I feel like... the world mine. Just bow down. the world mine.

By 8:15 PM , , , , , , ,

Beware, long post ahead.

I'm so tired. My days are long, my nights are exhausting. I feel like I almost have no social life anymore. All I do is sleep, go to school, study, paint. I recently re-joined Facebook again, but I don't even have time to play with the new look too much, much less be perturbed about all the annoying game requests FB friends insist on sending.

Here comes another paper cut,
...But in the end, the devil always gets what he deserves

In light of an inspired postmortem of decisions I've made throughout recent years, situations I ended up in & stories I've heard from others of their experiences...

I've been thinking... Granted a hell does exist, I'm inclined to think there's a special place reserved for those who intentionally take advantage of the innocent and a special place reserved for chronic liars. It baffles me that some people have made it so far on the basis of sheer successful trickery and manipulation. The success rate is almost tempting to switch gears morally just to survive in these current economic times.

I had a recent encounter with an odd-end job that seemed valid enough. However, if I had taken just a few more minutes to do a proper background check rather than go on the basis of assumed trust because I met the person through someone dear to me, things would've played out differently. Fortunately, it wasn't too grand of an investment beyond time. The irony is, that in the end of it all, almost everyone that I know seems to have a story or know of a story of someone with a similar encounter. Stories, annoyingly enough late, are coming through the cracks like ants. Amazing huh? I can be Panglossian about it and say the story had to happen the way it did because it placed the spotlight in a few seemingly innocent places.

...but I'm a bit perturbed by the whole event because my time has, as of recent with all that's on my plate, become very expensive... and well, frankly, no one likes realizing they were deceived. It makes you question yourself and your judge of character. True it could happen to anyone... but right now, I don't feel that way.

Life lesson? Beware of strangers. Background checks are very important in business. Also, get it in writing.

I mean, the reality I guess is that's life. Additionally, I've found myself in situations I had hoped to never have to re-encounter again recently. However, all it has done is made me more suspect of people. More aware of the flaws of being human, because the truth is, people can be easily manipulated regardless, granted they are given the right bribes. Hell, there are books written on this. Recently, a dear friend of mine encouraged me to read two books - "The 48 laws of Power" and "Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene. It was incredibly disturbing. What's interesting is that we all use manipulation in small ways to get what we want in life. However, what was disturbing was the systematic yet plausible layout of book with a clear rationale. In one of them, I can't remember which one... one of the online reviews had someone who practiced the mindset of the book to test it, to get someone to prove they could do it, and well... didn't know how to live normal afterwards because their whole existence was fabricated to suit their intentions... The art of manipulation requires you to constantly maintain and create masks to present to the world.

Point form excerpt below...

Law 1 Never Outshine the Master 
Always make those above you feel comfortably superior.  In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity.  Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.
Law 2 Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies 
Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy.  They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove.  In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies.  If you have no enemies, find a way to make them. 
 Law 3 Conceal your Intentions
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions.  If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense.  Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.
Law 12 Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim 
One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones.  Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people.  Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will.  A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose. 
Law 27 Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following
People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something.  Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow.  Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking.  Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf.  In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.

The book itself is more detailed. It speaks a subconscious truth, an conscious curse. The two books together can do two things, inspire you to learn the art of manipulation or make you more wary of peoples actions. I'm way too lazy to actively, deliberately employ these tactics... I can't even keep a study routine beyond 2 days much less set about reprogramming my entire mind to entrap one person. Furthermore, I'm one of those rainbow, tree-hugger, optimistic, potentially naive 'still believe there's good in the world' people that follow that 'never compromise your integrity for fortune, fame or power' and the religious good actions will be repaid eventually. It may take a while to reap the benefits compared to quick schemes, but in my mind, it makes more practical sense. Plus, it requires less effort.

I mean, I've been in situations in college where students cheated throughout on their in-class essay exams, got straight As. Whereas I had to work had to bring my C up to an A grade, and maintain it. I could've cheated but how would that benefit me? I would've graduated not having truly learned anything and had a grade that did not necessarily represent knowledge attained. Then when CAPE came around, those same people struggled to scrape a B, if so much, and I got the grade I worked for, and had been working for. See? Now I can write near-perfect essays in University. Small scale example of temporary benefits with a long term effort.


It brings me back to a theory on karma that Sher and I have been musing on... That is, everything that goes around, comes around. Therefore you should mind what you do. However, if you do bad, expect bad to happen back. But if you do bad to innocent, good people, expect the repercussions to be much, much higher than I don't know... stealing lunch from a serial killer? With that said, no one walks through life without committing a few sins and stepping on a few toes, but know that no deed - good or bad - goes unpaid. Also, those who need the satisfaction of witnessing, generally do. So try to make sure the show you're setting up the stage for is a relatively good one.

As we would say here in Grenada, 'I ain't go hype no scene...' But everything comes full circle. If you've convinced yourself you've gotten away with a crime - trust me, you haven't.

"Moonlight run 'til daylight ketch 'im."


Moving along... in my last post I mentioned an art portfolio that I'm developing. I'm working on a tentative series that hopefully should be in stores near you before the year is up. My plan was to have at least 10 pieces done over the last couple weeks. The result? I got 10 pieces priced collectively, factoring in pieces I've done already. New deadline re-established.

Some of the mounting board I collected already

I've successfully gotten some people to sponsor mounting board sheets. A big thank you to all those who have donated or plan to donate. *Sends showers of hugs and kisses*Those interested in getting me a sheet, I'm offering a tentative future small complimentary piece done upon request granted I have the time and materials. My friends already know I'm pretty generous with my artwork anyways, so worry not.

A sneak preview of some of my pieces thus far...

State of affair of my room.
I recently started back working with pastels & charcoals.

Heliconia (2010)
Soft Pastels

Trinidad Bouganvellia (or so I was told it was called) (2006)

Girl who is too sad to give a... (2011)

Carenage (2011)
Oil & Soft Pastels


That's all  I'm willing to share currently.

When I've mounted everything, I'll post the finish.


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