I left the me I used to be...
...I wanna see this through
I left the me I used to...
...If only you'd see it too...
-"City" Natalie Imbruglia
***
It must get tiring realizing there's always just a little more room to fall. Correction, it's frustrating to realize you haven't quite hit the bottom and there's just a little bit more depression to fall through.
I stand by the principle of "if you can look up, sit up, then you can get up" but I don't believe that's possible while free falling.
Stupes.
Shelli out.
You Might Also Like
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
Now make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
-"Break Away" Kelly Clarkson
***
And it's beginning to get to me...
Something's up. I'm not quite sure what it is. One thing is certain though, this shall make for some good art and writing. Nanowrimo is next month. I'll just make a melodramatic plot line...lol
But seriously though, something's up and I'm not sure what it is. I'm re-thinking everything. I'm analyzing everything. Perhaps, being a bit too critical. But perhaps it's all this head burying in the sand, that has got me here to begin with.
No I can't just relax and let it go. I'm not sure what it is I'm letting go. There's a question mark over what the problem is... and that, truly is, more annoying than the problem. If only I could go to war with my denial, I would kill it. But I can't... because I'm excellent at providing hiding places.
So... after years of playing circular arguments, I shall try to deal with this from the front. No more nonverbal communication. Time to start being a big girl, and start being a lot more open, a lot more vocal, a lot more everything.
And about the coldness I'm beginning to feel... I want to kill that too. I don't want to be cold.
I could/should be at the beach right now at the cook but I'm not because...
So... I have an exam tomorrow that I'm not ready for and I'm not able to focus on... and that's beginning to get to me too.
I'm craving cake again too... but there's no cake in the house and it's a public holiday.
Know what? I'm going to write a poem listing all these things that are beginning to get to me...stupes.
Shelli out.
Cuz each broken heart will eventually mend...
Your heart belongs to someone you have yet to meet...
And someday you will be loved.
-DCFC "Someday you will be loved"
You Might Also Like
But sweet surrender,
Is all that I have... to give
-"Sweet Surrender" Sarah McLachlin
***
Under the blood, above the influence - NANOWRIMO says (1:36 AM):
*its about time for one of my periodic retreats, analyze everything and decide on a course of action cause there's alot to be done
*and between home and school i'm drained
Shelli... mixed up moods and attitudes won't work (8) says (1:37 AM):
*where do u have these retreats?
Under the blood, above the influence - NANOWRIMO says (1:37 AM):
*right now its a matter of cultivating those soft skills that are gonna help me achieve my goals in the time to come
Shelli... mixed up moods and attitudes won't work (8) says (1:38 AM):
*right
Under the blood, above the influence - NANOWRIMO says (1:38 AM):
*that depends on mood and frame of mind on the day, doesn't really matter
Shelli... it doesn't mean much.. it doesn't mean anything at all... the life i've left behind me is a cold room... (8) says (1:40 AM):
*i think im going to do one of those myself
*it sort of feels like a spinning top
*doesnt it?
Under the blood, above the influence - NANOWRIMO says (1:40 AM):
*indeed
Shelli... it doesn't mean much.. it doesn't mean anything at all... the life i've left behind me is a cold room... (8) says (1:40 AM):
*and i know this will be fine... so long as i catch a break
*just one break and i'll be good
***
I miss college.
You Might Also Like
