I've made so many promises to myself to update recently but as usual, life happened.
A dear friend of mine, Sher, once gave me a journal a few years back with these Bible quotes on every other page. The words were thoughtful but I had not a clue as to what I would do with it. It was one of those gifts that you appreciate and on a deep level want for yourself but would never actually go and buy it as... there's other things you want more.
Ironically, when I was finally able to decide on what to do with it, I turned it into a goals journal. I try to write in it at least three times a year - to state my intended goals, reflect on progress, reflect on overall achievement at the end. What's my trend? Surprisingly, I actually do cover all of my goals, even if not in its entirety. Funnily enough, I also tend to not really cover anything until November-December. *wink* It's in keeping with my "I work best under pressure" theory.
This year was my most ambitious year I'd say - and with great risk comes great failures. The funny part of this story is that I swore it would be a drama free, successful year - instead it was the complete opposite, which I had not prepared for. Lesson to be learned? It's good to have a plan, but it's better to be practical where you can be with worse comes to worse situations.
I remember earlier up as I approached my 23rd birthday, annoyed at aging and not feeling like I've accomplished very much by that age, I pestered everyone about their experiences about their 23rd. The consensus was that it was a period of growth, learning and understanding of self. I thought to myself "ahhh psshhhh, whatever... let's see how this is gonna go."
"Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."
-Elizabeth Gilbert
As the year teeters to a close I must grudgingly admit, it has been a spiritual year of sorts. I once read somewhere that your 20s are about self-discovery, defining who you are, experimenting and so forth. My 20s thus far have been utterly disorienting in the manner of which one jumps through a rabbit hole unintentionally and just prays for the best.
What I've learned - finally - was that maybe I've been too idealistic in my approach to life. I still believe the world needs a little more naivety as people as too aware of all that's bad... But I think because of that awareness, it necessitates some sort of grounding within oneself within the real world. This is how it is - it could change, be yourself, but this is the world we live in currently.
I think it took me a while to reconcile that not all who listen are listening because they care, not all who seem to care, truly do and not everyone who seems trusting should be trusted.
I found myself disappointed, unhappy, somewhat bitter, and struggling to orient myself most of the time. At the very least, it's been truly experimental, riddled with bad mistakes and decisions, and some even bold ones. Who am I kidding? I'm being euphemistic. In many ways, it's been hell but there are a few people that helped make it heaven. Thanks for riding that wave with me, you know who you are. One must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation, and gracious for those who stick around for the ride.
“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment,
you recognized yourself as a friend.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
Most of my goals for this year were practical, financial, self-improvement goals. By time mid-year, I pretty much gave up hope on accomplishing anything as everything just seemed to be going wrong the harder I tried and then something magical happened.
I stopped trying. I think somewhere around here I was just too exhausted and decided to just ride out the year and try anew 2012.
What happened? Life slowed down for the first time in years. I was finally able to see. As corny as this may sound, I was able to take my own advice that I had been giving to other people through out. I learned to fix what I can, leave what I can't, forgive myself and move on. It's hard to do it, if you still have the fight in you. I think it's only when you've reached your moment of pis aller (last resort) does some sort of light start to shine.
Every single piece of advice I've ever given, or had been given to me, suddenly made sense. (...well not every piece, you know what I mean.) Not in the "Yeah... yeah... yeah..." way but in the way of an epiphany, almost as if things would never be the same.
In turn what happened? I was able to reflect on situations that happened through a different light. Earlier in the year a friend told me, "Third person is a motherf*cker." While I grasped the concept, only now I finally got some true semblance of understanding. When you're able to remove yourself from a situation, only then can you truly start to see just what it is or could be and come up with a sensible resolution. Until that moment, it's just sheer emotion, irrational acts and lots of prayers and hoping for the best.
A truly strong person does not need the approval
of others any more than a lion needs the approval
of sheep.
After the mid-point, things got better. Those goals I wanted to achieve? Guess who got a few of her art pieces sold.
I also reluctantly found myself in bittersweet situations as I realized that I've been holding on to a lot of people and things for sentimental reasons - their chapter has since closed in my life. It's time to let go. Letting go has been a lot easier with those who're supposed to be on their way out... much, much easier than I thought.
I was also able to see some people in different lights. There are those dear friends and family that I love, always will, and I truly believe will always be a part of my life. If it's meant to be, it will be. I've learnt being a part of my life doesn't mean separation anxiety once you disappear. True friendships are not about those who are with you every day doing randomness, it's about those who are there when the chips are down and ready to help you back up. I have a few gems.
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just
the same way you select your clothes every day.
This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to
control things in your life so bad, work on the mind.
That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
-Elizabeth Gilbert
Toni Morrison once said, "If you wanna fly, you got to give up the sh*t that weighs you down." With that said, I've learned to say 'no.' Since I'm no longer stretching myself thinly, badgering myself about doing things I don't really want to do, joining projects, adding new hobbies, etc... I get to do more things that make me happy and, by default, others. They say when you walk with purpose, you collide with destiny. I wrote a whole post about this a few months back. Once your attitude to life changes, the things you attract changes. When you open yourself to the mere possibility of possibilities, they start to reveal themselves because finally you're ready for them.
With that said, despite the softer, happier, more content note this year is closing on, there have been a few deaths of people I knew, or knew by virtue of association, close calls of others I know and those now discovering the possibility of the end. It struck home the fragility of life and how important it is to live for today. There's no young or old when death decides to come. It's important that those who you care about, know that you care and most importantly... that you care about yourself.
When you're gone... it's kind of like that story of the horse with the limp leg fetching a bag of grain on its back. No one knew where it came from, but they could've told you where it went from the trail of grain and dragged hoof marks. What sort of trail are you leaving behind? What's your story? And... it's never too late to change that story.
Les Brown said that people often wonder about what sort of funerals they would have, who would come, who truly cares, etc. But, no one ever thinks about all the hopes and dreams that would surround your casket dead with you... lamenting that you were the only person they felt capable of achieving these brilliant dreams and now, they're going to die with you. The graveyard is the richest place on Earth - it's filled the best ideas and inventions that never came to pass.
People focus too much on why things can't be done, rather than what can be done. Remember the road to mediocrity is paved by the hands of practical people. None of the great inventions past, and great inventions to come, were deemed practical nor possible but it just requires the belief that it could be done... and the attempt of doing it. And as the saying goes... there are the people who make history, and the people who endure it.
"I tried to teach [them] how to be kings,
And all they ever wanted to be were soldiers..."
-Jay-Z
On that note, as another friend told me a few weeks ago, "turn your bruises into wisdom." Let each day be a testimony of your daily effort to self-improvement, another effort towards achieving your own personal greatness, and another day of bestowing some sort of positivity/happiness into the world. I mean, there will be bad days though, some days are meant to be counted, other days are meant to be weighed. And remember that ruin is the road to transformation - only after you've broken down the bad, weaker parts can you build a stronger structure.
...And therein commences... or ends my career in acting...
Saturday I somehow managed to get sick from the night prior - don't ask me how. I sincerely thought I lost my voice from all the karaoke. I reluctantly dragged myself to town minutes to 3, convincing myself that the art exhibition would be opened late because it was only running for a short time frame to maximize visitations - but I was wrong and they closed at 2. That's understandable I guess, it's Grenada. I should've listened to dad when he was trying to herald my sniffling, sneezing, possibly slightly feverish backside out of the house.
After I arrived, late, Sher managed to persuade me to come check out Dwight's photoshoot at Modern Photostudios for his 'Mute' clip. MUTE is an idea of his that he's been molding a while now which stands for 'Must Unfold The inEvitable.' The inevitable, in my interpretation, relates to your ultimate destiny - your true potential, tapping into every creative bone in your body to achieve your dreams to their fullest. For the time being, he's developing his Youtube channel and doing short clips to develop his ideas until he writes the full script of a film short.
During the shoot...
Dwight is the official camera man. Photo of him centering the camera on Cemal.
Dwight explaining to us how it works...
Me filming Dwight's clip.
Dwight
Fooling around afterwards.... Cemal
Sher
...and that's a wrap folks!
Cut!
The finished product....
***
I was telling Sher... It's really amazing how these things work. I spent the last couple weeks musing to myself about what a disaster this semester is turning out to be. There's so many things I want to get on stream and make happen... Nothing is going according to plan... Distractions are popping up... And then BAM! You stop trying to find a way to make stuff work, and start focusing on what you want to happen and opportunities start popping up.
'When you walk with purpose, you collide with destiny.'
-Dr. Bertrice Berry
As Les Brown says, 'Walk by faith and not by sight... stop asking how it will happen - that's God's problem. You need to focus on your dreams and what you want to become a reality.' Next thing you know, I'm going to all these small events that are epic enough to give me some inspiration...Bring about some fresh ideas, revamp old ones... and as the story goes, when you walk with purpose, you collide with destiny... in that you start to find other people, like Dwight, traveling similar roads to pursuing their dreams - not necessarily the same dream, but a dream nuntheless - with a passion to fulfill it someday soon... And that kind of positive passionate energy is contagious. Even if you're uncertain as to what you want to do with your life, yourself, your job, whatever at that particular moment - it's hard not to feel compelled to do something positive too. It's almost as if all of a sudden motivation appears out of nowhere and plans suddenly start making themselves in your head... and the answers to all your 'how will this ever work?' questions to convert the plan into reality become revealed.
The only problem, I guess, is maintaining that 'wow' after the novelty and excitement wears off. My advice, keep on striving long after the spirit of inspiration has long departed. Somehow I believe, that little rays of sunshine shall shine their light when you least expect it, on the brink of giving up. Remember the darkest hour of the night only means that dawn is about to break.
So... to those pursuing their dreams, no matter how silly or seemingly futile. Much respect to you. Your efforts shall be rewarded.
I went to the beach again. This time.... I came back with pictures.
~~~
We went snorkeling and kayaking. I saw a turtle. It was awesome. I'm tired. I'll just post up my pics from the beach.
Isn't Grand Anse gorgeous??
I thought the water was the perfect shade of blue today... and it was soooo clear compared to when we went on Saturday. Then again, we had questionable weather Saturday with a bit of rain so I guess that's understood. I don't have an underwater camera so no photos of the turtle.
And yes, all of those conch were found on the reef where we were today.
This is going to be a short post. Mostly because I'm insanely tired.
I ended up going to bed minutes to three this morning... and it offset my resent normalization of sleep patterns so I'm right back where I started.
...that is, lying in bed, tired no ras, and sleep lingers just beyond the horizon point and laughing at me... Mocking me.
As for defeatist actions... All the mesh on all the windows, has not stopped the mosquitoes from simply entering through the front door. After spraying out my room for mosquitoes because they're partially keeping me awake (and ruining my skin), my dad thoughtfully opened my door to welcome the mosquitoes in the rest of the house to take up new residency in my room - I mean.... He opened my door to air out the insecticide as opposed to open my lovely effective mesh covered windows. *sigh*
The second I hear one buzz, I'm going to open back my bedroom door and admit defeat that I can't get rid of those pesky mosquitoes.... and take my bites like a woman.
I also have an exam to study for tomorrow. But I'm sooo tired. It's not even funny. I'm just going to go straight to bed and revise during the day. I'm ok enough to pull it off... hmm...
***
As for the good news (and favourite things)? I had a truly blissful weekend. I'm still smiling from it. I have the most awesome friends and an adorably sweet bf.
After an overly melodramatic evening, I woke up this morning with a firm decision to give this optimism thing another go. I kept telling everyone they must take control of their lives; stop behaving as if things just keep happening to them and they have no control over any aspect of it, not even how they react to it. I kept speaking of keeping a positive attitude regardless of the circumstance but at the same time I failed to be the poster child for positivity.
Anyways, I woke up this morning with the echoes of my own words 'think positive, and don't worry, cuz you'll stop the opportunities from presenting themselves.'
Thus far, my day has been a little short of a dream (that is how I know I'm still grounded in reality *wink*). When you walk with purpose you collide with destiny. When you walk with certainty, the universe has but no option but give you what you want... especially when you make it clear there is no other option.
I surprised myself... After walking around expecting the worst, I got my first full-fledged all encompassing A on my Lit midterm essays. Granted, the essays are worth less than the midterm paper which I have yet to write.... But it's still an assignment in and of itself, and I got an A. I arrived late for the exam, I rushed through the essays, I barely finished any of my conclusions, I mis-wrote my citations and had to end up looking through the text IN the exam to find them and it took up so much time and..... I got a 96..! I am... pleasantly surprised. That really did set my day off on an awesome note... And the irony is, I was thinking about how nice my teacher is and that I should probably get her a card at the end of the semester (because you don't stumble across nice/good teachers very often).
Now... I'm feeling slightly more enthused. Now... it means there's a possibility that my History paper that I finished the morning it was due and suffered no sleep to complete... could be an A too... OoOooh how nice that would be. *clasps hands together gleefully with a childlike grin*
Now I'm going to get back to work... Now that my confidence in my writing has been restored with a meagre essay (lol) I feel competent enough to assist my friend... since they want my help with their paper.
***
You said I'm stubborn and I never give in I think you're stubborn 'cept you're always softening You say I'm selfish, I agree with you on that I think you're giving out in way too much in fact I say we've only known each other one year You say I've known you longer my dear You like to be so close, I like to be alone I like to sit on chairs and you prefer the floor Walking with each other, think we'll never match at all, but we do But we do, but we do, but we do
I thought I knew myself, somehow you know me more I've never known this, never before You're the first to make out whenever we are two I don't know who I'd be if I didn't know you You're so provocative, I'm so conservative You're so adventurous, I'm so very cautious, combining You think we would and we do, but we do, but we do, but we do -Adele 'My same'
Ey, Facebook is a kinda ting eh? A jus dey browsing good good an nex ting ah jus dey stumbling upon d births of d juiciest scandals... wha kinda ting is dat? I fine ppl need to b real careful wha dey postin dey eh... especially if you dun fren dem ppl yuh doh wha see.
***
Life Lesson #4: The universe does not exist in complete chaos... or any kind of chaos for that matter. Because you don't understand something doesn't mean it fails to work due to your lack of understanding.
Life has a funny way of working itself out. I believe the complexities and trials are just there to make it a retrospective exciting memory, some of which take longer to appreciate and find the humour than others, but excitement nuntheless.
It's a cold day in NYC, but then again, what would be a day in Fall if nothing but cold? This is a check that you are living, and the systems of how things are supposed to be and ought to be are working. The bit of discomfort of the cold I'm experiencing is just to reassure my existence and the normalcy that... yea...
When I first came up here, it was interesting. I mean that in all ways, negative, postive, neutral, whatever... Readjusting to being back at school. Having people constantly trying to create little earthquakes and fractures in my path. Learning to manage funds tighter because of the allure of the city makes it necessary.
I lost confidence in my academic ability. I'm doing 4 subjects - Ancient Greek Philosophy, Biology, American Governments and Introduction to Business. I have done a bit of work in all these areas prior to starting Baruch. However, having not been in school for 2 years kind of makes my return a bit daunting.
After much (constant) complaining, I've got the results back from my first set of exams. Not that this is particular unusual for me, but I've seen my errors and how simple they were and I've accepted my grades. I realize most of my errors in the multiple choice was due to glossing over some major points as opposed to taking it seriously. It has naught to do with detailed studying, but more to do with focused studying. You could know a little and do as well at m.c. exams as opposed to being able to b.s. your way through essays. It's about being thorough in the little that you do know, so as to be able to rationalize your points.
I entered those exams with a defeatist attitude. In my Political Science (Amer. Gov't) exam, the questions that were supposedly difficult acording to the professor, when I went through my paper as we were discussing answers - I got them right. I got really obvious answers wrong. If I think back to the day of the exam, I had very low expectations. I practically gave up and made a personal promise to myself to take the next exam more seriously. I got full marks on my essay in the exam. I was so pleased... and surprised. I would've gotten an A+ with the essay alone. I ended up with a C for landing smack on the 50/50 line in the M.C. (which was 75% of the grade). I ended up with 76 which is a C. But I'm not upset... I now how I could've done better.
I got a B+ in the homework assignment. I recognize my faults there. I know how to improve it.
I got an A on my Bio quiz. I'm so pleased... I got 76 (a B or C) last quiz. I studied hard, made a couple more simple mistakes, I ended up with 90. YAY me.
As your Business... my essays are fine, A+ in the last(and only, thus far) one...and 76 in the m.c. exam... Again, I'm working on the problem.
I say life is so funny because sometimes you need to be humbled and be in a bad position to appreciate and understand what a good position is.
One cannot say there is too much chaos in the world. Everyday I realize more and more that the universe has a plan that we're not privy to. Everything balances itself out, despite man's attempts to ruin and destroy in their efforts to make their existence more "pleasing". But there is a method to every bit of madness. It's not pure chaos. It's just chaos because we cannot understand it with hindsight.
I've been through a series of questioning periods... I realized that the universe provides all the answers with time and patience. Thus, it's not whether you find solutions... It's whether you're asking the right questions.
Mmmmm... I love life.
***
Beres Hammond - 'Step Aside' (live version)
***
Ohhh.. and this is a good friend of mine Thamz.... I love her version of the song.. clickety click below and check it out...
I'm trying to inspire myself into finishing my paper. Yesterday I hit a peak with my happiness levels... I haven't been that high in a while, and I think I got stuck there. I was so hyper happy I could hardly contain my excitement for anything... I was so excited I could hardly focus on my work, but I was so unbelievably optimistic about everything, and confident that I would finish what I needed to do, I wasn't worried.
I'm ready to pop this bubble of mine. I need something humbling, because I can't focus... and that's driving me crazy... Is this all for nothing? Something good?
***
I have so much to be happy about. I finished my first paper. Bus1000, I hope I do well.
I'm getting two of my pieces published in the WAG anthology. A part of me is nervous because well, I may think my work is good... but who's to say others would like it too? Furthermore, one of my pieces is controversial...
I can't believe this... today is the first time in the history of me being a teacher that I've left the compounds this late for the mere fact that I was marking papers...! I left probably around minutes to 6, and reached home around 7.30 pm.
I've pulled "don't go to bed till the sun rises" all nighters from marking papers... BUT I was in school.... Ru and I were the last teachers there. The principal and all left... Thank God for the company. Thanks for staying Ru..
My shoulders ache the kind of ache one gets from carrying weight just a little more than usual.
Fortunately I have good friends to help me since the Brazil trip put me back... Thanks Nata and Ru.
***
Can somebody hand me a distraction? That's what I want for my early Christmas present... a distraction.
***
WOW...
This cutie pie just told me the cutest thing... perfect distraction. *blush*
See my eyes twinkle now.
***
Wake up kids We've got the dreamers disease... If you feel your dream is dying Hold tight You've got the music in you Don't let go You've got the music in you One dance left This world is gonna pull through Don't give up You've got a reason to live Can't forget you only get what you give -New Radicals
***
So, about Brazil.
My most popular Brazil story is about my being attacked by a wild animal in the sub-tropical rain forest.
The story goes like...
So we're staying at the Cataratas Hotel in Foz de Iguassu. The hotel is absolutely gorgeous... I swear it looks like a pink castle, about 60 something years to date I think. It's also the only hotel in the middle of the national rain forest reserve.
So there I was, walking along, minding my business... Fearing nothing in the wilderness, following the crashing sounds of the waterfall to get a closer photo. When.....
Suddenly....
Out of NOWHERE....
I was surrounded by a pack of these wild mini-fox looking animals. They were snarling at me. I was terrified. I vaguely remembered the sign by the pool that said what to do in the timely event of encountering wildlife around the area...
I nearly fainted....! But before that happened, one of the vicious cretins just jumped out and bit me.
I mean...
Look at it...
Scroll down slowly... brace yourself...
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It's a mighty....
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................................
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Little...
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Intimidating....
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.... ..........................
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........................ Kind of...
CUTE CRITTER!!!!
So the real story goes like... That animal is the national animal of the Falls called the Quati(Coati). They're rather friendly, remind me of pigeons how they just walk around like the own the place.
There's several signs around the place that says "DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS". Who really reads those signs..? Seriously?
I just thought it was soooo adorable. Lorraine told me one let her pet it, so.... with this new knowledge that these cute wild animals let humans pet it, I went out on a mission, dragging her with me, to pet a quati.
The quati was very bored with me and was walking away... until I opened my bag and it came running back. I took out this oat bar I got on the plane and gave it to L. She dangled it over it's head and it stood up on its hind legs walking towards her like.. "Feed me mommy... Feed me."
After a while, we decided to open it and give it a small piece. It ran off into the bush with it. L handed back the remaining bar to me... next thing I know, I'm being bitten. It's a small nip. I believe it was more to get the contents out of my hand.
My dad, mom and Mr. L who were also nearby witnessed the incident and started muttering and grumbling about reading signs and heeding warnings... blah blah blah.
Point is, I just accomplished one thing on my "to-do" list before I die... I stayed in rainforest AND as a plus, I have battle scars to prove. Ok... I have stories of my battle scares from my wild animal attack since the two dots will surely fade in a few weeks.
***
As we're on the topic of the Falls and things on my to-do list.. I went on the Safari trip, that concluded with a boat ride to get a close up with the falls... and under the falls itself.
.... So thats enough on Brazil for the night.
The ghost hunt at Cataratas hotel shall be reserved for another night.
That's enough cheesy writing for the night. Shelli out. Ciaoz.......!
Oh wait... did I mention I had a VIP room for my birthday..? Not that that means much... but it's the first time *I* had my own room in a club.
The truth it seems is something that lingers regardless of whether you want to acknowledge it's looming presence... or not. It sits quietly, patiently, waiting in the shadows cloaked in the promise of it's eventual revelation.
As the pieces fall apart, as things eventually do, all you can do is step back and watch the process. If you're on the receiving end, let the realization start to slink over your skin and grab a Sprite as your head your brain start to whir as the pieces you didn't even realize you noticed start to create the most intricate of patterns.
If the truth revealed is all on your part, to your detriment, as my students love to do, you whip out your most shocked and surprised mask and express your lack of afore-knowledge to the revelation. Or confess quickly as the pieces of your lies threaten to dissipate and lunge off the cliff of uncertainty and pray for a relatively scathe-free landing - or contact your insurance agent.
The point of all this is...
Just be honest. It works it better in the end. A good cover story is just a good cover story. It alters naught.
***
School is in it's final weeks. I'm almost, I repeat ALMOST, upset by the mere notion of teaching coming to a close for Easter vacation. My Form 3s have started being more cooperative, and thus, show promise. It was just one good class following another good class. We started doing still life with fruits. Some of the students get it. Most appear to have the most basic understanding of what they are trying to do.
I got that warm fuzzy feeling inside when I walked into the classroom and the students were bickering......... NOT because they don't want to have class. NOT because they have exams today. BUT because they wanted to arrange the desks to set up their displays quickly so they could start their work (and I like to think of it as conscious efforts on their part to maximize class time). If I could do the Fred Flintstone click my heels thing that day - I would have.
As for my English students, I'm trying to make the class more fun. I'm not sure how successful my efforts are. My students seem to participate more, and I, admittedly, am enjoying my classes a lot more. I'm changing up my techniques and trying to figure out fun ways to teach the topics. I guess that's the point of being a teacher : Trying to find new ways to teach something (potentially inherently boring) in a way that the students will learn, understand and remember.
I love my job once more.
Wait.. I should whisper that. Don't wanna jinx it.
In the cloak of darkness that is the night, all I feel is the pendulum swinging that questions everything. Left... Right... Never static, just swinging. Relax.
*deep inhale* Relax.
***
Today has been tiring. I did manual labour this morning. *gasp* As in, work with mud and weeds and such... My parents insisted that I come with them to the land. I nearly fractured my hip from a falling mango that connected with my side... And I nearly got a concussion, in addition to a possible fractured wrist from falling avocados I was helping to catch. Somewhere around that point, I declared there was too many health risks involved and I don't believe my insurance covers a clause "injury from falling avocado".
Think of how ridiculous it sounds if I actually got injured...
~~~ *teacher walking down the street* Student: 'Miss, why were you absent from school?' Teacher: 'A mango fell on my hip, and an avocado on my head.' ~~~
Doesn't that sound ridiculous? That makes the whole "dog ate my homework" thing possible.
***
Then, later on I went to Grand Anse.... bought myself one of those delicious fruit smoothies, met up briefly with a couple friends, then headed to the beach.
The beach always calms me. Soothes the soul... and makes me sleepy.
So on that note, I shall depart.
~~~
It doesn't mean much it doesn't mean anything at all the life I've left behind me is a cold room I've crossed the last line from where I can't return where every step I took in faith betrayed me and led me from my home
And sweet sweet surrender is all that I have to give -Sweet Surrender' Sarah McLachlan
Today is yet another day to attempt to post a proper entry here. I'm tired... but now I'm not sure as to whether it's because I'm truly tired or if I'm just accustomed to being tired so my mind tells my body so...
So tonight I shall try to type up something worth the effort of reading...
***
Today was good. I started my first practical class with my Form 4s... This is the first time they're doing art, so that's 3 years they didn't have. Last week, I did a crash course in the theory - made the basic vocabulary into a nutshell - Elements of Art. Hopefully, if all goes according to plan I could find some way to incorporate the theory in a by-the-way method with the practical. They all forgot to bring their stuff, so they used impromptu green pea tree leaves from outside. I can't rush the lesson... and I have to constantly remind myself to go slowly... But from one class, I think they show promise.
For tomorrow's class, they will be bringing in boxes. Nice, simple boxes. Perfect for clean lines... to understand basic shapes... to see distinct shade values. Yummy. *glares* Let's hope they remember. I shall go look for some things around the house in the event they do...
***
Floating on sunshine happy.
***
Ok, so yet again I have failed. I started this post early, punctuated it with snack breaks and all I've succeeded in doing is let the tiredness truly sink in.
"There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall." -Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
***
She looks a little bit different now
Maybe a little bit softer round her eyes
Just a little bit different now
Maybe a little bit softer round her eyes
-"Softer" Jimmy Eat World
***
Today was a lovely day. Not too long ago, Shamz had a quote on his msn screen name which said "always keep moving... cuz if you're not moving, you're not going anywhere." So I feel as if things are moving nicely along.
I'm super tired. I shall leave a promise of posting more in the morning...
on an end note...
An Optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds...A Pessimist...fears that this is true...!
Sorry for the build up of a great post to the fall down of a half hearted barely there one.
P.S. I changed my template and Blog name... I still love "Don't Play With It". I might still come back to it in the future... who knows what could happen? I just wanted to change the blog tone again.. I'm still feeling out this template. Thus, Template may change again...
Frankie and I were just talking about how HOT a mix between Justin and Britney would be... and the irony of it all considering their little feud of the ex-es/you-cheated-on-me-so-i'll-forever-release-songs-about-you-with-look-alikes thing going on..
But just think of the possibilities... TWO club anthems... think of the hotness...
Cartwheels and daisies. Smiling sun clears the wariness from your eyes. Dew drops on the fresh blossoms. A kind soul, true and deep. Everlasting soul to keep.
It feels good, to be right, in every way that matters. It feels good to have answers to questions that once remained unanswered. It feels good to not let pride stand in the way of what matters...
I used to say... the more tragic the better
-'Unsent' Alanis Morisette
like you didn't see this coming...
i just couldn't stay away...
I came home early. Fullstop arrived. I left school around 11 am, went to town to pay some bills and then found my way home - and into my bed.
Of course it didn't happen so fluidly. I've lost my house keys, which has proven to be something short of a handicap. I had to borrow dad's keys day before yesterday. I went looking to cut a key yesterday and apparently no where cuts keys like ours. Today I had to beg mom to drop her key home for me to borrow... So I'm left with one decision - go find my key.
*dreds the mere idea of looking for the key*
~~~
I finished typing up my exams... I just have to print it properly (my ink finished) and cut & paste my sketches in for my kids. I'm going to do up some templates and some reminders for them as well... hmm...
~~~
I drank some orange juice today. Yummy. I love me some orange juice. *rubs tummy*
I slept from about 1-4 pm today. *big grin*
So... I'm running out of things to talk about... think I'm going to go rest a bit more and mark out the Form 1 papers when I get up... and study...
Riddle me a line and justify this rhythm that doesn't explain itself yet plays with the mind in the traditional ways that never cease to exist.
~~~
Take it with a grain of salt. Everything. Don't just lick all that soup up like you've never had soup before... Listen as the story explains itself. The tale is retold - there are three sides to the story. Just listen, don't judge. The time for that is not now. Remain wary, but don't cast judgement. Things have a way of sorting themselves out... take it one day at a time.
Breathe in that fresh air. Take a deep breath in. Savour it.
~~~
My birthday was lovely. Sher dropped by to drop off my gift... I'm sleepy...
Welcome to my little piece of the blogosphere. I'm a Caribbean artist/ wildlife conservationist/ adventure enthusiast. Hope my blog brings a bit of sunshine into your life.
