Don't play with it

***

It's finally ending. Thank God. School's finally almost done. I'm tired. It's been an exhausting year. Took me all this time to realize I'm a paradox, feeling nothing and everything at the same time. Learning to deal... whatever. I have a headache. I will have to finish this up later.. I.. I.. I..

Too many 'I's

I'm going to paint.

C'est tout.
Au revoir.
Shelli

I concede....... I am not as invincible as I previously thought I was... I guess in all fairness I kind of looked for it too... After months of telling people how I survived my first winter pretty well and never got sick once, etc etc.... I walked in the rain with Enda to prove a "the rain doesn't make you sick but if there are pollutants in it..." point and... now I have the cold. humph..

The good news is, it's leaving. The bad news is I still feel slightly delirious. The worse news is, I have piles of school work to do.

*sigh* I think I'm getting a fever because my skin hurts...

***

On the bright side yesterday was Spring Fling or Bling or whatever they call it... I was still sick, it started to rain, the line for the free food was wayyyyy long... BUT I must say that the DJ was decent... and I wanted to do the Boulder Dash thingy in the bouncy castle and rock climb... but yea. Stupid rain and cold. Hmph.

And tonight the Caribbean Students Association is hosting a party 'Temptations' (I think) and Beenie Man is supposed to be performing... and Dia and I are going. Hopefully it would be good, I don't know what kind of party starts at 5 and finishes at 11...? It's broad daylight until like 8..? How could it start so early..??

Anyways, sick people shouldn't be on the comp. for long periods... especially when they can't think up a proper eventful coherent post to type... sooo..

Shelli out.
Ciaoz

On the brink of losing everything
I close my eyes to ease my despair
but i already witnessed the spirals in the air
uncontrollable and terrifying
helpless and debilitating.
Wordless,
I am
for I can't make a sound.
Any sound I fear would make it worse.
The right words...
I know not what they are.
I would reach out
it's just wind
but this wind is fast moving and scorches with a betrayal
ignited from mere perception
Faultless,
for the assumption is fair...
But that doesn't calm the inner turmoil
from the bitter taste of misunderstanding
and it's inability of resolve itself
without making it worse.
The closest I've ever been
I withdraw
feel the tension within
and just look on
as the tears begin to well
as my body begins to tremble
and feel my inner cynic whisper
'it doesn't matter what you do
or what you say
it's the same as it's always been
inevitably beyond what you can handle
inevitably beyond what you can reach
forever elusive
like a tease'