I'm painting a card. I'm catching my backside to paint it... I haven't painted in ages.... What normally takes me half an hour is going into well over an hour now... But I'm trying a different style.. But still...
Grrrrrrr...
back to painting.
>.<
I live for the night's I can't remember,
with the people I won't forget.
- "Show me a good time" Drake
It's Wednesday. You know what that means? Friday is two nights away.
***
Now a Facebook friend of mine runs a website called "Ghetto Police" and "No Way Girl". Today he's just on a.... I can't think of a word to describe it but he's updating his statuses almost every 5 minutes. However, despite the frequency of his name in my newsfeed and the crudeness of what he has to say - it makes sense. Another friend of mine, Jamal, made me add him as a friend because he felt it would be an educational experience for me. (lol) And that I'd learn a lot about relationships and stuff. Bleh, I think he just says things I already know but forget. But nuntheless, it comes up so random that it's entertaining if nothing else.
So like I've been complaining to my friend about some of the stuff Nick posts recently because it seems like he's become more raw in his approach... But for the most part, I think he makes some sense. I don't agree with the harshness - but as my dad always says, sometimes you need to deliver a little shock treatment to get a proper reaction.
He is right when he says that "positive advice" isn't really working. His main peeves revolve around the direction society is going in. He speaks constantly about the gully and gaza kings and queens. Mind you, I myself was in such a situation recently lamenting over that.
I had bounced into a young girl about 18-19 years old and on her Facebook profile she has, like many other females, an album called "Gaza Queen" in which she posts pictures of herself. I remember it fondly because I complained to everyone willing to listen to me, boyfriend included. I mean, how could any self-respecting female refer to themselves seriously not as a joke but seriously as a Gully or Gaza princess/queen? *perks eyebrow* Currently, the new epidemic is everyone is a Barbie, following the whole Nicki Minaj trend.
I'm in Grenada, I have many of my ex-students and their friends on one of my Facebook profiles and you can bet that somewhere in the midst of their names are "Barbie" or "Diva." Is that what we all want to be when we grow up? Party to materialistic American pop culture?
As for the men, I really don't get the whole "I'm a gangsta" thing. Every time I get a friend request, I check through profile pictures. Should I encounter an album entitled gaza or gully, photos of guns, you throwing up gang signs, your chances of being added get halved. None of this is "cool."
Just the other day I was having a similar discussion with my mom. We were talking about men and women today and how they behave. I was telling her that I think the problem greatly weighs upon the female because the men are only doing what works to get the girl. A lot of young women have created a situation whereby men don't have to really be respectable with their approach, they don't have to value the relationship, they don't really have to do anything.... Because not enough females seem to respect themselves enough to say - Hell to the NO! Reel and come again..!
Following are Nick's direct statuses with minor censorship. Check his websites out. He knocks females a lot, but as he said in one of his statuses, he's a guy so his focus is primarily on women. It's up to the women to set the record straight with expectations from men.
Word.
Mind you, as I said before, he speaks pretty raw. His threads run pretty long so I only screen shot the first couple posts. One of them went up to 38 posts in commentary. But really, he makes sense. The sad part is, he's writing from a Bahamian perspective but what he says I think is pretty much true for the whole Caribbean region. Everyone thinks it's cool to be gangsta and ghetto... And those who don't think it's cool to be gangsta think its cool to be a barbie or a diva or caught up in some other brand name culture be it Gucci or Dior...whatever. No one is aspiring to be the next Bill Gates or create some positive musical revolution or launch some brilliant idea that would actually help society. Nope. Aspiring gaza and gullys.
What do you think?
Holiday weekends make me apprehensive.
I love to make plans and write lists. I like to have a general idea of what I intend to do with my time and get frustrated if there's too much nothingness happening. Mind you, I still love my lazy days where I just laze around too...
However, there's something special about holiday weekends. Sometimes you get an extra day, be it Friday or Monday, or both, sometimes it merely falls on the weekend itself. But then you have a host of activities to choose from, or attempt to avoid... and figure out plans and stuff.
I'm trying to cut back on this compulsion I have to plan especially around these times. Minimizes all potential disappoints if you try not to build expectations.
I wanted to do something so badly Friday but I ended up in a Conservation of Wildlife Club meeting at school that finished around 6-ish. Sure that's early, but waiting an hour plus idly can be more exhaustive than actually doing something sometimes. By the time I got home, I was too tired to do anything but go in my bed.
Yesterday I went to a tea party. My third one for the year I believe. As usual, there were a bunch of activities such as little games with prize rewards and modeling. I was one of the models this time. After the tea party there were several parties going on around the island. Lack of transport...*sigh* I passed by Karma and it was so dead I refused to go inside. Instead I found myself waiting for another 5 hours on the Carenage for my mom to finish with her party...lol Life's little ironies. She went to an 80s party in Aquarium. Usually, she'd be harassing my phone line to go home.
The weekend up to that point was just an epic fail. I mean I did end up chatting with a friend while I waited and that was awesome... But I had wanted so badly to do something.
This morning I went to the Dove Sanctuary near Perseverance to observe a dove nest.
I didn't sleep when I got home from Karma, yet I managed to still arrive late to meet Dr. Rusk. However, we did get there early and it was still quite an experience.
We had a mini-hike to the location of the nest. Upon reaching, we sat down and set up the equipment, or rather I watched Dr. set up the equipment. I had a pair of binoculars so I could see the bird up close. It was a pretty cool experience. There is always a bird on the nest. Initially, based on the consensus that only the male bird calls, the female was on the eggs. Then flew off and the male bird took up the position on the nest. With the aid of the binoculars, you could see the chest puff right before it coos. I think we heard about 5 males coo-ing.
I got some photos. They're not absolutely clear though because I had twigs and branches in my line of vision and despite the excellent zoom on my camera, it kept auto-focusing to the nearby branches in front of the dove.
The following photos are a combination of long overdue photos from the Mt. Hartman field trip and this last trip.
Mt. Hartman photos
The most interesting thing we got to see at the Mt. Hartman trip. It was breeding season so we weren't allowed to venture too far in. The doves are shy, and instinctively flee by flying to the ground and running upon seeing any threats.
That's the nest. I think that was the male bird at this point. I don't know how big that bird actually was... but I think they get as big as 12 inches.
Dr. Rusk took these pics out.
So YAY, I saw the Grenada Dove.
There concludes my overdue post.
Deuces.
I love to make plans and write lists. I like to have a general idea of what I intend to do with my time and get frustrated if there's too much nothingness happening. Mind you, I still love my lazy days where I just laze around too...
However, there's something special about holiday weekends. Sometimes you get an extra day, be it Friday or Monday, or both, sometimes it merely falls on the weekend itself. But then you have a host of activities to choose from, or attempt to avoid... and figure out plans and stuff.
I'm trying to cut back on this compulsion I have to plan especially around these times. Minimizes all potential disappoints if you try not to build expectations.
I wanted to do something so badly Friday but I ended up in a Conservation of Wildlife Club meeting at school that finished around 6-ish. Sure that's early, but waiting an hour plus idly can be more exhaustive than actually doing something sometimes. By the time I got home, I was too tired to do anything but go in my bed.
Yesterday I went to a tea party. My third one for the year I believe. As usual, there were a bunch of activities such as little games with prize rewards and modeling. I was one of the models this time. After the tea party there were several parties going on around the island. Lack of transport...*sigh* I passed by Karma and it was so dead I refused to go inside. Instead I found myself waiting for another 5 hours on the Carenage for my mom to finish with her party...lol Life's little ironies. She went to an 80s party in Aquarium. Usually, she'd be harassing my phone line to go home.
The weekend up to that point was just an epic fail. I mean I did end up chatting with a friend while I waited and that was awesome... But I had wanted so badly to do something.
This morning I went to the Dove Sanctuary near Perseverance to observe a dove nest.
I didn't sleep when I got home from Karma, yet I managed to still arrive late to meet Dr. Rusk. However, we did get there early and it was still quite an experience.
We had a mini-hike to the location of the nest. Upon reaching, we sat down and set up the equipment, or rather I watched Dr. set up the equipment. I had a pair of binoculars so I could see the bird up close. It was a pretty cool experience. There is always a bird on the nest. Initially, based on the consensus that only the male bird calls, the female was on the eggs. Then flew off and the male bird took up the position on the nest. With the aid of the binoculars, you could see the chest puff right before it coos. I think we heard about 5 males coo-ing.
I got some photos. They're not absolutely clear though because I had twigs and branches in my line of vision and despite the excellent zoom on my camera, it kept auto-focusing to the nearby branches in front of the dove.
The following photos are a combination of long overdue photos from the Mt. Hartman field trip and this last trip.
Mt. Hartman photos
Mushrooms?
This is what the dry forest habitat looks like during the rainy season.
The most interesting thing we got to see at the Mt. Hartman trip. It was breeding season so we weren't allowed to venture too far in. The doves are shy, and instinctively flee by flying to the ground and running upon seeing any threats.
The road leading to the Visitor Center.
The Grenada Hawk-Billed Kite feeds on snails. They crack the shells, eat the snail and drop the shell on the ground....So we didn't have experts with us to confirm, but there were lots of shells all over.
Classmates walking out.
Dove Reserve near Perseverance
First attempt to get a shot. Stupes. Out of focus.
That's the nest. I think that was the male bird at this point. I don't know how big that bird actually was... but I think they get as big as 12 inches.
Dr. Rusk took these pics out.
So YAY, I saw the Grenada Dove.
There concludes my overdue post.
Deuces.
Stole these from a friend..
I had an awesome post to write since Saturday but I keep getting sidetracked. I visited the Dove Sanctuary... I'll make the real post later on today.
***
***
Tonight I reconnected with an old friend. It's rather interesting how it happened. I have her saved as a yahoo contact on my msn. Now, yahoo contacts don't have a screen name - only an email address. After seeing this name popping up constantly and not knowing/remembering who it was - I messaged the person and found out it was Ames!! :D
Who is Ames? Ames is one of the first friends I made in college. She was a year ahead of me. I felt like a kid to her and she was a mentor of sorts, helping me through with my early days assignments - especially History. I don't know how I would've survived those 2 years of History class without her. Ok, I would've survived but her advice, notes and all sorts of helpful stuff really made a difference. She was also such a sweetheart and like a darling big sister to me. And what I remembered most about her was her absolute certainty about herself. She loved rock music. She loved being a tomboy. She knew what she believed in. And nothing was going to change that... and I was pretty much similar in college.
*sigh* oh Ames... The irony is that I've always remembered her. I've always wanted to call and something would pop up and I'd forget. I was planning to surprise call her for her birthday this summer, and I don't even remember what happened to run intervention. I had her number on two cellphones from way back in 2004 in college. I lost one cellphone in NY last summer. I got a new cellphone with Digicel when I came back (and refused to join LIME) so my bf has my old LIME phone and got a Digicel one so I could call him. Over the summer, I went through the old phone looking for her number specifically with the intention of actually dialing...
“I am not the happiest person. In fact, in the battle between joy
and misery, I’d say that the latter often seems to prevail. I don’t
like this, and every day I refuse, for the eighty millionth time, to
put up with another minute of it. But the world does what it does,
and I often find it disagreeable. After all these years, I’m kind of
resigned to that. But I do have one thing on my side: I have
enormous faith. And hope. I am not speaking of the kind you
find in church or in the afterlife or in heaven or in the Saint James
Bible or in the Hare Krishna’s that we all encounter changing flights
in the airports of the world, I am speaking of a simple faith that
says that one way or another, no matter how many times I stumble
and stub my big toe, somehow life is going to work itself out.”
- Elizabeth Wurtzel
Oh well... nothing happens before it's time and everything happens for a reason. Sometimes people enter chapters of your life and leave. Sometimes they stay. And sometimes they re-enter at a later time.
And I'm a firm believer of believing that I'm exactly where I should be in the exact moments I need to be in it, regardless of the circumstances. You never know the purpose of things happening the way it does, until time progresses and reveals all the answers.
Anyways, it was a very intense moment. It was difficult to decide where to start from to fill in the missing moments over the years. Turns out she thought I forgot about her... :(
"The best things said come last.
People will talk for hours saying
nothing much and then linger at the
door with words that come with
a rush from the heart." - Alan Alda
Which leads me to the picture I selected for this post. I stole it off another website but yeah... So we got on the topic of boyfriends and she was telling me about her experiences over the years and vice versa. She was asking me why I'm with him, what makes him a sweetheart, if he makes me happy... Don't mind the questioning - that's just how she is - she doesn't mean it how it sounds, it just falls out in sincere curiosity.
At first, as usual, whenever I'm asked these sort of questions, I can think of everything and nothing at the same time. Why do you love someone? What makes them special over the rest? What makes you willing to tolerate them flaws and all? Generally, I hate such direct questions which force me to have to be this open... Also, in some ways it's like your response feels like it carries an extra unnecessary weight of "proof." Your selection of words, the sequence of phrases, everything seems to become important in the validation of proving your answer. Who likes to be placed on the stand for testimony outside of the courtroom?
It was weird. I got her off the topic of her line of questions and then next thing I know, I was telling the story of how we (my bf and I) met, the little things he did in the beginning that made me fall, how he makes me feel like a better person and to be a better person... the really small little quirks that make me smile... and then I couldn't stop talking. (Ok, that's an exaggeration... I didn't go overboard... I didn't even get to the mischievous grin and the twinkle in his eyes when he comes with some idea) I don't know if I "proved" anything, however, just telling the stories made me laugh and smile... But yea, it's hard to summarize into a few words on cue why I pick him... But he does make me very happy, and even if we're fighting and he's annoying the life out of me - I can't really fathom him not being in my life. He makes me feel safe. Yes, I know nothing in life is set in stone. Lots of things could happen... but right now that's how I feel... and been feeling this way a while now. Let me stop before I end up in a mushy sentimental moment and divulge too much information.
I conclude that describing love is like describing who you are. Ultimately you end up describing what you're comprised of but you can never put into plain spoken words of exactly who you are. It simply comes down to I am who I am. You are who you are. It is what it is. And that's the truth.
It was weird. I got her off the topic of her line of questions and then next thing I know, I was telling the story of how we (my bf and I) met, the little things he did in the beginning that made me fall, how he makes me feel like a better person and to be a better person... the really small little quirks that make me smile... and then I couldn't stop talking. (Ok, that's an exaggeration... I didn't go overboard... I didn't even get to the mischievous grin and the twinkle in his eyes when he comes with some idea) I don't know if I "proved" anything, however, just telling the stories made me laugh and smile... But yea, it's hard to summarize into a few words on cue why I pick him... But he does make me very happy, and even if we're fighting and he's annoying the life out of me - I can't really fathom him not being in my life. He makes me feel safe. Yes, I know nothing in life is set in stone. Lots of things could happen... but right now that's how I feel... and been feeling this way a while now. Let me stop before I end up in a mushy sentimental moment and divulge too much information.
I conclude that describing love is like describing who you are. Ultimately you end up describing what you're comprised of but you can never put into plain spoken words of exactly who you are. It simply comes down to I am who I am. You are who you are. It is what it is. And that's the truth.
And yea, for some weird reason, beyond my comprehension, the whole world, or at least a big chunk of it, reminds me of him.
Ça suffit. À bientôt. Shelli out.
"When I looked at you, my life made sense. Even the bad things made sense.
They were necessary to make you possible." - Jonathan Safran Foer
Ça suffit. À bientôt. Shelli out.
I’m so out of touch these days.
I act out in the wrong ways.
My mouth moves faster than my brain.
I act out in the wrong ways.
My mouth moves faster than my brain.
I’ve done you wrong I’ve made mistakes.
You’ve seen the darkest side of me.
But please don’t think of me that way.
You’ve seen the darkest side of me.
But please don’t think of me that way.
Would it be too much to ask.
To remember the girl who made you laugh.
To remember the girl who made you laugh.
Stay, stay, stay, stay.
UFOs in New York? Does anyone remember the UFOs hovering over China recently? Like a month or so back... And Germany? What's up with all of these sightings? Hmm...
http://www.ufoevidence.org/topics/hudsonvalley.htm
I changed my template again. I figured out how to widen my page span so that my photos and videos fit right within the designated blog post area. However, I got fed up of the old background so I changed it... It might change again. Below are the before and after screen shots...
before...
after...
I might switch back. I wanted a little colour but nothing too overwhelming... But side by side, this one looks like it lacks life doesn't it?
I iced the choc/coffee first and then put the other layer on top... and iced the whole thing.
before...
after...
I might switch back. I wanted a little colour but nothing too overwhelming... But side by side, this one looks like it lacks life doesn't it?
***
So I baked a cake. It came out lovely - perfect texture and everything. There was a minor snafu because mom didn't put it in properly and the strawberry layer baked on a slant and some spilled over... But it still came out nice regardless.
It's a double layered cake. The top layer is strawberry with crushed cherries. The bottom layer is chocolate and coffee. Ideally, I would've loved to do a cream cheese icing but I didn't have cream cheese... So instead, I substituted with lemon icing.
Here's my recipe:
1 cup margarine
1 3/4 cup white sugar
3 eggs
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/2 cup milk
2 1/2 cup all purpose flour
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
3-4 heaped tbs. unsweetened cocoa
3-4 tbs instant coffee
6 heaped tbs. strawberry milk powder ( I used Nesquik)
3 crushed confection cherries
2 mixing bowls.
You'd need a huge bowl.
First you incorporate the butter and the sugar together. Add the eggs in one by one, beating the cake mix after each egg has been added. Then add the vanilla extract. Add the salt. The next step, add a little milk, mix. Then add a little flour, mix. And keep this up until all the milk and flour has been added. This step was a little daunting for me because the milk made me a little paranoid after it became so watery. However, the flour reduces the watery appearance. If you think you've added too much milk and it's too watery - I assume adding a little more flour might be the quick fix. Otherwise, the texture would come out somewhat pudding-ish. (Speaking from a disastrous experience *sigh*)
**If you want to make a chocolate cake solely use the cocoa alone for the entire mixture. You might need more cocoa to make it extra chocolately. However, 6 heaped tbs. is ok.
At this point, you're basically done. Separate the mixture into two bowls (or just pour half into another bowl). In one bowl, add the chocolate and coffee. In the other, add the strawberry powder and the crushed cherries.
I encourage you to taste both mixtures to make sure it tastes sufficiently strawberry-like and choc/coffee-like for your tastes. The first time I made a coffee cake, I put in a little coffee and tasted it mildly and thought it sufficed. Lo and behold, when the cake was done what was once mild was not even a taste but just a coloured presence on my cake. Stupes.
I iced the choc/coffee first and then put the other layer on top... and iced the whole thing.
Here's my finished product. It looks a bit messy because I didn't flour my pans properly and then there were the minor glitches... And I didn't have enough icing to mesh the two properly. It's covered in plastic wrap.
Again... don't mind how it look so... it tastes very good. :D
Now I must quickly get ready for class...
Ciao.
Shelli out.
I went to the beach again. This time.... I came back with pictures.
We went snorkeling and kayaking. I saw a turtle. It was awesome. I'm tired. I'll just post up my pics from the beach.
~~~
We went snorkeling and kayaking. I saw a turtle. It was awesome. I'm tired. I'll just post up my pics from the beach.
Isn't Grand Anse gorgeous??
I thought the water was the perfect shade of blue today... and it was soooo clear compared to when we went on Saturday. Then again, we had questionable weather Saturday with a bit of rain so I guess that's understood. I don't have an underwater camera so no photos of the turtle.
And yes, all of those conch were found on the reef where we were today.
***
Shelli out.
Deuce.
Wait for it.
~~~
***warning***
Long post ahead
Who saw "The Bucket List"?
Yes I'm well aware most of you have probably already seen it. I tend to be on the late band wagon when it comes to movies... Recently I posted "Say" by John Mayer on my Facebook (You should totally check it out, that and "hotblack" by Oceanside...epic songs) and a friend posted that he loves the song but loved the movie more. Naturally, being the inquisitive person that I am I asked which movie he was referring to... and he said the song was done for the movie "The Bucket List."
I recommend watching it. I think it was very inspiring. It's about those two guys, who are both terminally ill from cancer. Upon the doctor informing them they only have 6 months to a year to live, they decide to make a "[kick the] bucket list" and then set about doing it...
Inspiring in the sense that it made the cliché "live like it's your last day" come to life. The only difference between those two guys and us is that they have a time frame within which they know their lives remain, we don't. But, what if we did? What would you do then? With each crazy idea from skydiving to car racing there was one catchphrase they kept saying, "we're going to die anyways!!"
And how very true. We are going to die anyways - whether we know the exact date of our departure.
What did this mean for me? I have a tag on this blog called my "Before I die list" but I never put anything officially in a list form. I think I shall start doing so -- counting in the things I would like to do and have accomplished already.
I have a friend/ex-classmate on Facebook, and every time I go on her page I get bittersweet feelings. Honestly, I don't know how she's finding the money to fund these things but it's certainly not stopping her from living her life. When I was 16, I used to declare I wanted to do some of the very things she's doing right now. She has photos sand surfing, sky diving, backpacking like a hippie with the hippie van, camping out on a beach outside of the city, bungee jumping, etc. Right now she appears to be backbacking across Asia starting from Singapore and now in Thailand.
In the early days of my Facebook account, I posted a note asking people to answer a few questions about myself and my darling friend Russel posted something about me finally doing my Eurotrip. I read the comments day before yesterday - I clean forgot all about that note and that Eurotrip.
In my family, I can't say if one side over the over, we seem to suffer from wanderlust. My dad has traveled whimsically all over Guyana and lived in Suriname. My mom had quite an adventurous spirit as well... Hell, picking yourself up and moving to a completely different country the way my parents did takes a certain level of an adventurous spirit - because it's not to say we left because of a struggle in Guyana. My dad came to Grenada on one of his many visits and wanted to move here someday.
My cousins are similar. I remember one in particularly, Uncle Eddy's son who grew up in Massachusetts. He did a travel abroad course with his degree in Spain or Italy, fell in love with the culture and country. I believe he even switched majors. Now he's a teacher in Florida and he is thinking to switch again. He's living pretty comfortably too.* So it's not reckless living.
Honestly, I don't worry. The times you have heard me ever complaining, my friends, are just moments when I feel like babbling unnecessarily and venting but I don't really worry. I've actually been accused of being too carefree. What does this mean?
To me... it means I'm happy. I know I'm going to be successful someday - I'm definitely not worried about that. I have big dreams and I intend to fulfill each and every one. Live full, die empty right? But to what good place has worrying ever brought anyone?
I'm not going to launch into one of my lengthy "When I was in NY this happened..." stories, I'll save it for another time. But in a nutshell, lots of things have happened to me that had I worried and jumped into a panicked frenzy, I would not have seen the ease of available solutions.
Now, just like my family I love traveling, experiencing new things, pushing myself to new limits. And, I endeavor to bring my kids up the same way. I want them, shall I have kids, to be curious about the world, want to understand different cultures, see different things, and open their minds. I think my life experiences thus far, aside from the few awesome thought provoking professors I've had, have molded me into the person I am today... well in the regards to my sense of curiosity and open mindedness.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
8. Learn meditation. (still working on it... I have tried the yoga thing)
9.
10. (Complete) A novel. Nanowrimo is coming up... maybe after I drop Stats I'll have more time to actually start and finish my novel this time.
11.
12. Learn a foreign language to the point of fluency.
13.
14. Go sky diving.
15. Learn to in-line skate.
16. Learn a sport properly to the point of complete understanding. I'm pondering basketball.
17. Learn to drive.
18. Go rock climbing.
19.
20. Get over my fear of the ocean.
20. Learn to scuba dive.
22.
23. Publish a book.
24. Help a complete stranger anonymously.
25.
26. Make an entire full course gourmet meal down to optional desserts.
27. Learn to sew, crochet and embroider.
28. Dye half my hair an exotic colour.
29. Cut off my hair and donate it. (This one might be removed... I've tried to cut my hair for years and failed)
30. Go on a road trip.
31. Go hiking,
32. Go camping.
That's it for now... I shall add and remove accordingly... What about you?
(11/17/2010 update P.S. I took out some stuff so it could look more list like)
