Waiting for life to become a little less exciting...

By 7:07 PM , , ,

"I think I need a bottle with a genie in it."
-Ray J "One wish"


I hate making decisions. I especially hate making final decisions.

I hate how they have consequences. *shudder* Why must there be consequences?

I hate how they are so absolute.

I hate how they change things and colour them black OR white... no allowances for shades of gray.

I hate following through even though I'm still riddled with uncertainty.
I hate having final consequences.


"Of all the things I believed in...
I just wanna get it over with..."

Yesterday was horrible. I kept finding myself in positions and looking at it going... "Wow... I don't want this right now, right in this moment" and not wanting to say it because while I'm certain I can't deal with it right now, I might be able to deal with it in the future... And I'm scared that a consequence would be a permanent closure on these doors lest I say "I'm done.. I'm through."

It was so sad... Everything that I thought I knew. Everything that I thought wanted. Everything that I was accustomed to for so long... I was looking at it as an observer, rather than me in the situation, and thinking "What am I doing?"


Seems I've fallen in love with the r&b genre recently... Yummy.

"As a matter of fact, I was the one who said I love you first"

"Of all the things I believed in...
I just wanna get it over with...
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old...
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine...
...But I'm not giving in this time
...The one thing that I tried to hold on to...

...And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star"
-Michelle Branch "Goodbye to you"

Shelli out.

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