Don't play with it

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written." 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 12. It's OK to let your children see you cry. 13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.. 16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. 17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. 18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. 19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. 24. The most important sex organ is the brain. 25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?' 27. Always choose life. 28. Forgive everyone everything. 29. What other people think of you is none of your business. 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 33. Believe in miracles. 34.. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do. 35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young. 37. Your children get only one childhood. 38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back. 41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 42. The best is yet to come. 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 44. Yield. 45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Ok so my Digi issues have been resolved. Turns out that I wasn't even fully post-paid under my dad's network so I got charged for calls to him also.... But they've fixed the problem and I shall be compensated for my inconvenience.

First of all.... I just came off my tagged.com profile. I remember when Dia was here for summer it came up and we were talking about all how all the real freaks that miss facebook and hi5 land there. I hardly have anything on my account but one pic and some vague personal details YET I have a bunch of friend requests in my inbox. So I add them, because like I hardly pay them mind anyways... no need for too much discrimination.

I. Want. To. Go. Out. Grrrrrr.....

You know things are bad when it's only midnight and you resort to blogging after being MIA for months... or atleast it feels like it's been months since I've posted proper.

You also know its bad when you're so restless that you re-sign online after midnight, after shutting down your pc 15 minutes prior, onto your 100+ contact list IM account where there is always someone on. And funnily enough you picked the one night when the rest of the world is tired and decidedly gone to bed early but you, oh genius... spent the entire day sleeping to escape reality to only for it to catch up with you in the moment the world is most silent and you're most awake with your own thoughts.

I stumbled across a photo online the other day that had scribbled on it how you only realize how lonely the night is when you're the only one up, can't fall asleep, constantly thinking and then comes the moment when you stop thinking and you're just silent... and the dawning realization sets in.

So the thoughts have stopped. Now it's just me, the crickets and the occasional passing vehicle on the main road. Stupes.

I want to sleep. I want to be so tired that my eyes are closing down on me and the second my head hits the sheets I'm out... So I can get up early in the morning and get my business sorted.

I spent the whole of today letting things happen to me and being bothered by it. Two cheers for a pity party. Now that that's over, and a day has been wasted on "going with that feeling" and "appreciating that anger/annoyance" (lol) I dedicate today, Friday, July 24th as the day that magic happens.

I really need to start getting my business in order. Tomorrow I shall do up the rest of goals to cover the rest of the year. My 6 month goals have been covered more or less I believe.

Got my GPA up. Moved out and *gasp* survived on my own. Decided on my majors (twice). Re-applied, transferred out and got accepted to another university. Sounds like progress, feels like progress... just isn't happening as quickly as I would envision it to...

But then again, I'm known for many things, but patience isn't one of them.

My new game plan for the rest of the year involves the potential of getting a job, because this full-time student with parental cash flow isn't working too righteous. It also covers trying to get my GPA up even higher because I think it's just laziness that's keeping it down now... And learning some patience.


OOoOo so there's nothing more petrifying like moving back home. Ooo the joys of uncertainty and the fear of the unknown intermingled with everything you ran away from. Yay. Well, everyone has to face down their demons some time? I say, it's better to deal with it now... than deal with it later. And fear is no reason to run in the opposite direction.

And lack of understanding from others isn't a reason either. So long as I get it, I figure that's what matters for now. Everyone else can catch up with me eventually.

On an aside, my skin feels strangely tender. And as usual, googling symptoms is always the perfect way to freak yourself out. Anyways, it's not the first time.. and the doctors says it's nothing.. Infact one online told someone with similar symptoms that it's stress/anxiety related and not due to any dire internal problem. I'll just... see what happens.

Now,
For the coup de gras.......

There is none.
But I shall make another, what feels like a futile effort, to fall back asleep.
DeUcEs...
Shelli out