Don't play with it

There seems to be an error in my template html... *cries* or perhaps it's just my browser... oh the disaster... grr.... *skims through msn contact list desperately looking for daniel..*

The End.

I'm in a low mood. I'm confident that it would pass... But that knowledge doesn't stop me from feeling how I feel right now.

Have you ever felt inexplicably sad...? And quiet...? Not necessarily lonely, but wanting to be alone...? And just wanted to sleep the day away...? But you don't feel you deserve to sleep because there's just so much more you could potentially be doing with your wake time...? Papers to write, courses/material to study, yet you just can't summon the energy or willpower to do anything. To want to do anything... because you just feel low..?

I feel perhaps maybe I've been too positive over the past couple of days... My cup runneth over with sheer positive thoughts and good vibrations... (lol)

A friend of mine was worried about the Business exam Friday and I convinced her she could do it despite obvious hindrances, and I convinced myself I could teach myself the material... And I did. I didn't fully grasp the concepts in class, but between using the textbook and getting Russel to walk me through and fine tune little concepts here and there, I got it. But the exam was a disaster. I felt so optimistic about the first exam and I did so horribly. Now I'm sure I was more thorough for this one, yet all my optimism has exited through that exit *points* stage left. (Snagglepuss)

Then the day before I made a special effort to get to school early... That is I tried to get up at 4.30 am to leave by 5-5.30... to make it to school on time for my 7.55 am class. My aunt woke me by accident, fortunately or unfortunately, at minutes to 6.30 or 6.40... I can't remember... All I know is that I reached there half an hour late. I was so annoyed... And I really tried.

Perhaps I'm not trying hard enough... yes yes... that must be it.


Sigh... Oh well...

On a plus note, I was craving junk food so I went to the deli 'round the corner and got me some.... cheesy popcorn, onion rings, snickers, marshmallow treat squares, cake and Italian ice. I finished the popcorn, onion rings, half of the cake slice and I'm going to be moving on to the Italian ice in a minute.

Bleh.


I've lost my zest to finish this post.

Perhaps I shall write a fresh one with my new philosophy on life as I intended to do days ago (but I've been so busy)... Anyways...

A humble Shelli,
Out.

Isn't it amazing how interactive sites are becoming these days?

Little by little everyone is joining the wagon of getting technologically advanced... Some of us are creating blogs for our businesses to market our companies as being more people friendly...Others are creating interactive software that you can embed very easily into your blog/website/facebook/myspace (etc) called widgets.

A very popular magazine, Reader's Digest, has joined along to "get with the program". The site now features several widgets such as:

Word Power: It reminds me a bit of wordchallenge, for those who have facebook. You could challenge your friends in it as well.

Daily Laughs: have daily jokes in the form of cartoons, photos and videos from RD.

Prop my photo: This is targeted for Facebook users. You can have fun with your pickets and download the application on your profile page. A fun easy way to share pics with your friends and family. You could also enter the RD funny photo contest. Click here RD Laughs Main for more info.

Toolbars: For information junkies with IE or Firefox, you can add the toolbar and have a world of articles right at the click of your mouse button.

Here is one that fascinated me.... challenge me... I dare you.

Take the challenge and play Reader's Digest Word Power -- build your vocabulary, boost your brainpower and challenge a friend to beat your score! Our readers love the wordpower game. Where else can you test your knowledge, increase your vocabulary and have fun at the same time? <br>And now you can challenge your friends on word power and try to beat their best score. What are you waiting for? Play the word power game! <br>

To get this widget, and more... visit the widgets and download pages on ReadersDigest.com Widgets.
Add them to your blog...facebook...where ever your fancy is... It's fun...!

I was reading a review about Lost in Translation and I stumbled across this vid..



You could check out the post "The Modern Face of Racism" and how it integrates the clip in here...

You know, I realize in order to reach that peak of compassion I'll have to let go of some things.

I thank my parents for being who they are and for being my parents. This I believe was not coincidence... For had I not been their child, I would not have grown up and lived through the experiences that have shaped me into the person that I am today.

Because of my heritage, it's difficult for me to truly understand several concepts or theories that many people still cling to (absurdly) in this day of modern living. For example, racism. Now, I'm not going to go all out and state that I have never made of laughed a racist joke or encouraged a stereotype, but for the most part I try to stay clear of it. Why should we cling so dearly to the colour of skin as a monumental issue when there's so many more important severe issues at hand.

I was talking to my God brother Boni earlier and I was asking him if he was going to vote. He said no. I asked him why not. He said because he, as one person, would not make a difference and we need to be changing the world not America. We need to heal global perceptions.

Now I beg to differ. Right now, America is still the current super power. The crash of their economy is creating Earthquakes across the globe. One reasonable step would taking a chance and vote for the lesser evil in the elections. America cannot endure another 4 years under a regime that follows Bush. The world cannot endure such either...

Now the issue here is not my God brother Boni and his willing to vote or not. It's not whether America has a great influence of the world...

The point of my rambling today comes down to racism.

People have been walking around in self-delusional perception that racism doesn't exist. The main issue I'm hearing... what it all comes down to is white man vs. black man in this elections....

Sure we're tuned in every night watching the debates... but many people are closet racists. Hundreds of years after the abolition of slavery the racist philosophies still persist in the hearts and minds of people . I'm not saying all Americans are racist, mind you, I'm saying many more are racist than those that are openly admitting that they are.



Those people, be it in reality, a majority or a minority (we'll see in November), are not judging Obama and McCain on the basis of their policies and beliefs fairly... the deciding factor is skin colour. They are spending time looking for faults... God forbid a black man rule over a white mans country. *rolls my eyes*

As an artist, the shades I see are merely to enhance my perceptions and colour my soul to convey my message to the viewer. I don't discriminate against my purple pencil crayon anymore than my green pencil crayon. I may not use them all as much, but I love all my colours.

Each race has gone through their fair share of racial prejudice... so I'm in no way advocating that Black prejudice is the only one that should be recognized.

However, what I am saying is... get over it already.



You are not indian, black, white, whatever... purely. No race is pure today... and if you so want to debate semantics, races aren't real. We don't discriminate against dogs... we pick them based on functions and purposes. But we don't hate on puppies for being white and black dalmations, or brown labradors, or one blue eyed huskies. We see them as dogs. Likewise, lizards... we see an iguana - we say a big lizard. We see a bearded dragon - big lizard. We see a gecko - small lizard. They are all collectively lizards. We don't criticize them for being inherently something thats coded in their dna.

Likewise, people are people.

And since we're supposedly such religious based people... because on some level, at some point we want to be spiritual...

So ask yourself... what would Jesus do? What would Mohammed do? What would Vishnu do? Who ever you believe in... would they condone your prejudices? Your destructive beliefs? Your attempts to take away from harmony and unity in God's society... Your attempts to fuel the destruction of His/Her ideal plans...?

Does this bring you closer to God? Does it make you sleep better at night?

People... let it it go already.


***

Had many people had their way... I wouldn't be here today. I'm sure I am not the only person with such a testimony.

The knowledge of my heritage and the pride of being fused with so many cultures has helped me to see the world through colourful lenses with a smile, as opposed to artificially colour stained lenses... I've met so many wonderful people throughout my life thus far, black, white, mixed, indian, etc... All special in their own way... And I assure you what made them special had nothing to do with race. And if we had problems, it had to do with issues of being human, not issues of skin pigment.



I'm not sure how well I typed this all out...
It's just something that entered my mind based on something that just happened at home here. Nothing to do with race... But let's just call it flashbacks, to a flashback, of a flashback to a time when racism did exist.


Shelli out.
Leave any comments have you any.

Natasha Bedingfield said it perfectly in 'Soulmate', if everyone has a soul mate and there's one for every one, why is she still on her own? Why indeed?

I hardly think she's unique in her dilemma. The reality is whilst there are so many couples out there, lining the benches, walking the streets hand in hand, sitting on the lawns with their picnic baskets looking annoying adorable, there are so many more singles out there.

One of the main reasons we tend to notice how many couples are there and the level of their cuteness is from the mere fact that we're not a part of such a union... at the moment.

Of course, with the rise of technology there are so many different avenues to cut through all the protocol and the hunt and find exactly what you're looking for, especially with the increasinly hectic lifestyles. Think the 'Do you like pina coladas?' song. In the song, the guy replies to a column in a newspaper where the female listed what she likes and what she's looking for. No longer do you have to hunt through classifieds... The hunt has been made simple with True.com... and unlike many of the other popular online dating services like match.com the service comes with no charge.

True not only helps with the search, but they recognize that even though they could bring you to the individual, sometimes the wrapping may imply a safety that doesn't exist. Mind you, this isn't true of just finding a date online, you don't always run a background check on every person you come across on your daily walks of life. With True, you are able to control who can see your profile. There are proactive processes that ensure safer, smarter dating. There are a host of articles guiding you and explaining various safety tips and suggestions with regards to dating and making one aware of the existing risks... and if one is too nervous, there's always the option of going on a virtual date. (Those can be just as adorable and twice as safe...)

Thus, I conclude, whats the worse that could happen in totality? You remain single all the days of your busy life... At the very least, it's impossible to not meet someone you atleast share some interest and click with... And for the very best, you could meet your true love.

...And that, isn't what we're all seeking after anyways?

...And it won't even cost you a penny....you could search for free.

Ey, Facebook is a kinda ting eh? A jus dey browsing good good an nex ting ah jus dey stumbling upon d births of d juiciest scandals... wha kinda ting is dat? I fine ppl need to b real careful wha dey postin dey eh... especially if you dun fren dem ppl yuh doh wha see.

***

Life Lesson #4: The universe does not exist in complete chaos... or any kind of chaos for that matter. Because you don't understand something doesn't mean it fails to work due to your lack of understanding.


Life has a funny way of working itself out. I believe the complexities and trials are just there to make it a retrospective exciting memory, some of which take longer to appreciate and find the humour than others, but excitement nuntheless.

It's a cold day in NYC, but then again, what would be a day in Fall if nothing but cold? This is a check that you are living, and the systems of how things are supposed to be and ought to be are working. The bit of discomfort of the cold I'm experiencing is just to reassure my existence and the normalcy that... yea...

When I first came up here, it was interesting. I mean that in all ways, negative, postive, neutral, whatever... Readjusting to being back at school. Having people constantly trying to create little earthquakes and fractures in my path. Learning to manage funds tighter because of the allure of the city makes it necessary.

I lost confidence in my academic ability. I'm doing 4 subjects - Ancient Greek Philosophy, Biology, American Governments and Introduction to Business. I have done a bit of work in all these areas prior to starting Baruch. However, having not been in school for 2 years kind of makes my return a bit daunting.

After much (constant) complaining, I've got the results back from my first set of exams. Not that this is particular unusual for me, but I've seen my errors and how simple they were and I've accepted my grades. I realize most of my errors in the multiple choice was due to glossing over some major points as opposed to taking it seriously. It has naught to do with detailed studying, but more to do with focused studying. You could know a little and do as well at m.c. exams as opposed to being able to b.s. your way through essays. It's about being thorough in the little that you do know, so as to be able to rationalize your points.

I entered those exams with a defeatist attitude. In my Political Science (Amer. Gov't) exam, the questions that were supposedly difficult acording to the professor, when I went through my paper as we were discussing answers - I got them right. I got really obvious answers wrong. If I think back to the day of the exam, I had very low expectations. I practically gave up and made a personal promise to myself to take the next exam more seriously. I got full marks on my essay in the exam. I was so pleased... and surprised. I would've gotten an A+ with the essay alone. I ended up with a C for landing smack on the 50/50 line in the M.C. (which was 75% of the grade). I ended up with 76 which is a C. But I'm not upset... I now how I could've done better.

I got a B+ in the homework assignment. I recognize my faults there. I know how to improve it.

I got an A on my Bio quiz. I'm so pleased... I got 76 (a B or C) last quiz. I studied hard, made a couple more simple mistakes, I ended up with 90. YAY me.

As your Business... my essays are fine, A+ in the last(and only, thus far) one...and 76 in the m.c. exam... Again, I'm working on the problem.

I say life is so funny because sometimes you need to be humbled and be in a bad position to appreciate and understand what a good position is.

One cannot say there is too much chaos in the world. Everyday I realize more and more that the universe has a plan that we're not privy to. Everything balances itself out, despite man's attempts to ruin and destroy in their efforts to make their existence more "pleasing". But there is a method to every bit of madness. It's not pure chaos. It's just chaos because we cannot understand it with hindsight.

I've been through a series of questioning periods... I realized that the universe provides all the answers with time and patience. Thus, it's not whether you find solutions... It's whether you're asking the right questions.

Mmmmm... I love life.

***



Beres Hammond - 'Step Aside' (live version)

***

Ohhh.. and this is a good friend of mine Thamz.... I love her version of the song.. clickety click below and check it out...

And now for a moment of vanity....

3 shades...!


I'm so vain.. and yes I know this song is about me....

Shelli

I had an interesting idea posed to me today by my aunt. I'm not sure why I won't let it go, or why it seems important to me or not.

It seems as if she has very fixed ideas on what is Christian and what isn't.

First of all, every person suits a purpose in the balance of society. Each job is important - I guess not the murderers and thieves (but that's a different story... I think they indicate where the role of society is not functioning properly).

The issue was whether or not models are immoral.

Back home, I was a model. At no point did model ever equate immoral, ungodly slut in my mind. I knew lots of models who were intelligent girls/guys on the straight and narrow with real goals and admirable accomplishments under their belts. And, if they desired to be a full-time model, I didn't see a problem with that either.

Now, this isn't going to be the most in depth, intellectual discussion... but here goes... read on if you may...

Models by dictionary definition is....

a standard or example for imitation or comparison.

2.	a representation, generally in miniature, to show the construction or appearance of something.

3.	an image in clay, wax, or the like, to be reproduced in more durable material.

4.	a person or thing that serves as a subject for an artist, sculptor, writer, etc.

5.	a person whose profession is posing for artists or photographers.

6.	a person employed to wear clothing or pose with a product for purposes of display and advertising.

A model is a set example or standard for imitation or comparison purposes. The issue was related towards people models... so we're talking of models for clothes, commercials, magazines, all sorts of products, all shapes and such. All of these people are bad...?

Ok, I'm not arguing fairly. She was questioning female models who advertised clothing or wore very little in commercials. I agree to some extent some models may appear to have questionable characters due to the nature of the photo shot and who its for - but that is not for me to judge. However, I do not agree that clothes models, e.g, those who model for Victoria Secrets because they model lingerie makes them immoral. People like to see how things look on other people. Despite how much we wouldn't want to admit it, we are a monkey see monkey do nation.

George Carlin made a point in one of his stand-up shows that the Commandment "Though shalt not covet thy neighbours goods" (...? I'm not sure I quoted this properly.. feel free to correct me...) that that is hardly a valid commandment. (Remember this was in good humour people) He said that coveting is what gets the economy going, i.e, you see your neighbour's car - you like how it looks, drives, economics with gas, perfect - BAM - you want it too.

I agree. These models aren't modelling for the sakes of having people lust behind their bodies. The fashion industry desires to reflect fashion ideals, which have been going in cycles. Thus, "slutty clothing" was "cool" in society's "conservative" existence decades ago. Mini skirts, poom poom shorts/hot pants, crop tops, etc these aren't new concepts. My mom and aunts all wore mini skirts "back in their days" which was a long time ago. Does that make them a slut? No it doesn't. Not in the least. They wore heels too... *gasp* prostitutes wear heels... do you think...?

no... I really don't.

Back to my example, the purpose of Victoria Secret models modelling the season's line is not to have people lusting after their bodies - it is to show how the clothes look on real people. Not just a mannequin or on a clothes hanger.

Based on my little knowledge on the industry, I'm aware that there are even plus size models. Why would you get plus size models and not just buy/make a bigger mannequin...? Because people like to see other people wearing/doing things suited to their character/lifestyles/tastes. God doesn't necessarily enter at this level. This is mere business.

Furthermore, I enquired about Miss World competitions and such... she said that she wouldn't let her daughter do it because, again, it's not moral to reveal so much of your body.

Now, thousands of girls, if not millions, enter competitions from the local levels go right up - applying from the most conservative nations to the most liberal ones with full advertance of the nature of the show. Does it make them immoral to wear bikinis on live televison? Does it make me immoral to wear a bikini on the beach? No.

These competitions on face value stand for with very high standards. I remember the at the local level all the rules regarding whether you're allowed to enter the pagent - must be of a certain age group, never married, never had children, etc. When one wins, you're in a position to advocate some great change in the world. Whether or not you choose to make a moral contribution is dependent on the individual - you can't condemn the entire pagent for it.

I'm not sure if that makes any sense...

If one is dressing conservative, but by night isn't behaving very conservatively with multiples of multiples... then does that mean they are morally correct?

So that brings me back to what I was talking about last post... who's to judge? Sin is sin... and since we are all sinners, we should all be the poster children of advocating positive change and inspiring those around is to better as opposed to looking at something and knocking it as irrationally bad.

Also, you can't not support something and support it at the same time. You can't want to look at the models in the magazines and see whats in fashion, and argue that the girls are misrepresenting their characters. Likewise, the commercials and such.

Don't half-support it in the smarts...

And again, if you feel so strongly about an issue. Not because you are but one means change can't happen... It's only takes one extra to make an even number odd, one extra/less chromosome to bring about deformities, one act of kindness to bring forth and inspire multiple acts... just one.

I implore, be the change that you wish to see in the world.

Listen to those who question your beliefs, because they help to do two things - show you the flaws in your thinking, or strengthen your beliefs, or even more.

I've lost my train of thought again...

All in all I conclude, I doubt it's really modelling that is bad. As I read once when I wrote a post on GaiaOnline against the content on television, the media is merely a reflection of what society is - it isn't what cultivates it. It's not just modelling, it could be being a lawyer, a doctor, an artist, a teacher, a Christian.... it could be anything. There are always going to be a few bad ones amongst the set, but you shouldn't condemn it in its entirety because of the stereotype...

Because if we were to sit down and really check it... we all fall into some stereotype at one point or another.

Shelli out.

I just saw one of the most poignant films, for the first time, in a long time called 'Boy A'.

The setting is English, the characters (I think) are English and they perform convincingly before the cameras.

Anyways...

'Boy A' is about a young boy who was convicted as a young age for a murder and the story begins at his release.

Tagline: "Who decides who gets a second chance?"

See it here...... Boy A

Read the reviews on IMDB.com (Internet Movie Database)

------


STOP READING NOW if... you intend to watch the film... because the following may/will contain spoilers. Click anywhere here to see the movie...


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In Boy A, Jack is Boy A. At the age of 14 he was sentenced to jail for being an accomplice to a murder of a little girl.

The story starts when he is released from prison. His mentor/parole officer/social worker helps to create a new life for him in a different city.

He gets a job, makes new friends, gets a girlfriend... experiments with drinking and drugs. Mind you, he's seeing things through the eyes of practically a teenager as he missed out experience the "come of age" period whilst in jail. Almost everything is a wonder for him in the beginning... and then he gets into life.

During the time spent in the city, he manages to rescue a little girl in a car accident about the same age that was murdered. He also saves his friend from getting attacked and seriously injured from these two HUGE men.

He suffers from internal debates as to whether to tell his gf and best friend the truth about his past, as opposed to the version his officer advised him to do. However, because of the level of passion of the families vengeance and anger, the officer implores and discourages him from doing so.. no one must know he's here or who he really is/was. Later, a 20 grand bounty is placed for his murder. The newspapers did a "future/how he should look now" picture... and his past just kept following him round like a bad habit.

The tagline of the movie is : "Who decides who gets a second chance?"

Now the above explains the storyline... And when you put all the elements together, it's gripping. Atleast to me.

The movie is expressed so delicately... that everything about it seems so fragile. Throughout, there are a series of flashbacks that explains who Jack was prior to his re-invention as a boy and how he got there.

As a boy, he lived a very wounded existence. His father had no time for him, and his mother was dying of cancer and too caught up with herself to care about raising a son. Thus, he was alone. Neither of his parents were willing to give him a listening ear, and later on, they didn't really fight to keep their son out of prison either.

He was bullied and beaten up daily by his classmates... and with having to deal with all his difficulties, he could hardly focus on anything school related whilst in class. He eventually meets his best, and only friend, Phillip. Phillip is a very angry, abused lost soul as well. He was sexually raped/molested by his older brother repeatedly... and gets very violent and defensive in situations outside of the sexual abuse. I assume, since he can't stop his brother, he figures he could at least control what happens to himself outside of it and protect those he cares about.

His violence is seen in how quickly his anger flairs with protecting Jack (aka Eric) and later on with the eel/snake/fish (whatever it was).

The little girl, was a classmate of Eric's. She sits at the same table... the two boys caught her making out with an older boy on the lawn...in the bush... However, they care very little, and were sharpening a knife, I guess for their next fishing expedition.

She appears and questions what they're doing... Eric defends their actions in a gentle way... after all, they're just doing little boy things. She then insults him and Phillip, calling them spastic and worthless. Phillip gets upset and slashes her hand to make her stop.... she says basically he's unimportant and no one cares about him and she will tell her father... and Phillip becomes enraged, to me, more by what she's saying about him than about her going to complain to his father, and starts to slash her more and they tumble their way downhill where the fight and screams continues. Eric watches helplessly, uncertain what to do... How the flashback is told, very little is revealed about how much of a contribution he makes to the murder beyond not stopping it... But I believe he didn't want to disappoint his only friend regardless of what he did/didn't do.

The movie in no way, makes less of the murder. It is gruesome and it is not right. However, it paints a sympathetic tale of the young boys and their state of mind.

Phillip "killed himself"... but in reality, he was murdered. Eric knew this, but no one would believe him or care even if he explained it.

Like I said... his past follows him around like a bad habit. His officer works so hard to keep Jack's fragile life afloat, up until his jealous depressive bum of a son appears. The son then sets out, maliciously reveals Jack's identity and sits back and watches smirking as Jack's life falls apart.

Jack's best friend turns his back on him.. He gets fired from his job... and his gf refuses to see him.. the officer's son hides the officer's cellphone so Jack can't get in contact with him... and the media is at his door.

The fragile soul escapes through a window in his roof, walks the train tracks to the station and catches a train. He meets his gf there where she says "she would've forgiven him... in time" had he told her the truth... He leaves parting messages on everyone's phone and kills himself.

Now, who decides who deserves a second chance?

Like I was telling Russel, people don't run to bring in psychologists into the courtroom because we don't want to know what factors really led up to the crime. Hell, we don't even want to know why the criminal did what they did - unless its on some grandeur level that the media gets a hold of and it becomes a curious spectacle. What we want to do is judge the crime and put the criminals behind bars, where they belong. *evil laughter* We'd make them stay there forever if we could... because once you hit prison, no matter what you don't come back better, unless Jesus finds you there.

Ok... right.

End sarcasm.

So... what happens to these people after their time is up? We didn't care that much for their backgrounds, so we don't have that much to work with... do we even really want to rehabilitate them?

This movie shows all this. It brings up all of these issues surrounding such a touchy subject. It's not advocating that murder is an ok crime, nor am I. But it is also saying, who are we to judge? What gives us that right?

We are humans... A religious society supposedly - be it Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, etc... We're supposed to be striving towards being better people. Not striving towards being better people with some exceptions to the rule. This being one of them. We're supposed to want to help fix each other, make each other whole... and yet we wonder why there are so many divisions in such an individualistic society where no one really wants to help anyone without some direct benefit.


The little boys parents, didn't give a hoot hoot about them. They had to fend for themselves, teach themselves what they know, and all they had was each other.

It wasn't right, the way they were bullied as kids by their peers. And I'm sure those kids didn't mean to bully them either - it's what they know. They are the products of a mean vicious society. Kids aren't born inherently evil, and even if they are, it's society from family to school to the community they live in that shapes it.

The officer's son is a bum. He's depressive and living a half existence... However, from the snippets being said, he was hardly given that much attention and he's trying to offer an olive branch and actually have a real father-son relationship. Again, you don't approve of what he does... but you understand the hurt he feels and why he did it.

Even his teacher... I don't remember ever picking on my students like that. And if I did, I'm sure I tried to speak to them afterward or find out more about what's causing them to behave like that... I only remember once or twice every really getting upset with my kids... but they're children.. and you never know what impact your words and actions may have on their lives. I wonder how she would feel knowing his story, why he never knew his work, the opportunity she had as an adult to be a positive influence in his life, and how she closed and padlocked that door shut.

The little girl was incredibly mean, especially for her age. I wanted to slap her and tell her have some respect. She was hardly a saint... just like all of these people in the movie.

No man or woman is a saint. We are all sinners.. so because we haven't been tried before a court jury and judge does that make us less of a sinner? Does it make our sins that much acceptable? Why? Sin is sin.

Knowing this... one should be able to forgive and let go. If you could forgive yourself for your sins, and your friends and family for theirs... why not other people?

Since we've established we're not perfect. Why can't we not work towards being better human beings... actually helping our fellow man/woman... do what the "scriptures" say... even if you are just one person, like Ghandi says, "Be the change you wish to see in the world"... or Smoochie in Death to Smoochie, "I can't change the world, but atleast I could make a little dent..."

All these collective dents bring about change... unless that is the real issue. We liked this crazy existence just the way it is? We don't really want to change it. We just want to keep it for dinner conversation and depressing newscasts headlines and newspapers. We like to pity ourselves. Damn depressives.


So... taking this all in.

This boy leaves prison at age 24, hoping for a second chance at life. After living a practically deemed worthless existence void of a parent's love, love of your peers, appreciation from society, etc etc. He reacted the way anyone would having been through those things during those tender years.

He's trying to make up for what he did. Who knows the wealth of positivity and change he could offer to the world? He could end up helping rehabilitate juvenille murderers... re-shape their thinking and make them proper, better human beings. He saved one girl's life. He saved his friend's life. He became a hero of sorts.... but he killed someone once. And that is all we see or care about.

We don't care about the change and effort he's making. We don't care about the potential of positive influence. We want him dead and out of our lives.. that wicked wicked boy.

In the end, he kills himself. It leaves you feeling everything but happy. It leaves your soul drenched in an inexplicable sadness with a complexed moral...

Who decides who gets a second chance?

Who are we to judge...?

***

Shelli out