Don't play with it

So this has been the most interesting week. The irony is that I'm inspired. The sad part is that my grades don't seem to be reflecting it.

So it started off on a sour note, and in retrospect it seemed like I endeavored everyone to join me in the pity party I was hosting. Fortunately, I don't like attending other people's pity parties and nor do my friends. So one of them, in not so sympathetic terms told me exactly what I should do with my pity aspirations and ran me. I took offense, but now, I realize they were right.

Every moment you spend being depressed and unhappy, is a moment you can spend otherwise inspired, happy, doing something productive, working towards your dreams, etc.

So... I've had some time to cool down and do some reflection.

I started thinking seriously about my life again. What would I like to be doing ideally? Who would the ideal me be with, what sort of friends would I have, what goals would I want to achieve, etc... They say the first step to being successful is to create the idea of the ideal person you'd like to be down to the colour he/she paints their nails if he/she paints their nails at all. And then, become that person.

So I thought about my ideal major and what I would like to do... And I found myself wishing that if SGU offered a Communications program that it would be more along the lines of what I'd want ideally as opposed to an English Degree. Then that whole walk with purpose, collide with destiny thing happened.

That is, I went to my last Lit class the next day and the prof told us that she's trying to launch a Communications track under Liberal Studies and we should be able to do a semester abroad with the possibility of interning with CNN, Disney World, etc... Now, it's not written in stone... But SGU has become that much more a tolerable place for me. And the idea couldn't have presented itself at a more receptive moment.

Now, I can actually say I have something that I'm happy to work towards...

***

For less important news, I'm annoyed and frustrated and I should probably just go sleep. But I can't, because I have an essay due tomorrow that needs to be finished (and started). Double stupes.

I conclude, I don't have to take this. I already foresee this whole holiday weekend not just flying by the way I would like, but dragging me through each borderline intolerable/painful/boring/nostalgic moment like Christmas... and 10 years from now I'll still be complaining about it at every and any given opportunity but by then I could say it's over and done with and perhaps some of my annoyance would've ebbed away - I doubt, but one can hope. Hopefully I won't end up repeating it every year, and being in this same situation every year. Stupes. Know what? Promise to self - my birthday will not suck. I am determined to enjoy it regardless. I'm going to start planning from now.. Hmph.. Three cheers for celebration.

 I'm going to party. I'm going to bake a cake. I'm going to celebrate with friends. I'm going to wear a cute dress - or something cute. I'm going to buy myself a celebratory cocktail the night and a pina colada (yes I know that's a cocktail too) during the course of the day. I will not allow myself to be disappointed in any way, shape or form. It's going to be epic.

Know what? I can do better than that... first rule of avoiding disappointment, lower your expectations.

However, all for now, I reserve the right to be annoyed. And I shall continue to be annoyed for the next couple minutes until I obliterate all annoying thought with my essay. Until I fall asleep and hopefully it shall not assault me in my dreams...

I ♥ you know who... Suddenly annoyed.

Shelli out.
Deuce, it's been real.