Don't play with it

I concede....... I am not as invincible as I previously thought I was... I guess in all fairness I kind of looked for it too... After months of telling people how I survived my first winter pretty well and never got sick once, etc etc.... I walked in the rain with Enda to prove a "the rain doesn't make you sick but if there are pollutants in it..." point and... now I have the cold. humph..

The good news is, it's leaving. The bad news is I still feel slightly delirious. The worse news is, I have piles of school work to do.

*sigh* I think I'm getting a fever because my skin hurts...

***

On the bright side yesterday was Spring Fling or Bling or whatever they call it... I was still sick, it started to rain, the line for the free food was wayyyyy long... BUT I must say that the DJ was decent... and I wanted to do the Boulder Dash thingy in the bouncy castle and rock climb... but yea. Stupid rain and cold. Hmph.

And tonight the Caribbean Students Association is hosting a party 'Temptations' (I think) and Beenie Man is supposed to be performing... and Dia and I are going. Hopefully it would be good, I don't know what kind of party starts at 5 and finishes at 11...? It's broad daylight until like 8..? How could it start so early..??

Anyways, sick people shouldn't be on the comp. for long periods... especially when they can't think up a proper eventful coherent post to type... sooo..

Shelli out.
Ciaoz

***


***

I need to relax. I didn't realize until today how high-strung I've been. Today I'm home sick. I believe I have a self-fulfulling prophecy that I fill each term, that is, school makes me sick. We have a tad bit of construction going on at our school and everybody's being exposed to a little bit of dust and what not. I ate what my doctor described as the recipe for a bad case of indigestion: a cup of tea w/ milk, fried saltfish soaked in olive oil, and green fig. Followed by a midnight munching around midnight of some uber delicious Palawi mangoes.

By 2.30 am my indigestion caught up with me and i spent a while hunched over the sink bringing up liquefied versions of my dinner. I went to school Monday, left around 9 to go to the doctor. Then I came home.

Feeling rather weak... Now my stomach is fine... Now I have a fever and a headache and my bones/joints hurt.

***


***

I just had the most poetic shower moment. I was gazing through the small bathroom window facing the southern end of the island, looking at the sky. Today was the ideal sleep-in day with all the rain that's been falling. The river outside my window was raging... yes, yes... Ideal sleep-in weather. Strangely enough whilst the clouds behind the house are still grey and gloomy, to the south of the island the clouds are like white etches in the sky with some blue peeking out...

After one time is another.

In that sole moment, that was the only thought that entered my head - 'After one time is another'... Everything in life follows a rhythm, a series of beats. There's pause between each beat - some pauses longer than others, but nuntheless a pause. It is in those pauses one becomes reminiscent or nostalgic or depressed or hopeful or optimisitic. It is in those moments when the beat stops momentarily that the brain stops the action momentarily and official thought registers. This pause feels like a collision course sometimes, but it's always most enlightening. It's a near overdose of that cliché 'seeing things in perspective'. It's the moment of the real epiphanies.

It's in these breaks we just stop and think. Most of the time, not because we want to, but because there's nothing else when life pulls to a halt. As the beat is about to begin, two options presents themselves. Those two options are, shall the rhythm continue as it was before? Are you satisfied with the rhythm your life is dancing to? The pace? The intensity? The direction? The mood? OR... shall the beat be changed up a bit? Shall it be altered somewhat? And you determine that definition of the amount of what 'somewhat' entails...

Hmm.. rhythms... rhythms with the patterns/habits you form, the friends you make, the words you speak, the music you listen to, the dreams you have, the thoughts you allow... they're all rhythms... Life is full of rhythms...

The rhythm of the raindrops dripping on the leaves... coinciding with the footsteps crushing the grass... that "shh's" with every step stepping... in the direction towards the river's edge... where the rhythm of the sound is that of a continuous, fast-paced, yet soothing rhythm.

***

Guess what?

I've lost my voice. Thus, that means I'm sick - again.
hmm...

Shelli out.

Cartwheels and daisies. Smiling sun clears the wariness from your eyes. Dew drops on the fresh blossoms. A kind soul, true and deep. Everlasting soul to keep.

It feels good, to be right, in every way that matters. It feels good to have answers to questions that once remained unanswered. It feels good to not let pride stand in the way of what matters...

boo boop be bo boo....

Feels good to be...

Ugh.. my cough returns.

I'm going to bed.
Shelli out.

Just a quick pop in...

I'm sick. I'm tired. I ache.

I'm going to bed.

like you didn't see this coming...

i just couldn't stay away...

I came home early. Fullstop arrived. I left school around 11 am, went to town to pay some bills and then found my way home - and into my bed.

Of course it didn't happen so fluidly. I've lost my house keys, which has proven to be something short of a handicap. I had to borrow dad's keys day before yesterday. I went looking to cut a key yesterday and apparently no where cuts keys like ours. Today I had to beg mom to drop her key home for me to borrow... So I'm left with one decision - go find my key.

*dreds the mere idea of looking for the key*

~~~

I finished typing up my exams... I just have to print it properly (my ink finished) and cut & paste my sketches in for my kids. I'm going to do up some templates and some reminders for them as well... hmm...

~~~

I drank some orange juice today. Yummy. I love me some orange juice. *rubs tummy*

I slept from about 1-4 pm today. *big grin*

So... I'm running out of things to talk about... think I'm going to go rest a bit more and mark out the Form 1 papers when I get up... and study...

Much Love....
Shelli Out.

I have had one roller coaster ride of a day.

~~~

My kids were like spawns from hell today. I don't know if i seemed/sounded like it, but i felt horrible today. Every time i stood up in the classroom i felt so weak, like i felt as if i swayed slightly, that i sat right back down and tried to stay there. One of my Form 2s took so much of my already depleted, from this sickness, energy source that for the 2nd period i just sat and took names. I couldn't be bothered to raise my voice and force them to do anything. My voice was literally going because of this cough.

Hmm... i really do hope i feel better tomorrow.. I really do hope my classes are better tomorrow.

~~~

It's 10.57 P.M... I think i just may have seen the second saddest, if not the saddest episode of Y&R... I almost cried when they didn't find Dru's body... Now the Newman Jet has gone down... And they can't find Nick.

What is up with these writers? Nikki is behaving just like Sharon did when Cassie died. She's blaming Victor.

Nick... wow...there's something strangely disconcerting in Soaps lack of predictability these days... They're taking the tear-jerker route every opportunity they get.

When Phyllis found out from Michael about what happened... at that point did my eyes begin to water. Phyllis is such a wonderful actor... I felt her pain.

Lily and Daniel.. Jack and Sharon... Oooh.. the look of hope on everyone's faces as Sharon walked into the room oblivious to what had happened... Jack's reaction to seeing her.. thinking she was a ghost... hmm...

~~~

It seems everything about today finished with a sombre note. I guess in a way it was all very humbling. I mean, there were some highlights... that includes the meeting up with Danielle and Shev on the Square... seeing Brendon and Dri Dri... reaching home unscathed.... but still.

Life never promised there wouldn't be bad days...

'Tis how the cookie crumbles...

Just roll with the punches...

Ok, i think that's enough clichés for the night...

~~~

I'm sick...
i feel absolutely horrid...
as in teeth chattering cold (while dressed particularly warm), as in joints ache, as in skin hurts, as in... i think i have a temperature... as in i have a headache... as in ... i feel oh so weak...

but my classes...

*trimbles* *gets up and closes windows*

Must get better....

I feel awful.... somebody make it stop.

i'm going to snuggle in bed.
good nite.
shelli out.