Don't play with it

On the brink of losing everything
I close my eyes to ease my despair
but i already witnessed the spirals in the air
uncontrollable and terrifying
helpless and debilitating.
Wordless,
I am
for I can't make a sound.
Any sound I fear would make it worse.
The right words...
I know not what they are.
I would reach out
it's just wind
but this wind is fast moving and scorches with a betrayal
ignited from mere perception
Faultless,
for the assumption is fair...
But that doesn't calm the inner turmoil
from the bitter taste of misunderstanding
and it's inability of resolve itself
without making it worse.
The closest I've ever been
I withdraw
feel the tension within
and just look on
as the tears begin to well
as my body begins to tremble
and feel my inner cynic whisper
'it doesn't matter what you do
or what you say
it's the same as it's always been
inevitably beyond what you can handle
inevitably beyond what you can reach
forever elusive
like a tease'