Daydreamer.... living in a nightmare
Today was the first time I walked around town during the day in a very long time. I stepped into the Esplanade Mall and had a 'wtf?' moment... well I had several moments like that...
I mean, I know Ritual's had closed down and merged with Mario's or something like that.... But you can imagine my surprise to walk in and see this humongous shoe/clothing store. Subways now has an inside door to get in from inside the mall as opposed to being open out as it was before. Then I saw a few stores I don't really remember seeing before -- expanded to several room spaces. Tourists stores and such. Wow. And then... I realized my friend's mum store was gone... so no more random visits to pester him. Then the bookstore next door was gone too... hmm... It was truly a weird experience. I felt like a tourist.
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So I'm on the hunt for the perfect noose of responsibility to fit around my neck, also known as 'The Student Loan'. You know, checking for good rates, etc. I don't think anyone understands how reluctant I am about this.... But you gotta do what you gotta do right? It's not like it's a novel idea, and other people have pulled it off. There's no reason this should be a torturous experience that continues long after school has finished. Especially by the looks of it, I'm pushing to get a job... so at least I should be able to cover the interest on my own. Now... for Plan B - prayers that I get the full scholarship....
Three cheers for independence...!
Oooh... currently I'm working part-time at this villa/resort called 'Grooms Beach Villas & Resort.' Now prior to my mom sourcing the job for me, I never really knew the place existed. The first day, I went on a tour and I was in awe. The villas are gorgeous. The prices are pretty decent too... And naturally, I love the pool - it's nothing extravagant, but I just like pools. Click here to go to their website which has pics...I also joked with my boss the first day telling her that this must be Grenada's best kept secret..........only to reach front desk and see that's their tagline on the brochure...!
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I've been thinking recently... like all of my past experiences and such. And I'm realizing there's a special level of dunceness when it comes to men. I'm not going to say all guys are the same, because like all girls, I'd like believe my man is different and special and if anyone should ask - that's what I would say. "It's true for every other guy - but mine, because he's special, and different, and would never intentionally hurt me like that..etc etc" But it's not to say I wasn't wrong before with previous guys.
And it's not particularly hard to catch them in their lies too...Regardless of how slick they convince themselves they are. All it truly requires is for the girl to not be totally and utterly in love with the guy beyond the point of stupidity and not willing to place total implicit trust in him - which is difficult.... because I'd like to think when girls love they love deep, well at least good sincere girls. Once a girl trusts you... then she's willing to believe anything you say, because it sounds much better than the truth.
I caught a guy by virtue of darling Facebook once. It's amazing the things that can be revealed just by pure observation. It took a long time for me to see what everyone else saw too, and even after I saw with my own eyes, I still found myself wanting to believe him but knowing at that point it was just absurd. And finally having to accept that he never really cared about me, the way he should. My friend caught one of her ex-es by virtue of Hi5, when hi5 was still reigning.
I have lots of guy friends that cheat, and what they bank on is the mere fact of how loyal their girl is. Once that confidence has been established, more so the attachment of the girl not wanting to lose the guy very easily, it's like their playboy ticket becomes released. The elaborate tales I hear make me laugh sometimes, and make me gasp sometimes... and the sad part is, I know I would fall for it. Any girl who loves their guy that much would fall for it - the lies, the scheming, etc. It's not the falling for it that's the problem though... it's the not being able to see the trick because of the tunnel vision blinkers. And the guys know that. If any of those girls were to just have a paranoid moment, and just set their boy up to see how they'd behave. I'm sure they'd be shocked and surprised at what they discover.
Then again, why jeopardize your own happiness? Ignorance is bliss. And not all guys are trifling, deceptive, good-for-nothing, immature, punk-@$$ liars. There are good guys out there that don't cheat. They are good guys out there that care about their girl and think the world of her. There are good, loyal boyfriends out there.... and then there's a few good ones that still young and stupid and would flirt *cough* innocently *cough* with other girls and mean no harm by it, as annoying as it is.
What I find most ironic, and hilarious about the situation though.... is the double standard. As a girlfriend, if you kiss another guy, flirt too much with another guy, etc (different guys have different limits.... but the standard bar is usually comparatively very low compared to the stuff the stunts they pull that is considered acceptable). Should a girl, do any of the things that her boy does that upsets her, ie. avoid admitting that you're in a relationship when talking to a new guy, flirting, dancing vulgar/seductively with another guy, kiss another guy, end up in a compromising situation, OR fail a set up test... like where they send in one of their boys that you don't know or something to see how you'd react.......they more than overdo it with their reaction time. Guys seem to behave like they have their finger on the break up pulse lest something arise. Whereby, girls tend to be more forgiving and (stupidly) softhearted.
This is just an opinion though... my test sample for observation has been a fraction of a fraction of a marginal part of the male population. But I'm yet to find evidence that says differently.
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What do you think? I'm sure every girl has a loser-ific ex-boyfriend experience... And I'm sure most guys have some experience, whether they got burned or not, with scheming with their past and/or current girlfriends.
Post your comments.
Shelli out.
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15 comments
I've been burned once... didn't do anything that time tho...i mean i was doing ting but when i stopped he said she said go on and i got burned
ReplyDelete"Bitches ain't shit" sums it up properly. You've given yourselves a bad rap with men. We're that way with you because we've learned at a early age you don't want or deserve good men...so we give you what you want. It's a vicious cycle. As for that double standard...If a key opens a bunch of locks...it's a master key...but if a lock can be opened by a bunch of keys...it's a shit lock. That 'double standard' is there for a reason. Because when a girl is 24, with a floppy twat and wondering why no one wants her after she let a rag-tag of assholes run through her...yeah come on...you can't be serious. At 24 MY dick will still be the same regardless of whether I had sex with 5 women or 500. It's as simple as that. At 24 her vagina will definitely have some wear and tear on it...regardless of how few men she's been with...it's all about minimizing damage. Vagina Responsibility. "Make room for desert"? I think not. -Jamal waits for the feminists- :)
ReplyDeletehmmm i heard about that new store opening up where rituals and Mario's used to be it's called Kiddies Korner right ??? i think it Rashmi's parents store. Anyhow i completely agree with you on the whole guy thing y is it as girls we believe them so completely and go around all giddy and foolish saying to ourselves he loves me he would never hurt me like that. Now dont get me wrong shells we both know i am guilty of that, but now i am a little wiser since that guy did hurt me like that not just once but twice. Yes all guys are different and special but they all got that Cheater/ liar /makes promises that they cant keep gene its just hardwired into them its not our fault we fall for their little sweet boy facades women always try to see the best in people.You got some good points though girlie. Am out
ReplyDeleteits one thing i always known that us guys do is cheat... we cheat for some of the stupidest reasons i had eva seen in my life...even I had fell victem to the cheating... but i was also young n dumb and didnt understand wha a real woman was... but dare is still some good well men in this world.. long as it aint the hype and its meaningful things work theyselves out simple as that
ReplyDeletetru..........very tru.........i think women r forgiving....when u place that dependece in someone...man or woman.............u kinda setting up yuh self for a fall
ReplyDeletebe mindful life change in so many ways so be thankful. U always grow mature but dont let dreams go and if a dream look like a nightmare then wake up
ReplyDeleteIt's true. I'm a guy and I will fully agree that a lot of men will cheat given the chance.
ReplyDeleteBut I wouldn't put it down to the fact that men are hardwired to be unfaithful- because in that case it wouldn't be an issue in the first place because we could brush it off by saying "I was only doing it because I had to". While men are likely to have more sexual partners it doesn't mean they have to be unfaithful to do it; they could just have a string of one night stands and not bother with the relationship thing, which I don't think is a particularly bad thing.
If a man keeps on cheating on a girl, a lot of the time it's based upon the level of value he places in the relationship and the woman. Now I'm not saying that men who cheat don't love their women (although it could be a sign!), but if a man doesn't think much of cheating on a woman, the odds are he doesn't give a damm about her feelings too much.
Young males in particular cheat all the time on their women because the relationship with their partner is going to be one of many; it won't last and they'll be much more women after that. So in his head he isn't thinking the relationship particularly matters. I mean everyone knows the dude in highschool who was horning his girl with a whole truckload of girls. He doesn't give a damn because it's not like he's getting married to her. Odds are they'll break up before term ends, so why limit himself so much? Now not all young guys do this thing (I, for one don't) but I guarantee you that the ones who don't value their relationships more than the other guys.
Some dudes do it for props, some do it for sexual gratification. Sometimes guys never get past it and do it throughout their lives.
Now just to play Devil's Advocate here; sometimes I think the woman can have a little bit of a part in making a guy cheat. A lot of women treat their men with a shit attitude. They nag, irritate and get girlfriends involved in the relationship. Now I'm not saying it's right to cheat, but when some of these girls come to me and complain about the way their man has been unfaithful, honestly I can see why he could go down that path.
On the flip-side, it could be down to how happy and free he feels in the relationship.
Now like I said, not all men do it. But sometimes it just depends on how much the man feels in the relationship or how happy he is in it. If he feels like he's been made into a husband in a boring relationship, he might well go and cheat. Of course it depends on the man himself as well; I'm in a pretty committed relationship and I've only just hit 20. But here's the thing; I'm happy with my girl, our relationship and everything else. So quite frankly cheating appears stupid to me. But for every other guy who isn't...Playing the field with a bit on the side seems pretty attractive to them.
I have been in multiple relationships, too much as a matter of fact, cheated and been cheated on, i got cheated on by the person that i never cheated on. Karma is a bitch, so i think it works both ways and i admit men are more likely to cheat, well i know i would. So i've been avoiding serious relationships, and the reason why is because seriously i don't wanna get hurt again and don't wanna hurt someone and i don't think it makes much sense going into a relationship expecting it to fail, that is ridiculous. O for now am just chilling messing around, doing me. Oh, nice Article by the way.
ReplyDeleteI think we as young people accept too much from the Relationships that we get into. You cannot go looking for committed (marriage material) partners in every 3rd person you meet. 90% of the time the person is not up for a serious commitment and most of the time we aren't either. Before we enter into a serious relationship we should let the other party understand what they are getting into. So we should have fun (safe fun within our various limits) and enjoy life and stop expecting sooo much of our fellow human beings. P.S I would love for my girl to do something stupid like set me up to see if I cheat! LOLz
ReplyDelete@Jamal:
ReplyDeleteI get what you're saying, but at the same time there's some iffy points in the post.
1)Yeah, some women do give themselves a bad rep, but men have been cheating on women since there have been men. Hell, even if all women were pure some men would still cheat. Plus, you have to remember that the image of a slutty woman has forever been manufactured by a man. You could just look at portrayals of women throughout history as either being a quiet, meek and precious virgin who doesn't speak up for herself, or a hard-nosed, slutty, argumentative bitch who is up to no good (and probably a witch).
Even today that's still true. Look at any conversation with boys on the block:
*Man calls over a girl and she doesn't respond"
Man1: "She was a ho anyway".
Man2: "How'd you know? You had sex with her?"
Man1: "No, I just know"
Man2: "But, how?"
Man1: "I just know".
See how it is? Half the bad rep that women get is just manufactured by men. Although you do get slutty girls.
2)Why is it a bad thing if a girl sleeps around? As long as it's consensual, protected and hopefully done with mature enough people who won't slander her, I don't see it as anything wrong. Sure, it's not the women who I'd go with, but to each their own.
3) And no, your dick wouldn't be the same. Run through 500 women and you'd definitely get herpes. Now you have an itchy dick. Run through 500 women without a condom and you'd probably have HIV. And herpes on top of that.
LOL! Mark! I understand your points. Me personally, I can tell you. I 'might not never' hit the 500 woman mark. I'm quite 'bourgeois' about where and who I place my dick within. As for the rep of women...I tell Shelli all the time...behind every man is a woman...those perceptions held are(one would guess) based on personal interaction with women in their lives. So yeah... And as for the women sleeping around thing...man...maybe my personal prejudices bias my opinion(lol not maybe they do) but...biologically...women weren't built for that lifestyle. So whenever I hear "sexually liberated" it's always synonym'd in my mind with "slut". :)
ReplyDeleteI totally get what you're saying. But I always make a difference. If she's one of those girls who sleeps with a dude for a cheeseburger or something, then I'm the first to call her a slut.
ReplyDeleteBut if she's in control of it, and she's choosy about WHO she sleeps with, then that is not a slut imho.
LOL @Cheeseburger. I understand what you're saying though. As long as the parameters extend beyond just how tall he is :p.
ReplyDeleteTrue. And hopefully none of these dudes have grillz in their mouth.
ReplyDeleteIf my daughter turned out to be promiscuous, she better be boning some sort of hippy actor/singer/dancers. Because at least she'd have a better story to tell other than "he was really good at crip walking".
"Bitches ain't shit" sums it up properly. You've given yourselves a bad rap with men. We're that way with you because we've learned at a early age you don't want or deserve good men...so we give you what you want. It's a vicious cycle. As for that double standard...If a key opens a bunch of locks...it's a master key...but if a lock can be opened by a bunch of keys...it's a shit lock. That 'double standard' is there for a reason. Because when a girl is 24, with a floppy twat and wondering why no one wants her after she let a rag-tag of assholes run through her...yeah come on...you can't be serious. At 24 MY dick will still be the same regardless of whether I had sex with 5 women or 500. It's as simple as that. At 24 her vagina will definitely have some wear and tear on it...regardless of how few men she's been with...it's all about minimizing damage. Vagina Responsibility. "Make room for desert"? I think not. -Jamal waits for the feminists- :)
ReplyDelete