Don't play with it

So... this year much happened, much didn't happen. * I started gymming with Shads - started all hot and sweaty, rewarded ourselves with KFC and called it a day. * Candice and I convinced ourselves there was some booty growth - regardless how minimal. * Reaquainted with lots of old dear friends, in that 'soul food' way. * Met some awesome new ones, beautiful souls. Discovered some toxic spirits as well. * Made it to too many parties, including Sandblast and regrettably, Unity Ball. * Got myself involved in way too much drama and other unmentionables. * Saw Becky, Nata's lil sister, literally grow from a little girl to a teenager in like a flash of a minute - how do they grow so fast? Hell, I saw Nata and Shad's grow up pretty fast this year too. * I saw people enter my life. I saw people leave my life. * Did way too much crazy stuff with Sherry, partner in crime. * I cut my hair. * Attended lots of girly tea parties. * Got the wheels turning with my paintings. * Finally, got back on stage and started performing poetry again. * Networked like crazy, met some amazing contacts. * Snorkeled in the Carenage. * Took part in filming of a clip. Started another Eve of Eve (New Years). * Explored the forest like I live there... * I switched degrees (to a double), then I switched back. * Found some sort of momentum with my blog posts - I know, I know, not good enough... but I'm getting there. *

"...but I can't delay anymore...the time for mourning has passed, whether we feel we can adjust to it or not...and 2012 really isn't a year to feel sorry for oneself but rather to get it. And all the other things and such and what-not. 

Basically what I'm trying to say with all my disjointed attempts is this: While 2011 more or less sucked for me, it had its bright moments. Remember that hope is the proverbial fuel of our starship to the future and while it does good to remember the past, it does not bode well to dwell on it and allow it to cast a shadow on the present, thus affecting your future. This was the harshest lesson I had to learn this year and one I had to learn very quickly to keep what I wanted... 

The Hope that tomorrow will be better, the Wisdom to remember that having hope alone may not be enough and hard work WILL have to be put in towards that better tomorrow and also the Knowledge that you won't always be alone.Raise a glass to the future, because if I'm not mistaken, it belongs to you and I. Cheers."
-Jamal

Cheers to the good memories and good friends that made 2011 tolerable, and in odd ways, memorable.

Kisses!
Shelli

I've made so many promises to myself to update recently but as usual, life happened.

A dear friend of mine, Sher, once gave me a journal a few years back with these Bible quotes on every other page. The words were thoughtful but I had not a clue as to what I would do with it. It was one of those gifts that you appreciate and on a deep level want for yourself but would never actually go and buy it as... there's other things you want more.

Ironically, when I was finally able to decide on what to do with it, I turned it into a goals journal. I try to write in it at least three times a year - to state my intended goals, reflect on progress, reflect on overall achievement at the end. What's my trend? Surprisingly, I actually do cover all of my goals, even if not in its entirety. Funnily enough, I also tend to not really cover anything until November-December. *wink* It's in keeping with my "I work best under pressure" theory.

This year was my most ambitious year I'd say - and with great risk comes great failures. The funny part of this story is that I swore it would be a drama free, successful year - instead it was the complete opposite, which I had not prepared for. Lesson to be learned? It's good to have a plan, but it's better to be practical where you can be with worse comes to worse situations.

I remember earlier up as I approached my 23rd birthday, annoyed at aging and not feeling like I've accomplished very much by that age, I pestered everyone about their experiences about their 23rd. The consensus was that it was a period of growth, learning and understanding of self. I thought to myself "ahhh psshhhh, whatever... let's see how this is gonna go."


As the year teeters to a close I must grudgingly admit, it has been a spiritual year of sorts. I once read somewhere that your 20s are about self-discovery, defining who you are, experimenting and so forth. My 20s thus far have been utterly disorienting in the manner of which one jumps through a rabbit hole unintentionally and just prays for the best.

What I've learned - finally - was that maybe I've been too idealistic in my approach to life. I still believe the world needs a little more naivety as people as too aware of all that's bad... But I think because of that awareness, it necessitates some sort of grounding within oneself within the real world. This is how it is - it could change, be yourself, but this is the world we live in currently.

I think it took me a while to reconcile that not all who listen are listening because they care, not all who seem to care, truly do and not everyone who seems trusting should be trusted.

I found myself disappointed, unhappy, somewhat bitter, and struggling to orient myself most of the time. At the very least, it's been truly experimental, riddled with bad mistakes and decisions, and some even bold ones. Who am I kidding? I'm being euphemistic. In many ways, it's been hell but there are a few people that helped make it heaven. Thanks for riding that wave with me, you know who you are. One must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation, and gracious for those who stick around for the ride.



Most of my goals for this year were practical, financial, self-improvement goals. By time mid-year, I pretty much gave up hope on accomplishing anything as everything just seemed to be going wrong the harder I tried and then something magical happened.

I stopped trying. I think somewhere around here I was just too exhausted and decided to just ride out the year and try anew 2012.

What happened? Life slowed down for the first time in years. I was finally able to see. As corny as this may sound, I was able to take my own advice that I had been giving to other people through out. I learned to fix what I can, leave what I can't, forgive myself and move on. It's hard to do it, if you still have the fight in you. I think it's only when you've reached your moment of pis aller (last resort) does some sort of light start to shine.

Every single piece of advice I've ever given, or had been given to me, suddenly made sense. (...well not every piece, you know what I mean.) Not in the "Yeah... yeah... yeah..." way but in the way of an epiphany, almost as if things would never be the same.

In turn what happened? I was able to reflect on situations that happened through a different light. Earlier in the year a friend told me, "Third person is a motherf*cker." While I grasped the concept, only now I finally got some true semblance of understanding. When you're able to remove yourself from a situation, only then can you truly start to see just what it is or could be and come up with a sensible resolution. Until that moment, it's just sheer emotion, irrational acts and lots of prayers and hoping for the best.


After the mid-point, things got better. Those goals I wanted to achieve? Guess who got a few of her art pieces sold.

I also reluctantly found myself in bittersweet situations as I realized that I've been holding on to a lot of people and things for sentimental reasons - their chapter has since closed in my life. It's time to let go. Letting go has been a lot easier with those who're supposed to be on their way out... much, much easier than I thought.

I was also able to see some people in different lights. There are those dear friends and family that I love, always will, and I truly believe will always be a part of my life. If it's meant to be, it will be. I've learnt being a part of my life doesn't mean separation anxiety once you disappear. True friendships are not about those who are with you every day doing randomness, it's about those who are there when the chips are down and ready to help you back up. I have a few gems.

Toni Morrison once said, "If you wanna fly, you got to give up the sh*t that weighs you down." With that said, I've learned to say 'no.' Since I'm no longer stretching myself thinly, badgering myself about doing things I don't really want to do, joining projects, adding new hobbies, etc... I get to do more things that make me happy and, by default, others. They say when you walk with purpose, you collide with destiny. I wrote a whole post about this a few months back. Once your attitude to life changes, the things you attract changes. When you open yourself to the mere possibility of possibilities, they start to reveal themselves because finally you're ready for them.


When you're gone... it's kind of like that story of the horse with the limp leg fetching a bag of grain on its back. No one knew where it came from, but they could've told you where it went from the trail of grain and dragged hoof marks. What sort of trail are you leaving behind? What's your story? And... it's never too late to change that story.

Les Brown said that people often wonder about what sort of funerals they would have, who would come, who truly cares, etc. But, no one ever thinks about all the hopes and dreams that would surround your casket dead with you... lamenting that you were the only person they felt capable of achieving these brilliant dreams and now, they're going to die with you. The graveyard is the richest place on Earth - it's filled the best ideas and inventions that never came to pass.

People focus too much on why things can't be done, rather than what can be done. Remember the road to mediocrity is paved by the hands of practical people. None of the great inventions past, and great inventions to come, were deemed practical nor possible but it just requires the belief that it could be done... and the attempt of doing it. And as the saying goes... there are the people who make history, and the people who endure it.


On that note, as another friend told me a few weeks ago, "turn your bruises into wisdom." Let each day be a testimony of your daily effort to self-improvement, another effort towards achieving your own personal greatness, and another day of bestowing some sort of positivity/happiness into the world. I mean, there will be bad days though, some days are meant to be counted, other days are meant to be weighed. And remember that ruin is the road to transformation - only after you've broken down the bad, weaker parts can you build a stronger structure.

New hair for the New Year (again)

... or not. It could also be the day I graduated to the world of being a business woman.

***

Recently, as mentioned previously, I've been trying to take my artwork more seriously and break into the art market. Naturally, it's not the easiest feat to accomplish, but I'm trying nuntheless. A ship is safe in harbour, but that is not what ships were built for.

With that said, I'm currently taking part in the "Jewels" exhibition at the Grenada Arts Council in town, located opposite the museum. I'm trying to commit to displaying my work on Friday's at Dodgy Docks, True Blue Bay Resort.

And today I took part in the True Blue Bay Resort annual Christmas bazaar.

Here are some quick early shots I took of my set-up with my phone camera.




And these following shots I borrowed from Dodgy Dock's album. (Click the hyperlink to see photos of the other bazaar stalls)

Photo creds: True Blue Resort

Photo creds: True Blue Resort

Photo creds: True Blue Resort

Photo creds: True Blue Resort

Oh! I do commissions as well. So if you're interested in a piece or a commission, or would like to see more, you're on my blog reading this post you already have a means of contacting me.

I respond to emails very quickly so... dpwithit@gmail.com

C'est tout.
Ciao,
Shelli out.

Long photo post ahead...

So due to lack of time and laziness, what should today be one post, shall be two posts combined - the trip prior and today's.

I don't think I could ever say it enough... As much as I sometimes momentarily display apprehension and reluctance to go on these trips, they have all been truly epic experiences filled with epic memories that you can tell epic stories from. I've been blessed with the repeated opportunity to see Grand Etang through real eyes rather than the touristy eyes.

I get to walk through, breathe clean air and smell the forest. I don't know all the different types of plants/trees there to identify them (as yet) but there's the woody scents with a tinge of mint and the floral scents of the wild heliconias and so forth.

I'm too tired to watermark all the photos so... if you borrow a shot, please credit.

***

The first batch of photos were from scoping the lands in Cloziér and Morne Lounge.

Both trails were along the agricultural belts.

Some of the team - myself, Daneille, Ezra & Jody

Morne Lounge

Ez and Daneille

Dennis

Myself (don't ask, I don't know what happened with my expression either) & Kester (Forest Ranger/Monkey expert)

We're going in...  Clozier

Jody, looking for the spot to start with the GPS

Daneille and Myself

Nutmeg!

Daneille

Jody & Mr. Jeremiah

Riding at the back of the pick up!

Some older shots I was supposed to post as well from 1910 ft trail...

Drinking water from a stream deep in the forest...

Drinking from the stream

LIME, signal clear even deep in the jungle...

Muddy boots!

***

Today...

The irony about today's trip is that we ended up at the Seven Sisters Falls at the end of the journey... and just last night I was telling some of my mum's friends that I had never been there before. Her friends aren't Grenadian, just got here the other day, and have been there already.

I'm not quite sure how to describe this trip. Normally, Ez would be exhausted pretty early in the game if there's many mountains to climb but she didn't. I can't quite say I felt particularly "I give up" tired at any one point. However, it did seem, to me, longer than our usual trips. But that is probably because we didn't have a defined, pre-planned route to take.

Anyways, it was a fun adventure, as per usual.

OH! And after allllllll the trekking, we saw monkeys when we came out of the forest.

Dr. P, Linda and Mr. Nimrod. All the happy faces as we just begin...

Dr. Pilcher, Linda, Jody & Ez

What was that?! Did you hear it too?

Mr. Nimrod on his way down

Heliconia

Mr. Nimrod climbing down the side

One of the (unintentional) fruits of our labour... stumbling upon the beautiful Seven Sisters Falls. These are the first two of the seven.

Ezra, Jody, Kester (our Forestry rep/Monkey expert), Mr. Nimrod

Myself

Check back soon, tentatively, there might be more pics from today's trip.

Deuces.