some live jazz music. A girl I know vaguely from Facebook and seeing her face around, Lisa Thomas, sang two covers - an a capella 'Cross the line' by John Legend and a classic 'Summertime' by Ella Fitzgerald. She has an amazing voice. Then we had a put-on-the-spot performance by Sean, a guy here on the island as part of the Peace Corps, who sang two songs (while playing his guitar) - an American classic 'Sweet Caroline' and an boy band classic 'I want it that way' by the Backstreet Boys. Dr. Keans-Douglas was there performing on his harmonica... Mr. Belfon on the saxophone... So...There was a saxophonist, guitarist, etc. (I don't know all my instruments, so consider 'etc.' my cop out) It was lovely.

So... I couldn't help myself. I called dad and let him hear all the good stuff over the phone. He was musing that it sounded just like being at Bourbon Street in New Orleans all over again... It was just that good.

On the downside, the setting is ok. It has those nice yellow lights that give the room that cozy comforting feeling. In the room itself, there are seats where you can sit or space for you to linger around the sides to stand - whichever your preference. There was a table outside with some drinks for sale, should you desire something to wet your throat. It would've been nice if there were some snacks outside - I think there was some but it finished... I could imagine some cake and pastries at this sort of gathering... or even sandwiches... yum. Or perhaps that's my lack of a proper breakfast talking to me.

Nuntheless, that's where we come in. You don't have to pay to come inside. The event is free, open to anyone who appreciates this sort of stuff and just looking for a nice, chill hang out. You may offer a donation in the basket on your way out. Proceeds go towards improving and maintaining the event. Friday coming they're going to have a violinist, electric guitarist and a bunch of other different performers.

Sher's going to be performing one of her pieces, she's deliberating on which to do. I might do one... It's been ages since I've done this. I can't even remember when last I've been to a W.A.G. meeting much less.

Wanna spit sum'n? Wanna play sum'n? It's an open mic.

P.S. Sorry, I forgot my camera this time so no pics. 

You die fighting the ripcurrent, not riding the current out. At least that's what the experts tell you as a method to survive a ripcurrent. The current is too strong to swim against or across without getting tired and/or drown, but you can ride it out and then get the chance to swim to safety.

As with life, we have ripcurrents that are dressed up as varying factors that you don't have control over - be it the weather, traffic, people, your job/boss, teacher, school etc. But you can control how you react to each given situation. There's always the choice to get upset, sad, angry, depressed, cynical, annoyed, etc. However, just as easily, there is always the choice to be happy.

Imagine going to an early morning appointment and along the route you end up getting caught in traffic. Now, the average person's first instinct is to get upset and fuel that emotion. Bad move, because now your mood is ruined. Most likely, when you reach your destination, you're going to carry that bad mood with you. So all of your interactions of that day, have a set tone from that one moment of being stuck in traffic. You're probably going to enter the appointment with an attitude and interact with everyone else the rest of the day the same way. Furthermore, you're probably now going to look for things to validate the world conspiracy against you. Imagine if you didn't allow the hype to happen. Instead, you realized your favourite song was playing on the radio and sang along perhaps. The traffic issue would most likely be forgotten by the time you leave your appointment because it's lost emotional energy beyond an "I'm sorry I'm late." You no longer feel compelled to complain to everyone you meet about the horrible traffic and how badly your day is going. You arrive at the appointment with a better attitude and more receptive to positive things happening for the rest of the day.  Ergo, the power of choice.

Back on topic...

At the end of the day, everything happens in the best way possible. You can make all the right moves. You can ask all the right questions... But in the end, nothing happens until the time it's supposed to happen. What's for you is for you. The people who were heading to the WTC the morning of 9/11, be it to drop off a job application, going to work, etc.; and were running late for whatever reasons probably felt annoyed and angry at that time. However, I'm sure they must've felt like they missed a bullet when the towers went down and they were still alive. Furthermore, if you didn't have a few cursed missed opportunities, you wouldn't have learnt a few lessons. Sure you were bitter at the time, but you understood after. Not immediately after, perhaps a few days, a few months, a few years even... but you understood. It all made sense.
You never really know, until you know, you know?

Always trust that whatever happens, happens for the best. This moment, all your life experiences, everything that has ever happened has led you to the moment you're in right now. Your future will be based on these previous and present moments collectively. It won't make sense now... but it shall. And when the right opportunity door presents itself, trust that prior moments throughout life will have prepared you to have the right keys to open it... (And even then so, I don't believe any opportunity can truly be missed...As my dad always says "What miss you, hasn't passed you")

Until then, choose to be happy, or at least aspire to maintain a positive attitude... and keep the faith.




Fall  down seven times, stand up eight.
Shelli out.

...I'm still working on my summary but I'm on a break. Suddenly I miss my dogs that passed away...

Now we shall go back to this station's original programming...........

I deliberated on my post too long. I forgot most of what I wanted to write and I misplaced my scribbled notes on the topic... I guess when I find it I could just do an edit.

Anyway, the following photos are from our field trip last Friday. We went with a botanist, Dr. Linda Lyon, from Montana to visit various habitats and look for different plants. Sure, we've been to the locations several times but it was different this time seeing it through the eyes of a botanist. She took us through the habitats and explained various interesting facts about the plants, why they're where they are, where they're native to, and how to identify them. I don't remember everything I learned over the past couple days... but I do find myself recognizing different plants now. Dr. Lyon kept saying that after a while, recognizing them kind of gives you a sense of placement as to where you are and what to expect habitat-wise. Now when I see certain trees, I think "Oh, well that makes sense." Furthermore, it's not just trees in a blur anymore, I know some of their names or at least I have an idea of what family they might fall under.

Dry forest...

Acacia in the dry scrub habitat. (worry not..  the habitat is only that green because of all the rain.) You can tell because of the type of (pinnate/bi-pinnate) leaves and thorns along the stem/branch. The thorns serve as protection for the tree, and the flowers. It's part of the fabaceae family.

This, is a single flower of the leucaena, it's part of the  fabaceae family as well.

But this is how it looks on the tree. So the whole fluffy puff is really a bunch of flowers, not just one.