It's Wednesday. You know what that means? Friday is two nights away.
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Now a Facebook friend of mine runs a website called "Ghetto Police" and "No Way Girl". Today he's just on a.... I can't think of a word to describe it but he's updating his statuses almost every 5 minutes. However, despite the frequency of his name in my newsfeed and the crudeness of what he has to say - it makes sense. Another friend of mine, Jamal, made me add him as a friend because he felt it would be an educational experience for me. (lol) And that I'd learn a lot about relationships and stuff. Bleh, I think he just says things I already know but forget. But nuntheless, it comes up so random that it's entertaining if nothing else.
So like I've been complaining to my friend about some of the stuff Nick posts recently because it seems like he's become more raw in his approach... But for the most part, I think he makes some sense. I don't agree with the harshness - but as my dad always says, sometimes you need to deliver a little shock treatment to get a proper reaction.
He is right when he says that "positive advice" isn't really working. His main peeves revolve around the direction society is going in. He speaks constantly about the gully and gaza kings and queens. Mind you, I myself was in such a situation recently lamenting over that.
I had bounced into a young girl about 18-19 years old and on her Facebook profile she has, like many other females, an album called "Gaza Queen" in which she posts pictures of herself. I remember it fondly because I complained to everyone willing to listen to me, boyfriend included. I mean, how could any self-respecting female refer to themselves seriously not as a joke but seriously as a Gully or Gaza princess/queen? *perks eyebrow* Currently, the new epidemic is everyone is a Barbie, following the whole Nicki Minaj trend.
I'm in Grenada, I have many of my ex-students and their friends on one of my Facebook profiles and you can bet that somewhere in the midst of their names are "Barbie" or "Diva." Is that what we all want to be when we grow up? Party to materialistic American pop culture?
As for the men, I really don't get the whole "I'm a gangsta" thing. Every time I get a friend request, I check through profile pictures. Should I encounter an album entitled gaza or gully, photos of guns, you throwing up gang signs, your chances of being added get halved. None of this is "cool."
Just the other day I was having a similar discussion with my mom. We were talking about men and women today and how they behave. I was telling her that I think the problem greatly weighs upon the female because the men are only doing what works to get the girl. A lot of young women have created a situation whereby men don't have to really be respectable with their approach, they don't have to value the relationship, they don't really have to do anything.... Because not enough females seem to respect themselves enough to say - Hell to the NO! Reel and come again..!
Following are Nick's direct statuses with minor censorship. Check his websites out. He knocks females a lot, but as he said in one of his statuses, he's a guy so his focus is primarily on women. It's up to the women to set the record straight with expectations from men.
Word.
Mind you, as I said before, he speaks pretty raw. His threads run pretty long so I only screen shot the first couple posts. One of them went up to 38 posts in commentary. But really, he makes sense. The sad part is, he's writing from a Bahamian perspective but what he says I think is pretty much true for the whole Caribbean region. Everyone thinks it's cool to be gangsta and ghetto... And those who don't think it's cool to be gangsta think its cool to be a barbie or a diva or caught up in some other brand name culture be it Gucci or Dior...whatever. No one is aspiring to be the next Bill Gates or create some positive musical revolution or launch some brilliant idea that would actually help society. Nope. Aspiring gaza and gullys.
I love Google. I really do. I believe Google even owns Blogger right now... and if they didn't, then I wouldn't have been one of the first to get exclusive access to Gmail when it was first launched... Since then Google bought Youtube and formed numerous partnerships... launched an awesome browser (Chrome) and so forth.
However, in the back of my mind I've always wondered, am I the only that sees a problem with all that power? I remember back when I discovered that Google tracks your searches, the sites you frequent. There's supposed to be a feature somewhere, not that I remember how to get back to it, that shows you the history of your browsing by day, week, month, year. Sure, cool? I say creepy. But that was years ago... This article here discusses the privacy issues from then and this one as of current.
I mean... don't you think it's weird that one company should have so much information about you? Your emails, your browsing, your chat conversations, phone conversations, etc?
I've always asked, so what if one day Google should become interested in me then? Some grand scale lawsuit comes up that requires to pull information about my online habits? I mean the chances are slim, but it's not a complete impossibility now is it? Stranger things have happened, even if such a case hasn't happened yet, it simply means there's potential for anyone's goose to be plucked, stuffed and cooked with the ease of a few clicks. ...
If search history, e-mail and registration information were combined, a company could see intimate details about a person's health, sex life, religion, financial status and buying preferences.
It's "data that's practically a printout of what's going on in your brain: What you are thinking of buying, who you talk to, what you talk about," Bankston said. "It is an unprecedented amount of personal information, and these third parties (such as Google) have carte blanche control over that information."
Sure, they won't reveal your information to 3rd parties. *Shrug* That's what they all say... I'm just saying it's not impossible for some shade of gray area to pop up requiring the information being released. And then what?
So what inspired this? Msn's article today about invasion of privacy by a Google employee.
David Barksdale lost his job at Google after parents complained that the 27-year-old Site Reliability Engineer violated the online privacy of at least four minors, reports Gawker. According to the story, Barksdale used his elite position to tap into Google voice phone logs, accessed Google contact lists and chat transcripts, and in at least one incident, unblocked himself from a Google Talk buddy list after the teen account owner blocked him.
...The problem is with people, and until Skynet, there's no getting past that reality. Speaking of egregious pop culture references, who here hasn't played "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," embracing that tingly feeling of power you get when your search engine superpowers to uncover even the most benign intimacies belonging to people you know in real life?
...With elite access comes great responsibility, sometimes too tempting to resist. That creepy Google engineer stalker guy isn't so much an anomaly as he is evidence that your online privacy is gone gone gone, and it ain't never coming back.
So now we don't even have to wait for 3rd party prompting. We could just wait on some employee on the inside to abuse the information access.
I just saw the most disturbing vid. I don't even remember how I landed on the video, but I remember seeing a warning about the images being graphic and disturbing. However, while it is graphic - it's nothing that movies haven't desensitized us to already and it's not even as graphic as the very worst of them, e.g., Saw. What was disturbing was the ideas it was pushing.
I know not many people will agree with what I'm about to say. The video is based on the war in Iraq. It has images from bombing the people. Words on screen pushing the idea that the attack is valid, and they are doing God's work. In fact, at the end of the video they say "Either we help you meet your maker...or you can take matters into your own hands."
As I watched it... several thoughts ran through my head. First of all, there are wicked people all over - and you don't have to be Muslim to be wicked. There are wicked Christians too *cough* slavery... *cough* the Crusades... *cough* Well... furthermore, this isn't even about religion...wicked people exist period, regardless. And just as there are wicked amongst us in every group, there are good people too...or those who at the very least, want to be good or have the potential to be but just aren't strong enough to stand up against the masses.
Secondly, I don't believe that all of Iraq is fully supportive of the terrorist movements. I do believe that there must be some innocent people over there... and it's not right to just kill everyone.
Thirdly... remember the Crusades? Destroying the Muslim holy places... Isn't the Jihad just the Crusades in reverse? All those who are saying "those people must not know God or fear God to attack Americans and attack Christians"....what do you think the Muslims were saying about the Christian belief in God?
Lastly... I'm not saying it's right. I don't fully believe terrorists did 9/11. I don't fully trust America either. I mean... there was no weapons of mass destruction to begin with - but that was one of the themes they were pushing. They have technology to see a license plate via satellite.... but they can't find one man that can't survive without a dialysis (Osama Bin Laden)? There's too many questions swimming around that whole thing. The media naturally, as with what they do with every idea they want society to accept, just as with homosexuality (no I'm not homophobic but for the sake of argument) has found ways to incorporate the culture of fear and terrorism into most of their programs from sitcoms to movies. Every where you turn, the media is telling you how you're supposed to feel about Muslims, terrorists, etc... the level of fear and suspicion who're supposed to be experiencing... Who pays the media? Who do they rely on for support...? Oh right.. let's think back to Elections... it all comes back to the governments. Therefore, the people are merely puppets on a string, blindly accepting everything thats being pushed to them. What are the real intentions of the those leading?
I don't support fighting violence with violence... although I heard a quote in the 'A-Team' movie that even Ghandi the pacifist said that in certain situations it is warranted. I don't support just killing people either. But I believe in the world we live in, unfortunately, it's the only thing people seem to understand when the fragility of life starts coming to the forefront with death surrounding. But I also don't believe in placing God in the rationale for killing people either as the video pushes. War isn't God's work as far as I'm concerned... but that's just me...
Let me post this again..... FUCK IRAQ! Pull every american out of there and and then drop an atomic bomb and wipe those mutha fuckers off the map.-2reply
Why dude? What did the Iraqis do to you? They didn't carry out 911, Saudi Arabia & Pakistan did most of the work. Yeah you are right though, together with the women & children, we should destroy all the remains of the Sumerian/Mesopotamian civilization, where writing, the very skill you are using to type your ignorance into words, was invented. Sure, we should destroy the Craddle of Civilization because Bill O'Reilly from Fox says so.+1-1reply
I don't give a fuck about them, because they don't give a fuck about us. I've lost too many friends to IED's to give one shit about the Iraqis. They are savages that have no fucking value for human life. Look at how they treat women. SAVAGES. And who gives a shit about where language came from. I used to go to a Bob's Big Boy when I was a kid and it was leveled to make room for an apartment complex so life changes. It's time for theirs to be extinguished.-1reply
Iraq?..no .....but I knew an Iranian pretty well,. my brother's girlfriend.. she was nice... during one thanksgiving family get together, she was invited..,..and she went ahead and carved the whole turkey,.. I swear, after she was done with her handy knife-work,..not one scrap of meat was left on that damn thing !!! (10 minutes later at most)... never seen anything like it.. -ever since then,..she was known to us as the "terrorist" -lovely story,.huh reply
yeah lets be retro and use atomic bombs.... thats so 1950s cool man......seriously tho we are far to concerned about collateral damage and civilian deaths..... we could be much harder on them.... much much harder reply
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine posted on fb that the thing that destroys lives the most are two words in the English language............... "They say"
I remember chuckling to myself and hitting the "like" button, and wishing I could hit it multiple times because that is indeed true. People's commentary. There is always someone with information to carry be it "he say/she say/they say" so that "ah hear that..." can work as a starter.
How does it destroy lives? Because it leads to uncertainty. In a situation where a modicum of doubt existed, the smallest dash of "they say..." is all that is needed to make that modicum grow. Sometimes the doubt is valid, sometimes it's not. It's all a matter of perception. And of course, thus far in all our lives, we've had instances where our perceptions have misled us into hasty decisions or actions or assumptions. For example, the simple mistaken identities where you swear you see your friend walking ahead, and when you get closer you realize it's the wrong person. Or, post-scary movie, every sound and shadow is converted to "must-be-real" imagery from the movie. The list goes on and on, but this isn't a post about perception.
This is a post about uncertainty. Therefore, due to some rather amusing events that I'm sure I'll look back and chuckle to myself about, I retract my words. "They say" isn't the most dangerous thing - doubt is. "They say" means nothing in a situation where doubt doesn't exist. Thus, leading to trust.
The most important, defining moment, is trust. How much do you trust me?
I've had my share of small scale "he say/she say" recently. I also realize how easy it is to get caught up with it and try to rectify something. But you can't really stop that ball from moving. What you can do, however, is focus on that which you trust and have control over...
There will always be people's commentary. It's up to you to figure out what you need to know and whether you actually know it. If you do, that commentary would mean naught. If you don't, get ready for the roller-coaster doubt ride.
Pay no more mind to what you think you've seen
It's as they do only
Say what they say
'Cause there's only one way
They-Say Vision
It takes you back to just where you want
Like when you ain't know no way
-"They-say vision" Res
Shelli out.
P.S. I just realized the smell of mosquito coils brings me back to childhood memories of my babysitter. Hmm... and "they say" scent is the most powerful memory trigger....lol
Long Independence Day weekend - what did I do? Sleep... a LOT.
School is really making me indifferent to some things, like holidays. I remember one of my professors saying that the most challenging thing that happened to him in college, was to un-learn everything he knew before.
I used to tell my high school students the same thing... that when they get to college, they're going to feel so deceived. Not because of any deliberate actions of the teacher, or false information as the syllabus is set with their supposed best interest. Instead, more along the lines of how pivoting details are left out of the story and alters your entire perception.
For example, I'm tutoring a girl right now that's in high school. When we're covering History and I ask her a question as it pertains to the abolition of slavery, or why the slaves were enslaved, etc etc... I get to hear about how concerned the Abolitionists were on a humanitarian level, or how backward the Africans were like sitting ducks. You reach college level and you start to hear about the economic pressures of maintaining the plantations in the islands, in the midst of all the slave rebellions, compared to the profits of newly colonized India... Suddenly these humanitarian efforts start to sound a little more like economics talking and falls under that legal category (which I can't remember the term it's called) where the action is just/legal and moral correct - but the motive is all wrong. I'm not saying there weren't concerned humanitarians somewhere in there, I'm just saying they only got a chance because it was no longer profitable to maintain the plantations, under slave labour (and perhaps otherwise) in the islands.
Every time we get on the topic I tend to go a lil' off-track until she has a blank expression on her face, and I query why she's looking like she doesn't know this from before... and then she shows me the textbook - the same textbook I learned from. *sigh* Africans weren't even backward people... Naive perhaps, but naivety does not equate backward. They were far more developed than England at that time... And England has just came out of it's Middle Ages to catch up with the rest of the world... Christopher Columbus wasn't the first to grace the islands, but that's still the story we're told - even though it's popular knowledge. OoOoOh... the deception.
***
So, how does this relate to holidays. My politics classes are not being very encouraging... Well, in actuality, how independent are we really? We're independently poor (lol). Like a child that fights to leave their parents house for the sake of, to struggle - literally and indefinitely - on their own. Our strings as an independent, developing territory is still being pulled by other larger countries and corporations. If you're truly independent, surely you'd have some power and influence over your writing your own script, eh? Therefore, how independent are we? We're not even "a big man... in we own house." (as my prof. loves to say)
And, I haven't done that much reading into the text as yet - I'll do that this week - aside from class lectures... But it seems to strike me as reminiscent of American politics. Not in the "look how successful" they are, because they're in debt and for the most part, they rule by arms. What struck me most about my American Poli. Sci. class in NY was that despite the general collective appearance to the rest of the world as a "United" body of states..... It couldn't be more divided... Sure they have some standard laws that the constitution governs over entirely... But each state has their own set of laws. What goes for one, doesn't necessarily go for the other. They move like smaller autonomous bodies within a larger body. Perhaps it's just my misconception, but I never saw how divided it was. Furthermore, the President doesn't (or didn't...I don't know if it's changed with Obama seeing the existing economic circumstances dictate more actual leadership and less puppeteering) have that much power or influence beyond a signature because the last thing they want is anything resembling a monarchy. It's almost as if their laws go fine, until something stops them. This blockade no matter how tiny is seen as an offense against their person, a threat to their liberty and somehow *confused face* bares semblance to rule under the monarch........And there commences the petition for a new law passed to guarantee their rights. For example, the right to burn the American flag. I really don't think this is the right way to engage in "symbolic speech" by flag desecration. (Click on the last sentence for the Wikipedia reference on this..)
Looking at the failure of Federation, the little arguments and such... The efforts to get CSME project on stream and such.... reminds me of the inter-state bickering of the US... which brings forth the next questions, would it work? Can it work? And does it really work?
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On a minor aside, what I found most amusing about this weekend though... was the irony that while in school everyone complains about the mandatory uniform. Now that we're out of school, any theme event is an excuse for many of those same people to be willing to dress like everyone else. (..lol..) Furthermore, beyond the actual day celebrations, how many of them are actually that patriotic? Hmmm...? How many even voted last elections? And if yes, how many voted from actually thinking and making a proper decision, rather than under the political marketing with free concerts and t-shirts....?
I was just having the most interesting conversation with Donald.... well somehow we always end up on some obscure heavy topic but yea...
So we're talking about swearing for loved ones and cheating.
I always remember my dad telling me that he hates to get involved in people's business. Often he knows things, and despite knowing he'd say nothing, and if you came and told him he would act like he doesn't know.... Because he chooses not to get involved or part-take. As it relates to relationships, he continued with his theory that if the couple is happy as they are, why ruin it? Many times, a relationship is going good for the most part, and some concerned third party brings news of an outside affair, and the relationship falls apart and both parties end up miserable and heart broken. Therefore, by bringing news - have you really done a good thing?
Now by no means am I saying that I condone cheating. I can't even directly say that I wouldn't want to know. I'm a strange individual. In my short history of relationships, cheating (on me) has been consistent. But I've also been a rather paranoid person as well. First time I was young and uncertain of what a relationship was and if I understood what it meant to be in one. Second time I had trust issues, 3rd party issues and the notion of cheating falls into an arguably grey overlapping area. And the last guy... stupes.. the last guy should not have happened to begin with. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and you're not the great sorcerer Merlin so you can't miraculously change it to a cute, lovable, fluffy puppy - there's just certain things you don't do. And in each situation, I walked. I was sad for a lil' while, but that didn't stop the block and delete from my life process that ensued. I'm great friends now with both of my ex-es (the ones that count as people worth noting) but that's after an extended period of them ceasing to exist in my mind.
Had I not found out? Would things be different?
First of all, if you wanna be a player you have to know to play the game. Neither party really knew what they were doing, left enough traces unintentionally uncovered. And I have a way of finding things out. But let's say either was meticulous. That I wasn't distrustful or potentially unhappy... Let's assume that I was beaming from cheek to cheek almost everyday. Ok... so I was sometimes... That I was the best gf I could be, and treated my bf with respect, trust, etc... And they treated me similarly. There were no real foreseeable issues. Nothing that would make me remotely suspect a single thing.
And I know relationships like this... where the guy undergoes meticulous effort to cover every single base and have at least 3 circumstantially valid pre-planted potential "hunny I told you about this before..." explanations. The girl is happy. The guy is happy. (This is a very generalized he, her, him, girl, boy, guy now...not meant to be taken as an actual individual per se but an example) He doesn't cheat for lack of love and respect. He cheats because he can actually. Perhaps, because he thinks so highly of his gf that he doesn't want to do certain things with her because he doesn't want to see her in a too dirty light. Perhaps, because it's a long distance relationship.
He carefully chooses a cheating partner to eliminate the potential of information slippage... Reinforces the purely physical aspect of the "relationship" and that no one would take the place of his gf, especially not the cheat partner.
However, regardless the reason... The girl is happy in her ignorance. He's an integral part of her world. Helps her to be a better person.. all that good stuff. Likewise, the guy loves the girl to bits and pieces and shows her every chance he can - but cheats on the down low. Takes the time and effort to do it in such a way that her character is not compromised... or vice versa...
Now the third party comes in to do a favor and tell the trusting girl that her happy bubble needs prompt popping. The bubble gets popped, and all parties end up miserable. Or... in some instances, the couple look beyond it, forgive the cheating party and move on beyond the incident.
What would be the point? The value of such? If the people are happy in their existing situation, why should you get involved? What's in darkness will come to light eventually.. and if it doesn't, then oh well - it wasn't meant to.
By no means am I saying that I condone cheating... I'm just saying... If you know, chances are they probably do too... And if they don't know, is it really your part to get involved?
How does this relate to swearing for loved ones? So I said that I'm not worried... and I don't worry about stuff like that with my new bf... and I doubt my bf would engage in such, and if he is, he's one of the meticulous ones because I have no reason to suspect anything. Now I'm by no means solemnly swearing, head on a block (but that's purely because accidents happen and a knife accidentally knicking my skin is an icky thought) but... I trust him. And I trust him enough to believe that he wouldn't intentionally set out to hurt me... and that factors in somehow... And I'm not going out of my way to disprove and make myself unhappy. Keeping an element of distrust, I've learnt, is just a way of unconsciously looking for an "I knew this was going to happen" in the relationship. When you look for things, you seem to find it and may end up even causing it just because of the suspicion... No one wants to be the "gullible idiot" but similarly, no one wants to be fool who blocked their own shot and ruined a good thing.
***
And as we continued the convo with regards to your value as a person in the relationship and stuff. I have mixed views. I'm opinionated, stubborn and sometimes...or most times.. in certain situations.. uncompromising unless I can be convinced that my stance is founded on false premises and yours is plausible.
I'm learning to try to always remember your value as a partner in any relationship. Be it a friendship, romance, etc. Everyone brings something to the table. If you're doing your part, being the best friend, gf, bf, whatever... that you could be sincerely and the other party is taking it for granted or decides they should want to leave. Let them.
Always remember your value. In the end, most times, they realize what they've lost and would come back. Always think of yourself, and everyone in your life as special and treat them accordingly. Everyone is special. And... if you lose any of those ones... you'd be losing a good thing. And most likely, you'd live to regret it.
I've had people list me as regrets (of having lost). My ex-es did say as much post-breakup, years later... I've had friends that have said as much as well (of course on a platonic level). Likewise, I have my list of people I regret losing that I ponder from time to time. I have moments where I re-think breakups... and I can't think of a person more absolute than me when I start to walk, so pride alone stops me from turning back after all my huffing and puffing.
Anyways... it's getting late and I'm forgetting the point of this post.
In conclusion, the main points I hope I made was that.. while cheating is not a good thing and should not be condoned, ignorance does equal bliss sometimes. And cheating doesn't necessarily mean you don't love the person - it could simply mean you're momentarily distracted by a shiney, new toy so to speak. Also, never forget your value as a person or ever forget you're special regardless, and treat others accordingly.
Welcome to my little piece of the blogosphere. I'm a Caribbean artist/ wildlife conservationist/ adventure enthusiast. Hope my blog brings a bit of sunshine into your life.
